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(Physics World)   Researchers develop way to scan liquids that may allow travelers to carry on enough vodka to relieve the stress of the TSA screening, Southwest boarding process   (physicsworld.com) divider line 106
    More: Hero, Institute of Physics, TSA, southwest, boarding, webinar, chronic stress, simulations  
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6338 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Feb 2012 at 6:32 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-02-09 08:16:53 PM  

ronaprhys: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

No kids myself, but here are my general tips for making flying easier:

-If you're traveling with kids, I'd suggest checking all of the luggage you can and potentially even shipping some of it ahead of time if you can.
-Any liquids must be in the quart bag, less than 3oz containers. Make sure you can get that bag out quickly and easily when in the security line.
-Same with computers or other large electronics.
-Get there early. Sure, you might have to entertain the kids a bit longer, but being rushed will suck balls.
-Plan early so you can get seats all together. Asking people to split up can work, but not always.
-Make shoes easy to remove, make sure they wear t-shirts and that their pants stay up without belts. Going through security screening is all about making the process quick and painless. With kids you'll have some unique challenges and since TSA gives not a single damn about how your kids feel, making sure that they can get through the lines quickly and easily will be paramount to your enjoyment and piece of mind.

That's about it off the top of my head.


Also--another forum you might be able to get some good tips on is FlyerTalk which actually has a forum on travelling with kidlets, and folks who share experiences and such.

As far as TSA--there is a site monitoring which security zones do and do not have the "scope-and-grope" going; if you've got kids, I highly recommend trying to go through lines without scope-and-grope if at all possible (less traumatic for kids, also less chance of giving the kids scrambled chromosomes because the nude-o-scopes unfortunately aren't tested well for radiation leakage). Of note--Southwest security lines (and security lines at airport terminals where Southwest tends to be the dominant provider) DO tend to have less of a chance at scope-and-grope in my experience; in areas with multiple airports, those serving the budget lines also tend to be less problematic in this regard.

/prefers Southwest, because pretty much they and Frontier are the only lines servicing my area that DON'T use Embraer or CanadaJet Fischer-Price-scale planes or turboprops (yes, I'm serious; pretty much the only real airline that does flights out of SDF with a 737 or above other than Southwest is UPS, and it's not exactly legal to ship yourself via UPS somewhere :P)
//as a result of the above, pretty much there IS no such thing as business class--not unless I actually want to drive to Cincinnati (which literally has the most expensive ticket rates in the US thanks to a Delta monopoly) or Indianapolis or Chicago...so Southwest really ISN'T that different from flying the "commuter lines" of the big airlines
///does wish we had JetBlue here though, just for some competition
 
2012-02-09 08:21:16 PM  

ronaprhys: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

No kids myself, but here are my general tips for making flying easier:

-If you're traveling with kids, I'd suggest checking all of the luggage you can and potentially even shipping some of it ahead of time if you can.
-Any liquids must be in the quart bag, less than 3oz containers. Make sure you can get that bag out quickly and easily when in the security line.
-Same with computers or other large electronics.
-Get there early. Sure, you might have to entertain the kids a bit longer, but being rushed will suck balls.
-Plan early so you can get seats all together. Asking people to split up can work, but not always.
-Make shoes easy to remove, make sure they wear t-shirts and that their pants stay up without belts. Going through security screening is all about making the process quick and painless. With kids you'll have some unique challenges and since TSA gives not a single damn about how your kids feel, making sure that they can get through the lines quickly and easily will be paramount to your enjoyment and piece of mind.

That's about it off the top of my head.


Thanks a bunch! We already knew about the liquids thing, and we're flying American so we'll have seats next to one another (they were cheaper than Southwest). I don't like the idea of having my kids on the other end of the plane from me! I'll be wearing ballet flats but the boys will be wearing tennis shoes; we have a 4-hour layover in DFW so I don't want them in uncomfortable shoes. I don't know how far apart our arrival & departure terminals will be in DFW, so I'm trying to make sure that everybody has on comfortable walking shoes. I'm also going to have my woven wrap for the toddler; it's basically a long piece of fabric (no buckles or snaps) and I can toss him on my back and carry him around like a backpack. He loves it, it keeps him out of the way of other passengers (who might not be paying attention to little ones), and it keeps him from dawdling or taking too long.) I didn't think about the computer thing. I was planning on taking my Netbook and the older ones (8 & 10) are taking their Nintendo DS's. I'll make sure that their DS case is easy to get to.

