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(Daily Mail) Scary Man gets thrown out of pub by another customer for smoking. Since this is Fark, you'd better believe he came back into the pub with a chainsaw   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 43
More: Scary, CAUGHT ON CAMERA, kegs, bar stools, rib fracture, Dean Dinnen, offensive weapons, smoking bans  
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6530 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2012 at 9:59 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark]
2012-02-11 12:25:22 AM
I always wondered what happened to Francis Begbie.
 
I_Am_Weasel [TotalFark]
2012-02-11 09:29:45 AM
It's good they specified it was a gas chainsaw, otherwise we would have been left wondering... "Sure, sure, it was a chainsaw, but was it gas or electric?"
 
lazymojo
2012-02-11 10:03:35 AM
Yikes. Reading that article reminds me of that quote from Dennis Farina in Snatch:

"Anything to declare?"

"Yeah. Don't go to England."
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2012-02-11 10:05:52 AM
I_Am_Weasel: It's good they specified it was a gas chainsaw, otherwise we would have been left wondering... "Sure, sure, it was a chainsaw, but was it gas or electric?"

Usually in these types of stories they pull up a helpful file photo of a chainsaw so we know what they're talking about.
 
Kurmudgeon
2012-02-11 10:10:25 AM
You can tell it happened in England, try that here someone will cap you. Most likely the bar owner.
 
dittybopper
2012-02-11 10:11:43 AM
NewportBarGuy: I always wondered what happened to Francis Begbie.

Had this happened south of the Mason-Dixon line, I'd have attributed it to Marcel Ledbetter.
 
Sock Ruh Tease
2012-02-11 10:13:37 AM
Was he wearing a burlap sack over his head?
 
Pert
2012-02-11 10:14:48 AM
Farking AWESOME.....

Note to self, don't go for a farking drink in The Endyke pub in Hull...

"'He returned to the car park with the chainsaw,' said Ms Jobes. 'He had it in front of him He was revving the chain saw up and frightening people.

'He then entered the pub. But the man he was looking for had gone.

'A separate fight in the pub was coming to an end in which Mr Pryor was going to the assistance of his friend.'"

They had twice as many fights in one pub in one night than I have seen in 21 years of going to pubs.

"Dinnen was only stopped after customers managed to overpower him with chairs, bar stools and pool cues."

Really surprised that he was left alive by anyone in the pub....Also thought it was nice that the DM took the time to note the different seating available in the pub.
 
red5ish
2012-02-11 10:22:00 AM
Nobody had darts? What is the world coming to?
 
Kveld
2012-02-11 10:23:17 AM
Did they try to get into his shed?
 
Pert
2012-02-11 10:25:17 AM
red5ish: Nobody had darts? What is the world coming to?

Good point (no pun intended). You'd think a few well aimed darts and pool balls might have slowed him down a bit.

IIRC correctly, when some maniac beheaded someone with an axe in my road in London, some enterprising nearby builders used a ladder to pin him against a wall whilst remaining safely 10 ft away from him. Genius.
 
david_gaithersburg
2012-02-11 10:31:07 AM
Good thing they outlawed guns and knives with points.
 
Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf
2012-02-11 10:31:20 AM
Did they give him the beer joint? (new window)
 
MisterLoki
2012-02-11 10:38:44 AM
That is kind of fantastic.
 
Pert
2012-02-11 10:42:26 AM
Some really marvellous CCTV footage of the attack here:

Link (new window)

You have GOT to admire the balls of pretty much everyone in the video, but especially the guy who follows chainsaw-boy out of the pub and REPEATEDLY throws the same farking chair at him, before charging him and knocking him down.

At which point it looks like 20 to 30 people charge over to do Mr Dinnen what I can only assume was an extremely physical discourtesy..........

Seriously, Dinnen took a RIGHT old drubbing at the end of that video, with people running out of the pub carrying whatever they can lay their hands on to hit him with.

