sethstorm: DarnoKonrad: The best way to teach children that throwing a temper-tantrum is unacceptable is by throwing an even bigger temper-tantrum!

Which is the lesson that really got taught to his daughter.

Not exactly sure where the "temper tantrum" was in the video. If you remove the questionable firearm use, this is a father who is fairly reasonably addressing his daughter. He's angry, sure. That's allowed. There is no "tantrum" here. Sorry.

DarnoKonrad: The best way to teach children that throwing a temper-tantrum is unacceptable is by throwing an even bigger temper-tantrum!

PLUS ONE TRILLION

Someone who gets it.

Children learn from what their parents say, how their parents act, and what their parents do.

Shooting a laptop and posting the video on the Internet? Not acceptable parenting, period. This pathetic excuse of a man is only modeling the very behavior that he is so decrying. It is not at ALL surprising that his daughter is a problem child, as I can only assume that he has raised her in a similar way all her life.

I don't know what farking video the people who are defending this guy watched. I saw the one where he shoots a laptop as a way of "teaching" his daughter a "lesson". Probably the lesson that says "You're acting like a spoiled little brat, just like your daddy. Do as I say, not as a do!"

sethstorm: RelativeEase: Dad shoots your computer in video on FB after you talk shiat about him on it.

*1st world problems*

In the Third World, he'd have killed her as an honor killing. The same people that defend this guy have equally backward equivalents in the Third World as well.

Dude, did you seriously forget to take your meds today?

Knara: saturn badger: LasersHurt: thelordofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: an object that you own

You see, he didn't own it. Whenever you give something to someone, they own it. you don't own it anymore. Taking it from them and destroying it is theft and destruction of property. That's a crime.

No, he owns it. He bought it, and it's in use by his daughter in his home. His daughter cannot claim legal ownership of that object. Don't be an idiot.

My dad used to do that. With very expensive toys he would retain ownership in case I abused them.

/he secretly coveted my train set

Yeah, I totally own anything that I gift to other people.

/idiots

You're assuming the child has a legally defensible claim of ownership for personal property bought and paid for by the parent. You seem to neglect that minors have limited rights that are not equal to the rights of adults, and that most of the responsibilities for the child's rights fall squarely on the shoulders of the parent rather than the child as the child is seen as being limited in its capacity for personal responsibility.

The services, goods, and property shared with a minor have time and again been defended as the purview of parent over the minor. Just because your child lives in your house does not give the child claim of ownership of your house. Just because the child watches your TV does not give the child claim of ownership of your TV. Etc. etc.

cameroncrazy1984: Knara: namegoeshere: Are you saying a man should have the same relationship with his daughter as he does with his wife? Because that's pretty sick, dude.

One where he doesn't consider it within his proper purview to destroy their stuff because his feelings were hurt, absolutely.

Where did he say his feelings were hurt? Also, it's not their stuff, it's his stuff. The child is a minor, correct? Now, had she purchased the laptop with her own money it would be different. She broke his rules, she got punished once already for it. He was absolutely justified in destroying his property.

I agree that it's legally his property and he has a right to do whatever he wants with it blah blah blah. But come on, it's pretty obvious that he was just butthurt that his little girl is growing up and doesn't think the world of him anymore. You're going to take what he says at face value? Come on! This is FARK; we're supposed to be smart enough to read subtext.

Let's look at what his gripe really is: she wrote a blog post bashing him that was intended to be private (more on that later) but he found anyway. If his actions weren't all about protecting his feelings he wouldn't spend a minute telling the world how he was such an independent, grateful volunteer firefighter growing up. He's trying to reinforce the point that he's not as bad as his daughter says and was in fact a better teenager than she will ever be.

He was running a PR campaign against his own daughter, as if a reasonable adult would take the side of a whiny entitled 15 year old over him.

If this weren't about protecting his feelings he would've waited until she had done something actually wrong before Dirty Harrying the computer. And judging from their relationship, it was only a matter of time before a sexting/missed curfew/defying of a teacher happened. He couldn't even wait until she lashed out to his face. No, he chose to make his stand over thoughts. Meaningless flippant teenage thoughts.

The more I think about it the more I pity that sad little man.

