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Vulcans dealing with Pon Farr, Microsoft defenestrating 200 workers, and Don Cornelius starting off Black History Month with a bang: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/29 - 2/4
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-02-08 9:02:47 PM (8 comments) | Permalink

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3402 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2012 at 9:18 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Nothing to add, here are the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-01-29 to Sat 2012-02-04:

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  Fourth-largest Spanish airline collapses. You'll have to forgive them; they're from Barcelona    
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  Government report says Japan's population will shrink by one third by 2060, which is shocking considering how short they already are now    
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  Nurseries urged to look for signs of drug-addicted babies, such as if the babies sleep a lot, soil themselves, or speak only in incoherent babble    
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  Man in clown costume robs convenience store, seen escaping in small car with 15 to 20 accomplices    
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  New tapes of the day JFK was shot were found back and to the left of the archive    
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  Couple who used a Facebook poll to decide the name of their child gives birth to a girl. So welcome to Penisface Bieber Meske    
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  Russian attack plane headed for Everett. WOLVERINES    
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  Vulcan man arrested for sexual assault. Look, there are better ways to deal with Pon Farr, dude    
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  Woman dies on her 110th birthday. Perhaps the surprise party was a bad idea    
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  Group of scientists searching the Antarctic for a lake buried for tens of millions of years suddenly stop responding to colleagues, Miskatonic officials    
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  The Decemberists have withdrawn their support of the Susan G. Komen foundation, Nicholas I    
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Sports:

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  Matt Cassel saves family from house fire. Also saves: cat, player piano, washer, dryer, grandfather clock, couch, vanity, dining set    
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  How to avoid a concussion in an MMA fight. Step 1: Don't be in an MMA fight    
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  Woman arrested after extortion of Yankees GM. Now Cashman finally knows how Yankee fans feel when they buy a hot dog and beer at the stadium    
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Geek:

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  Researchers say scratching feels better on certain parts of your body. Sounds like junk science to me    
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  NASA releases video of the dark side of the moon, which surprisingly syncs perfectly with the soundtrack to "The Wizard of Oz"    
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  Alien visitation is not going to happen. SLEEP. There is nothing on our planet that aliens would need. OBEY. If intelligent creatures exist on other planets they likely won't visit Earth. CONSUME    
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Entertainment:

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  Paul McCartney might write music for computer games. C:\HOWTHEY\RUN    
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  Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone 'doing flips', which is a pretty dumb nickname for her boyfriend, but whatever    
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  Don Cornelius starts Black History month off with a bang    
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Politics:

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  Mitt Romney says he "Mispoke" when he said that he "wasn't concerned about the very poor" and that what he meant to say was "I want to grind them up and use them for foodstuffs, no..wait..do over"    
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  Obama's 2005 Chrysler fails to sell on eBay. Buyers afraid that the car would start slowly, always pull to the left    
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  Ron Paul tells CNN there is a "Zero chance" that he will drop out of the GOP presidential race. It's still better odds than him actually being elected President    
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Business:

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  Donald Trump to build cemetery near his New Jersey golf course. Groundskeeper told to expect an additional 1000 people under him    
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  Sub-Zero loses, promptly performs fatalities on 100 jobs    
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  Microsoft defenestrates 200 workers    
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· · ·

8 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2012-02-08 10:26:43 PM  
This space reserved for the first witty comment. Sorry chumps.
 
2012-02-08 10:47:14 PM  
I'm going to hell for how hard i laughed at the Don Cornelius one.
 
2012-02-08 11:08:58 PM  
Don Cornelius headline is legendary and deserving of a place in Farklore
 
2012-02-08 11:23:09 PM  
"Researchers say scratching feels better on certain parts of your body. Sounds like junk science to me "

Pure gold there.
 
2012-02-08 11:34:36 PM  

labman: I'm going to hell for how hard i laughed at the Don Cornelius one.


Already Disturbed: Don Cornelius headline is legendary and deserving of a place in Farklore


Thanks!

/Subby
//That totally makes up for losing my job yesterday
 
2012-02-08 11:47:56 PM  
Oh, we're slipping 'till Wednesday now, are we?
 
2012-02-09 01:23:12 AM  
My favourite is "Microsoft defenestrates 200 workers."

And you should totally care about my opinion for some reason.
 
2012-02-09 01:55:38 AM  
Woo hoo! My Vulcan headline made the cut!

/getting a kick etc.
 
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