I love the fact that Dinnen seems to be trying to leave ("I don't want no trouble mate") while the guy with the chair chases him and knocks him over.

HILARIOUS!
 
bikkurikun
2012-02-11 10:48:24 AM
Ah, Hull, one of the armpits of England. I've only been genuinely scared once in my life, and that was when I was lost in Hull.
 
Pert
2012-02-11 10:51:04 AM
Captain Blackadder: And then the final, irrefutable proof. Remember, you mentioned a clever boyfriend...

Nurse Mary: Yes.

Captain Blackadder: I then leapt on the opportunity to test you. I asked if he'd been to one of the great universities, Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull.

Nurse Mary: Well?

Captain Blackadder: You failed to spot that only two of those are great Universities.

Nurse Mary: Swine!

General Melchett: That's right! Oxford's a complete dump!

/ex gf went to university in Hull
 
Pert
2012-02-11 10:53:45 AM
I_Am_Weasel: It's good they specified it was a gas chainsaw, otherwise we would have been left wondering... "Sure, sure, it was a chainsaw, but was it gas or electric?"

In an odd way I'd have slightly more respect for him if he'd run into the pub trailing 500m of power cable from his house down the road.....

Yoink!

humanresourceslegislation.files.wordpress.com

"Bugger....."
 
Pert
2012-02-11 10:57:13 AM
david_gaithersburg: Good thing they outlawed guns and knives with points.

Yeah, about that......... you see, if the patrons or staff of the bar had got access to firearms, odds are that Mr Dinnen would also have access to them as well and would have got off a few shots before anyone put him down.

As it is, we have one injured punter and one injured criminal; can't think that it would have worked out much better if everyone in the pub was packing heat.

I'm going to chalk this up to one of the many "Oh look, a crazy violent criminal launched an attack and somehow guns didn't seem necessary in any way to stop him" examples that I find around the place.
 
lazymojo
2012-02-11 11:11:48 AM
Pert: david_gaithersburg: Good thing they outlawed guns and knives with points.

Yeah, about that......... you see, if the patrons or staff of the bar had got access to firearms, odds are that Mr Dinnen would also have access to them as well and would have got off a few shots before anyone put him down.

As it is, we have one injured punter and one injured criminal; can't think that it would have worked out much better if everyone in the pub was packing heat.

I'm going to chalk this up to one of the many "Oh look, a crazy violent criminal launched an attack and somehow guns didn't seem necessary in any way to stop him" examples that I find around the place.

Well, true, this episode didn't have a lethal ending, but still... it could have been pretty ugly. The first time I read it, I was thinking to myself that I'd rather be shot than GORED WITH A FREAKING CHAINSAW.

I'll stay here in the good old US of America, thanks.
 
Farkin' Uke
2012-02-11 11:17:33 AM
Pert: Some really marvellous CCTV footage of the attack here:

Link (new window)

You have GOT to admire the balls of pretty much everyone in the video, but especially the guy who follows chainsaw-boy out of the pub and REPEATEDLY throws the same farking chair at him, before charging him and knocking him down.

At which point it looks like 20 to 30 people charge over to do Mr Dinnen what I can only assume was an extremely physical discourtesy..........

Seriously, Dinnen took a RIGHT old drubbing at the end of that video, with people running out of the pub carrying whatever they can lay their hands on to hit him with.

I love the fact that Dinnen seems to be trying to leave ("I don't want no trouble mate") while the guy with the chair chases him and knocks him over.

HILARIOUS!

Toward the end, one of the people that piles out of the pub is....wielding a torch? I don't mean a flashlight, (you silly speaking people), I mean like an honest to God torch (log with burning pitch on the end). I would not want to go to a pub where people have them at the ready, just waiting for the night it 'feels right' to light that sucker up!
 
Amos Quito
2012-02-11 11:36:09 AM
I_Am_Weasel: It's good they specified it was a gas chainsaw, otherwise we would have been left wondering... "Sure, sure, it was a chainsaw, but was it gas or electric?"


