z3for2: Put someone's door number on the note that isn't yours. Then get two a-holes mad at each other and sit back and watch

If you do this, and one a-hole murders the other, are you responsible in any way?

steamingpile: Diogenes: I'm definitely noticing a strong correlation between people who communicate through signs and poor language and spelling skills.

Usually uncontrolled anger or sometimes stupidity.

The GF got pissed at some of our neighbors who moved in but then proceeded to park in their yards like farking white trash and it pissed her off, since she is not prone to confrontations and is pretty tiny she just got little girly type stationary and wrote out notes pointing out how people that can afford a $300K+ house in georgia should not leave their yard looking like a site location for Deliverance. Either their cars got moved or they hired contractors to come pave wider driveways.

That was none of her business.

Have a neighbor that because they do not work have decided that they like to party during the middle of the week in the summer. I on the other hand get up around 4 am in order to go to work. I have guitars amps, and 1 heck of a PA system. Sooo I waited until they decided to party until almost 4 in the morning. Hooking my laptop to the PA system at 5 am they were woken up with the sounds of multiple Polkas for about 30 minutes. followed by classical music you know the Quaker oats music and flight of the valkyries. Turned it off for an hour so they could get back to sleep, then started it back up again. Have had no problem since.

Zafler: Magorn: Years ago I was at an extremely crowded shopping mall during Christmas, and realized on of the resons I had such trouble parking was that some had parked thier Jag so it took up FOUR spaces, he'd parked over the line intersecting the four speces so he took up exactly on quarter of each.

So I did what any right-thinking American would do: Grabbed a dark blue windbreaker from my car and pretended to be mall security and waved the next four cars I saw into those spaces "Yes man'am it will be alright. The car? Oh dealer left it here from last night's car show, he's not going to be able to pick it up till tomorrow, yeah it's okay to park here I promise."

I fully approve. Usually when I see some jerk that has parked across 2 parking spaces, I'll pull in with my passenger door an inch or 2 off their driver side mirror. I drive a fairly small car, so I can usually fit even with them partway over. For some reason a lot of these people leave more room on the driver side of their car than on the passenger side. I'm rather surprised I haven't been keyed yet to be honest.

Someone used to take my space that didn't live in the building, and I used to back my winter beater truck within a couple inches of their driver door. Key the eighty nine ram all Ya want.

Zafler: Nexzus: Also

Also what!? I'm dieing of suspense here. Hate when people accidentally the whole post.

Heh. I was going to put the name of an open SSID on an old, uconnected router I use for passive aggressive purposes.

My building is about 90% Asian. Most are FOB who've brought all their disgusting habits with them, but even some of the CBCs still do stuff to piss me off. That SSID is "I Hate <The Sound that metal on metal makes>s".

/Not racist unless you piss me off.

Znuh: And for those who are perpetually annoyed by bad parkers:

The $68 Wheel Dolly.

Four of these will move just about anything (These are rated at 1500lbs per corner).

Place around the wheel, jack it up. Move on to the other three and do the same.

We had one person who'd purposely park badly and in other people's assigned spots in our garage.

Used to just push move the car with these into a series of surprisingly random and difficult places to drive out of.

Those are also useful when you wish to hide your recently clamped car from parking NAZIS

long live wheely dolly man

Another CSB about signs:

I work with relatively expensive apartment buildings. The kind of places where a 1 bedroom apartment is closing in on $3000 per month in rent, unfurnished on a year lease, utilities not included. Very nice buildings, very nice apartments in downtown Arlington just across the river from DC.

So I do furnished housing in that same building and some company decides they want to house a couple of their new hires in my fancy furnished apartments while they're here training or something. Young professionals, just out of college and in their mid-twenties.

So I get a call from the community manager a week or two after we moved them in. Apparently one of the guys decided to tape up fliers in the elevators of this high-end apartment building (you know, in the place where they put the daily weather forecast in buildings like this) that said something along the lines of, "Are you bi-curious? Well so am I! I've never messed around with a guy, but I've always wanted to. Blah blah blah - life's story - blah blah... Here's my picture, I hope you think I'm sexy. So come on over to apartment #322 and we'll explore our sexuality together."