I am NOT looking forward to this flight! On the plus side, we'll be leaving from our small regional airport, so I doubt we'll have any problems getting through security on this end. I've been out there several times to pick up friends and have NEVER seen a line at security. But coming back, we'll be leaving from Charlotte, and I don't know how hard or easy their security is going to be. If I had a choice, we would drive. But the drive would take 3-4 days, I'll be the only adult, and I'll be 27 weeks pregnant. And we HAVE to take this trip; their dad (my hubby) is graduating from basic training and we HAVE to be there. So I am terrified that something is going to go haywire, but we don't have much of a choice.
 
2012-02-09 08:24:10 PM  
Begin vent:

I just flew back to the US through Hong Kong (HKK). I haven't flown to Asia in over a year, and the last time I went it was through Tokyo (NRT).

I always buy myself a bottle of water to take on the plane because I tend to get very thirsty, and the small cups of water provided just tease.

I transferred from a flight from Bangkok and bought a bottle of water before going through the "transfer security" to go on to the next flight to the US. They wouldn't let me through with the water I'd just bought there in the terminal. OK...Fine. I drank it and moved on.

Once I cleared the internal security I bought another bottle of water.

As I approached the gate, I saw that they were hand screening all passengers...Going through their carry-on bags at the gate. They would not allow me to take on board my unopened bottle of water, that I had purchased AFTER clearing security, at a store in the terminal.

I told the the head of the security detail that it made no sense. The water was from a shop just down the terminal a few dozen yards. I explained that even in the US I was allowed to buy a bottle of water in the terminal, after security, and bring it on the plane. He said that it was a requirement of the US government that no water be brought on the plane, from any source.

I'm not sure whether to believe him or not, but I'm still moderately pissed.

And of course I had to spend the 10-hour flight feeling constantly thirsty, even though I made a point of getting up for water on a regular basis.

Does anyone know what the real deal is? I wasn't stopped at Narita back in late 2010. Is this something new? Is it just HKK?
 
2012-02-09 08:25:24 PM  

downstairs: The Southwest boarding process is the best if you're not lazy. Print your tickets very close to the beginning of the 24 hour window... and you'll pretty much be guarunteed to be right up front with the pick of the best seats.


You don't even need to print your boarding pass when you check in. Once you get assigned you can print it out at a kiosk on your way to security.

Never understood the hatred for SW's boarding policy. It might be 5 minutes of being treated like cattle, but no matter who you fly with you're treated like sardines in a can for at least an hour anyway.
 
2012-02-09 08:32:44 PM  

lostcat: He said that it was a requirement of the US government that no water be brought on the plane, from any source.


You can bring empty bottles through security. You probably could've poured out the bottle and then asked the flight attendants to fill it once onboard.
 
2012-02-09 08:32:53 PM  
Notes on DFW: It's an odd airport, but not particularly difficult to get around in. If you've got any distance to go, take their tram thing. Easy to use and it gets you there quickly. However, the gates themselves are small and somewhat crowded. I've found the people there to be pretty nice for the most part, so if you get to your gate right after the earlier flight departs you can generally get a nice set of seats to hang out in.

Charlotte has a pretty nice airport, all in all. Something like 127 different Starbucks there. In between the A/B/C/D terminals is a large foodcourt/shopping area. Once you're through security you should be right there. It's pretty easy to hang out there prior to hitting your gate. Gates themselves are generally larger for the bigger flights and you've got options.

I don't remember how Charlotte's security is, though. I normally just fly through the airport instead of actually getting out there.
 
2012-02-09 08:34:32 PM  

oren0: lostcat: He said that it was a requirement of the US government that no water be brought on the plane, from any source.

You can bring empty bottles through security. You probably could've poured out the bottle and then asked the flight attendants to fill it once onboard.


Smart!

I'll do that next time. And I won't buy that all-natural mineral-spring organic water.
 
2012-02-09 08:44:28 PM  

morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?


Carry on your luggage and check the kids. If your lucky, they'll lose the kids for a week and you'll get a nice vacation.

If that doesn't float your boat, a teaspoon of benidril each for the kiddoes and a shot of your favorite adult beverage per hour of flight for yourself.
 
2012-02-09 08:45:53 PM  

MaxxLarge: The last time I gave up and flew,
They took all my liquids and goo.
It just seems unstable
To think I'd be able
To hijack a plane with shampoo.


Haven't seen you in a while dude. Glad you've not lost your touch.
 
2012-02-09 08:52:04 PM  

maxis_mydog: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

Carry on your luggage and check the kids. If your lucky, they'll lose the kids for a week and you'll get a nice vacation.

