When I was a kid I rode my bike dowe a big flight of stairs, when I got to the bottom I hit something and went flying over the handlebars of my Schwinn Orange Krate, but my scrotum got caught on the big bolt that holds the handlebars to the fork.

Surprisingly it did not destroy my life.

A bruised baby batter bag is no joke.

TravisBickle62: When I was a kid I rode my bike dowe a big flight of stairs, when I got to the bottom I hit something and went flying over the handlebars of my Schwinn Orange Krate, but my scrotum got caught on the big bolt that holds the handlebars to the fork.

Surprisingly it did not destroy my life.

Sounds like why I stopped skating as a teen. Heelflip to broken boardslide to 25 foot crotchride to faceplant was the trick sequence.

Once I stopped vomiting I grabbed what was left of my deck and my pride and walked away.

When I was a kid, I was once riding on the back of a dirt bike (motorcycle) when the front wheel hit a rut which stopped us dead. This propelled me forward into the driver, who was then thrown, crotch-first, quickly and to devastating effect into the gas tank. I think he writhed on the ground for a good twenty or thirty minutes.

Another time in middle school, we were playing soccer in gym. Almost no one in my gym class wore a cup. I saw one of my friends run up to kick a ball as another older boy was moving in to do the same and my buddy reared back, loosed a mighty kick, and missed the ball completely. But his kick did land directly into the nutsack of the older kid. We played around him for the rest of the period while he rolled and moaned on the ground.

I've been racked a few times, but on the whole I've been lucky and protect my balls.

Most women just don't seem to understand the intensity of the pain, but then again most of us men will never really understand the childbirth pain thing.

Unfortunately we never seem to get the amnesia that women get regarding childbirth. Each and every nut bash is forever burned into your brain as if it happened yesterday.

/the article did a very good job of describing the physical sensations

It could be said that the reason it hurts so much is that it makes us want to protect them. It's a known fact that they have to be about 3 degrees cooler than the body core temperature to work or they won't work at all. Here's my question. If they're so sensitive, why is it not so that they can function just fine inside the human body at core temperature where they would be better protected?

I was 15 that Summer, visiting my aunt, uncle, and two younger cousins in Seattle. My uncle had my cousins and I on Lake Washington in the boat, pulling us on the big inner tube. Bounce, bounce, bounce, and OW MY BALLS!!. I my package slammed down hard on the big inner-tube and I let go to float in the cool water. Boat came around and they hauled me out. I sat curled up on the floor of the boat, trying not to make a big deal of it. My pre-pubescent cousins, ignorant of such matters, asking, "What's wrong, what's wrong?" My uncle saying, "Yeah, he just got the wind knocked out of him. Right." Smiling and shaking his head as he gave me that look which said, "I feel for you, buddy. Sorry about that."

When my ex was in high school, she and a girl friend decided that this whole kick to the groin couldn't be THAT debilitating. So, in the interest of scientific investigation, she let the friends' brother kick her in the groin as hard as he could. After rolling around in excruciating pain for awhile, she developed a whole new appreciation for the fragility of testicles and the package in which they are wrapped.

And the worst thing about getting slammed in the nuts is that somehow the endorphins fail to show up.

/starting to ache just thinking about it

When I was a kid there were some dirt piles near our house that thanks to a nice hill next to them became the place to take our bikes.
One fantastic run, it was the fastest I ever went down that hill, took the first jump perfectly, I was soaring. Best jump ever. The landing, well, let's just say that I slipped off the seat mid flight, and my nuts slammed down on the frame. Seriously, why do boys bikes have that stupid bar?

Next good one. Right after my vasectomy (same day - but anesthetic is now worn off) my youngest kids comes running up to give me a hug and slams her forehead right into my extra-sensitive sack.

It generally helps, after a debilitating blow to the groin, to stand up and spread your legs. Think "horse stance". I think part of the reason the pain lingers for most guys is that they immediately crumple and curl inward instead of letting things settle back into their natural places.

You can try this (without the nut kick) the next time you sit too long in a strange position and get that weird, uncomfortable ache. Stand up and . . . well, don't shake things out, but widen up your stance (hur) and flex your knees a little.

The sooner things get back to where they belong, the faster you'll be up and running after the asshole who nailed you.

I turned down the offered Valium for my vasectomy, not realizing that, although they numbed the scrotum skin, the procedure itself caused the "getting kicked in the balls feeling" continuously.