Well, it IS kind of important.

Have you seen the evil, acrid blue smoke that those petrol-driven chainsaws put out? Those fumes put the lives of everyone in that bar at risk!

Of course it's not as deadly as his face-melting lung-rotting CIGARETTE smoke was, but all the same, the man clearly has no regard for the safety of others.
 
MBooda
2012-02-11 11:54:05 AM
Just like a bloody Hullensian, bringing a chainsaw to a gunfight.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
Rik01 [TotalFark]
2012-02-11 12:04:22 PM
I told you, SMOKE Nazi's were going too far!

Now, finally, a smoker has been pushed to his limits. I expect similar incidents will start popping up. (Though, this one was a mite over the top.) I've wanted for ages to punch folks who biatch about my 'poisoning the air' when they're 30 feet up wind from me as I stand outside smoking -- usually in a area reserved for old crack pipes, dirty needles, empty meth bags and pot roaches. (The users of which folks tend to ignore.)

I'm reminded to the lawyer suing an old lady who lived in his apartment building and smoked on her balcony, claiming her second hand smoke was endangering his life. She should have cooked up a big pot of chicken soup and thrown the boiling mass on him. Besides, he knew she smoked before he moved into his apartment.

See, now the difference between there and here is that here, he would have come back with his AK-47, wearing body armor and taken everyone out, then made a stand against the cops. Smoking as he did so.

Remember this, Smoke Nazi's, the Rebellion is beginning!
 
The Face Of Oblivion
2012-02-11 12:08:24 PM
Dinnen was eventually disarmed by a kick and then battered onto the ground by pub-goers. He received broken ribs and a punctured lung before armed police arrived.

Shame he couldn't have been made to fall onto his own saw. Fark junkies. Having him pre-sliced and ready for flat-pack shipping to the municipal incinerator would be convenient.

Remember this, Smoke Nazi's, the Rebellion is beginning!

REEEEEEEEAAALLLLLLLL AMERICAN HEEEEEEEEEERRR-WHEEEZE-COUGH-COUGH-UGGGHHH
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2012-02-11 12:13:05 PM
Rik01: Now, finally, a smoker has been pushed to his limits. I expect similar incidents will start popping up

Nah, I think it will decline as people who are too stupid to still be smokers die off and others who still need to smoke will start smoking the electronic ones that don't bother anyone.
 
Suede head
2012-02-11 12:19:49 PM
'A separate fight in the pub was coming to an end

Sounds like a fun Olde Englishe Pub!
 
Mael99
2012-02-11 12:39:34 PM
Their gun control laws are working. Now they need to work on chainsaw control legislation.
 
GentlemanJ
2012-02-11 12:46:50 PM
Customs Man at Heathrow: Anything to declare, Sir?
Jekyll and Hyde: Man has not evolved an inch from the primordial slime that spawned him.
Customs Man at Heathrow: Very Good, Sir.

"I wept because I had no starter fluid, then I met a man who had no chainsaw."--ancient SubGenius aphorism.
/No, I'm not stoned-I'm normally like this. Why do you ask?
 
MasterSFV
2012-02-11 01:10:00 PM
bikkurikun: Ah, Hull, one of the armpits of England. I've only been genuinely scared once in my life, and that was when I was lost in Hull.

Second 'ull (we call the place 'ull, the "H" fell off in the 'umber) story on fark in a week. So proud of the town I was raised in....

/sob.....
 
9beers
2012-02-11 01:16:35 PM
Well that was fun. You wouldn't think that so many people would go after a dude wielding a chainsaw.
 
Zeno-25
2012-02-11 01:43:14 PM
david_gaithersburg: Good thing they outlawed guns and knives with points.

i.imgur.com

/likes guns
 
karlandtanya
2012-02-11 01:44:18 PM
Came for the Jerry Clower reference.
Leaving satisfied.
 
cryinoutloud
2012-02-11 01:50:39 PM
Pert: Some really marvellous CCTV footage of the attack here:

I see they took half the furniture of the pub outside and threw it around on the street, after the guy was outside and was leaving. I bet the pub owner appreciated that.
 