If that doesn't float your boat, a teaspoon of benidril each for the kiddoes and a shot of your favorite adult beverage per hour of flight for yourself.


ronaprhys: Notes on DFW: It's an odd airport, but not particularly difficult to get around in. If you've got any distance to go, take their tram thing. Easy to use and it gets you there quickly. However, the gates themselves are small and somewhat crowded. I've found the people there to be pretty nice for the most part, so if you get to your gate right after the earlier flight departs you can generally get a nice set of seats to hang out in.

Charlotte has a pretty nice airport, all in all. Something like 127 different Starbucks there. In between the A/B/C/D terminals is a large foodcourt/shopping area. Once you're through security you should be right there. It's pretty easy to hang out there prior to hitting your gate. Gates themselves are generally larger for the bigger flights and you've got options.

I don't remember how Charlotte's security is, though. I normally just fly through the airport instead of actually getting out there.


Fortunately, our layovers in DFW are about 3-4 hours (each time!). I did NOT want a short layover! The way it works out, we'll be hitting DFW in time for lunch. If we're actually on time and we have some time to kill, we might go hang out in the USO lounge between flights if we have time to kill. And hopefully security in Charlotte won't be that bad.

Thanks!

maxis_mydog: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

Carry on your luggage and check the kids. If your lucky, they'll lose the kids for a week and you'll get a nice vacation.

If that doesn't float your boat, a teaspoon of benidril each for the kiddoes and a shot of your favorite adult beverage per hour of flight for yourself.


I lol'ed! :)

There IS a reason that I authorized their grandparents to get them all Nintendo DS's for Christmas! They don't get their DS's very often; because of their age, we keep them put up and away unless we have a long trip to make or they win some time on them as a special reward. As a result, they can usually be entertained with them for HOURS without a peep (especially with headphones!). They don't know it yet, but I'm planning to buy them each a new Zelda or Lego game just before the trip so that I can make SURE they're occupied! Electronics: the bigger kid's version of Benadryl!

As for the toddler, he's the one I'm not sure about. I'm hoping I can put a movie on my Netbook and let him watch it with headphones, but we'll see whether that works out or not. He's still at that age where he throws fits a LOT, so we're trying to train that out of him before the trip and we're planning on LOTS of distractions, games, snacks, etc. Hopefully it will work!
 
2012-02-09 08:59:04 PM  
Here's my CSB

I used to fly Southwest all the time out of Nashville. I'd check in early, get my Group A or whatever card and try to get the vaunted exit row window. I'm 6'5 and 250 and have long legs.

Post 9/11 they were doing that secondary screening at the gate thing and randomly pulled people out of line to go through our stuff again. The guy they pulled out in front of me was a little crazy and had apparently cleaned out an entire desk into his carry on and brief case. Things like stacks of Dixie Cups, staples, staplers, paper weights, etc. As the TSA agents methodically pulled out each odd object, stared at it bemusedly and then moved on to the next random thing, I watched the entire plane fill up. When I finally got out from behind Rainman, the entire plane was full and I got to ride to LA squeezed between two fatties with my knees jammed into the table tray bracket.

I never flew again where I didn't know that I had an exit row or 1st class seat reserved for me.

/grrrr
// miss their genuinely cheerful flight crews.
 
2012-02-09 09:00:06 PM  

morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?


Just know that it's going to take longer and be stressful. Like, KNOW it, so that as it's happening it's not big deal because of course it's stressful. Also, get a portable DVD player / iPad with dual (triple?) headphones.
 
2012-02-09 09:00:54 PM  
Almost nothing short of an RPG and a sack of rockets could relieve the stress of a Southwest boarding, however.
 
2012-02-09 09:04:50 PM  

pudding7: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

Just know that it's going to take longer and be stressful. Like, KNOW it, so that as it's happening it's not big deal because of course it's stressful. Also, get a portable DVD player / iPad with dual (triple?) headphones.


We're actually flying in a full day before we need to be there. If all goes well, we'll have an extra day to figure out where everything's at, swim in the hotel pool, veg out, and recover from the flight. If all DOESN'T go well, we'll (hopefully!) have an extra day in case we get bumped, detained at security & miss the last flight out, etc. I'm fine with taking a more leisurely pace. My biggest concern right now is the kids. The older two will be fine - they have their video games! I like the idea of the portable DVD player with headphones - I'll probably do that with the baby at least.
 
2012-02-09 09:05:46 PM  
Tell the curbside check-in people you need a wheelchair, they or the ticket person will give you one, and most likely reprint your ticket with a handicap designator, either way, a person in a wheel chair and at least one person with them gets to board first. Even if you only "need" the wheelchair up to the gate. It also gets you through security very quickly. I was amazed how well this went when I flew southwest last month. Only downside is they probably won't let you in the exit row, but you can get in the first row.

