Lupercalia was awesome. The women lined up in the streets to be flogged - it was a fertility thing. Everyone was good and drunk, as in most worthwhile festivals.

The only person that celebrated Valentine's Day right is Al Capone.

Fark to the rescue once again!

Here I am sitting around trying to figure out what to do for my wife today. Flowers? Chocolates? All the while the answer was right here online. Well, I'm off to the supermarket. I hope there are still some decent bits of goat available for a sweet thong. Man....she's going to LOVE this....not like that disaster last year.

for fertility

r0Be: Fark to the rescue once again!

Here I am sitting around trying to figure out what to do for my wife today. Flowers? Chocolates? All the while the answer was right here online. Well, I'm off to the supermarket. I hope there are still some decent bits of goat available for a sweet thong. Man....she's going to LOVE this....not like that disaster last year.

Exactly. Try to say this shiat to your significant other, or talk about the diamond industry, and it is a ticket to the dog house.

pute kisses like a man: the good news, I have recently acquired the knowledge of where I can buy a whole goat.

the bad news, it will be dead

The funny news, I don't have a car - I'm unsure how my fellow rapid transit patrons would enjoy my cloven hoofed friend

For a good laugh, google "magical old". The stand up is Julian or Jason McCullough. Little old Chinese lady trying to board a bus with a live chicken.

Magorn: You know all that "heart shaped" merchandise we exchange on Valentine's Day?

If you know anything about anatomy you know hearts aren't shaped like that, and if you've ever seen a woman naked you know what IS

Think about that as you give your sweetie a "heart" tonight

Spleen? You're talking about the spleen, right?

/collarbone?

God Is My Co-Pirate: Lupercalia was awesome. The women lined up in the streets to be flogged - it was a fertility thing. Everyone was good and drunk, as in most worthwhile festivals.

I thought I was the only one on Fark old enough to remember Lupercalia. Do you remember the year that they cut the price of wine so the festival lasted like three days an even a eunuch could get laid.

Magorn: You know all that "heart shaped" merchandise we exchange on Valentine's Day?

If you know anything about anatomy you know hearts aren't shaped like that, and if you've ever seen a woman naked you know what IS

Think about that as you give your sweetie a "heart" tonight

Male bits also have a "heart" shape from certain angles in certain states. Also flowers: amputated plant genatalia.

"Although it might sound like some sort of perverted sado-masochistic ritual..."

One reason it might sound like that is because that is a description of exactly what it farking is!

-1 Subby

That was niether seedy nor scandalous..

I kinda like this party. ;)

Magorn: "beating is decent, it can even be done in church, sex can't"

Challenge Accepted.

Cheron: God Is My Co-Pirate: Lupercalia was awesome. The women lined up in the streets to be flogged - it was a fertility thing. Everyone was good and drunk, as in most worthwhile festivals.

I thought I was the only one on Fark old enough to remember Lupercalia. Do you remember the year that they cut the price of wine so the festival lasted like three days an even a eunuch could get laid.

Man, I was still hung over from Saturnalia. Good times.

blackhonda: JustinCase: magical old

Thanks for that

Seconded.

Magorn: Peppermint Rose: Magorn: You know all that "heart shaped" merchandise we exchange on Valentine's Day?

If you know anything about anatomy you know hearts aren't shaped like that, and if you've ever seen a woman naked you know what IS

Think about that as you give your sweetie a "heart" tonight

Male bits also have a "heart" shape from certain angles in certain states. Also flowers: amputated plant genatalia.

True, but at least from my long and faithful study of the subject, the best possible representation of the classic shape is a woman bent over, went viewed from behind, particularly if she's the kind who has a shape that causes her "bits' to peek out slightly when in that pose

I concede the point as you are obviously well-studied and versed in this subject besides I believe you are correct. That is more of a heart shape than male bits.

Magorn: You know all that "heart shaped" merchandise we exchange on Valentine's Day?

If you know anything about anatomy you know hearts aren't shaped like that, and if you've ever seen a woman naked you know what IS

Think about that as you give your sweetie a "heart" tonight

[i'm_not_saying_it's_chesticles...but_it's_chesticles.jpg]

Thankfully we don't believe in V-day. I don't have to buy her anything and I like it! On the other hand, ill be buying her some bike upgrades for our anniversary?

Valentine's Day 1914 was the worst day for Teddy Roosevelt; his mother died of typhoid fever in the morning, and in the afternoon, his wife died giving birth to their daughter.

So now I don't biatch if I just get a card.

Warchild: Peppermint Rose: Male bits also have a "heart" shape from certain angles in certain states.

Connecticut? It's Connecticut, right?

No, no. It's a streetlight.