Couldn't those be considered ways to get dumped at any time?

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 10. Masturbate furiously into her sister's sock drawer.

11. Masturbate furiously into her sister's hair

Lean in and say "Your sister/mother/grandmother/father/goldendoodle loves it from behind, too."

SmackLT: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 10. Masturbate furiously into her sister's sock drawer.

11. Masturbate furiously into her sister's hair

12. Masturbate furiously into her sister

SmackLT: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 10. Masturbate furiously into her sister's sock drawer.

11. Masturbate furiously into her sister's hair

12. Masturbate furiously into her mom's hair

"Fark her best friend" surprisingly absent.

5. "Valentine's Day is just a holiday created by the corporate giant Hallmark to get people to associate material things with love."

I don't think I've had a friend, let alone dated someone, who felt otherwise. It's just that you celebrate the dumb thing anyway and try to focus on the parts you enjoy without becoming too sucked up in the consumerism. I mean, it's not like Americans treat Christmas like it's about Christ anymore, or St. Patrick's Day like it is about Ireland's conversion to Catholicism.

Oh please, FTFA:

4. "I thought you said you weren't into Valentine's Day": Ladies, you can retire that lie now. We never believed it.

Please believe me. I'm NOT into Valentine's Day. Never have been. I have a deep seated hatred of cards (waste of money, time, and trees...I hope one day they become completely extinct I hate cards so much), I'm on a diet so candy is a cruel joke, I'd rather grow flowers then receive cut ones from the store, and all the restaurants are PACKED on Valentine's day which they usually add extra tables for everything is loud, cramped, and generally unpleasant.

You know what I'm doing for Valentine's Day? Nothing special. I'm going home, doing chores, cooking dinner, and watching DS9 with my husband until bed time at which point I will go to sleep. My husband and I do enough thoughtful, kind, and romantic things for each other throughout the year. I prefer spontaneous romance over corporately manufactured and mandated romance.

ph0rk: /For bonus points, send her pictures of the little boys whose hands have been lopped off in Sierra Leone because of the diamond trade.

Woman: "Both hands?"

#9 - Buy her the sluttiest lingerie you can and say "It's so nice to not have to ask anymore if these come in children's sizes"

hailin: You know what I'm doing for Valentine's Day? Nothing special. I'm going home, doing chores, cooking dinner, and watching DS9 with my husband until bed time at which point I will go to sleep. My husband and I do enough thoughtful, kind, and romantic things for each other throughout the year. I prefer spontaneous romance over corporately manufactured and mandated romance.

Our middle son has his first reasonably serious girlfriend right now. A couple of nights ago Mrs RT & I sat him down & explained #5 & how a gift out of the blue just because it's the 3rd Wed of the month is much better than the biggest of all Hallmark Holidays. He said that his girlfriend (a very sensible girl) had told him the same thing last week. There is hope for the future after all (of course the daughter was auditing the lesson & getting more & more upset because she thinks that the world revolves around her.... so perhaps not).

/amusingly our little talk came as we all were watching DS9 too. Perhaps that is the uniting factor.

There's a surprising amount of women who blame Rihanna for Chris Brown hitting her, so not sure #1 is accurate in some cases. It's sad.

Sasquach: I got dumped this morning so I'm really getting a kick....

It sounds like you escaped a future nightmare. Be glad that you dodged that bullet & don't have one of the ex-girlfriend stories I read here all too often.

sharkbeagle: Cum in her mouth.

Really? She's not worth it then.

Sasquach: I got dumped this morning so I'm really getting a kick....

/no seriously
//her flowers weren't nice enough (I kid you not, I work 45 hours/week and am going to school (almost) full time (engineering), I don't exactly have a lot of spare cash and/or florist time)
///1.5 years and this ends it
////then again, if she's willing to end this over flowers....
//can I get a refund on the engagement ring?

Men really are obtuse. She is not dumping you over flowers and everything else was rainbows and butterflies. She is dumping you because your cheap flowers is the straw that broke the camel's back on a variety of issues that have been bugging her but either she was too immature to express her disappointment/anger/resentfulness of the issues or you were too dense to listen to what she was saying.

Either way it sucks to be dumped and I'm sorry it happened, but on the bright side Valentine's Day is a great time to find depressed women at the bars who put too much stock into a silly holiday and therefore will sleep with any guy that says "You have beautiful eyes".

pregerstheHobo: My gf has had two friends get engaged in the past month so she has been feeling "left out" of all the girly stuff.

I never really understood why women do that. I had 3 friends get married a couple years before I got engaged and I wasn't jealous or feeling left out at all. I supported them and had fun at their weddings.

RIght now I have four friends who are pregnant, but the last thing I want to do right now is have a baby. They keep bugging me so all the kids can "Grow up being friends." Fark that, I'm going to Key West in December and want to flaunt my bikini body and drink lots of margaritas.

Sasquach: I got dumped this morning so I'm really getting a kick....

/no seriously
//her flowers weren't nice enough (I kid you not, I work 45 hours/week and am going to school (almost) full time (engineering), I don't exactly have a lot of spare cash and/or florist time)
///1.5 years and this ends it
////then again, if she's willing to end this over flowers....
//can I get a refund on the engagement ring?

That crazy entitlement couldn't have come out of nowhere. Why were you dating a woman like this in the first place?