So I had to call him and ask him to keep that shiat to Craigslist or something and to stop posting fliers in the elevators, only management is allowed to post fliers there, and even if they weren't it's still an inappropriate place for solicitations like that. Sooooo awkward needing to explain that shiat to a grown man.

Detinwolf: My neighbors have band practice in their apartment.

One day that apartment will be on fire, you wait.

Must be a really bad band or they keep odd rehearsal times to make you consider arson.

Even though all of our neighbors were cool and were friends of ours, we always rented out a rehearsal space when I lived in apartments in college. To me, that's the responsible thing to do. And if it's a working band, there should be plenty of money for that kind of expense. It's usually really cheap and always ended up costing us less than transportation, hotel & food when we'd travel out of town to play.

LincolnLogolas: I have left and been left plenty of notes during my 5 years living in an apartment. Usually the notes I have left involved me sticking notes on the washer/dryer I was using because people would always open the washer/dryer to see if it was empty (despite the fact that it's moving and making noise). Sometimes they'd just close the lid, and not push "start" again, so my laundry would be soapy and/or soaking wet when I got to it, or they'd get impatient and remove my laundry while it was still soapy/wet so they could use the washer/dryer. Usually my notes read something like "Yes, this washer/dryer is in use. If you're going to open it, please push 'START' once you close the lid. Please do not remove my garments, particularly my underwear, from the washer/dryer, as I am in the midst of a horrible herpes and genital wart outbreak, and would not wish to contaminate you."

The notes that got left for me on my door were always from two downstairs neighbors I had for two years, in response to the police showing up at their door at LEAST once a week in response to them throwing a party, again, at 1am on a Thursday night. Usually to the tune of "DEAR ASSHOLE NEIGHBOR: LET ME KNOW IF WE ARE BEING TOO LOUD. STOP CALLING THE FARKING POLICE ON US!!!"

Problem with that was they didn't acknowledge the universal stomping on the floor/ceiling to mean "STFU", but instead took it to mean "We should be louder so we can't hear the stomping anymore", and I got tired of pounding on their door at 2am EVERY week. They finally got evicted after the police showed up one evening when they had 40 people in their 2bdr apartment. They pissed on my door the day they moved out.

Same thing happened to an ex-worker of mine but the main difference was that it was a condo building in NYC. That made thing a whole lot harder but eventually the building association took the guy to court, got a favorable ruling and the asshole was forced to sell in a really crappy market (09 I think). I think the idiot lost 200-300k but they were in and out of court for about a year until they got the ruling.

alowishus: That was none of her business.

Actually it was since our HOA forbids it and we could have just forced the issue and gotten them a $200 fine, this was the nice way out and it seemed to work, besides people that park on their smallish yards do appear to be white trash, I should know, plenty in my dads side are white trash and it leads to shiatty yards instead of the manicured sod that was initially installed.

mongbiohazard: So I had to call him and ask him to keep that shiat to Craigslist or something and to stop posting fliers in the elevators, only management is allowed to post fliers there, and even if they weren't it's still an inappropriate place for solicitations like that. Sooooo awkward needing to explain that shiat to a grown man.

Yeah, but at least the gay sex is a good relaxant after the confrontation, right?

9beers: wallywam1: 9beers: meanmutton: You do realize that you're the asshole in that story, right?

When the laundry room closes at 10pm and people are bouncing shiat around in the dryer at 1am, I'm the asshole? Yeah, no.

Next time you tell the story, remember the part about the laundry room being closed. That's important.

I said "after hours".

While you did say that, "after hours" can mean a lot of different things, after closing, after I am done for the day, or after I have put all my ballsack mutilation devices away, so you can understand the confusion.

/i too, was fooled

My personal fave

4NTLRZ: Must be a really bad band or they keep odd rehearsal times to make you consider arson.

Yeah, band rehearsals are shiat and annoy anyone trying to live normally around you, especially in an apartment building.

It would basically force people out of their own home for a few hours every time they wanted to rehearse so fark that shiat.

steamingpile: alowishus: That was none of her business.