/I have a current back injury that isn't evident from looking at me, but it was amazing service with no required documentation.
 
2012-02-09 09:12:00 PM  

beer4breakfast: Never understood the hatred for SW's boarding policy. It might be 5 minutes of being treated like cattle, but no matter who you fly with you're treated like sardines in a can for at least an hour anyway.


Flying ~3h max like that is tolerable, longer than that and I need a real seat.
 
2012-02-09 09:13:25 PM  

morgantx: maxis_mydog: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

Carry on your luggage and check the kids. If your lucky, they'll lose the kids for a week and you'll get a nice vacation.

If that doesn't float your boat, a teaspoon of benidril each for the kiddoes and a shot of your favorite adult beverage per hour of flight for yourself.

ronaprhys: Notes on DFW: It's an odd airport, but not particularly difficult to get around in. If you've got any distance to go, take their tram thing. Easy to use and it gets you there quickly. However, the gates themselves are small and somewhat crowded. I've found the people there to be pretty nice for the most part, so if you get to your gate right after the earlier flight departs you can generally get a nice set of seats to hang out in.

Charlotte has a pretty nice airport, all in all. Something like 127 different Starbucks there. In between the A/B/C/D terminals is a large foodcourt/shopping area. Once you're through security you should be right there. It's pretty easy to hang out there prior to hitting your gate. Gates themselves are generally larger for the bigger flights and you've got options.

I don't remember how Charlotte's security is, though. I normally just fly through the airport instead of actually getting out there.

Fortunately, our layovers in DFW are about 3-4 hours (each time!). I did NOT want a short layover! The way it works out, we'll be hitting DFW in time for lunch. If we're actually on time and we have some time to kill, we might go hang out in the USO lounge between flights if we have time to kill. And hopefully security in Charlotte won't be that bad.

Thanks!

maxis_mydog: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

Carry on your luggage and check the kids. If your lucky, they'll lose the kids for a week and you'll get a nice vacation.

If that doesn't float your boat, a teaspoon of benidril each for the kiddoes and a shot of your favorite adult beverage per hour of flight for yourself.

I lol'ed! :)

There IS a reason that I authorized their grandparents to get them all Nintendo DS's for Christmas! They don't get their DS's very often; because of their age, we keep them put up and away unless we have a long trip to make or they win some time on them as a special reward. As a result, they can usually be entertained with them for HOURS without a peep (especially with headphones!). They don't know it yet, but I'm planning to buy them each a new Zelda or Lego game just before the trip so that I can make SURE they're occupied! Electronics: the bigger kid's version of Benadryl!

As for the toddler, he's the one I'm not sure about. I'm hoping I can put a movie on my Netbook and let him watch it with headphones, but we'll see whether that works out or not. He's still at that age where he throws fits a LOT, so we're trying to train that out of him before the trip and we're planning on LOTS of distractions, games, snacks, etc. Hopefully it will work!


For the electronics: They WILL make you shut them down and stow them from the time the door closes until the plane gets to 10,000 feet, and then again during descent from 10,000 to landing. The netbook will have to stay stowed after landing, but cell phones, and probably the DS will be OK.

I would probably just leave it all stowed until you are settled in at your gates at DFW, so you can get everyone off the plane together. Assuming that you land on time at DFW, since you have a posse, you might just wait until most everyone around you is off before you try to herd the kids and whatever carry on you have.

You may want headphones for the kids DS systems, and definitely for the netbookk. You can't hear on airplanes with all the background unless you crank the volume and then the crew
might tell you to turn it down.

Last thing; Thank your husband for his service.
 
2012-02-09 09:24:38 PM  

Unobtanium: For the electronics: They WILL make you shut them down and stow them from the time the door closes until the plane gets to 10,000 feet, and then again during descent from 10,000 to landing. The netbook will have to stay stowed after landing, but cell phones, and probably the DS will be OK.

I would probably just leave it all stowed until you are settled in at your gates at DFW, so you can get everyone off the plane together. Assuming that you land on time at DFW, since you have a posse, you might just wait until most everyone around you is off before you try to herd the kids and whatever carry on you have.

You may want headphones for the kids DS systems, and definitely for the netbookk. You can't hear on airplanes with all the background unless you crank the volume and then the crew
might tell you to turn it down.

Last thing; Thank your husband for his service.


