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(The New York Times)   According to the United States Census Bureau, when a child is being watched by his father, that's a special "child care arrangement." When the mother is in responsible, that's the way God intended   (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com) divider line 175
    More: Obvious, Census Bureau, United States, child care arrangement, child cares, gender roles  
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8688 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2012 at 4:40 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-10 12:07:05 AM
Nosy questions like that are the reason I refuse to take part in the census.
 
2012-02-10 12:37:34 AM
Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.
 
2012-02-10 02:58:10 AM
I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.


True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?
 
2012-02-10 03:09:22 AM

AbbeySomeone: True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?


As long as you can still live vicariously through their high school sports achievements, who gives a shiat who raises them?
 
2012-02-10 03:12:37 AM

AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?


I have worked nights for the last 20 years, primarily so I can be with the kids during the day instead of paying a professional. My oldest just flew the coop. I think I did well.
 
2012-02-10 03:14:26 AM

AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?


I claim to be baby sitting. The first time I hear the kids tell their mother "Dad doesn't do it that way" I may stop.
 
2012-02-10 04:57:55 AM
Crotch fruit.
 
2012-02-10 05:02:33 AM
Men have more important things to do than watch children, clean up after themselves, or manage to cook something at least halfway nutritional. There's beer to be drunk, TV to be watched, and farts to be had.
The rest of it? That's women's work.
 
2012-02-10 05:03:31 AM
What do you call it when the ex doesn't follow a shared parenting agreement, moves out of state and goes into hiding?
 
2012-02-10 05:13:13 AM
Daddy is child care? Seems like the mothers wages should be garnished to pay for this service.
 
2012-02-10 05:14:21 AM
This shiat really hits a nerve. My wife and I both work equal time. I go in much earlier though so I'm in charge of picking up our son at daycare. I'm then "babysitting" for a couple of hours at least. I also "baby sit" on the wkends a lot.

My mother in fukng law is off-the-boat Italian and just cannot get it through her farking head that a) i am not as her husband was, fathers are capable of taking care of a 2 yr old..b) he doesn't like hangin with you very much..c) he likes me best because I have him playing guitar already, and i jam music with him when we are driving. Normal music and not farking Barney or an 80s station, with the windows down too beeeooottcchhh..

Also, my buddy just got divorced. Has a stable job and doesn't get in trouble or do drugs. Fought for his daughter and lost only because he was "just" the dad, and a kid is best with his mom..
 
2012-02-10 05:15:26 AM

Matthew Keene: What do you call it when the ex doesn't follow a shared parenting agreement, moves out of state and goes into hiding?


The womans right to choose?
 
2012-02-10 05:15:43 AM

AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?


Because some people like
a/ Kids
and
b/ Being able to pay the mortgage
 
2012-02-10 05:21:47 AM

Cormee: AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?

Because some people like
a/ Kids
and
b/ Being able to pay the mortgage


So they are kind of a mix of status symbol and pet, like a Thoroughbred horse.
 
2012-02-10 05:28:45 AM

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.


bold chains to the floor and lock them up if you need to step out, ffs.

/this 'god' character sure causes lots of problems, first he tells 3 different candidates he wants them to run for president, now this
//maybe it's because kids don't come out of guys' assholes
/i did drop a brown baby in the bathroom last night though
 
2012-02-10 05:29:54 AM
bolt.

/stupid keyboard.
 
2012-02-10 05:30:03 AM

Matthew Keene: What do you call it when the ex doesn't follow a shared parenting agreement, moves out of state and goes into hiding?


I think they call that "Midwest Style".
 
2012-02-10 05:45:33 AM

SquiggelyGrounders: Cormee: AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?

Because some people like
a/ Kids
and
b/ Being able to pay the mortgage

So they are kind of a mix of status symbol and pet, like a Thoroughbred horse.


Idiotic conclusion, but I'll bite anyway.

No, they're children. Children whose parents want to provide for them as best they can, children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.
 
2012-02-10 05:48:20 AM

Matthew Keene: What do you call it when the ex doesn't follow a shared parenting agreement, moves out of state and goes into hiding?