Actually it was since our HOA forbids it and we could have just forced the issue and gotten them a $200 fine, this was the nice way out and it seemed to work, besides people that park on their smallish yards do appear to be white trash, I should know, plenty in my dads side are white trash and it leads to shiatty yards instead of the manicured sod that was initially installed.

Periods: not just for women anymore.
/now available in men's, women's kids', and farkers' sizes.

LincolnLogolas: ...They finally got evicted after the police showed up one evening when they had 40 people in their 2bdr apartment. They pissed on my door the day they moved out.

we had neighbors that partied till 4 a couple times a week, every week. We called them, told them to shut up. It wouldn't work, so we called the landlord. Then they shut up for a month. after a while they kept making noise, we called the landlord and sent her a letter describing our problems (at landlord's request, to build up an eviction case).

Then they evicted them.

then the next tenant moved in downstairs, and he's a drummer. (however, he's actually cool and only plays during the day, so it doesn't bother me -- but at first I was scared we'd evicted one problem for a bigger problem).

moral of the story: contact your landlord, you have a right as a tenant of a residential property not to be disturbed by other tenants, and it's the landlord's responsibility to fix the problem. (this is the case in my state, and my state is very lessor friendly... as lessees we practically don't even exist, we can't even withhold rent to demand repairs... although, i did it once anyways, even though it was not legally supported... whoops... oh well, got my roof fixed. end of ITG-vigilante, taking the law into my own hands rant)

My mom had surgery last Tuesday morning at 7:30 am. I drove an hour to meet her and dad at the hospital around 6:00. We had a light dusting of snow overnight and into the morning so the lines in the parking lot were covered. I got a great spot since no one is there that early but didn't get the car into the space just right. I finally left the hospital at 7:00 pm that day only to discover a note on the car that seemed to describe me to a T. "People who park like this are inconsiderate assholes." No marks on the Lexus and too exhausted to be offended, I remembered to speed home, pass cars on the right, keep the highbeams on, keep the right turn signal blinking until I got home. Give as good as you get.

BurnShrike: mongbiohazard: So I had to call him and ask him to keep that shiat to Craigslist or something and to stop posting fliers in the elevators, only management is allowed to post fliers there, and even if they weren't it's still an inappropriate place for solicitations like that. Sooooo awkward needing to explain that shiat to a grown man.

Yeah, but at least the gay sex is a good relaxant after the confrontation, right?


Phhhhh, as if. I thought I mentioned he was a newb... I prefer my gay sexxxing from a pro, someone who really knows what he's doing... You know, like George Michaels or Marcus Bachmann.

When I was in the Army we had to watch our clothes like a hawk. If we didn't, someone, usually the blacks, (we had proof) would steal our clothes. Even the skivies. One time I was washing clothes and had to take a leak. I went to the bathroom which wasw right next to the laundry room. In the minute it took to piss, some asshat had taken my clothes out of the dryer and tossed them on the sorting table. Wet.

I took the stuff they put in the dryer in place of my clothes and tossed them out of the window. 3rd story.

Another thing we would do is when someone would take our stuff out of the dryer, we would take the dregs out of the used up can of Kiwi we kept for such occasions and break the chunks up into the dryer with their clothes. It makes a real mess out of their clothes and does not hurt the dryer as long as you don't put too much in.

pute kisses like a man: LincolnLogolas: ...They finally got evicted after the police showed up one evening when they had 40 people in their 2bdr apartment. They pissed on my door the day they moved out.

we had neighbors that partied till 4 a couple times a week, every week. We called them, told them to shut up. It wouldn't work, so we called the landlord. Then they shut up for a month. after a while they kept making noise, we called the landlord and sent her a letter describing our problems (at landlord's request, to build up an eviction case).

