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(YouTube)   First official trailer for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". Abe is kicking ass and taking heads   (youtube.com) divider line 98
    More: Spiffy, vampire slayer, Seth Grahame-Smith, Simon Kinberg, vampires, history books, President Lincoln, previews, Time Magazine  
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6665 clicks; posted to Video » on 13 Feb 2012 at 5:04 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-13 10:04:44 PM  

Whatthefark: Abraham Lincoln? Teddy Roosevelt should be the Vampire Hunter.
I heard he once killed a crocodile with nothing but his bare hands, BBQ'd it and ate it all to himself.


It's called "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" because it's based on the book by the same name.
 
2012-02-13 10:13:15 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: Am I the only one wishing Tim Burton wasn't attached to this film?


Yes.

Nels: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x281]


You poor thing. It must suck to be so boring.
 
2012-02-13 10:28:26 PM  

AaronSynn: You know, this looks cool and I want to see it....

But theres a little part of me that finds it slightly distasteful...Like they shouldn't make light of a great man by turning his story into something goofy....(but cool)


Could be worse.
 
2012-02-13 10:29:24 PM  

DeadMouseTails: I really enjoyed the book. This looks like it could be fun. I'll see it.


Same here. Enjoyed the book, hope the movie is decent too.
 
2012-02-13 10:32:07 PM  
So is it supposed to be funny or not? The concept is great if it's a comedy, farking retarded if it's not. That's why the trailer sucks.
 
2012-02-13 10:35:39 PM  
I will totally see this.
 
2012-02-13 10:46:30 PM  
I had high hopes for this. I now have low hopes. How low? I can't count that low.
 
2012-02-13 11:17:47 PM  
I think I'll pin my hopes on FDR: AMERICAN BADASS

http://youtu.be/-R898wegx6Y

Werewolves, Polio, and machine-gun wielding Wheelchairs.

/Shut the fark up, Einstein!
//Does my cawk still work?
 
2012-02-13 11:32:01 PM  
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
 
2012-02-13 11:42:52 PM  

Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher: AaronSynn: You know, this looks cool and I want to see it....

But theres a little part of me that finds it slightly distasteful...Like they shouldn't make light of a great man by turning his story into something goofy....(but cool)

Well, it wouldn't exactly have the same ring to it if it was say, Franklin Pierce. Then again, the narrative could have a bit more wiggle-room since no one has any idea who or what Franklin Pierce was. You could have him fighting zombie aliens on the moon and romancing Victorian-era hermaphrodite werewolves in the Sahara, and no one is going to give a damn.


I'm not quite sure why, but that bit made me think of:
wiki-images.enotes.com
 
2012-02-14 12:50:17 AM  
Axe melee fighting. Yes, please.
 
2012-02-14 12:52:28 AM  

odinsposse: AaronSynn: You know, this looks cool and I want to see it....

But theres a little part of me that finds it slightly distasteful...Like they shouldn't make light of a great man by turning his story into something goofy....(but cool)

Could be worse.


Or even worserer.
 
2012-02-14 12:58:46 AM  

SilentStrider: this looks intriguing.


Yeah, I think so, too. At least it's not the 6th installment of a rehashed comic book or 80s tv show.
 
2012-02-14 12:59:20 AM  

britgent: I get a real Jonah Hex feeling about this.


Agreed. In theory the movie sounds awesome, but the trailer is so full of slow motion and just plain not fully awesome that this just makes me nervous. Bubba Hotep didn't need any snow motion or explosions every five seconds, dagnabit!
 
2012-02-14 01:17:36 AM  
The Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884. This is what it looked like during Lincoln's life:

i.gettysburgdaily.com
 
2012-02-14 01:47:09 AM  

tzzhc4: The Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884. This is what it looked like during Lincoln's life:

[i.gettysburgdaily.com image 574x430]


Ummm.. I don't think they were going for historical accuracy here..
 
2012-02-14 02:02:47 AM  
Seems like a lot of vampire shows/movies are pushing towards shiny naked male leads and homoerotic themes.....John Wilkes Booth, scorned vampire love interest seeking revenge?

The best part of the book for me was that they finally applied a little reality to the immortality of vampires. They spend a few centuries indulging in everything material or sinful, then get philosophical and eventually sick of life before seeking their own death. They rarely live into a 4th or 5th century. Vampires still have human minds, and no one can really face eternity.
 
2012-02-14 03:00:42 AM  

tzzhc4: The Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884. This is what it looked like during Lincoln's life:

[i.gettysburgdaily.com image 574x430]


As clear-cut case of whiskey dick as I ever did see
 
2012-02-14 03:04:27 AM  

tzzhc4: The Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884. This is what it looked like during Lincoln's life:

[i.gettysburgdaily.com image 574x430]


You haven't read the book, have you?
 
2012-02-14 05:36:16 AM  
I'm kind of hoping for a Harriet Tubman: Fast and Furious.
 