At least it didn't take long.

Gaseous Anomaly: I turned down the offered Valium for my vasectomy, not realizing that, although they numbed the scrotum skin, the procedure itself caused the "getting kicked in the balls feeling" continuously.

At least it didn't take long.

The initial Novocaine in the sack part (the donkey kick to the nuts feeling) was the part I hated the most, after that I was so numb I didn't even care what was happening. The Valium was most necessary.

This thread is becoming painful to read.

I like that he mentioned the 30 seconds of functionality you can get from the rage reaction. Brother did this to me once with cowboy boots, chased him for a block, caught him, started to beat him into a pulp, then dropped mid-swing.

Thraeryn: It generally helps, after a debilitating blow to the groin, to stand up and spread your legs. Think "horse stance". I think part of the reason the pain lingers for most guys is that they immediately crumple and curl inward instead of letting things settle back into their natural places.

You can try this (without the nut kick) the next time you sit too long in a strange position and get that weird, uncomfortable ache. Stand up and . . . well, don't shake things out, but widen up your stance (hur) and flex your knees a little.

The sooner things get back to where they belong, the faster you'll be up and running after the asshole who nailed you.

I've heard this. A guy I know got a kick to the groin during a black belt test and the instructor's response was to help him up and get him into a horse stance. He didn't seem real thrilled about the prospect and being a spectator I can't judge whether or not it helped but it seemed like a good idea.

It was semi-amusing because this was his 2nd Dan test and he got hit in the groin during his 1st Dan test as well. Both by different guys named Matt. I'm kind of looking forward to his 3rd Dan test to see if he pulls the "ow my balls" trifecta.

The animation of this Lichtenberg wasn't FARK friendly, but this is the general gist of what happens on the nut shot.

*raises right hand* I swear I will never giggle again.

/a hard hit "down there" doesn't feel nice for females, either

Actually, women can be brought to understand what it feels like. Their ovaries are just as sensitive. They are safely tucked away, so they don't have much opportunity to "get racked". But an over-zealous lover or a careless gynecologist can mash one and it hurts just as bad as a busted ball.

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: It could be said that the reason it hurts so much is that it makes us want to protect them. It's a known fact that they have to be about 3 degrees cooler than the body core temperature to work or they won't work at all. Here's my question. If they're so sensitive, why is it not so that they can function just fine inside the human body at core temperature where they would be better protected?

Chicks dig them.

Snakeophelia: fighting dirty is probably my best chance to disable an attacker.

Nope. A kick to the groin will not stop anyone from killing you who really wants to. Go for the eyes.

Speaking of, if you ever need to explain to a woman what balls feel like, they are exactly like your eyeballs. You can press your fingers gently against your eyes (with them closed, of course), and it even feels good. Now, tap one with your fingertip. Ouch, right? That's what balls are like.

I was once riding a boy's bike with that stupid bar. For some reason or another, I had to stop suddenly and I went flying forward and hit the bar. I imagine the pain I felt is similar to a nut shot. After rolling around on the ground, writhing in pain I vowed to never laugh at a man's misfortune ever again.

/still laughs
//remembers the pain and feels slightly guilty

Oh, and it still amuses me how you can always tell the guys that have had truly horrendous nut shots happen to them seeing it happen in a movie or something. We always get that wince and scrunch our legs together and/or cross them. Because when you've taken a line drive from a golf ball that was hit with a baseball bat to the sack, you never forget.

This article made me weep....

I used to get hit in the balls all the time as a kid. It probably hasn't happened in 20 years though. That's the only way I can tell I've gotten smrtr.

I think my wife has an appreciation for what it's like now. One time I farked her too deep and she said it felt like she had cramps for a while after. I'm not sure if that's a similar feeling but I bet it is.

ArkAngel: My high school Civics teacher told me a story once:

He and his friend were sledding. On one run, his friend straddled a tree (ouch). They each went home after that. The friend's mom called my teacher and said his friend wouldn't come out of the bathroom and asked him to see what was wrong. My teacher went over there and found out that his friend split open his sack hitting the tree and his balls were dangling out.

ngh. ngh! erk.

/*twitch*

Rabid Turnip: Most women just don't seem to understand the intensity of the pain, but then again most of us men will never really understand the childbirth pain thing.

Unfortunately we never seem to get the amnesia that women get regarding childbirth. Each and every nut bash is forever burned into your brain as if it happened yesterday.