Then they evicted them.

then the next tenant moved in downstairs, and he's a drummer. (however, he's actually cool and only plays during the day, so it doesn't bother me -- but at first I was scared we'd evicted one problem for a bigger problem).

moral of the story: contact your landlord, you have a right as a tenant of a residential property not to be disturbed by other tenants, and it's the landlord's responsibility to fix the problem. (this is the case in my state, and my state is very lessor friendly... as lessees we practically don't even exist, we can't even withhold rent to demand repairs... although, i did it once anyways, even though it was not legally supported... whoops... oh well, got my roof fixed. end of ITG-vigilante, taking the law into my own hands rant)

Oh, we contacted the manager regularly. Until we threatened legal action, they didn't want to bother actually doing anything about it. Funny that you got a drummer neighbor after that. We got a metal guitarist after those jerks, but he kept the volume down and wasn't loud at unreasonable hours, so we didn't mind him.

CSB: We thought we had the dog crap in the yard issue covered and corrected until a 2 years ago when I discovered a fresh pile in the front yard. I was furious, I ran in and asked if anyone saw who let their dog take a dump in the yard? My two year old was the only respondant "I did it daddy"...yes she had done it! No neighbors ever seemed to snicker uncontrollaby when they saw me so maybe there were no witnesses.

I still laugh about that one.

Grables'Daughter: Most of my neighbors don't like me because they think I'm a hussy.

So I try to play the part by mowing mow the lawn in my bikini.



FTFY

Madbassist1: This thread delivers, but there is a BUNCH of bullshiat in here as well. People spend so much time on the Internet that when they spin these tales they forget that no one would behave in the manner they are describing.

Oh well. still fun.

Every bit of this.

GT_bike: CSB: We thought we had the dog crap in the yard issue covered and corrected until a 2 years ago when I discovered a fresh pile in the front yard. I was furious, I ran in and asked if anyone saw who let their dog take a dump in the yard? My two year old was the only respondant "I did it daddy"...yes she had done it! No neighbors ever seemed to snicker uncontrollaby when they saw me so maybe there were no witnesses.

I still laugh about that one.

My father had a problem with a neighbors Jack Russell that would poop in all the yards at our end of the street. He complained to the neighbor, but either they wouldn't or couldn't keep the thing in their yard. He tried chasing it away, but it would always come back.

He spotted the thing doing his business one afternoon, and since he was reasonably sure there were no witnesses, he shot the thing in the ass with a pellet gun in the middle of his afternoon constitutional. It jumped up in the air higher than any dog I've ever seen. it would still come down to our end of the street to poop, but never again in our yard.

/pretty sure the statue of limitations is up by now.

Madbassist1: Awwww she wouldnt fark you either, eh?

Well, I should hope not.

I never asked, anyway. The opportunity there, however, could not be passed up. If it wasn't me it would have been someone else.

lwpengy: Have a neighbor that because they do not work have decided that they like to party during the middle of the week in the summer. I on the other hand get up around 4 am in order to go to work. I have guitars amps, and 1 heck of a PA system. Sooo I waited until they decided to party until almost 4 in the morning. Hooking my laptop to the PA system at 5 am they were woken up with the sounds of multiple Polkas for about 30 minutes. followed by classical music you know the Quaker oats music and flight of the valkyries. Turned it off for an hour so they could get back to sleep, then started it back up again. Have had no problem since.

My mother did something similar to her dorm neighbors. Back in the late 60s my mom's neighbors would blast mo-town and rock music up really loud, even during quiet hours so my mother went home and picked up a record from my grandparent's house containing this hit single. My mom at the time had a record player that would just repeat whatever record was on the turn table rather than shutting off so my mom and her roommate would place the record player up against the vent they shared with these other girls and just play it at the loudest volume while they went to class or out for meals or work. After 3 days of it their neighbors turned the volume down.

foxtail: When I was in the Army we had to watch our clothes like a hawk. If we didn't, someone, usually the blacks, (we had proof) would steal our clothes. Even the skivies. One time I was washing clothes and had to take a leak. I went to the bathroom which wasw right next to the laundry room. In the minute it took to piss, some asshat had taken my clothes out of the dryer and tossed them on the sorting table. Wet.

I took the stuff they put in the dryer in place of my clothes and tossed them out of the window. 3rd story.

Another thing we would do is when someone would take our stuff out of the dryer, we would take the dregs out of the used up can of Kiwi we kept for such occasions and break the chunks up into the dryer with their clothes. It makes a real mess out of their clothes and does not hurt the dryer as long as you don't put too much in.