The man's fault.

Just be thankful she didn't go all "Battered Wives' Syndrome" on your ass.
 
2012-02-10 05:48:46 AM
fark that shiat. My daughters would rather stay with me than their mother, they usually call crying at some point during the week wanting me. If I didnt get a large chunk under the table I wonder if I could get a judge to give them to me instead.

/Actually unlike many a frigid biatch, I realize the kids need their other parent in their lives equally
//Stupid biatches use them as leverage in arguments sometimes and ultimately deprive the kid
///No Im not bitter... Can you tell
 
2012-02-10 05:50:29 AM

SquiggelyGrounders: Daddy is child care? Seems like the mothers wages should be garnished to pay for this service.


Yeah, I wish. I pay for my daughter's day care, to the tune of $10,000/year, and her darling mother seems to think I should still be paying her money because she's "too poor". Heh heh heh, and then she refused to file for child support, though, when it said that she'd owe ME money. Now she's trying to file to say I only deserve every other weekend and two evenings a week with my daughter, instead of 50/50 time as we have now, in part to help "rectify" this money situation.
 
2012-02-10 05:51:25 AM

Cormee: SquiggelyGrounders: Cormee: AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?

Because some people like
a/ Kids
and
b/ Being able to pay the mortgage

So they are kind of a mix of status symbol and pet, like a Thoroughbred horse.

Idiotic conclusion, but I'll bite anyway.

No, they're children. Children whose parents want to provide for them as best they can, children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.


I know it's weird, but it's almost as if you can plan ahead on something this important.
 
2012-02-10 05:51:28 AM
Does that mean Dad can demand a tip when he microwaves the mac & cheese?
 
2012-02-10 05:53:37 AM

Cormee: SquiggelyGrounders: Cormee: AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?

Because some people like
a/ Kids
and
b/ Being able to pay the mortgage

So they are kind of a mix of status symbol and pet, like a Thoroughbred horse.

Idiotic conclusion, but I'll bite anyway.

No, they're children. Children whose parents want to provide for them as best they can, children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.


Kim Jong-un, I presume
 
2012-02-10 05:54:00 AM
Cormee:

No, they're children. Children whose parents want to provide for them as best they can, children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.

Preach on..it costs a fortune for daycare, but we can still overcome that, and make a little more to squirrel away and try to give him a better future if possible, but only if we both work. Not easy these days..
 
2012-02-10 05:54:45 AM
Organisations that collect statistics don't like to change their methodology because it means you can't trust the "before" and "after" change parts of the series are showing actual changes in behaviour, or just the different way in which questions were asked, or answers were categorized.
 
2012-02-10 05:58:56 AM

publikenemy: This shiat really hits a nerve...


ditto. For different reasons. My mom was a an awful parent. Left the house when I was 10, and throughout my entire upbringing she contributed less than nothing to my psychological health.
My dad did it on his own, and it wasn't easy. I'll admit, I was a handful -he worked a full time job, still made time to coach the soccer team and take me on vacations -did everything.
Now I'm a 20-something upwardly mobile professional and I owe it all to my dad. Every time I hear people talk about "deadbeat dads" with the implicit assumption that the woman is always the ideal parent it makes me wanna punch them.

/true story bro.
 
2012-02-10 05:59:50 AM

AbbeySomeone: Cormee: SquiggelyGrounders: Cormee: AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?

Because some people like
a/ Kids
and
b/ Being able to pay the mortgage

So they are kind of a mix of status symbol and pet, like a Thoroughbred horse.

Idiotic conclusion, but I'll bite anyway.

No, they're children. Children whose parents want to provide for them as best they can, children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.

I know it's weird, but it's almost as if you can plan ahead on something this important.


What? Plan to have my mortgage paid off by the time my child is born? Are you actually serious?
 
2012-02-10 06:04:50 AM

Cormee: children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.


itthing.com

That's what I say, but whenever I get out the big knife, the damned kid hides.
 