Thanks a bunch! We've got headphones for each DS, and we plan to wait and just get off the plane last since we've got plenty of time. We're basically planning on checking the car seat & one suitcase with all the clothes & stuff. Then the 8YO & 10YO will each have a small backpack with their DS's and a few snacks, books, etc. Then I'll have the diaper bag and stash my Netbook & purse in the diaper bag (but have them both so that I can pull them out at security). We're not taking much at ALL - I even went clothes shopping to find stuff that I can stash in the bottom of a suitcase and not have to take up much space! I think I'll stash their DS's in the diaper bag until we reach cruising altitude; that should solve the problem of them trying to get it out too early. And hopefully they'll be so excited about getting to ride on a plane (looking out the window at the tops of the houses, etc.) that they'll be distracted for a little while! :)

Thanks!
 
2012-02-09 09:40:15 PM  

Unobtanium: Last thing; Thank your husband for his service.


GAHHH!

/pet peav
//why not thank firemen and police for their service as publicly as we do our volunteer forces?
 
2012-02-09 09:40:25 PM  

morgantx: I'm also going to have my woven wrap for the toddler; it's basically a long piece of fabric (no buckles or snaps) and I can toss him on my back and carry him around like a backpack. He loves it, it keeps him out of the way of other passengers (who might not be paying attention to little ones), and it keeps him from dawdling or taking too long.)


It's been a couple years since I've flown with a baby in a wrap, but back then, I didn't have much success in going through security with the kiddo in the wrap, or even with the wrap on and tied and babe out. I'd have your toddler out of the wrap before it's your turn to be scanned, and send the wrap though the baggage scanner.

A bit of a pain, but *way* better than hauling a stroller all around with you!
 
2012-02-09 09:42:13 PM  

Capt.Plywood: morgantx: I'm also going to have my woven wrap for the toddler; it's basically a long piece of fabric (no buckles or snaps) and I can toss him on my back and carry him around like a backpack. He loves it, it keeps him out of the way of other passengers (who might not be paying attention to little ones), and it keeps him from dawdling or taking too long.)

It's been a couple years since I've flown with a baby in a wrap, but back then, I didn't have much success in going through security with the kiddo in the wrap, or even with the wrap on and tied and babe out. I'd have your toddler out of the wrap before it's your turn to be scanned, and send the wrap though the baggage scanner.

A bit of a pain, but *way* better than hauling a stroller all around with you!


Yeah, I'm not going to put him in the wrap until AFTER we get through security. But I have NO desire to mess with a stroller!
 
2012-02-09 09:44:46 PM  

AntonChigger: Yay its a Southwest Airlines thread!

/Fly Southwest whenever I can
//Never a problem
///Proves that an airline can operate without screwing over the customer


Sac, GTFO my Fark. Get back to lurking.

/You Chi*BONG*
 
2012-02-09 09:49:38 PM  
www.imnotbeautifullikeyou.com

Raman screening.


/ first Top Raman joke
/ I am disappoint
 
2012-02-09 09:55:39 PM  

Corvus: MaxxLarge: The last time I gave up and flew,
They took all my liquids and goo.
It just seems unstable
To think I'd be able
To hijack a plane with shampoo.

Yes because if something is in a shampoo bottle it can't possibly be anything else.


Yeah the wife told me about the weirdest case where a guy modified a shampoo bottle to be a device suited for anal pleasure. Pretty farking bizarre, considering how great shampoo bottles are for shoving up your ass in the first place. Try it.
 
2012-02-09 10:11:19 PM  
Given that the TSA's only function is to look like they're doing something by getting in your way as much as possible, which apparently comforts grandma, I don't see fast scanners getting any traction.
 
2012-02-09 10:16:46 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: downstairs: The Southwest boarding process is the best if you're not lazy. Print your tickets very close to the beginning of the 24 hour window... and you'll pretty much be guarunteed to be right up front with the pick of the best seats.

I'm taking Southwest on Sunday, so this is relevant to my interests.

Any tips, folks?


Thankfully I travel a lot for work so I get to fly business class on United regularly. In fact I'm on the road right now so it's DTW-ORD-PDX on Sunday. When I travel on my own dime it's SW or my miles on United. Like many have said make sure you're on your computer or phone exactly 24h before the flight to check in. You can generally try a few minutes before over and over to make sure you get a good boarding number. Don't queue up until the start boarding your group since it's a pain to stand there. They usually have good snacks for free - I like the cheese crackers. Take as many as you want - they don't care. If you are on a connection but staying on the same plane you can reboard before everyone and get a better seat. Also - free checked bags.
 
2012-02-09 10:35:15 PM  
Hero for figuring out whut, exactly?

Another expense for secure flight?

Exactly.

;)
 
2012-02-09 10:51:43 PM  

lohphat: Unobtanium: Last thing; Thank your husband for his service.

GAHHH!

/pet peav
//why not thank firemen and police for their service as publicly as we do our volunteer forces?


