I'm somewhat impressed. Subby took the high road and avoided any Yodaisms for the cola wars beginning...

It's too bad she won't stay carbonated but then again, what does?

New Coke was a scam perpetuated by the Bavarian Illuminati to get high fructose corn syrup into wide use.

Was there. Reportedly can't take it anymore.

I like RC cola.

"Leave alone, I only make straws!"

"Oh Chu, the colas I've drank with your straws..."

The first victim:




/hopefully not obscure.

chewielouie: Was there. Reportedly can't take it anymore.

Came here to say he really needs to update that song for my generation.

the shoulder the road

Call me when one of them makes Quartz, Victory and Quantum.

MythDragon: The first victim:




/hopefully not obscure.

The Goblin truck ruled.

I_C_Weener: I'm a veteran of the Cola Wars.

I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the carbonation's on the inside
I'm not sure if there's anything left of me.

I used to fight in the Coke wars, then I took an arrow in the knee.

/+1 to subby

/hot

I_C_Weener: I'm a veteran of the Cola Wars. It wasn't the colas that lost. It was Mr. Pibb. Poor guy just couldn't hang on any longer. And I salute Mr. Pibb. He never sold out. He never went with new Mr. Pibb. He didn't go with Pibb Clear. He was the same guy at the end as he was at the beginning.

Thank you for your service Mr. Pibb.

Dude shoulda got his degree like Mr. Pepper. Have something to fall back on after the limelight.

Awesome headline. Out yourself submitter!

ciberido: I_C_Weener: I'm a veteran of the Cola Wars.

I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the carbonation's on the inside
I'm not sure if there's anything left of me.

Also Awesome.

MythDragon: The first victim:
/hopefully not obscure.

Maximum Overdrive

If you're smart you'll choose Pepsi. Not only because their drinks taste better but because Pepsi has their hands in a lot of stuff besides drinks which will make it easier for them to rule the world.

So the prophecies are coming true. Everyone, this is the great war to end all wars. We may not see dawn break on Dec. 22. I warn thee!

FTFA: "per-capita consumption (of soda) last year was 43.6 gallons."


This is why you're fat people.

with a particular focus on North America

Why would you do that, you have like 7 billion people in the world, your drink has a high enough profit margin where you could sell it in developing markets and still make money. How much more freakin soda do you think people in North America can buy? I would think you'd get a way better ror on you advertising dollar in other markets... but that's just me.

Maybe we'll get another Negativland album out of this.

Jake Havechek: New Coke was a scam perpetuated by the Bavarian Illuminati to get high fructose corn syrup into wide use.

Sad thing is, you're probably not too far off the mark. If Coca Cola was made with cane or beet sugar up until New Coke, returning to the "original formula" but neglecting to publicize the switch to HFCS would allow them to avoid people noticing the obvious differences between the versions.

Anyone know when they started using Corn Syrup?

You see me now a veteran of a thousand cola wars,
I've been drinking from a can so long
Where the carbonation roars
And I'm young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the caffeine's on the inside
I'm not sure if there's a six pack left for me.

Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
It's time we had some leave
We've been living in the flames
We've been eating up our brains
Oh, please don't let theses shakes go on

You ask me why I'm weary, why I can't speak to you,
You blame the soda for my silence,
Say it's time for tea to brew,
But the war's still going on dear,
and there's no end that I know...
And I can't say if we'll ever...
I can't say if we'll ever again see Pepsi Free

Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
It's time we had some leave
We've been living in the flames
We've been eating up our brains
Oh, please don't let theses shakes go on

You see me now a veteran of a thousand cola wars,
My carbonation's spent at last,
My aluminum's destroyed,
I have used up all my Coke Points and I'm finally caffeine free,
Carmel color's all I'm made of,
Dare you say "New Coke" to me!?!

Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
Give me Pepsi Clear
Where the tides of cola swell
And been sliding into hell
Oh, please don't let shakes go on
Don't let these shakes go on
Don't let these shakes go on

Drink a Pepsi, starve a cat.

czetie: I used to fight in the Coke wars, then I took an arrow in the knee.

/+1 to subby

"You whats wrong with Skyrim dese days? Everyone is obsessed with pop!"

"I work for Belethor. At the General Soda store."

*bangs axe on shield* "You picked a bad time to ask for ice!"

MythDragon: The first victim:
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[t3.gstatic.com image 316x160]
[cdn.pocket-lint.com image 555x303]

/hopefully not obscure.

Curtis, are you dead?!?!?! (Nothing is obscure on Fark)

"You a see picture in a magazine. It is of a woman holding a can of Coke between her breasts..."

"Is this a test to see if I am a Pepsi drinker or a lesbian, Mr. Deckard?"

czetie: I used to fight in the Coke wars, then I took an arrow in the knee.

/+1 to subby

You fought in the Coke Wars?

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day drinks Coca Cola with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us during the cola wars.

If I was a chick I'd let Pepsi Max penetrate me and implant its seed in my womb. That's how much I like it.

Wonderful headline. I read it in Roy's voice and it was beautiful.

Now lost, like cola in rain.

Gassy the angels fell. Deep thunder rolled around their sixpacks... burning with the fires of RC.

/got nuthin'

Headso: with a particular focus on North America

Why would you do that, you have like 7 billion people in the world, your drink has a high enough profit margin where you could sell it in developing markets and still make money. How much more freakin soda do you think people in North America can buy? I would think you'd get a way better ror on you advertising dollar in other markets... but that's just me.

It's not like Coke is a new product. They have millions of devoted followers who'd sooner drink the bath water Whitney Houston stewed in than drink a Pepsi. (I'm one of them). And same for Pepsi drinkers. I like the Pepsi ads. They're funny. But no amount of advertising is gonna make me like the taste of Pepsi. No amount of Coke advertising is gonna get Pepsi drinker to like Coke. People have particular tastes they like. If you like Coke, drink coke. If you like Pepsi, open a Coke and let it sit out for half a day until it's flat.

Of course we have those people who say "it all tastes the same." or "I like Sam's Choice cola" Those people are idiots who drive Hyundais because "they are basicly the same thing as Honda"

Jake Havechek: New Coke was a scam perpetuated by the Bavarian Illuminati to get high fructose corn syrup into wide use.

Prussian Illuminati.

The Bavarians hate corn and would not associate with it after ethanol was developed.