/the article did a very good job of describing the physical sensations

Isn't that true. I am in my mid 30's and still vividly remember at 6 riding my bicycle across a sand patch and having the handle bars turn 90 degrees, me flying off the seat and landing with my groin right on the end of the grip area. I laid on the ground crying for a good 15 20 minutes. I could still walk a person to the spot it happened nearly 30 years ago and I haven't lived in that town for 20 years.

Thraeryn: It generally helps, after a debilitating blow to the groin, to stand up and spread your legs. Think "horse stance". I think part of the reason the pain lingers for most guys is that they immediately crumple and curl inward instead of letting things settle back into their natural places.

You can try this (without the nut kick) the next time you sit too long in a strange position and get that weird, uncomfortable ache. Stand up and . . . well, don't shake things out, but widen up your stance (hur) and flex your knees a little.

The sooner things get back to where they belong, the faster you'll be up and running after the asshole who nailed you.

If I kicked you in the nuts, and you stood up in a horse stance to let the boys air out a bit, I would have to kick you square in the sack again. It would be too good an oppourtunity to let go. Be safe. Consider your surroundings before you let the twins dangle.

CSB: Basic training in the Army, we were practicing throws. The object was that if someone was running at you, you fall back, plant a foot in their stomach, and use their foward momentum and your falling momentum to propell them up and over you. So this kid who was probably at 190lbs to my 150 gets way back and comes charging full speed at me. I figure I'm gonna need some foot power to get his heavy ass over me. So he gets close and jam out hard with my foot. Right into his sack. He didn't so much as flip over me, as come to an immediate dead stop, and then fall over. Drill Sargeant thankfully kept him from kicking my ass. He yelled at me for not doing the self defense right. I responded "Well, I stopped him, didn't I?"

Many pushup were had that day.

OW MY BALLS
OW MY BALLS
OW MY BALLS

Everything in this thread is making me wince.

/ever been kicked by an 11 month old right in the grapes?
//those tiny feet can cause a lot of pain

I used to play field lacrosse. There are three essential things that a field lacrosse goalie is required to wear (four if you count a mouth piece).

The first is a neck protector. Essentially a piece of plexi-glass that covers your throat. Very useful, in that getting a lacrosse ball to the throat could kill you.

The second is a chest protector. Basically a large padded cushion that covers your chest and solar-plexus, it was mandated in SoCal leagues after a kid at a local high school died when a piece of his chest bone impaled his heart when a lacrosse ball hit him.

The third and the most essential piece of equipment is a cup. I learned why this was so damn important after watching our varsity goalie taking shots with the attack men. The middies were also drilling, and one of came in and basically whipped a ball off as hard as he could to get it between the goalie's legs. Well, the goalie was so quick that the ball hit him square in the package. I actually heard the damn thing crack. The goalie just fell over, and the varsity coach rushed over whilst all of the attack men just stood around in shock.

Thankfully, his future children were ok, but he pulled his cup out and it was had a nice long crack going down the middle. He didn't get back in the cage for a while after that and I can see why. He told us he had a cup shaped bruise on his neither regions for a while after that.

orezona: OW MY BALLS
OW MY BALLS
OW MY BALLS

Everything in this thread is making me wince.

/ever been kicked by an 11 month old right in the grapes?
//those tiny feet can cause a lot of pain

Especially with those nice hard baby shoes they have sometimes...

JackieRabbit: Actually, women can be brought to understand what it feels like. Their ovaries are just as sensitive. They are safely tucked away, so they don't have much opportunity to "get racked". But an over-zealous lover or a careless gynecologist can mash one and it hurts just as bad as a busted ball.

As a hermaphrodite I'm getting a kick out of this.

Six Flags Georgia, Great American Scream Machine (new window) I will never ride in the back of a Roller Coaster again. It looked like such an innocent ride, Little did I know that it was out to really make me scream (in Pain) Every hill threw me up off the seat, every valley slammed my nuts into the seat.I don't know How i was able to get up and walk away when the ride finished, but i did, but not much further than the nearest bench.

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: It could be said that the reason it hurts so much is that it makes us want to protect them. It's a known fact that they have to be about 3 degrees cooler than the body core temperature to work or they won't work at all. Here's my question. If they're so sensitive, why is it not so that they can function just fine inside the human body at core temperature where they would be better protected?

Because God is a really lousy designer.