I think we SHOULD thank firemen. And doctors/nurses. And SOME police officers. I've been known to send a thank-you note to the police station when I've encountered or witnessed police officers doing something exceptionally helpful or nice. So I agree with you - we SHOULD thank them all!
 
2012-02-09 10:54:47 PM  

downstairs: The Southwest boarding process is the best if you're not lazy. Print your tickets very close to the beginning of the 24 hour window... and you'll pretty much be guarunteed to be right up front with the pick of the best seats.


This. Southwest's system is fast, efficient, and easy. Actually less chaotic than United, which would have a great system with Window-Middle-Aisle if they weren't always stopping the line for late arriving elites.
 
2012-02-09 11:00:47 PM  

morgantx: lohphat: Unobtanium: Last thing; Thank your husband for his service.

GAHHH!

/pet peav
//why not thank firemen and police for their service as publicly as we do our volunteer forces?

I think we SHOULD thank firemen. And doctors/nurses. And SOME police officers. I've been known to send a thank-you note to the police station when I've encountered or witnessed police officers doing something exceptionally helpful or nice. So I agree with you - we SHOULD thank them all!


Shouldas, wouldas, couldas, man.

We don't need to be reminded, as a person, how to be thankful in our world, yo. Please don't insult my experience nor my intelligence, friend. Thank where appropriate. Call out bullshiat where you find it. Be real. Blanket apologies are lame, and I am guilty of all I decry above...

We need to grow, friend.

We still can.

There is always time.

Seconded chances.

Change is hard...

Stand up.

Be strong.

;)
 
2012-02-09 11:18:36 PM  
I find it somewhat hard to believe SW had higher rates than AA. SW has some good military rates that you have to call to get. A note on DFW, it is farking huge. If you fly into gate C1 or something and you depart from C35, you are in for a very long walk.
 
2012-02-09 11:24:02 PM  
Most explosives are solids, not liquids, yet they do not ban solid materials.

Banning a phase of matter is just stupid.

/chemical engineer
 
2012-02-09 11:37:22 PM  

jshine: Most explosives are solids, not liquids, yet they do not ban solid materials.

Banning a phase of matter is just stupid.

/chemical engineer


Thank you.
 
2012-02-09 11:48:10 PM  

Lone Stranger: [www.imnotbeautifullikeyou.com image 634x480]

Raman screening.


/ first Top Raman joke
/ I am disappoint


How sad is it that I kinda want Ramen now? Haven't had it in years, even.
 
2012-02-10 12:09:32 AM  
I don't understand why the reserved-seat airlines don't just start boarding by row. Begin by calling anyone in the last five rows, then the next five rows, etc, until you get to the front. Then you don't have the assholes holding up the line, trying to put their overhead in the bin when it's obviously too large to fit, trying to decide exactly which row is best, etc.

I guess it'd screw the front few people for overhead bin space potentially, but whatever, it'd speed the process up immensely.

My biggest problem with Southwest is that it takes 30 minutes to board and 30 minutes to exit the damn plane because nobody knows how to do it in any sort of order.
 
2012-02-10 12:26:59 AM  
Pack a clean shirt for each of your kids in case they throw up. And one for you too in case they throw up on you. Learned this the hard way.
 
2012-02-10 12:44:52 AM  

lohphat: Unobtanium: Last thing; Thank your husband for his service.

GAHHH!

/pet peav
//why not thank firemen and police for their service as publicly as we do our volunteer forces?


Because police are armed criminals deserving only of scorn
 
2012-02-10 12:47:46 AM  
The biggest hindrance to TSA using these tools is the fact that the TSA is scared the TSO's will shine the lasers in their eyes, or the passenger's eyes and cause a lawsuit.

/seriously
//my firm did the health research on the laser exposure
 
2012-02-10 01:28:21 AM  
i know it's all anti-fark and all, but last time i flew, TSA and SWA were both great to me.

i had to take my dad's ashes back to bury with my mom in august, and i wasn't sure if the ash burial box would go through the xray machine since it was made of metal. they agreed to let me go through security once to test it, while my aunt stayed behind with my checked bags in case i had to check the ashes(i didn't want to check them for obvious reasons). they cleared the container, then let me leave the security area, return to my aunt, check my bags and go back through security with no further questions. they didn't follow me around the airport, or pat me down or anything.
 
2012-02-10 02:22:52 AM  

tnpir: For the life of me, I'll never understand the Southwest hatred.


I like Kevin Smith.
 
2012-02-10 03:19:35 AM  
Some PHD science types are going to have reminders of PTSD over this.
 