2012-02-14 06:49:43 AM  
I hope this is done in the vein of Robocop and not Transformers.
 
2012-02-14 06:56:58 AM  

phedex: I'm kind of hoping for a Harriet Tubman: Fast and Furious.


Maybe a chick flick/drama instead? Thomas Jefferson: About Last Night.
 
2012-02-14 07:02:02 AM  
wait, that's a real trailer?
 
2012-02-14 07:07:58 AM  
Heard about the idea: "heh, this could be amusing; I like Lincoln, like the period, like vampire-slaying stuff".
Read on fark that there is a book: "hrm, have to check that out".
Saw Tim Burton was involved: "fine by me".

Saw the trailer: "Eh... all my excitement just deflated".

I'll wait for the next trailer before I decide anything; this one just didn't do it for me.
 
2012-02-14 07:20:27 AM  

RatMaster999: Whatthefark: Abraham Lincoln? Teddy Roosevelt should be the Vampire Hunter.
I heard he once killed a crocodile with nothing but his bare hands, BBQ'd it and ate it all to himself.

[readcomics.org image 434x650]

Nah, he needs tougher prey.

Teddy Roosevelt: Werewolf Hunter.


That picture seems oddly anachrostic. What is the deal? He looks 1800s-y, but then it looks like a relatively modern mobile home and chair.
 
2012-02-14 07:33:42 AM  
I hope they are getting paid well for all the advertising this movie gets on fark. What a dumb looking movie.
 
2012-02-14 08:17:49 AM  

tzzhc4: The Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884. This is what it looked like during Lincoln's life:

[i.gettysburgdaily.com image 574x430]


not if you read the book.
 
2012-02-14 08:49:00 AM  

ModernPrimitive01: I want to see True Grit with vampires.


Me too.
 
2012-02-14 09:51:26 AM  
 
2012-02-14 10:10:25 AM  

tzzhc4: The Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884. This is what it looked like during Lincoln's life:

[i.gettysburgdaily.com image 574x430]


God forbid there be historical inaccuracy in your film about Abraham Lincoln killing farking VAMPIRES.
 
2012-02-14 11:06:01 AM  

RatMaster999: Whatthefark: Abraham Lincoln? Teddy Roosevelt should be the Vampire Hunter.
I heard he once killed a crocodile with nothing but his bare hands, BBQ'd it and ate it all to himself.

[readcomics.org image 434x650]

Nah, he needs tougher prey and a tougher gig:

Teddy Roosevelt: Werewolf Hunter Rapist.


FTFY
 
2012-02-14 11:25:51 AM  

Gunther: toddalmighty: With regards to the trailer...the Washington Monument wasn't completed until 1884.

Fortunately, that's the only historical inaccuracy in the film. Everything else happened EXACTLY as depicted.

/why is this being directed by some Russian dude?
//would they let an american direct Joseph Stalin: Ninja Exterminator?


I can't really say anything without giving spoilers, but if it follows the book, it fits.
 
2012-02-14 11:28:29 AM  
I don't care that this doesn't have the same tone as the book, I will still pony up the dough to see this. The exploding tree made me laugh, it's sure to either be complete greatness, or Snakes on a Plane level bad. Either way, I'm entertained.
 
2012-02-14 11:32:23 AM  
I'm amazed by how many Farkers didn't realize this was a book first (by the same guy who wrote Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, no less!). Are Farkers not readers, or what?

/yeah yeah, i know, reading-is-for-fa**ots.jpg
//it was quite entertaining for what it was
 
2012-02-14 12:34:13 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: I'm amazed by how many Farkers didn't realize this was a book first (by the same guy who wrote Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, no less!). Are Farkers not readers, or what?

/yeah yeah, i know, reading-is-for-fa**ots.jpg
//it was quite entertaining for what it was


I read the book. I also read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but you're right. I don't think the majority of those posting in this thread have read the book. In fact, it's getting more and more apparent that most of them didn't know the book, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, existed in the first place.
 
2012-02-14 12:35:01 PM  

toyotaboy: wait, that's a real trailer?


Yes.
 
2012-02-14 03:03:49 PM  

Snuffybud: mekki: AaronSynn: You know, this looks cool and I want to see it....

But theres a little part of me that finds it slightly distasteful...Like they shouldn't make light of a great man by turning his story into something goofy....(but cool)

The US doesn't do sacred cows. Besides it's not the first time they have done something silly with Lincoln. Or the thousandth time. The man, for some reason, is ripe for alternative universe fiction and parody

Abe is totally sacred, nobody has ever used him out of context......

www.infamouskidd.com

Agrees.

/Party on, dudes!

 
2012-02-14 03:28:24 PM  

9beers: So what's the deal with chopping down the tree with one swing of the axe? Is he super strong or is it a magic axe or something?


