Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Kim Jong UnDead, another Italian jumps off a sinking ship, and men no longer offering Courtney Cox: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/5 - 2/11
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-02-15 8:24:47 AM (12 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

3487 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2012 at 9:26 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Nothing new this week since most of my energy is on Vegas preparations, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-02-05 to Sat 2012-02-11:

img.fark.netView Full Size
  The rate of STDs is skyrocketing among sexually active senior citizens. Keep that in mind the next time your Nana wants to give you a kiss    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Lost: One lightsaber stolen from Jedi in a Brooklyn bar known as a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Suspect is bearded, may have the death sentence on twelve systems    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Canada now officially endorses torture. This is neither a Celine Dion nor Nickelback joke    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Animal slavery trial of PETA against Sea World begins. Shamu reportedly hires a real shark for a lawyer    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  I-N-T-E-S-T-I-N-A-L I-L-L-N-E-S-S breaks out at cheerleading tournament    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Shyness and grieving will soon be classified as mental illnesses. In other news, pharmaceutical companies will soon have nice new drugs available to help cure you of your newly classified illnesses    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Fan of British sitcom "Red Dwarf" escapes Philadelphia Police custody. Last seen wearing handcuffs and green jumpsuit. Answers to "Smeghead"    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  IRS updates their smartphone app. Will now check your tax return and immediately tell how much jail time you can realistically expect to serve    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Pot smoking drivers 'twice as likely to cause car crash'. Really really slow car crashes    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Kim Jong Un Dead. I repeat - Un Dead    
img.fark.netView Full Size



Sports:

img.fark.netView Full Size
  Fabio Capello resigns as England soccer coach. Who would have thought an Italian would leave a sinking ship?    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Kevin Youkilis engaged to Tom Brady's sister. Still unclear how New York will ruin this for New England fans, too    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Olympics-bound female Afghani athlete doesn't play team sports, but you should see her box    
img.fark.netView Full Size



Geek:

img.fark.netView Full Size
  Is Facebook addictive? Of course not. That's just stupid... being addicted to a website. Like that could ever happen. Now, I have to go refresh TotalFARK a dozen times per minute to see if my latest submission was greenlit    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Doctors say erectile dysfunction may be a warning -- just one that doesn't stand out    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Researchers develop way to scan liquids that may allow travelers to carry on enough vodka to relieve the stress of the TSA screening, Southwest boarding process    
img.fark.netView Full Size



Entertainment:

img.fark.netView Full Size
  Men have not been offering Courteney Cox    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Fire destroys "Gone with the Wind" items. This is a repeat    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death  


Politics:

img.fark.netView Full Size
  In Nevada victory speech, Romney says his mission is to "save the soul of America" - presumably by letting America die and then retroactively baptising it    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Arizona court forces potential candidate off of city council ballot because her English isn't good enough, setting a dangerous precedent that may leave the entirety of the south ungoverned    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Wingnuts: we don't need a protocol droid. Romney: Sir, I've also been programmed for over thirty secondary functions. Wingnuts: What we really need is a droid that understands wharrgarbl. Romney: It's like a second language for me    
img.fark.netView Full Size



Business:

img.fark.netView Full Size
  Credit Suisse reports firste losse in three yearse    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  $5.2b Tappan Zee project gets bids from four qualified contractors, who will keep the $7.1 billion project within its $8.9 billion budget in five years, at which point the $13 billion bridge will cost an estimated $19.6 billion    
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
  Whitman founder accused of using insider information. Hey, someone's gotta know where the coconut candies are    
img.fark.netView Full Size
· · ·

12 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2012-02-15 09:29:56 AM  
I like the Arizona spanglish candidate one
 
2012-02-15 09:36:17 AM  
The Whitney Houston one was ripped off from the NY Post, so I give it a DQ.

The Olympic Afghani woman is the one I think is great.
 
2012-02-15 09:39:21 AM  
No pastor's daughter holier than thou?
 
2012-02-15 09:40:24 AM  
Protocol droid headline is a strong candidate for the HOTY contest when it comes around.
 
2012-02-15 09:47:14 AM  
Wasn't Whitney Houston rumored to have been found dead in an embassy in Beijing?
 
2012-02-15 10:03:58 AM  

Balchinian: The Whitney Houston one was ripped off from the NY Post, so I give it a DQ.
.


I feel like crap now. I came to remark that it was my favorite headline of the year, so far. Too bad it wasn't a Fark original. What's worse is that I have to give credit to the NY Post for doing something clever. Oh well, I guess it had to happen at least once in the 211 years it's been in business.
 
2012-02-15 10:11:51 AM  

tillerman35: Balchinian: The Whitney Houston one was ripped off from the NY Post, so I give it a DQ.

I feel like crap now. I came to remark that it was my favorite headline of the year, so far. Too bad it wasn't a Fark original. What's worse is that I have to give credit to the NY Post for doing something clever. Oh well, I guess it had to happen at least once in the 211 years it's been in business.



Fark used the Ike/Tina headline for Ike's death, before that edition of the Post was published.
 
2012-02-15 10:29:57 AM  

LockeOak: No pastor's daughter holier than thou?


That was on Monday, wasn't it?
 
2012-02-15 10:37:55 AM  

SmackLT: LockeOak: No pastor's daughter holier than thou?

That was on Monday, wasn't it?


I think you're right. As usual, Fark is a few days behind.
 
2012-02-15 11:13:01 AM  
No T-shirt available for the Whitney Houston headline?
 
2012-02-15 03:07:13 PM  

Balchinian: The Olympic Afghani woman is the one I think is great.


Why thank you.
 
2012-02-17 08:54:38 PM  

omegaminus: tillerman35: Balchinian: The Whitney Houston one was ripped off from the NY Post, so I give it a DQ.

I feel like crap now. I came to remark that it was my favorite headline of the year, so far. Too bad it wasn't a Fark original. What's worse is that I have to give credit to the NY Post for doing something clever. Oh well, I guess it had to happen at least once in the 211 years it's been in business.

Fark used the Ike/Tina headline for Ike's death, before that edition of the Post was published.


And my Whitney headline was attempting to give a new twist to an old joke.
 
Displayed 12 of 12 comments


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report