2012-02-10 07:12:29 AM  

Great Porn Dragon: ronaprhys: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

No kids myself, but here are my general tips for making flying easier:

-If you're traveling with kids, I'd suggest checking all of the luggage you can and potentially even shipping some of it ahead of time if you can.
-Any liquids must be in the quart bag, less than 3oz containers. Make sure you can get that bag out quickly and easily when in the security line.
-Same with computers or other large electronics.
-Get there early. Sure, you might have to entertain the kids a bit longer, but being rushed will suck balls.
-Plan early so you can get seats all together. Asking people to split up can work, but not always.
-Make shoes easy to remove, make sure they wear t-shirts and that their pants stay up without belts. Going through security screening is all about making the process quick and painless. With kids you'll have some unique challenges and since TSA gives not a single damn about how your kids feel, making sure that they can get through the lines quickly and easily will be paramount to your enjoyment and piece of mind.

That's about it off the top of my head.

Also--another forum you might be able to get some good tips on is FlyerTalk which actually has a forum on travelling with kidlets, and folks who share experiences and such.

As far as TSA--there is a site monitoring which security zones do and do not have the "scope-and-grope" going; if you've got kids, I highly recommend trying to go through lines without scope-and-grope if at all possible (less traumatic for kids, also less chance of giving the kids scrambled chromosomes because the nude-o-scopes unfortunately ...


Interestingly enough, the last time I flew with my kids (shut up, they're old enough to fly without being uber whiny), the TSA deliberately sent us through the metal detector instead of the body scanner (they were right next to each other). This was only a couple of months ago, too. My kids also got to leave their shoes on.

Interesting site, though. Thanks for sharing.
 
2012-02-10 07:56:53 AM  

ladyfortuna: Lone Stranger: [www.imnotbeautifullikeyou.com image 634x480]

Raman screening.


/ first Top Raman joke
/ I am disappoint

How sad is it that I kinda want Ramen now? Haven't had it in years, even.


You sound rich.
 
2012-02-10 08:04:39 AM  
You seem to think that the TSA operates to stop actual security threats, and not to make things arbitrarily obnoxious at airport security in order to provide the appearance that they're working hard to stop terrorists.
 
2012-02-10 08:12:42 AM  

indylaw: You seem to think that the TSA operates to stop actual security threats, and not to make things arbitrarily obnoxious at airport security in order to provide the appearance that they're working hard to stop terrorists.


So you're saying that it's similar to the people who put an "ADT Security" sign in their front yard, without actually having a security system in place?

Yeah, that makes sense.

/Not being sarcastic
 
2012-02-10 08:38:24 AM  

Arctic Phoenix: indylaw: You seem to think that the TSA operates to stop actual security threats, and not to make things arbitrarily obnoxious at airport security in order to provide the appearance that they're working hard to stop terrorists.

So you're saying that it's similar to the people who put an "ADT Security" sign in their front yard, without actually having a security system in place?

Yeah, that makes sense.

/Not being sarcastic


That, and similar to a security system contractor placing the sign in front without installing a useful system. When you enter the house through the front door you have to put up with shrill beeping and remember to key in the code correctly, and if you don't, there's an ear-piercing klaxon, but the system isn't actually designed to alert the police and the contractor didn't count on someone coming in through a window.
 
2012-02-10 09:02:40 AM  

pelzo63: i know it's all anti-fark and all, but last time i flew, TSA and SWA were both great to me.

i had to take my dad's ashes back to bury with my mom in august, and i wasn't sure if the ash burial box would go through the xray machine since it was made of metal. they agreed to let me go through security once to test it, while my aunt stayed behind with my checked bags in case i had to check the ashes(i didn't want to check them for obvious reasons). they cleared the container, then let me leave the security area, return to my aunt, check my bags and go back through security with no further questions. they didn't follow me around the airport, or pat me down or anything.


You were lucky.

http://consumerist.com/2012/01/woman-says-husbands-ashes-went-missin g- after-tsa-made-her-move-them-to-checked-baggage.html (new window)

Angeline says she was told by Transportation Security Administration officials that she couldn't bring the ashes through airport security with her as part of her carry-on baggage. So she went to the US Airways counter and placed them in her checked luggage and told WCAU-TV (via the Associated Press) that when she arrived in England, the ashes had disappeared.
...
The TSA's official site says passengers can carry cremated remains on board, as long as they're not in a container that appears opaque in the X-ray machine.
 
2012-02-10 09:39:17 AM  

morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?


I travel with kids (3) a lot.