He was six-foot twenty and weighed a farking ton.

/he'll save the children, but not the Rebel children.
 
2012-02-14 03:34:29 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: I read the book. I also read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but you're right. I don't think the majority of those posting in this thread have read the book. In fact, it's getting more and more apparent that most of them didn't know the book, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, existed in the first place.


Well, that would apply to me on both counts, so allow me to tell you what I see in that trailer:

A shiatty blockbuster horror/action flick with an absurd premise arbitrarily attached in a cynical attempt to garner extra attention. It looks like Priest with an even goofier and more pointless plot.

I enjoy the absurd and over-the-top, but this, from the trailer, doesn't appear to be any such thing. Maybe the trailer is entirely unrepresentative of the final product, but nothing in that makes me want to spend money any more than the next Transformers trailer will.

You can criticize people for not knowing the book, but I'll wager that applies to the vast majority of people. That tells me that either this trailer is aimed at the lowest common denominator, in which case a lot of people are going to wind up awfully pissed off when they go in expecting X-Men and get Watchmen instead, or the book really is just a garbage action tale with a stupid lead hero.

Either way, the point remains, I feel entirely justified in writing this off, at least for now, based on the trailer. It looks like crap and there's nothing in it that leads me to think I should investigate the book any further. If I'm wrong, I'd say that maybe instead of criticizing people unfamiliar with the source matieral, you should blame the filmmakers for making a shiat trailer that fails at capturing our interest.
 
2012-02-14 06:13:15 PM  
I get the feeling that this is another Snakes on a Plane, with more explosions.
 
2012-02-14 07:42:20 PM  

Splinshints: Either way, the point remains, I feel entirely justified in writing this off, at least for now, based on the trailer. It looks like crap and there's nothing in it that leads me to think I should investigate the book any further. If I'm wrong, I'd say that maybe instead of criticizing people unfamiliar with the source matieral, you should blame the filmmakers for making a shiat trailer that fails at capturing our interest.


Do you really want to have them give away key plot points and spoilers? As they are told in the story, do you want to know the truth behind the formative events in Lincoln's life, the real motivations behind slavery, the reason Lincoln entered politics, the vampiric tragedies in his life, the hidden causes of the civil war, and what happened after Lincoln's assassination? Is that what you'd like to see in a trailer, because that's what's in the book.That and some action. I'm not sure how you can show all that without spoiling the movie.
 
2012-02-14 07:57:35 PM  

Splinshints: It looks like Priest with an even goofier and more pointless plot.


Ok, I can't speak for the film, but the Priest manwha kicked ass...
 
2012-02-14 11:03:37 PM  

Thwack: Splinshints: Either way, the point remains, I feel entirely justified in writing this off, at least for now, based on the trailer. It looks like crap and there's nothing in it that leads me to think I should investigate the book any further. If I'm wrong, I'd say that maybe instead of criticizing people unfamiliar with the source matieral, you should blame the filmmakers for making a shiat trailer that fails at capturing our interest.

Do you really want to have them give away key plot points and spoilers? As they are told in the story, do you want to know the truth behind the formative events in Lincoln's life, the real motivations behind slavery, the reason Lincoln entered politics, the vampiric tragedies in his life, the hidden causes of the civil war, and what happened after Lincoln's assassination? Is that what you'd like to see in a trailer, because that's what's in the book.That and some action. I'm not sure how you can show all that without spoiling the movie.


It is possible to throw in a few "dog whistle" frames to entice those who have read the book without spoiling anything for those who haven't.
 
2012-02-15 01:44:51 AM  
Certainly looks much more entertaining than Ted Kennedy: Teacher Killer.
 
2012-02-15 04:03:07 AM  
James K. Polk : Zombie Slayer

/Slaves on a Plane?
 
2012-02-15 09:22:18 AM  

Doctor Jan Itor: James K. Polk : Zombie Slayer

/Slaves on a Plane?


I've had it with these monkey fighting slaves on this monday to friday plane.

/strap in
//bout to open some freakin windows.
 
2012-02-15 11:07:00 AM  

Thwack: I'm not sure how you can show all that without spoiling the movie.


That's kind of the whole point of a trailer. You give people an idea of the movie so they're interested. Which is why when I see a trailer that primarily features people battling in hyper-stylized fight scenes and a train blowing up I'm given the idea that it's just a garbage summer blockbuster action movie. The only thing that's missing from that craptacular trailer is Will Smith playing Abraham Lincoln.

Maybe other trailers will show more, but, I'm sorry, I don't get why people are drooling over this. It just looks like Michael Bay recreated Ken Burns' "The Civil War" to me.
 
2012-02-15 05:24:03 PM  

Doctor Jan Itor: James K. Polk : Zombie Slayer

/Slaves on a Plane?


Napoleon of the stump. The vampire beheading stump.

Would explain why he sought no second term.
 
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