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(Something Awful)   More fun with Scientology. Added bonus: Scientology fan fiction   (somethingawful.com) divider line 49
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4236 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2001 at 10:56 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2001-11-09 10:57:16 AM
God I love SA......I always thought Hogan's Heroes and McNale's Navy had odd subplots to them.
 
2001-11-09 11:05:30 AM
This is funny stuff.

When is he going to get Leonard J. Crabs to lawyer the fark out of them?
 
2001-11-09 11:08:42 AM
Dum dum DAAA
(scary musical effects)
 
2001-11-09 11:14:09 AM
Yes yes, however any self respecting internet user can find something awful by themselves
 
2001-11-09 11:20:34 AM
Scientology = suck
 
2001-11-09 11:27:48 AM
Awwww... they didn't post my pic of L Ron eating babies...
:(
 
2001-11-09 11:29:36 AM
LOL
Scientology is such a joke!
 
2001-11-09 11:39:47 AM
One things for sure, those guys have big cajones. People who mess with scientologists tend to end up with no money or in jail.

Scientology is the biggest scam since Ponzi invented the scheme.
 
2001-11-09 11:44:17 AM
Once again a link to something awful and once again I can't reach it. I dont know what it is, but something awful loads for me about 1 out of every 18342511 times
 
2001-11-09 11:47:13 AM
Same here FishBulb
 
2001-11-09 11:52:14 AM
 
2001-11-09 11:52:26 AM
Better hide your nutrition food while you're out on patrol patrol.

My new brain is EXPLOSIVE!
 
2001-11-09 11:57:46 AM
"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion." Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, 1949.

Yes, he really did say that.
 
2001-11-09 12:14:50 PM
Scientistalologoimistriology what a joke LOL
 
2001-11-09 12:17:38 PM
baaahahahahaha


"Eventually he noticed that despite the amount of drugs he took, the aliens kept coming back the next morning and doing typical Thetan stuff like spiking his coffee with gin or spiking his gin with even more gin. "
 
2001-11-09 12:55:03 PM
How about that free personality test. It requires a name and address to take the test.

What a nasty thing to do with your friends' addresses.

Scary, scary.

http://www.scientology.org/oca.htm
 
2001-11-09 01:04:11 PM
I keep waiting for Jack Chick to do a tract on Scientology. I am anticipating that more than The Lord of the Rings.
 
2001-11-09 01:13:17 PM
The only group worse than the Scientologists are the Catholics. The Scientologists are catching up though, they just need to kill more people.
 
2001-11-09 01:24:32 PM
Give me a break on the Catholic thing. That's just plain stupid! Catholicism is based on Christianity. Scientology is based on greed.
Catholicism has had some bad acts in the past, but what hasn't. Get over it.

Comments like this drive me nuts. farking stupid, no basis.
 
2001-11-09 01:27:28 PM
Scientologist - Money grubbing, mind control freaks who worship a dead guy who was a fraud in life.

Catholics - Money grubbing, mind control freaks who worship a dead guy who was a fraud in life.
 
2001-11-09 01:32:36 PM
Did anyone else see the Hitler article? The Mayan calender tells all, my friends, just check out point F.

F. 1779 Declaration of Independence Day on fourth of July. (May require slight adjustment to 1776). (572 years later)
By 1987 there were 52 states - Confederacy of the USA.

See, there are these 572 year cycles, right, but the Declaration of Independence doesn't actually fit. That's okay, just ADJUST the date "a little" and it works. Secondly, when did the US have 52 states? I was only 5 years old, so I could have missed it, but as I recall in 1987 we had 50, unless he's counting Puerto Rico and Canada.
 
2001-11-09 01:34:11 PM
I thought Scientology _was_ fan fiction...
 
2001-11-09 01:45:56 PM
Wippuh...looked for you in NOLA to no avail. Dammit. Did anyone find you?

Sorry for the lack of Scientology commentary.
Scientology is Travolting.
there...is that better?
 