Mentalpatient87
2012-02-11 02:49:05 PM
lazymojo: Pert: david_gaithersburg: Good thing they outlawed guns and knives with points.

Yeah, about that......... you see, if the patrons or staff of the bar had got access to firearms, odds are that Mr Dinnen would also have access to them as well and would have got off a few shots before anyone put him down.

As it is, we have one injured punter and one injured criminal; can't think that it would have worked out much better if everyone in the pub was packing heat.

I'm going to chalk this up to one of the many "Oh look, a crazy violent criminal launched an attack and somehow guns didn't seem necessary in any way to stop him" examples that I find around the place.

Well, true, this episode didn't have a lethal ending, but still... it could have been pretty ugly. The first time I read it, I was thinking to myself that I'd rather be shot than GORED WITH A FREAKING CHAINSAW.

I'll stay here in the good old US of America, thanks.

My drive to work this morning could have been pretty ugly, too. What's your point?
 
Pert
2012-02-11 04:00:53 PM
cryinoutloud: Pert: Some really marvellous CCTV footage of the attack here:

I see they took half the furniture of the pub outside and threw it around on the street, after the guy was outside and was leaving. I bet the pub owner appreciated that.

If i owned a pub and this happened i would be more than happy for my regulars to re task my furniture to discourage further chainsaw based nonsense
 
Avery614
2012-02-11 05:13:48 PM
The Face Of Oblivion: Remember this, Smoke Nazi's, the Rebellion is beginning!

Smokers are a dangerous bunch, they will ALWAYS stand their ground and fight. Lord knows they can't run away....
 
CasperImproved
2012-02-11 06:35:17 PM
The video made me laugh quite a bit.... when the stool/chair welding patrons proceeded to stomp his a$$.
 
rico567
2012-02-11 06:49:18 PM
Kurmudgeon: You can tell it happened in England, try that here someone will cap you. Most likely the bar owner.

Where I come from, they'd cap you for a lot less than that. For the chain saw trick, they'd probably buy you a drink.
 
Frederf
2012-02-11 07:07:36 PM
Buzz Buzz isn't allowed to smoke in the bar either.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-02-11 09:28:59 PM
Kurmudgeon: You can tell it happened in England, try that here someone will cap you. Most likely the bar owner.

This is why Britain, although not as Great anymore, is still far more awesome than America will ever be.
 
Naesen
2012-02-12 05:29:06 PM
Pert: Some really marvellous CCTV footage of the attack here:

Link (new window)

You have GOT to admire the balls of pretty much everyone in the video, but especially the guy who follows chainsaw-boy out of the pub and REPEATEDLY throws the same farking chair at him, before charging him and knocking him down.

At which point it looks like 20 to 30 people charge over to do Mr Dinnen what I can only assume was an extremely physical discourtesy..........

Seriously, Dinnen took a RIGHT old drubbing at the end of that video, with people running out of the pub carrying whatever they can lay their hands on to hit him with.

I love the fact that Dinnen seems to be trying to leave ("I don't want no trouble mate") while the guy with the chair chases him and knocks him over.

HILARIOUS!

Play that video while listening to yakety sax. The ONLY appropriate audio for this hilarious event.
 
TheVeryDeadIanMartin
2012-02-13 03:09:19 AM
Was his name Malcolm?

The Arrogant Worms "Malcolm"

"Billy solve his problems by calling up his mom
Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law
But Malcolm's got his own way, it's better than them all

'Cause Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
And he never has the same problem twice

Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late
Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate
Awful TV programs or a broken Elvis plate
Or his fiancé-' who dumps him because he's gaining weight

Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
And he never has the same problem twice

And he goes VRRRRRMMM VRRRRRMMM
Problem solved!"
 
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