thought this was going to be about CLUEDO™

xzibit meme in
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Fun fact: Congo was originally based on Barrel of Monkeys

A little late for a Jumanji video game isn't it?

FTFA: "players fend off the enemy beachside"

Er, what's an "enemy beachside"? Are there allied beachsides, too? What the fark kind of game IS this?

I'm pretty sure that movie is based on random crap the studio pulled from a focus group's ass, in order to come up with a summer movie, not the board game.

"Well, 'boats' and 'aliens' are polling neck-and-neck. Maybe we can fit both of those into the same picture..."

Now all we need is a comic book based on the video game based on movie based on the board game and we can all go kill ourselves knowing that we will never see anything stupider.

Holy Crap: Now all we need is a comic book based on the video game based on movie based on the board game and we can all go kill ourselves knowing that we will never see anything stupider.

I'm still waiting for Coupon: The Movie to come out on video.

By 'based on' you mean 'shiat all over' right?

I'm looking forward to the movie, for a mindless only-in-it-for-the-explodie-special-affects and ignore-the-horrible-acting entertainment experience. Much like 90% of hollywood movies that have been released in the past 5 years (if not more).

RedPhoenix122: Smoking GNU: I'm looking forward to the movie, for a mindless only-in-it-for-the-explodie-special-affects and ignore-the-horrible-acting entertainment experience. Much like 90% of hollywood movies that have been released in the past 5 years (if not more).

IN 3-D!!!!

i don't think my graphics card would be able to handle that anymore.

RedPhoenix122: Smoking GNU: I'm looking forward to the movie, for a mindless only-in-it-for-the-explodie-special-affects and ignore-the-horrible-acting entertainment experience. Much like 90% of hollywood movies that have been released in the past 5 years (if not more).

IN 3-D!!!!

I think I saw that movie. Nature Trail to Hell, right?

Miss.

Amateurs.

///hot. Because I'm lazy

As long as the game includes a decent amount of Hawaii scenery porn (like the movie is supposed to), I have no problem with this. (Anything that gets tourists to fly here instead of somewhere else is a good thing.)

The movie could have a lot of potential if it lines up with the gameplay a little bit:

It starts off with the opponent firing a bit randomly at our hero's fleet while our hero makes a large grid sweep (with a 3 blank space offset so he can come back with a smaller grid later if needed). Our hero will take criticism for this tactic not only from his fellow shipmates but also from the opponent.

Soon the largest ships are burning and the CGI budget is soaring. Our swaggering hero will open communication with his opponent and clearly state "You've sunk my battleship" in a tone that can only mean the battle is just beginning. Part of the trailer will be made from this footage. Planes will be escaping from the carrier just as it explodes. It's a substantial loss, but at least the damage to each side is roughly even.

The submarine, destroyer, and patrol boat are given orders to move to where the enemy has already sweeped but all of their engines have been jammed by the opponents fearsome alien technology which also has the side effect of stopping them from moving while it's active. Everyone's dead in the water, but our hero continues on with gridded search.

Eventually only the two patrol boats remain. The casualties adrift in the ocean's current which still doesn't move the boat. Our hero curses the nature of war and the lack of a diplomatic solution. As he closes in the grid, he offers his opponent a chance to surrender only to hear a speech about how humans are vermin followed by more random shots into the ocean. His opponent never had a chance. Our hero fires another well-planned shot and finally hits the patrol boat.

His enemy panics a bit and his shots become more erratic. He needs to find our hero's boat and quick. It's only a matter of time before the other half of his boat is found. The water's exploding around the opponent's partial patrol boat, but he just keeps firing. The hero's closing in on him.

There's a pause. The radio crackles. Our hero states "Last chance, I know where you are."

The alien opponent thinks for a second and takes another shot. *click* The radio crackles "I need some more pegs."

The hero graciously shoots over a supply crate.

After unpacking the crate and reloading, the vicious alien opponent takes one last shot while diving into the water. It hits. Our hero is reeling from the damage. A small drip of blood graces his forehead, but he picks himself up and pulls the final trigger. While the shell is still in the air a one-liner comes across the opponents radio "I1."

The explosion is enormous. The alien opponent avoids a fiery death by swimming under the water. He may have lost, but he still needs to know where the rest of that patrol boat is. He swims across to the hero's side and curses his luck. He was going to shoot there earlier. He knew he was. Tired and defeated, he vows to one day fight the hero again.