2001-11-09 01:57:12 PM
I want an 'I Love Thetans' t-shirt.
 
2001-11-09 02:18:38 PM
The only group worse than the Scientologists are the Catholics

Like I said before... with the Catholic bashing. Come on now... how the hell can you compare a religion to a cult? Come on now... use your freaking head.
 
2001-11-09 02:50:36 PM
how the hell can you compare a religion to a cult?

Technically, there is little or no difference between the two. *Technically*
 
2001-11-09 02:53:02 PM
Didn't somebody the other day say that one way you can tell a cult is by how difficult it is to leave? I had no problem leaving Catholicism or religion in general (except for a little nagging from my mom.)

Besides, Some Call Me Tim's description of Scientology/Catholicism applies to all religions. But I bet he's a fundie.
 
2001-11-09 02:59:40 PM
The only difference is that religions tend to be open about their beliefs and activities.

JW is a cult.
 
2001-11-09 03:22:15 PM
Fark is a cult
 
2001-11-09 03:30:57 PM
Burrdog,
Nobody found me, but I wish they would have. I ended up drinking a wee bit too much Friday night and puking all over Bourban Street and in the middle of the hood (we got lost on the way out of the quarter). It was a pretty Friday night. If some farkers had found me I would have shared the booze and maybe prolonged my non puke state.
Had a great time at the shows though! They rocked. Wish I would have made it to Chicago for Halloween, but I had to sell my tickets down there.
 
2001-11-09 03:36:10 PM
Feffer: I agree that my statements apply to all religions, I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I was just naming two that IMHO are the worst.

fundie??? As in christian fundamentalist? Hehe you obviously didn't read (or didn't understand) my post. The "dead guy who was a fraud in life" I was refering to (as it applies to Catholics) is good 'ole JC (Jesus Christ).

It is my opinion that ALL religions are BAD. The only purpose they serve is to control the masses. I am an atheist and an anarchist.
 
2001-11-09 03:40:47 PM
Yeah, so is ChumbaWumba.
 
2001-11-09 03:42:06 PM
Must be hard conforming to these logins and whatever computer technology THE MAN has set you down with Tim. Haha, atheist I have no problem with, I believe that. Anarchist? Go get your attention somewhere else.
 
2001-11-09 03:42:28 PM
You know that Scientology is a scam perpetrated by a lousy hack writer, because SCI FI GEEKS ARE IMMUNE TO IT. Do you think people who can analyze the logical inconsistencies of the Nomad probe's programming will fall for that Xenu crap? It takes AT LEAST a J. Michael Strazynski to get a real sci-fi cult going!

(Fantasy fans are a bit easier. You only need a Marion Zimmer Bradley to start something like the SCA.)
 
2001-11-09 03:43:08 PM
SomeCallMeTim, Sorry for the accusation :-) Just because you singled out Catholicism and didn't just say Christianity, I assumed... Yes, I'm an ass.

I agree that religions are bad. I'm an agnostic, although not an anarchist.
 
2001-11-09 03:50:19 PM
Wippuh: Don't tell me what to do..... I defy you. Hehe
 
2001-11-09 04:40:27 PM
Yeah, that's right. Catholics are out to control your mind. What the hell are you smoking?

As for "money grubbing," hop on the clue bus. Churches collect money to feed the priests, pay the staffs, maintain the buildings, etc. It's completely reasonable.
 
2001-11-09 04:48:43 PM
Even if all this is true, it still doesn't change the fact that L. Ron Hubbard had a big butt.
 
2001-11-09 05:14:09 PM
The Church of the Sub-Genius is the best cult out there.

The difference between a cult and a religion? I'm not sure (and too lazy to look it up at dictionary.com), but I think a religion is a belief or worship, a cult is a group following a religion. No matter what your religion is, you will nearly always see other cults as "silly" and they will see your beliefs just the same.
 
2001-11-09 06:20:46 PM
For anyone who has any doubt about how farked $cientology is, check out the evidence from their own web pages:

Stupidity of $cientology exposed by it's own web pages

Proof, once again, that truth is stranger than fiction...
 