2012-02-10 06:08:55 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-02-10 06:17:50 AM
images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-02-10 06:19:11 AM

cassanovascotian: publikenemy: This shiat really hits a nerve...

ditto. For different reasons. My mom was a an awful parent. Left the house when I was 10, and throughout my entire upbringing she contributed less than nothing to my psychological health.
My dad did it on his own, and it wasn't easy. I'll admit, I was a handful -he worked a full time job, still made time to coach the soccer team and take me on vacations -did everything.
Now I'm a 20-something upwardly mobile professional and I owe it all to my dad. Every time I hear people talk about "deadbeat dads" with the implicit assumption that the woman is always the ideal parent it makes me wanna punch them.

/true story bro.


Count your blessings, dude. I never got to know my father, because my mother divorced him when I was three. For years, I was treated to harrowing tales of how abusive he was, how she barely got out alive, how she refused child support from him because she didn't want him to find us, etc.

Then came my teen years. Mom, in her instinctive maternal goodness, kept them lively by frequently smacking for no apparent reason, then running out of the house (We lived on a farm.), screaming for my stepfather to come help her because I was "going crazy on her." I got the hell out of there the day I turned eighteen, went into the Army, and got an education. Years later, I found out from mutual acquaintances/family that I'd apparently spent my teenage years with severe drug problems and that I'd beaten my mother up several times. This wasn't just an exaggeration, it was a pack of totally-pulled-out-of-her-ass lying bullsh*t. (Unless, of course, you count the times I put up an arm to block an incoming smack, at which time I was "raising a hand to her," which, by God she didn't take from my father and wasn't going to take from me, either.)

Oddly, she never, ever pulled this sh*t when there was anyone else around to see it. It's almost as if she -- Oh, I don't know. -- understood exactly what she was doing.

She died a couple of years ago. I'm not happy she's gone, but I don't miss her, either.
 
2012-02-10 06:19:17 AM

My Bologna Has A Maiden Name: Cormee: children whose parents realise that sacrifices must be made, whether they like it or not.

[itthing.com image 413x421]

That's what I say, but whenever I get out the big knife, the damned kid hides.


Certainly one way of getting around the childcare cost issue
 
2012-02-10 06:20:03 AM

AbbeySomeone: I've noticed that many men claim to be babysitting when they are taking care of their kids but when the mother stays home she is doing nothing all day, doesn't have a job, etc.

Kenny B: Became a stay at home Dad when I was paying a grand a month to have daycare watch my kids while I worked on the road & the wife worked fulltime. Kids need a constant, not depending upon others to watch/raise your kids for you.

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?


Why have kids? To pass on your genes and have a prayer that someone will take care of you in your old age.

As far as having someone else raise them... last I checked in most human civilizations children are raised by a community of people. Grandparents. Teachers. Clergy. Siblings. Cousins. Uncles. Aunts. AND Parents.

The fact that our "society" considers parenthood to be a communicable disease that has to be self-treated is our loss.
 
2012-02-10 06:26:27 AM

Matthew Keene: What do you call it when the ex doesn't follow a shared parenting agreement, moves out of state and goes into hiding?


The reason why we have suicide prevention hotlines.
 
2012-02-10 06:28:25 AM
img15.imageshack.us
...and what's so odd about the man looking after the kids while the gals are out making a living?
 
2012-02-10 06:33:33 AM
dear subby, what means, "When the mother is in responsible..."

??????
 
2012-02-10 06:37:28 AM
This very arrangement of Dad as primary caregiver is why our family got labeled as "non-traditional" by the powers that be when we looked at fostering and adopting kids. The private, religious, groups were horrified. I guess they thought we were unnatural. The state agencies love us. For a lot of kids, having an example of a ready, willing and able male is a revelation. Too many weak women choose poorly when procreating, and the kids suffer. Most men are quite able to teach a kid independence and self-worth, but only a few are given the chance off the athletic fields. Everybody just assumes they are perverts-in-waiting.

/steps off soapbox
 
2012-02-10 06:41:34 AM

Evil Twin Skippy: As far as having someone else raise them... last I checked in most human civilizations children are raised by a community of people. Grandparents. Teachers. Clergy. Siblings. Cousins. Uncles. Aunts. AND Parents.