As the camera backs away from the carnage, the theme song plays. Careful viewers will notice that both the hero and opponent are getting rescued by helicopter and transport beam respectively, but that's not the real point of this shot. Everywhere a shot missed, the water is still turbulent and white. It's almost everywhere. The shots they've been firing are now clearly visible as they're bright red and lodged half-way into each ship. The camera continues to move out and suddenly the world starts to fold in half. It becomes quickly apparent to the viewers that the world all fits in a plastic case that's about to shut. Suddenly, the closing stops. Wrecked ships appear to have crashed into wrecked ships above them. The world quickly reopens, the entire ocean is quickly cleaned up, and the world finally shuts successfully.

untaken_name: FTFA: "players fend off the enemy beachside"

Er, what's an "enemy beachside"? Are there allied beachsides, too? What the fark kind of game IS this?

It's kinda like Normandy where the Allies stormed the German beachside.

Activision, this is why no one likes you.

It's a great movie. The highlight is when Liam pulls a curveball and says "B-8". Defeated the aliens admit that they had just sunk their Battleship and flee to the other edge of the galaxy in shame. They totally left it open for a Connect 4 sequel though.

Somewhere Xzibit just divided by zero.

Oysterman: A little late for a Jumanji video game isn't it?

Thought the exact same thing when I read the headline.

The movie could be amazing if they added in a round of this



See how the aliens handle some Rohypnol

Dracolich: **snip*** Either you are Pocket Ninja, from the future, or an alien. No matter which, I farking hate you, but goddamnitsomuch, do I respect you.

it's been done, back in the 90's, then in the 2000 on the internet

Dracolich: The movie could have a lot of potential if it lines up with the gameplay a little bit:

That was absolutely brilliant.

/cheers

The actual movie seems like a cross between The Abyss and Battlefield LA.

Dracolich: The movie could have a lot of potential if it lines up with the gameplay a little bit:

It starts off with the opponent firing a bit randomly at our hero's fleet while our hero makes a large grid sweep (with a 3 blank space offset so he can come back with a smaller grid later if needed). Our hero will take criticism for this tactic not only from his fellow shipmates but also from the opponent.

Soon the largest ships are burning and the CGI budget is soaring. Our swaggering hero will open communication with his opponent and clearly state "You've sunk my battleship" in a tone that can only mean the battle is just beginning. Part of the trailer will be made from this footage. Planes will be escaping from the carrier just as it explodes. It's a substantial loss, but at least the damage to each side is roughly even.

The submarine, destroyer, and patrol boat are given orders to move to where the enemy has already sweeped but all of their engines have been jammed by the opponents fearsome alien technology which also has the side effect of stopping them from moving while it's active. Everyone's dead in the water, but our hero continues on with gridded search.

Eventually only the two patrol boats remain. The casualties adrift in the ocean's current which still doesn't move the boat. Our hero curses the nature of war and the lack of a diplomatic solution. As he closes in the grid, he offers his opponent a chance to surrender only to hear a speech about how humans are vermin followed by more random shots into the ocean. His opponent never had a chance. Our hero fires another well-planned shot and finally hits the patrol boat.

His enemy panics a bit and his shots become more erratic. He needs to find our hero's boat and quick. It's only a matter of time before the other half of his boat is found. The water's exploding around the opponent's partial patrol boat, but he just keeps firing. The hero's closing in on him.

There's a pause. The radio crackles. Our ...

This is... FANTASTIC!!!
I would watch this.

Now.. What about The Game of Life and Connect 4?

Based on the trailer, it looks like the script for Battleship was recycled from an aborted attempt to make a Star Blazers/Space Battleship Yamato live action movie. Those things falling reminded me of planet bombs, and there are aliens.

I hate to break it to you Activision, but the game has been made already. About 12 years ago Hasbro made Battleship: Surface Thunder. It has two modes, normal battleship with a variety of rules to play by, and adventure mode which takes you through a gauntlet of missions that pretty much tell you to destroy everything with a swastika on it.

So instead of reinventing the wheel and looking dumb as usual, how about releasing an IP you renewed the rights to and will never use because you fired that development group involved with it already. Crash deserved better than to be shoved into a closet never to be seen again.