2001-11-09 06:42:05 PM
Let's see if I can remember how this goes....
"I belong to a Religion;
You belong to a cult;
But They are infidels and devil worshipers!"

Not quite right - does anyone have the correct quote?

Corporate Mofo,
You're right when you say that "Scientology is a scam perpetrated by a lousy hack writer, because SCI FI GEEKS ARE IMMUNE TO IT."

But how about the Church of All Worlds? True, it was just a plot device for Heinlein (and - even according to the CAW - he was somewhat embarrassed by being held up as it's 'founder.').

"It takes AT LEAST a J. Michael Strazynski to get a real sci-fi cult going!" Eh? Been a reader for a long time, but never heard of him. What's his pen name?

And didn't the late, great Poul Anderson (and other members of the Guild on the west coast) have as much to with the founding of the SCA as MZB? I'm not a member, so I don't know.
 
2001-11-09 07:36:26 PM
hahaha churches raise money to feed the priests hahaha

religions = cults = bad, they are there to control people based on fear of the imaginary instead of what is right and wrong, evil evil bad evil and bad :) (especially catholics!)

scientology is so bad and obvious that if anyone falls for it it's their own damn fault hehe, its the catholics/christians/etc that are really sneaky/evil
 
2001-11-09 08:00:41 PM
 
2001-11-09 09:49:14 PM
For those of you whose Christian toes I may have stepped on, let me take the opportunity to disabuse you of some lovely myths. For instance, the historic Jesus was not nearly the sainted figure has been made out to be. In addition to being a lover of young boys and men, he was given to uncontrollable bursts of temper and hatred that belied the general message of love, understanding and other typical Marcab PR. You have only to look at the history his teachings inspired to see where it all inevitably leads. It is historic fact and yet man still clings to the ideal, so deep and insidious is the biologic implanting.
 
2001-11-09 11:45:22 PM
Scientology fan fiction? Aaarrgh!!!!

I am forced to admit that there are sicker puppies (or yuppies) than even Jackass Chickenshiat ever dreamed of in his sickest kudzu chewing nightmares!
 
2001-11-09 11:48:48 PM
TheWhiteDragon, that's easy, all major religions started out as "cults."
 
2001-11-10 01:52:02 AM
Ok ok ok, let's not rave on into the wee hours of the morning over whose religion is "correct." It's based on faith, not logic, so don't try to prove anything.
 
2001-11-10 02:48:31 AM
The entirety of Roman Catholicism - the devil, all of this sort of thing - that is all part of R6.
 
2001-11-10 11:34:54 AM
hahaha churches raise money to feed the priests hahaha

They... do. I mean, it's probably not straight from the collection basket to the grocery store, but a priest's (very modest) pay has to come from charitable donations. Where the hell else would it come from, O wise one?

religions = cults = bad, they are there to control people based on fear of the imaginary instead of what is right and wrong, evil evil bad evil and bad :) (especially catholics!)

I especially appreciate how you provided a reason for singling out Catholics there. Oh wait, you didn't.

The church is not out to "control" anyone. You can leave at any time. As a priest once said, "Jesus loves you so much that he gives you the option to reject him."

As for the "fear of the imaginary instead of right and wrong" thing, think about what you're saying for a second. The church presents its own ideas of right and wrong. The stuff you call "fear of the imaginary" does not supplant the concepts of right and wrong.

scientology is so bad and obvious that if anyone falls for it it's their own damn fault hehe, its the catholics/christians/etc that are really sneaky/evil

Yup, that's us. Sneaky and evil. I'm always out on the street looking for innocent, unwitting victims to rope into my eevil organization that teaches them to treat others as they would be treated, not kill, not steal, etc. An organization in which membership is purely voluntary, which has no sanctions for leaving. Yeah, sounds evil all right.

If you don't like it, that's fine. I don't question your right to reject it. But your accusations are ludicrous.
 
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