Someone stole a pair of my drawers, printed boxers, out of the wash but nothing else. We also had someone who was going around shiatting in the wash machines! I hated the barracks I was never there.

Apartment living. Sooooo glad I got out of that BS.

Ran three sets of downstairs neighbors out. One set was a meth-maker. Got strange smells one weekend and called the landlord. 24 hour inspection notice later... no problems. But I called the cops the next weekend when I caught them moving in chemicals in 5 gallon buckets. They were gone that day (presumably imprisoned, never seen again.) They had a newborn child living (dying?) with them. It was terrible. Had to move out for weeks while the joint got remodeled (read, painted over the bad stuff.) Next set were decent people for the most part and were there for almost half a year, but got scared and moved out the weekend after I hammered on their door for their stereo being too loud. Of course, they didn't hear me knocking politely and gradually increasing the knocking for several minutes... because their goddamned stereo was so loud I couldn't hear my TV at full volume. I had called he landlord, but he couldn't hear me over the phone because of the noise downstairs (lol.) Final douchebags were fond of playing movies at ear-splitting volume... at 2am when the husband got home from work. I had to be up at 5:45, and got home from job#3 at 11:30. Don't even get me started on the copious amount of cat piss in the common hallway of our supposedly pet-free dwelling which I overlooked because our across-the-hall neighbors were decent, quiet, friendly people (and had at least one cat.)

/csb
/fark communal living

Spektyr: Apartment living. Sooooo glad I got out of that BS.

Hopefully you have good neighbors now, because apartments don't exactly corner the market on asshole neighbors. When we bought our first house, there was still a bunch of junk in the garage from the previous owner. Nothing gross, just random stuff like an old dryer shell and other random stuff. We borrowed a truck-bed trailer from a friend and chucked all the shiat in our truck and the trailer, and put a tarp over the trailer. It remained parked in our driveway from Wednesday until Saturday, when we planned to take it to the dump and unload it all.

The Friday before we left, we found a lovely note from some anonymous neighbor "ordering" us to remove the unsightly trailer, lest she report us to the HOA. It pissed me off that when we took the trailer to the dump, the neighbor probably gloated that it was all because of her biatchy note.

Next-door neighbor in my dorm knocked on my door last year to ask me to stop screaming profanities for hours on end. I explained I was playing CoD: Black Ops and what a terrible game it was. He asked me "why do you play a game that makes you so angry?" Didn't really have an answer for that.

Nexzus: My building is about 90% Asian. Most are FOB who've brought all their disgusting habits with them, but even some of the CBCs still do stuff to piss me off. That SSID is "I Hate <The Sound that metal on metal makes>s".


I hate clangs?

the_vicious_fez: steamingpile: alowishus: That was none of her business.

Actually it was since our HOA forbids it and we could have just forced the issue and gotten them a $200 fine, this was the nice way out and it seemed to work, besides people that park on their smallish yards do appear to be white trash, I should know, plenty in my dads side are white trash and it leads to shiatty yards instead of the manicured sod that was initially installed.

Periods: not just for women anymore.
/now available in men's, women's kids', and farkers' sizes.

I never knew how much white trash we had here on fark, if you park a car in your yard then you are farking low rent. The only exception is if you own 10 acres and no one else can see your camaro on blocks, we here in the city has these things called driveways, you may call it white grass but its very handy to park these here cars on without ruining your pretty green grass. Wait, white trash just has weeds and dirt in their yard so they have no clue what grass is supposed to look like......

steamingpile: the_vicious_fez: steamingpile: alowishus: That was none of her business.

Actually it was since our HOA forbids it and we could have just forced the issue and gotten them a $200 fine, this was the nice way out and it seemed to work, besides people that park on their smallish yards do appear to be white trash, I should know, plenty in my dads side are white trash and it leads to shiatty yards instead of the manicured sod that was initially installed.

Periods: not just for women anymore.
/now available in men's, women's kids', and farkers' sizes.