/I firmly believe she intended that to be seen only by her friends--the people to whom kids have biatched about life since the beginning of time--but wasn't smart enough to know how facebook works. Her bad. That's why she can only get max 5% sympathy from me.

Secret Master of All Flatulence: mudesi:
You people are farking sociopaths.

You have NO idea. Daughter's first teether:
[i135.photobucket.com image 160x81]

My oldest's fifth birthday present:
[i135.photobucket.com image 640x240]

Daddy's favorite gun:
[i135.photobucket.com image 600x800]

Why doesn't it surprise me that you have several thousand dollars worth of guns and ammo setting in a house that's a complete shiathole? Here's and idea, jethro: lay off the guns and moonshine for a month, and buy some wallpaper.

Methadone Girls: awwww...it's like you don't have teenagers in the house. One day they're telling you all about thier day, they're happy to see you and spend time with you, the next day thier hormones take over and you're lucky to get one word answers from them.

Right now, mine grunts his responses to me. He'll be 16 in June. Good times.

...also, his response is to give them a weapon while angry with him and tell them to hit something not him. That will end well...

Psycho.

Mztlplx:
However, I am NOT her friend. .

I've yet to understand all you lunatics who come here bragging about how you don't like your children. Why the hell did you even have them, then? Did the football team's community condom break?

Mavent: The house is, as they say, a "work in progress". We live in one part while we're working on other parts. In 15 years, it'll be done, and I'll find another hobby. Oh, and BTW: one of those guns is worth $30K plus "as is".

On the "dick move" of shooting a laptop. Hmmms. Somebody said it was an HP, and freshly upgraded. Other than the upgrade, I don't know how old that sucker was.

The fresh upgrade suggests the machine wasn't on the edge of the electronic boneyard, but not new, either.

If it had been one step shy of the boneyard and only good for salvage, the behavior of the dad would fall on the scale of "dick moves" down to the level of the 70's and 80's bands who would stage cheap, broken guitars in concert.

It does matter whether the laptop was actual valuable hardware or a "stage guitar."

But not to the daughter.

mudesi: DarnoKonrad: The best way to teach children that throwing a temper-tantrum is unacceptable is by throwing an even bigger temper-tantrum!

PLUS ONE TRILLION

Someone who gets it.

Children learn from what their parents say, how their parents act, and what their parents do.

Shooting a laptop and posting the video on the Internet? Not acceptable parenting, period. This pathetic excuse of a man is only modeling the very behavior that he is so decrying. It is not at ALL surprising that his daughter is a problem child, as I can only assume that he has raised her in a similar way all her life.

I don't know what farking video the people who are defending this guy watched. I saw the one where he shoots a laptop as a way of "teaching" his daughter a "lesson". Probably the lesson that says "You're acting like a spoiled little brat, just like your daddy. Do as I say, not as a do!"

I saw no temper tantrum in action. She publicly disparaged her parents. He responded by publicly demonstrating the consequences of her actions. He even took the effort to spell out clearly his reasons for doing so. Both were in the same venue (more or less; FB vs YouTube) and his intentions in doing so were made clearly and, so far as I saw, calmly.

His lesson was, don't disrespect your parents, and do as you're told, or there will be consequences.

Contrary to what you may believe, minors are legally under the authority of their parents, and to a certain extent the parents are legally responsible for their children in balance to that authority.

vrax: sethstorm: RelativeEase: Dad shoots your computer in video on FB after you talk shiat about him on it.

*1st world problems*

In the Third World, he'd have killed her as an honor killing. The same people that defend this guy have equally backward equivalents in the Third World as well.

derp
So your response to a well-reasoned comparison between those in the First World and those in the Third World is some cheap attempt at character assassination?

If anything, the guy sounds like he self-medicates a bit too often.


Not exactly sure where the "temper tantrum" was in the video. If you remove the questionable firearm use, this is a father who is fairly reasonably addressing his daughter. He's angry, sure. That's allowed. There is no "tantrum" here. Sorry.

His incoherent responses and not-so-well-covered anger throughout the whole thing suggest otherwise.

He's setting a very bad example for his daughter by saying that vengeance is OK if you have enough power.

sethstorm: Nope. Not even close.

Both you and him would be wrong for going all rage over it.

