tjsands1118: Jeez, what a farking nanny state!

Do all you people biatching about how awkward having to tell your coworkers they need to cut back on the toilet water is, have any idea how farking awkward it would be to have to report it or be fined for it?

Anything that is a little uncomfortable to talk about should be handled by the government right? Fark you.

Yeah, Jesus, how dare the government tell government employees what they can and cannot do in the workplace!

/you sound unemployable.

Here's the thought process that I always imagine goes through my sister-in-law's head:

Sprays on a bit too much perfume one day

Someone who isn't close enough to hug her notices it and snarkily says "nice perfume" (remember, we shouldn't be able to smell it if we aren't right on top of you

Next day she remembers that "people like my perfume" so she sprays more

Even more comments

More perfume

Continue indefinitely

RosettaStone: why spoon when we can fork: Why do women put on make-up and wear perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink!

Old news. SRSLY. Scents have been banned in most Canuck workplaces for a decade, eh.

Yea, but you Canadians don't have to deal with the "don't tread on me/keep gov't out of my medicare" wackos that we have down here in the States.

Well, the thing we have down here is that people seem to think that having your boss come up to you and tell you to tone it down a notch, is imposing on your "freedoms."

And hey, fellow Americans: when did we go from being free, to having "freedoms"? Is there a list of government-approved "freedoms" that we have to send military off to Afghanistan to earn for us, or something?

Anyway, it's funny how it works down here, and I'm sure it's similar but different down there. If you show up for work, happen to be black, and decide to act like a really negative stereotype, and I'm your boss, I suppose I could come up to you and ask you to tone it down a notch...and hope you don't take offense and file a complaint. Ditto if you're a walking definition of "flaming gay" and I have to tell you your behavior is distracting others.

One of the things that keeps me coming back to Fark is that the Fark Independents are against laws protecting people from those discriminations...but if the employer decides to ban popcorn, cigarettes, or excessive perfume, well, the Fark Independents are against that, too. Because, you know, laws protecting people from discrimination are bad. But employers deciding what their employees can and cannot do while on the job, that's just wrong!

And don't get me started on the people who want to do away with Affirmative Action, do away with laws forbidding discrimination based on biological differences, but want laws to respect their bad decisions.

Thunderpipes: Kids can't even have a PB&J anymore because of farking weak kids. Now perfume. What is next?

Meh. Peanut allergies are fairly quickly fatal, easily avoided, and it seems a shame to restrict kids from other kids simply because you want to send your kids to school with a shiatty lunch. Here's an idea: pony up for the school lunch, and if you pack a lunch because your kids hate the school lunch, tell them to stop being pussies and eat what everyone else is eating. Your crotch fruit doesn't have to have a PB&J, and won't be scarred for life by having to eat the Tuna Surprise. Problem solved.

Babwa Wawa: MadAzza: I don't wear cologne or perfume at work (or elsewhere, usually), but the guy who sits next to me, reeking of stale cigarette smoke, can DIAF. Or I could live with it, because in the grand scheme of things, it's really not that big of a deal. However, I will rip the nastiest farts in his vicinity whenever I can.

I think it's awesome you can tune how nasty your farts are on the fly. CAn you teach me? Is there a book or something?

The truth is, they're *all* pretty nasty. So I just wait until one builds up, then walk past his desk for some made-up reason, and ... *POOT*

Goimir: MadAzza:

Actually, I've smoked for almost 15 years. Certain perfumes do bother me. It's probably one in three that do, and whatever it is is more prevalent in the lower end market than the higher end.

I like how because I'm not "allergic to everything" I'm a troll. Just like I was a whiner when I could drink milk but not eat onions, because lactose intolerance is common.

But you don't realize that your reek is just as obnoxious to others as their perfume or whatever is to you? That's typical, I guess. It's always someone else.

what_now: LADIES:

A light spray on the wrists and a one spray on the neck.

OR

A Bath and Body Works lotion.

NOT BOTH!!!!

The fundamental problem of fragrances nowadays is just that: they're in everything in overpowering amounts. No wonder people develop allergies when your soap, fabric softener, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and deodorant, not to mention the air in every public space you pass through, are scented to the max.

We had to switch to unscented laundry stuff due to allergies, and I'm not really clear now on why anyone ever started adding scent to laundry soap in the first place.

\Whatever the base is in flowery perfumes/scented candles/air fresheners has always given me a headache. I bought a different vacuum filter once only to discover it was scented with that stuff. Three seconds running the vacuum and I was gassed out of the house. Why does a vacuum filter need fragrance?

MadAzza: Goimir: MadAzza:

Actually, I've smoked for almost 15 years. Certain perfumes do bother me. It's probably one in three that do, and whatever it is is more prevalent in the lower end market than the higher end.

I like how because I'm not "allergic to everything" I'm a troll. Just like I was a whiner when I could drink milk but not eat onions, because lactose intolerance is common.

But you don't realize that your reek is just as obnoxious to others as their perfume or whatever is to you? That's typical, I guess. It's always someone else.

Washing your hands and chewing a bit of gum after a smoke does wonders to cut down on the smell. I go for breaks several times a day and often am in project meetings with the same people again and again. I've had it happen twice now at clients where people I've worked with for months catch me out on break and express shock that I'm a smoker.

I used to work with a chick who BATHED in body spray. She wouldn't believe it when people told her she was gassing everyone out. She was also a smoker. One day she went outside, lit up, and the fumes from the spray actually caught fire. She wasn't hurt, but the fireball was impressive. She cut back on the spray after that.

/can't make this stuff up
//CSB

foo monkey: While they're at it, ban microwave popcorn.