1. Get *new* (could be from the used bin at Gamestop or wherever) Nintendo games for your kids.
2. Make sure everyone has headphones - if you have noise cancellation headphones for everyone (unlikely, but worth it if you travel often) so much the better.
3. I'm not morally opposed to a teaspoon or two of Benadryl (diphenydramine) for flyers under the age of 5. It really does make the trip more enjoyable for everyone involved - including innocent bystanders that might be less enamored with your dependents (aka crotchfruit - man, I hate that term).
4. Someone mentioned clean shirts for everyone - true dat!
5. Saltines / Crackers and new, empty sippy cups. For the youngsters, I find that giving them some exceptionally dry and salty crackers about 45 minutes before the scheduled landing of the flight, makes them want to drink some apple juice (provided by the flight attendant during the flight to fill the empty sippy cups you've brought on board) during the landing process. Drinking the juice solves the ear popping problem for kids. This works up to age 8 - the sippy cup will seem silly to them, but it works great. If you have no sippy cup, you won't be able to drink it while landing. I wish I could put some wine in mine.... come to think of it, I may try this.
6. Allow A LOT of time in the airport. You do not want the stress of being late, dealing with security, and the natural curiousity that your brood is going to have in the airport to cause your head to explode - and it will.
7. Put your youngest child in the seat that has the oldest person in the row in front of you. You're much less likely to get the stinkeye from an older person who is more likely to have experience with children / grandchildren when your kid inevitably does something obnoxious like kick the seat or stand up or talk.
8. Buy something at the airport that will make the experience (of being cooped up in a metal tube for hours) special for your kids - could be a toy airplane for the little one, could be a "diary of a wimpy kid" book for an older one. It shouldn't be a caffeinated beverage or candy.

The only other tips I have, and these aren't flight related are:
a. rent a house or a condo from VRBO instead of staying in a hotel. Having a quiet room for naps makes everyone's vacation better.
b. don't overschedule. Make sure there are at least 4 hours a day where you have nothing planned.
c. rent a minivan.
d. buy a ball when you get on the ground. As a father of 3 boys under age 11, there is nothing better than a round ball to help your kids acclimatize to their new surroundings. I don't know if this will work with girls.

Hope this helps. Good Luck flying. You're going to irritate those that haven't experienced parenting regardless of what you do, so don't try too hard to keep them happy. There is no solution for this.
 
2012-02-10 09:43:36 AM  

Zeromus-X: My biggest problem with Southwest is that it takes 30 minutes to board and 30 minutes to exit the damn plane because nobody knows how to do it in any sort of order.


I flew a couple weeks ago from BWI to Orlando on Southwest. The plane was on the ground, from the time it pulled up to the gate, to the time it pushed away, a total of 35 minutes. They have this thing down to a science, so if you haven't flown them for awhile, you may want to give it another shot.
 
2012-02-10 09:52:27 AM  

omgwtfbbq69: morgantx: Question for the Fark Frequent Flyer Club:

I'm going to be flying in about a month and a half with three children (including one toddler). Aside from the obvious (make sure they're entertained, have plenty of snacks, and are able to behave on the plane), what tips should I know? I haven't flown in over 10 years, and I've NEVER flown with kiddos. Anything that might help?

I travel with kids (3) a lot.

1. Get *new* (could be from the used bin at Gamestop or wherever) Nintendo games for your kids.
2. Make sure everyone has headphones - if you have noise cancellation headphones for everyone (unlikely, but worth it if you travel often) so much the better.
3. I'm not morally opposed to a teaspoon or two of Benadryl (diphenydramine) for flyers under the age of 5. It really does make the trip more enjoyable for everyone involved - including innocent bystanders that might be less enamored with your dependents (aka crotchfruit - man, I hate that term).
4. Someone mentioned clean shirts for everyone - true dat!
5. Saltines / Crackers and new, empty sippy cups. For the youngsters, I find that giving them some exceptionally dry and salty crackers about 45 minutes before the scheduled landing of the flight, makes them want to drink some apple juice (provided by the flight attendant during the flight to fill the empty sippy cups you've brought on board) during the landing process. Drinking the juice solves the ear popping problem for kids. This works up to age 8 - the sippy cup will seem silly to them, but it works great. If you have no sippy cup, you won't be able to drink it while landing. I wish I could put some wine in mine.... come to think of it, I may try this.
6. Allow A LOT of time in the airport. You do not want the stress of being late, dealing with security, and the natural curiousity that your brood is going to have in the airport to cause your head to explode - and it will.
7. Put your youngest child in the seat that has the oldest person i ...


And don't put your coat in the overhead, ever. The overhead needs to be reserved for people with big carryon bags, a coat can go in front of you under the seat.

/Hates coats in the overhead
//Removes them and gives them to the owner, always backed up by the stewardesses.
 
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