Trust me, there would be no rage in my response. If you knew me at all you would know that. I don't know this guy, and haven't seen the video (truly, I knew nothing of this story until about an hour ago,) but from his posted responses he doesn't seem overly angry, merely that he had threatened a punishment in the past and the behavior didn't change. It wasn't his daughters computer, it was his. Maybe your kids don't need to follow rules and understand that warnings of consequences should be heeded, but kids certainly listen when I tell them to do something, because, just like the real world, their actions have consequences and they need to realize that before they act, not after (before you jump to more conclusions: I use a calm voice and I explain fully what will happen if they misbehave. I don't threaten violence, and I never use violence, but I get my point across because, as has been stated in this thread, kids aren't stupid. If you treat them as intelligent, they'll behave in an intelligent manner.) It's easy to say he overstepped his bounds. If you read the things that have been written since the video, it appears his actions have helped shape his daughter in the proper form.

But I don't have any authority to tell people how to raise their kids, so even if you're right and he went "all rage over it", the end result was a daughter more understanding of her actions and the repercussions of those actions. The only violence I can see is towards a computer, and I don't consider shooting an inanimate object violence in the traditional sense. Certainly it's destructive, but when people talk of violence in the home they aren't referring to a one time event involving the destruction of a single enabling appliance.

Its pretty easy to see which farkers are

Mavent: Mztlplx:
However, I am NOT her friend. .

I've yet to understand all you lunatics who come here bragging about how you don't like your children. Why the hell did you even have them, then? Did the football team's community condom break?

not being a friend != not liking != not respecting

I have two children. I am friendly to them, usually. We do a lot of fun stuff, we learn a lot of new things together. I teach them, sometimes they even teach me. We all enjoy each other's company and look forward to spending time together.

However, I am not their friend. I am their father. And if they screw up, it is my responsibility to discipline them in the way I think most effective and appropriate, and it is also my responsibility to guide them along the path into being smart, responsible, independent people of their own. That's not always a task a friend can do. So, yeah, I like them. I like them a lot, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I don't think I can be their friend until they've been through a few more decades.

sethstorm: vrax: sethstorm: RelativeEase: Dad shoots your computer in video on FB after you talk shiat about him on it.

*1st world problems*

In the Third World, he'd have killed her as an honor killing. The same people that defend this guy have equally backward equivalents in the Third World as well.

derp
So your response to a well-reasoned comparison between those in the First World and those in the Third World is some cheap attempt at character assassination?

If anything, the guy sounds like he self-medicates a bit too often.


Not exactly sure where the "temper tantrum" was in the video. If you remove the questionable firearm use, this is a father who is fairly reasonably addressing his daughter. He's angry, sure. That's allowed. There is no "tantrum" here. Sorry.

His incoherent responses and not-so-well-covered anger throughout the whole thing suggest otherwise.

He's setting a very bad example for his daughter by saying that vengeance is OK if you have enough power.

How have you possibly managed to function in society without grasping that authority derives from the threat of force, and that civilizations have rules and laws backed by that authority?

Responsible parents help their children become responsible adults by teaching that lesson in the small scale through punishment and reward in the home, preferably long before society has to teach them that actions have consequences and that rules should be obeyed for one's own good.

Hopefully we get a story about marriage next so Farkers can tell us how to be the perfect spouse.

The Great EZE: If his actions weren't all about protecting his feelings he wouldn't spend a minute telling the world how he was such an independent, grateful volunteer firefighter growing up. He's trying to reinforce the point that he's not as bad as his daughter says and was in fact a better teenager than she will ever be.

He was running a PR campaign against his own daughter, as if a reasonable adult would take the side of a whiny entitled 15 year old over him.

I find it interesting that all the "she's all okay with this and forgot about this" stuff is coming from him. He's refusing any interviews because he's afraid of being editing out and his words being misconstrued.

He's also using Facebook as his only source of commentary, as if he does not know what "cut and paste" means.

Yeah, he's trying to deStreisand this. Good luck.

9beers: Hopefully we get a story about marriage next so Farkers can tell us how to be the perfect spouse.

No such creature, as there is no such thing as the perfect human.

Mavent: Mztlplx:
However, I am NOT her friend. .

I've yet to understand all you lunatics who come here bragging about how you don't like your children. Why the hell did you even have them, then? Did the football team's community condom break?

