I used to miss my ex. Then I bought a scope

I'll bet she is tired.

Fart_Machine: I'll bet she is tired.

tread lightly..

Must have been a manual, hard as fark to do a burn out in a manual.

I used to love her, but i had to kill her
I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her
she's buried right here in my backyard...

a/k/a 'street justice'. nothing to see here. enjoy your Valentine.

considering there are people that will kill you for touching their empty wallet
she is lucky to be alive.

She's moving to Wheeling, WV.

Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

Not that it isn't funny, but the old "ran into my ex... reversed and ran over again" joke is a little to common for HOTY I think. I'm sure there's multiple examples already on fark too.

Ed Finnerty: FTFA: At the hospital, Baran had her ear re-attached and was released.

I can't help but imagine the hospital rolling her towards the exit in a wheelchair while stapling her ear back on and handing her the bill.

Super glue and a couple of thumbtacks.

That'll be $23,547.34 please.

You never know - it may have been Justified...

When asked how she was doing, Baran replied "tired".

If he had been driving a hybrid car, once the wheel touched her head the engine would have stalled trying to get the wheel over it.

That gives me an idea, I should get my oil changed.

Thats just how he rolls..

Deathfrogg: Thats just how he rolls..

Wow.

Not a fan of human-to-human violence with vehicles, really, much. If yer gonna do it, be a man/woman with balls/ovaries, and do it closer. Partly why I don't like drones abroad or at home...

Remove the human, you remove the point.

Read that thrice.

P.S. Take that poking finger, and recurl it now.

skinink: If he had been driving a hybrid car, once the wheel touched her head the engine would have stalled trying to get the wheel over it.

A hybrid? You know a studly guy like him was driving something big. You just never know when you might have to run somebody over.

That's one hard-headed woman.

Your smile blooms like a bright summer flower.
Your hair flows down like a soft rain shower.
Your eyes are like open seas, blue from coast to coast.
So, how come your ass looks like a truck?
Enough with the bread already.

not sure if her.. but name and location the same...

http://florida.arrests.org/Arrests/Toni_Baran_5696796/

Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

Seconded. Brilliant!

Sim Tree: jingks: Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

Not that it isn't funny, but the old "ran into my ex... reversed and ran over again" joke is a little to common for HOTY I think. I'm sure there's multiple examples already on fark too.

Huh. First time I've heard it.

last joke in this clip, good ole jeffery ross..
I miss her sometimes (new window)

It wasn't a GoodYear for her.

jfbnr24: It wasn't a GoodYear for her.

Typical woman, he finally uses a rubber and she complains.


I live in Firestone, I wonder if they do too.

God forbid any of you ever have to live through something of this nature. I hope you never have to answer the phone and hear your inconsolably weeping wife on the other end of the line as she mutters the only words she is able to muster "he put it in reverse...".

jingks: Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

Not that it isn't funny, but the old "ran into my ex... reversed and ran over again" joke is a little to common for HOTY I think. I'm sure there's multiple examples already on fark too.

Have to agree here. Great take on an old joke and it is funny but not original.

jst3p: God forbid any of you ever have to live through something of this nature. I hope you never have to answer the phone and hear your inconsolably weeping wife on the other end of the line as she mutters the only words she is able to muster "he put it in reverse...".

god forbid?
how about being married to a drinking slut of a catholic whore biaeotch who thinks whinney asssed housotn is gowd and likes to break furnitrurre over you while you sleep?


VAWA is for sexists.

slc11082: How come all these losers have girlfriends and wives and get married, Then they treat them like crap and I'm all alone?

Do you want an actual answer? It's simple, no woman respects a man they can dominate or who kisses her ass constantly. You don't have to run the biatch over with a car, but show some balls every once in a while. Assert yourself and if you can't do it then fake it till ya make it.

Indolent: Great headline Subby. I look forward to seeing this for headline of the week/month.

Agreed. +1 for the headline.

jingks: Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

Not that it isn't funny, but the old "ran into my ex... reversed and ran over again" joke is a little to common for HOTY I think. I'm sure there's multiple examples already on fark too.

It was the "he misses her sometimes" that was funny. The set-up was perfect.

slc11082: How come all these losers have girlfriends and wives and get married, Then they treat them like crap and I'm all alone?

Because being a nice guy is passive aggressive and creepy. Women like dark and mysterious men that could beat the shiat out of them at any second. It is sexy.

skinink: If he had been driving a hybrid car, once the wheel touched her head the engine would have stalled trying to get the wheel over it.

Hybrids have ungodly amounts of torque, it's top speed they fail at.

You're probably thinking of a Smart Car.

"She's a very lucky lady," Duggan said.

I beg to differ.

MacWizard: jingks: Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

Not that it isn't funny, but the old "ran into my ex... reversed and ran over again" joke is a little to common for HOTY I think. I'm sure there's multiple examples already on fark too.

It was the "he misses her sometimes" that was funny. The set-up was perfect.

See the video brandnewchair linked. Word-for-word the same joke, including the "miss her sometimes" last line, except that instead of referring to a "Florida man", it's in the first person.

The joke might not even be original to that comedian -- who ruins it a bit by giving away the "I miss her sometimes" punchline before reciting the whole joke. In general the standup comedian's delivery is less than ideal; he certainly shouldn't have ended the performance on that joke, because he had to shout that last line over the audience's waxing farewell applause, and it's a line that's funniest if said in a calm, wistful tone.

So while the joke actually worked better here than in the standup performance IMHO, it can't accurately be claimed to be original. On the other hand, something that may be worth considering: Should HOTY candidates actually be required to be original, or should it be enough that they work very well?

HOTY!

bel4sucks: slc11082: How come all these losers have girlfriends and wives and get married, Then they treat them like crap and I'm all alone?

Do you want an actual answer? It's simple, no woman respects a man they can dominate or who kisses her ass constantly. You don't have to run the biatch over with a car, but show some balls every once in a while. Assert yourself and if you can't do it then fake it till ya make it.

This.

I was just going to say that you're all alone because you're probably a pussy.

is Braking Bad?

Sim Tree: Month? Hell, this is HOTY material right there.

I doubt it since it turns up in a headline every 6 months or so. Just sayin.

LeroyBourne: Must have been a manual, hard as fark to do a burn out in a manual.

You're kidding, right?

/if I'd killed her when I wanted to, I'd be out by now.