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Kim Jong UnDead, another Italian jumps off a sinking ship, and men no longer offering Courtney Cox: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/5 - 2/11
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-02-15 8:24:47 AM (12 comments) | Permalink
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3487 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2012 at 9:26 AM (6 years ago) | | share: more»
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Nothing new this week since most of my energy is on Vegas preparations, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-02-05 to Sat 2012-02-11:
The rate of STDs is skyrocketing among sexually active senior citizens. Keep that in mind the next time your Nana wants to give you a kiss
Lost: One lightsaber stolen from Jedi in a Brooklyn bar known as a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Suspect is bearded, may have the death sentence on twelve systems
Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family
Canada now officially endorses torture. This is neither a Celine Dion nor Nickelback joke
Animal slavery trial of PETA against Sea World begins. Shamu reportedly hires a real shark for a lawyer
I-N-T-E-S-T-I-N-A-L I-L-L-N-E-S-S breaks out at cheerleading tournament
Shyness and grieving will soon be classified as mental illnesses. In other news, pharmaceutical companies will soon have nice new drugs available to help cure you of your newly classified illnesses
Fan of British sitcom "Red Dwarf" escapes Philadelphia Police custody. Last seen wearing handcuffs and green jumpsuit. Answers to "Smeghead"
IRS updates their smartphone app. Will now check your tax return and immediately tell how much jail time you can realistically expect to serve
Pot smoking drivers 'twice as likely to cause car crash'. Really really slow car crashes
Kim Jong Un Dead. I repeat - Un Dead
Fabio Capello resigns as England soccer coach. Who would have thought an Italian would leave a sinking ship?
Kevin Youkilis engaged to Tom Brady's sister. Still unclear how New York will ruin this for New England fans, too
Olympics-bound female Afghani athlete doesn't play team sports, but you should see her box
Is Facebook addictive? Of course not. That's just stupid... being addicted to a website. Like that could ever happen. Now, I have to go refresh TotalFARK a dozen times per minute to see if my latest submission was greenlit
Doctors say erectile dysfunction may be a warning -- just one that doesn't stand out
Researchers develop way to scan liquids that may allow travelers to carry on enough vodka to relieve the stress of the TSA screening, Southwest boarding process
Men have not been offering Courteney Cox
Fire destroys "Gone with the Wind" items. This is a repeat
Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
In Nevada victory speech, Romney says his mission is to "save the soul of America" - presumably by letting America die and then retroactively baptising it
Arizona court forces potential candidate off of city council ballot because her English isn't good enough, setting a dangerous precedent that may leave the entirety of the south ungoverned
Wingnuts: we don't need a protocol droid. Romney: Sir, I've also been programmed for over thirty secondary functions. Wingnuts: What we really need is a droid that understands wharrgarbl. Romney: It's like a second language for me
Credit Suisse reports firste losse in three yearse
$5.2b Tappan Zee project gets bids from four qualified contractors, who will keep the $7.1 billion project within its $8.9 billion budget in five years, at which point the $13 billion bridge will cost an estimated $19.6 billion
Whitman founder accused of using insider information. Hey, someone's gotta know where the coconut candies are
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