You may want to contact the Census Bureau and your local child services organization to clear up that misconception. By the way, the IRS may also want to have a conversation with you on how many dependents they are claiming.
 
2012-02-10 06:48:09 AM
AbbeySomeone:

True. Why have kids at all if someone else is going to raise them?

I'm sort of on the fence when it comes to child care. I thoroughly believe that kids need involved, attentive parenting (not to the helicopter parent level, but involved), but they also need socialization from a young age. Child care is a good alternative to the "it takes a village" model until they start school.
 
2012-02-10 06:49:23 AM
I work nights and have been for 10 years. I am home when my daughters get home from school. I help them with homework, take them to a ball diamond to work on pitching, fielding, hitting and strategy, cook dinner, take them to Taekwondo/dance/girl scouts or whatever else they are into at the time and often read with the youngest at her bedtime. I coach both softball teams. The only sleep I get is the time between dropping off the youngest at school and then picking her up. That time is for sleeping, working out, running errands cleaning and finding time for myself. I get at best 4 hours of sleep a day and put in a full 8 hours before I go to work "babysitting" my kids.

In the likelyhood of a divorce (which I don't predict ever happening), both of my daughters would choose to live with me. I know this for a fact. My oldest calls her mother "the warden". Dad is the social liberal of the house hold.

For the record, It doesn't "take a village". It takes one attentive, caring parent who puts their kids needs before their own.

The Census and anyone who still thinks that way can go fark themselves with a hot curling iron.
 
2012-02-10 06:49:23 AM
Naturally. I'm sure there will be a "parenting standard" differential as well. This, ladies, is the type of shiat that is only going to make good fathers harder and harder to find.
 
2012-02-10 06:50:03 AM
Day_Old_Dutchie:
[img15.imageshack.us image 362x400]
...and what's so odd about the man looking after the kids while the gals are out making a living?


Male lions are some of nature's most fearsome beasts, but honestly, with cubs around, they always look like... well, like I (parent of a 4-month-old) feel. Harrowed.
 
2012-02-10 06:52:37 AM
Anybody who enters a marital contract with a woman and fathers children with her, in this climate of pseudo feminist, out and out misandry and codified second class citizenship for men in all matters familial, needs a shrink. Don't want to be a "sperm donor"? Don't donate.
 
2012-02-10 06:53:24 AM
My wife at the time left me and my baby girl when she was barely a year old. She doesn't pay support, called only a few times last year (bday not being one of them), and has concreted her lack of care in my daughter's mind.

One thing my girl says to me "Papa..u are special"

ps ..!.. the census
 
Skr
2012-02-10 07:03:12 AM
Heh. The Dads are also more likely to get the police called on them, if they are spotted in public alone with their children.

Older male with young child! Must be a kidnapping!
 
2012-02-10 07:05:17 AM

Matthew Keene: What do you call it when the ex doesn't follow a shared parenting agreement, moves out of state and goes into hiding?


Either "good riddance" or "What did you do?"

Glad to read about fathers taking time to be with their kids - they'll (and you'll) be happier, healthier people. (:
 
2012-02-10 07:10:09 AM
I was shipped off to my father at age eleven when my mother couldn't figure out how to deal with me. That man rose to the challenge and was both mother and father to me in ways I can't explain. In this instance, he really was the better choice for the job. Thanks Dad.

/csb
 
2012-02-10 07:12:37 AM

markfara:
Oddly, she never, ever pulled this sh*t when there was anyone else around to see it. It's almost as if she -- Oh, I don't know. -- understood exactly what she was doing.


Oh, I understand that part very well. My mother always on overkill mode when I was a kid when no one was around. I'm sure some people think I made things up but I know damn well what happened. The only real proof is the time she took me to the family doctor at his house to get me stitches so she wouldn't get in trouble.

Knew what they were doing, brain so twisted they think they did nothing wrong.
 
2012-02-10 07:20:42 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: [img15.imageshack.us image 362x400]
...and what's so odd about the man looking after the kids while the gals are out making a living?


You've apparently overlooked those tears of "joy".
 
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