I work for a company that was borged by a larger company a few years back (before my time). The old-timers tell me that it was a fireable offense to pop microwave popcorn back then.

spidermilk: The very worst smelling people are those who work at McDonalds. It isn't them, it is the frying smell and stuff.

Or pretty much any fastfood or greasyspoon type place.

As a teen my husband worked as a dishwasher in a couple of restaurants and my MIL would immediately make him throw his clothes in the washer and go take a shower.

I have to admit he smells pretty bad after he comes home from work sometimes now too. He works for the railroad on a machine and track, and it's usually a mix of creosote, hydraulic fluid, sweat, and various other chemicals. Creosote is the worst, and is also nearly impossible to get off of anything it comes into contact with. Even after I wash his work clothes there's still a lingering chemical smell from that and hydraulic fluid, and you can't mix them with any other clothes because it will transfer.
I'd definitely rather smell perfume than that shiat in large amounts. If you've ever smelled Neutrogina T-gel you know what I'm talking about, since that has coal tar in it. If you haven't, take a whiff from a bottle at the store. That shiat is pungent. I have psoriasis so I sometimes have to use it on my scalp, and the smell nearly knocks me out in the shower. And god forbid you get it in your eyes cuz that shiat BURNS way worse than regular shampoo.

Fish should NEVER be microwaved in the office.

I just walked a block to a cafe and bought some coffee, and walked back.

I could smell what the woman who walked past me in the store(3 feet away) was wearing when I took off my jacket.

That's offensive to me. She made me carry her scent. Like a dog. What a biatch.

Spiralmonkey: I work with some Indians who do bathe, but the deodorant etc., is some sort of traditional herbal stuff, and it STINKS. I don't know, but I might prefer the B.O. to the cumin-turmeric-what-the-fack-is-that toiletries.

It's patchouli, turmeric and sandlewood mostly. With other herbs thrown in. And yes it smells terrible to anyone that didn't grow up with it.

A lot of people seem to think Indians smell weird because of their diet, but I've spent a lot of time eating indian foods and never have, so I think it's the soaps and stuff. Other than some of the ones that have bad BO due to not washing and probably have garlic, spices and onion smells seeping from their pores (I'll admit if I eat a lot of onion my sweat sometimes smells like it...mostly just on my palms, but it's nasty either way so I avoid overly oniony stuff), it's more likely their weird hygiene items. A lot of them also burn massive amounts of horrible smelling incense in their homes, which infiltrates all the items within, so that doesn't help.

Also, scents all come in varying strengths. Experiment first -- and always err to the side of too little.
Usually, but not always, the general guide is: (in decreasing levels of strength)
Perfume/Cologne
Eau de Toilette
Eau de Cologne
Aftershave or "Splash"

Where you might be able to use a small splash of aftershave, or perhaps a 1/2 spray of an EdT, a tiny dab of Perfume will do. (The manufacturer WANTS you to buy more, and doesn't have to put up with your smell. You don't HAVE to use a full generous pump of the dispersion device.)

Remember -- no one should be able to smell your perfume or cologne except for you and someone who is in intimate raneg of you. Not the person across from you on the bus, not your co-worker in the next cube, and no one should ever be able to determine that you walked down the hallway a few minutes previously.

//Wearing Crabtree and Evelyn "Sienna (new window)". Nice leather, tea, coffee, citrus. But at work no one smells it but me.
//please ban Axe -- do teenaged girls think teenaged boys who have marinated in Axe smell good?

Decades later, I still remember the stench of a girl who used to wait at my bus stop in jr. high. Standing downwind of her made me gag, I swear she spent the evening marinating in cheap perfume.

Spiralmonkey: The funky turmeric-smelling stuff only seems to be used by those who actually come from India.

Yup. I went to school with a few indian kids and they used the same stuff as all of us. It was their parents and other relatives born in india that use the weird imported from india stuff. And I imagine their parents and probably think us westerners smell really weird too.

CSB again, from the Tales of Duty Free:

Yeah, I have my fair share of Indians coming into the shop. Other than being belligerent like most of my customers who pass by giant signs they don't bother reading or having undecipherable accents, I too run into the problem of the Stinky Indian. One night, well, that was the night of the really, really stinky one. I swear to God I felt bad for the others that were in the shop even as dead as it was because that particular funk just transpired for a good 30 minutes. Not even the extra-stank Perry Ellis next to the till could help musk it in the air, and in hindsight, made it worse. Like Bigfoot's peen, but with the hint of cheap perfume.

Also, I've managed the popcorn thing with a bag in our new microwave in the warehouse with it in the micro for only two minutes (and this wasn't one of those mini-bags, either). Oops.

MythDragon: I had a soldier once that apparently didn't like to shower after PT. Or before. I got complaints from other soldiers who had to stand next to him in formation. On top of his BO, he liked to douse himself in Joop. (Which I think was originally synthesized from yeast infected wolf pussy. Jesus Christ I hate that stuff)

I had to have the "You need to shower" talk with him. Then I had to have the "You need to stand under the faucet when showering" talk. Then the "And use some kind of soap" talk.

Holy Fark, what is it about becoming a private that makes you 6 years old again? You drive yourself to school, you have a job, some of you even live on your own. But you join the Army, and suddenly lose all capability of talking care of yourself?

You shouldn't have a smell cloud that wafts out 20 feet in front of you when you walk. In why in God's name do people feel the need to slather that shiat on when you work in a back officer or call center when you never even see actual customers?

My husband worked in a coed basic training facility. The female soldiers-in-training were the worst offenders of that behavior.