I never knew how much white trash we had here on fark, if you park a car in your yard then you are farking low rent. The only exception is if you own 10 acres and no one else can see your camaro on blocks, we here in the city has these things called driveways, you may call it white grass but its very handy to park these here cars on without ruining your pretty green grass. Wait, white trash just has weeds and dirt in their yard so they have no clue what grass is supposed to look like......

My point was that your last post was one long sentence when it should have been more like five. I was encouraging the use of extra punctuation.

I put this on my door a few years back.


It reads like this (Sorry for the low resolution. I grabbed it off of Facebook):

About This Apartment:

It is not a Banking or Lending Institution
It is not a free Technical Support Center
It is not a Counseling or Therapy Clinic
It is not a Bar of any kind

This is an Office and Home. Please respect the privacy of the occupant within the hours that have been requested:

Do Not Call or Knock Between The Hours of 9pm and 9am

For those of you that don't understand the concept:

If it's after 8:49 at night or before 8:49 in the morning and you disturb me... I will punch you in the nose.

FlipChurn: My mom had surgery last Tuesday morning at 7:30 am. I drove an hour to meet her and dad at the hospital around 6:00. We had a light dusting of snow overnight and into the morning so the lines in the parking lot were covered. I got a great spot since no one is there that early but didn't get the car into the space just right. I finally left the hospital at 7:00 pm that day only to discover a note on the car that seemed to describe me to a T. "People who park like this are inconsiderate assholes." No marks on the Lexus and too exhausted to be offended, I remembered to speed home, pass cars on the right, keep the highbeams on, keep the right turn signal blinking until I got home. Give as good as you get.

I kind of love you now.

Visiting Adelaide where the crazy cat lady is NOT farking around...

KatjaMouse:
My mother did something similar to her dorm neighbors. Back in the late 60s my mom's neighbors would blast mo-town and rock music up really loud, even during quiet hours so my mother went home and picked up a record from my grandparent's house containing this hit single. My mom at the time had a record player that would just repeat whatever record was on the turn table rather than shutting off so my mom and her roommate would place the record player up against the vent they shared with these other girls and just play it at the loudest volume while they went to class or out for meals or work. After 3 days of it their neighbors turned the volume down.

Oh that did make me laugh, but now I have the worst ear-worm ever. I don't know how it took three days for the neighbours to get the message, I couldn't last through three minutes of that.

patagoniantoothfish: [s1-05.twitpicproxy.com image 600x450]

Visiting Adelaide where the crazy cat lady is NOT farking around...

If I remember correctly Adelaide has the highest rate of serial killers of just about anywhere. I have some serious concerns about what is in the drinking water over there.

It's striking how many of these notes are about dogs. Evidently many people with dogs think it's OK to inflict their dogs (poop and barking) upon others.

Particularly striking was the note from the dog-fellow in Berkeley who was offended and angry that his neighbor would speak harshly to him about his dogs regularly pooping on the neighbor's yard. The cheek of some people? How dare he complain about my dogs sh*tting on his yard? Who does he think he is? What gives him the right to be angry about my dogs pooping on his yard??? He'd better not speak to me harshly about my dogs sh*tting on his yard ever again, by gum!

Wow

In college, our parking situation was awful. But I paid to have the spot right next to my house in the attached driveway. Almost every Friday or Saturday night someone would park in the driveway and go to the bars down the street. Unfortunately for them, I was not the kind of asshat that would tow their car (that would be too nice, and most of the kids had enough money where that wouldn't bother them). I would park them in where they couldn't get out. Since pretty much everything I needed was within walking distance, I would leave my car there until they were begging to get theirs out. It was a fun and asshole way to get back, but I particularly enjoyed it.

Also.

On one particular occasion, I had a person that had parked and gone through this process several times and didn't get the picture. He parked in the driveway again, and I blocked him in. Every couple of days, I called the cops and told them that he was parked there illegally. They would of course come and ticket him. After 5 tickets and nothing to prove that I had kept him there (for some reason the idiot wouldn't take pictures cause I very easily could have been bitten back by this) I let him get is car back. STAY OFF MY DRIVEWAY!

LordOfCheese:

That's wonderful! I'm just sorry it's so far down in the thread that not many have seen it.

Saw this in Georgia. I don't want to think about why it was necessary.