WTF is wrong with you? Did you even read that farking post? Being a parent and being a friend are two completely different roles. That you fail to understand this basic parenting concept is disturbing.

saturn badger: WALL OF TEXT

Yeah, no. I didn't want to read it in the article, you think I'm suddenly going to change my mind now? I don't need to read his backpedaling. He's a bad parent. End of.

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: GAT_00: Well, it's a big overreaction, one. Two, going online and posting a video about it is classic attention whoring, not parenting. All he did was teach his daughter that making a scene gets people to pay attention to you.

Um, a farking 2 year old can tell you that AW'ing works. That's why they throw tantrums. It works. He couldn't possibly have "taught" her that. And now he's getting unwanted attention... another valuable lesson for her. Ta da.

A tantrum has never worked on me and never will. It only works because you allow it to.

Wow, there must be a lot of children here on Fark. Only they would be this butthurt
over what ths father did. "the lordofcheese" your comment about something not being yours anymore because you gave it to someone does NOT apply to items given to your children, which you must be one if you think this way. I see nothing wrong with this father's actions. There are a hell of a lot worse parents out here that do not care what their kids are doing, I think a lot of them are on this site.

mudesi: To anybody who thinks this guy is a good father.

CUT YOUR BALLS OFF RIGHT FARKING NOW AND SAVE THE REST OF US THE TROUBLE OF PAYING FOR YOUR DISFUNCTIONAL OFFSPRING'S BURDEN TO SOCIETY

There's a reason his daughter is a acting out. It's because he's been a shiatty, shiatty parent. And you know how I know? Because of this video he posted. The man is a CHILD. Is it any wonder his daugther "disrespects" him?

No wonder people are so farked up. Calling this idiot a good father. Jesus Christ.

Excellent, so many idiot trolls in this thread, my ignore list swells with their ranks...

gweilo8888: saturn badger: WALL OF TEXT

Yeah, no. I didn't want to read it in the article, you think I'm suddenly going to change my mind now? I don't need to read his backpedaling. He's a bad parent. End of.

Wow, so proud to form your opinion from ignorance. Your parents obviously did a great job.

Mavent: I've yet to understand all you lunatics who come here bragging about how you don't like your children. Why the hell did you even have them, then? Did the football team's community condom break?

THIS, if not necessarily the best way to say it.

They're not supposed to be your friend, but at the same time it doesnt mean you get all Victorian Era on the kid.

Agent Smiths Laugh: No such creature, as there is no such thing as the perfect human.

I've seen hundreds on Fark.

unchellmatt: Too many people, in particular the amateur psychologists in this thread, seem to be of the opinion that it's bad to teach children hard lessons, and that kids are stupid as a brick. At times, yeah they sure as hell do seem that way. But if you talk to your kid, if you're honest with your kid, and if you listen in return, you end up with a great kid.

THIS.

I find it interesting how many of the 'good father' people in this thread are openly expressing envy, mainly that the girl had a technological item gifted to her that either did not exist or was prohibitively expensive when you were young, and that her parents have CHOSEN not to make her have a job or do chores in exchange for pocket money. You all seem quite angry she's got an easier and more technologically rich life than you had. You then interpret this as her being 'entitled' or 'out of control' or 'a snowflake' when she was venting like a normal teenager. Cry moar.

I also find it interesting that you're then going on to claim that people who said shooting the item was a needlessly hysterical and abusive overreaction are saying the girl shouldn't have been punished at all which is of course not true. It looks like some of you have made (or often make) similarly unhealthy poor parenting choices and feel that anyone saying this was not good is personally attacking your failures as a parent.

The father has decided that she didn't RESPECT MAH AUTHORATAY! and took violent revenge for his hurt feelings. That is not a sign of maturity, and it is not the sign of a good parent. People that concerned about 'respect' and being 'disrespected' do not have healthy emotional lives, first because they think so extremely highly of themselves that they simply can't believe that anyone would not automatically hold them in similarly high regard, and secondly because that kind of mindset assumes that they can and should have control over how other people feel about them. That's controlling and abusive.

If I were a teenage girl I would take the use of the gun as an implied threat of violence against myself. For all you saying 'it's a tool, it's a tool' you know damn well that the use to which that tool is put is to inflict death and violence.

