.....when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.



I got nothing.

Well, every sperm is sacred.

I can't fap to this!

Every sperm is sacred......

Should have said: "but a fertile women's vagina"

Somebody finally thought of the kittens!

I wonder why he stopped there. "Any unfertilized egg released at the end of any woman's menstrual cycle" works the same.

"I say, life begins at arousal!"

band name: Bill Banning Masturbation

That outlaws a whole lot of other activities besides the old Rosy Palmer.

No BJ's, no anal, no money shots, I could go on....

That's not logical.

A fetus is a human being. Sperm are merely cells.

And here I was thinking this was supposed to be the "pro-science" faction in American politics.

So now I'm a mass murderer?

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. They are gonna send me away for life.

All_Farked_Up: Every sperm is sacred......

Then it's technically an action against a hundred million unborn children.

/who knew genocide could feel SO good?

If this bill passes, I'm going to by stock in Kellogg's and Post cereals.

so the only time i'll get any is when the gov't farks me? no thanks.

/would have been in jail 4 times before i got out of my shower

Maybe they don't want any Bill Clinton wanna-be's crossing the Oklahoma border.

Just because none of you will actually read the article, do realize that she's maximum trolling, legislator style.

Chach: That's not logical.

A fetus is a human being. Sperm are merely cells.

And here I was thinking this was supposed to be the "pro-science" faction in American politics.

She's trolling fundie conservatives, let her roll.

pro-choice Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson introduced an amendment to the bill that read: "However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman's vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child."

Read more: http://nation.foxnews.com/constance-johnson/2012/02/08/democrat-introd uces-bill-banning-masturbation#ixzz1lzoXpiEF


Well now, that's not very "pro-choice" now is it lady? You can't have an action against a clump of cells that haven't even formed yet. And what if she's 8 months pregnant? Or she wants it somewhere else? Would we be both comitting a crime? And how do you plan to enforce it?

Tell you what, I won't tell you what to do with your vagina, you don't tell me what to do with my penis, mmmmkay?

wickedMule: Somebody finally thought of the kittens!

Yeah, someone did. Here on Fark. Yesterday. In a greenlit article.

Link (new window)

It also seems that people need to learn the difference between a zygote and a fetus.

Fetal personhood bills are undeniably bad but I don't think they are so bad that they bend logic around them, subster. This is not the logical conclusion.

Given that most males become capable of ejaculating somewhere around age 12, we're now either going to have to arrest every teenage boy for 'actions against unborn children,' or start allowing minors to release their sperm in a lawful fashion.

/two people can play this game of hyperbole, you know

netweavr: I wonder why he stopped there. "Any unfertilized egg released at the end of any woman's menstrual cycle" works the same.

We must put an end to these ovulating mass murderers.

netweavr: I wonder why he stopped there. "Any unfertilized egg released at the end of any woman's menstrual cycle" works the same.

We really should go back to the practice of forcing menstruating women to live in special huts on the outskirts of our communities, so they can live alone with their shame.

I thought that nothing could make me want to leave this place more. I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

I personally think that it should be illegal for a woman to turn down sexual advances for the same reason....

/I got me some sperms, you gots an egg.... that's a potential child right there.

Oysterman: I can't fap to this!

Amateur.

she had the rider added in an obvious attempt to get the bill killed. come on. do you really think any male legislator will give up his right to view porn and fap during session?

The comments that think she's serious really choke me up. Get a grip, jerks!
/something, something, wankers...

Chach: A fetus is a human being. Sperm are merely cells.

And here I was thinking this was supposed to be the "pro-science" faction in American politics.

Actually, a fetus is merely cells, too.

And if you want to talk "pro-science," you should realize that "being" is a philosophical term, not a scientific one.

oh my god the comments on that article.......

a Democrat with a sense of humor...xp

Sweet. Tards are so easy....

humanshrapnel: She's trolling fundie conservatives, let her roll.

And what is hilarious are the comments on the story itself that show the utter lack of self-awareness among those being trolled. They complain that their movement is portrayed as a group of raving brain damaged morons, and then open their mouths and prove it.

Chach: That's not logical.

A fetus is a human being. Sperm are merely cells.

And here I was thinking this was supposed to be the "pro-science" faction in American politics.

And these personhood ammendments would make natural miscarriage something police would have to investigate, as well as criminalizing most hormonal birth control.

This ammendment was satire designed to draw attention to the ridiculous nature of the personhood bills.

This thread is hilarious.

Andrew Wiggin:LOL!
Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr :REALLY LOL!
Otto_von_Prawn : Wins!

Finally, I have some street cred.

Theaetetus: Chach: A fetus is a human being. Sperm are merely cells.

And here I was thinking this was supposed to be the "pro-science" faction in American politics.

Actually, a fetus is merely cells, too.

Sure, and you are merely cells.

Hah Hah!

I can still jerk-it since I had a vasectomy.

The problem is that I know LOTS of religious conservatives who would approve this bill. It would make gay sex a crime against children. Has this legislature never talked with the "sex should be for procreative purposes only" fundies? Because that is what I hear all the time. I know a woman who is infertile and her own family tries to convince her that sex with her husband is a sin because children can't result.

This trolling was not well thought through. I'm concerned the Republican base will welcome this.

Fark continues its leftist crap.
Cant wait until the socailist that you liberals support take over.. you will be the first ones they put into camps.. and sites like Fark will be the first outlawed.

Idiots cant tell the difference between a spem and a creature with heart beat, brain waves and blood type.

Will guys that blow a load in a woman that is medically incapable of becoming pregnant be prosecuted? It is the biological equivalent of a blowjob

dr.zaeus: netweavr: I wonder why he stopped there. "Any unfertilized egg released at the end of any woman's menstrual cycle" works the same.

We must put an end to these ovulating mass murderers.

There is a child being born every 5.6 seconds....we must find and stop this woman