The dog had a Facebook account? Interesting; Facebook requires that accounts represent human persons over 13 years of age. Mr. IT-Daddy at the very least tolerated this violation of their Terms of Service... then feels as if he has moral high ground? He's a twit.

Y'know, if the daughter were smart (and I think we all agree that the daughter isn't smart), she would use this episode to realize that she's in her father's head. If daddy would put on a big production just to punish her for writing, what else could she get him to do? If she's even a fraction as petty and vengeful as her old man she could escalate her bad behavior just to push his buttons and force even more elaborate stunts. Maybe even try to force him into a life-ruining move?

Holy shiat! I just realize how half my ex-girlfriends got so crazy.

That's another reason why pops should've opted for a more "conventional" style of punishment. Give the computer away while she's at school, say "I told you so," and end the argument there. You reinforce your role as authority without giving her the power to pull your strings. When people say "Oh, she's gonna end up on the pole/banging a bunch of black dudes just to get back at her dad," they're usually kidding. I could actually see that happening in this case.

whizbangthedirtfarmer: rickycal78: whizbangthedirtfarmer: frontwheeldriver: Good Daddy! Cute too!

Almost every "rebellious" teen that I know come from circumstances where their parents are absent or simply don't give a shiat. And that attitude starts way before preschool. This girl was posting shiat about her Dad because that is how he has taught her how to communicate.

This cant be serious.

cameroncrazy1984: The Great EZE: Breaking shiat when you're mad is what toddlers do. And breaking shiat to "send a message" to your daughter is alarming at best

Why is that alarming? He promised to destroy the computer if she misbehaved with it again. She did, and he did. He wasn't even mad. He was very calm about it. He just happened to do it in an unconventional way. Did you even watch the video?

What is it with people that there can be an entire thread on this one subject and they STILL miss the point while repeating again and again and again the same "he had to do what he said" statement?

Let's try this again, with feeling:
Following through on promises you make to your child is good parenting, whether those promises are for punishment or reward.
Promising to do stupid things and them following through on them is just... stupid.

Example: Jumping off a cliff just because you said you would. Promise keeping = good, promise = stupid.

Is it that hard, people? Seriously?


BTW, a person can be enraged without showing it. An outward appearance of calm does not necessarily imply inner peace.

RelativeEase: desmond.imageshack.us

The Great EZE: Y'know, if the daughter were smart (and I think we all agree that the daughter isn't smart), she would use this episode to realize that she's in her father's head. If daddy would put on a big production just to punish her for writing, what else could she get him to do? If she's even a fraction as petty and vengeful as her old man she could escalate her bad behavior just to push his buttons and force even more elaborate stunts. Maybe even try to force him into a life-ruining move?

Holy shiat! I just realize how half my ex-girlfriends got so crazy.

That's another reason why pops should've opted for a more "conventional" style of punishment. Give the computer away while she's at school, say "I told you so," and end the argument there. You reinforce your role as authority without giving her the power to pull your strings. When people say "Oh, she's gonna end up on the pole/banging a bunch of black dudes just to get back at her dad," they're usually kidding. I could actually see that happening in this case.

Dude, she's half black. And her mom is a stripper. Didn't you know that? I mean, it doesn't say it in the video, or on TFA, but still, try a little Google next time.

sethstorm: RelativeEase: (in the third world... his daughter would be the target)

Yeah, and all of us Farkers would have long since been taken out to the jungle by the secret police and shot. What's your point?

This thread has certainly taught me that Fark is full of bitter 40-somethings with serious passive-aggression problems.

I'm pretty glad that I got raised by non-Anglo parents. I got a good spanking once as a child, and that's all it took. Now I'm almost done with an Engineering degree, while those raised by conservatives who "followed through" are welcoming a second kid into their one bedroom apartment.

I like to thank the Dad. Girls who have fathers like this are the easist lays on the planet. I see pole dancing in this girl's future.

Pilikia: Dude, she's half black. And her mom is a stripper. Didn't you know that? I mean, it doesn't say it in the video, or on TFA, but still, try a little Google next time.

You're only helping to make The Great EZE's case by providing more evidence in his favor.

That, and it's quite the good example to set for someone's daughter to keep going the path of ill repute.

DENIAL
ANGER
ACCEPTANCE

SEQUENCE, COMPLETE ...