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(Beauty and Style)   Men are really stupid and need to be told what to carry by a fashion editor. For example, did you know that "pens are convenient for noting a phone number"?   (beautyandstyle.com) divider line 249
    More: Obvious, personal identification, Ray-Bans, phone numbers, fashions, editors  
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7530 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2012 at 4:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-08 05:16:46 PM

nytmare: Yeah, no, I'm not spending $1000 a year to write down phone numbers. The pen is mightier.


yes, but since our author neglected to suggest you also always carry some paper around, the pen loses much of its worth
 
2012-02-08 05:16:53 PM
I have two Cross pens so I am getting a kick out of these replies.

I only carry one at a time.
 
2012-02-08 05:18:06 PM
people still "write" phone numbers down when on the go?
 
2012-02-08 05:18:09 PM
A pen? People still write? Signing a credit card receipt I can see but most stores/gas stations/restaurants provide that for me.

/hasn't seen a hand written letter or document in many years.
 
2012-02-08 05:18:20 PM
Any list longer than "wallet, phone, keys, knife" is wrong.
 
2012-02-08 05:18:21 PM

gweilo8888: Real men kill with their hands, you p*ssy.


Those are for giving to my enemies so that they might have a fighting chance before I rip out their throats with my teeth.
 
2012-02-08 05:18:27 PM

ArcadianRefugee: While the article was completely stupid, can anyone recommend a good (style of) wallet? I actually am in the market for a new one.

/before the seams on this one vanish completely


I have a leather trifold that I got at walmart. It's brown, real leather, didn't cost a lot, has lasted 5 years, and actually looks really nice.
 
2012-02-08 05:18:49 PM

Headso: How can you HATE a brand of pen?


Cross pens are short and thin, which (for me) makes it hard to keep a grip on them. (That's what she said.) They tend to give me writer's cramp, which even cheap ballpoints don't do. For the life of me I have no idea how they stay in business, making pens that are hard to use.
 
2012-02-08 05:19:40 PM

gweilo8888: czei: What a farker carrying a "man bag" may look like:

[thestandupbanker.files.wordpress.com image 550x458]

Horizontally stretched?

JesseL: I see a list of mostly useless shiat that effete twats need in order to carry or deal with more useless shiat.

This is what a man carries:
[i100.photobucket.com image 640x480]


Real men kill with their hands, you p*ssy.


I prefer the cold dismissal of impersonally killing a man with heartless technology. That way he's denied the merest recognition as a living entity before his mortal coil expires.
 
2012-02-08 05:20:55 PM
If we're talking accessories for men, then the list fails without including a pocket knife/multi-tool. I use my Leatherman all the time.
 
2012-02-08 05:21:10 PM
ArcadianRefugee

While the article was completely stupid, can anyone recommend a good (style of) wallet? I actually am in the market for a new one.


badmofowallets.com
 
2012-02-08 05:21:33 PM
"I'll take the penis mightier for 500, Alex."
 
2012-02-08 05:21:52 PM
Dear Laura,

my messenger bag and pencil are in my pants

/Gimmie somethin' to write on
 
2012-02-08 05:22:53 PM
Pens are also handy for getting excess wax out of your ears, just don't use the pointy end. It takes forever to get it to write again if you do.
Important if you're Batman writing an important message.
/important
 
2012-02-08 05:23:13 PM

GoBadgers: A man should also carry a comb, in order to be well groomed at all times.

/Thanks dad!


This guy disagrees:

www.vindieselbiography.com
 
2012-02-08 05:23:28 PM
I like pie.
 
2012-02-08 05:23:35 PM
Who knew that a crap article about wallets and stuff would bring out all the ITGs?

I carry a Stinger missile rig in my back pocket, because I'm just so awesome I bend spacetime and the pocket is really an interdimensional rift. The rig sits right next to my flamethrower and portable harem.
 
2012-02-08 05:24:08 PM
For a minute there, I thought I was reading an article from Gawker Media (Gizmodo, Lifehacker, etc.)

Just about as inane and useless.
 
2012-02-08 05:24:47 PM

JesseL: gweilo8888: Real men kill with their hands, you p*ssy.

Those are for giving to my enemies so that they might have a fighting chance before I rip out their throats with my teeth.


Teeth are for wimps, I let my nails grow long and tear out their hearts with a single swipe.

Dude came at me with a Leatherman tool, I bit it in half and then tore out his spleen and showed it to him while he was dying.

"THIS IS YOUR SPLEEN, biatch!"
 
2012-02-08 05:25:10 PM

Profedius: I have two Cross pens so I am getting a kick out of these replies.

I only carry one at a time.


You should be dual-wielding your Cross pens arms akimbo.
 
2012-02-08 05:25:58 PM
dtdstudios.com
 
2012-02-08 05:26:28 PM
If you are reluctant to join the iPhone and Smartphone revolution, consider purchasing a Walmart Prepaid Cell Phone. Prepaid phones allow you to experiment with having a cell phone without committing to a contract.

Well, it's a little embarrassing, but I have to confess: I've always been a little phone-curious, but just wasn't sure if I was willing to experiment with that sort of thing. I mean, sure at first it's just a few calls between your close friends, but the next thing you know, it's 2 am and you're out getting texted by strangers or playing angry birds in a public bathroom. I just don't want to have that sort of lifestyle.

/Polling might not be too bad
//but being on the receiving end of a push notification?
///Yuck
 
2012-02-08 05:26:50 PM
Ignoring the advice in this article, I still managed to snag myself a wife.

CSB: when wifey and I met (at a house party) we spent the night together then the next morning she was getting a ride home. Saying goodbye at the front door, she wanted to give me my phone number. I didn't have a writing implement, or a portable medium to write on, and I can't remember shiat, so i said I'd get her number from a mutual friend of ours (the one who brought her to the party). She thought I was blowing her off since she didn't give up the coochie that night, but I did get the number and call her two days later.

She gave up the coochie then. We just had our second child last week.
 
2012-02-08 05:26:57 PM

This text is now purple: I prefer the cold dismissal of impersonally killing a man with heartless technology. That way he's denied the merest recognition as a living entity before his mortal coil expires.


I'm just lazy. In fact, it's why I carry a .45; I can't be bothered to fire more than once.

ArcadianRefugee: can anyone recommend a good (style of) wallet?


I've been carrying the same Columbia leather tri-fold every day for more than a decade, and it doesn't look worn-out at all. I think I'll get another two decades out of it. I know two other people who carry either the same or very similar wallet, and both are also in great shape.
 
2012-02-08 05:27:26 PM

Headso: Grandemadaca: I farkin' HATE cross pens

How can you HATE a brand of pen?


Easy. Cross pens basically suck. They skip, the screw-out mechanism wears out, the gold plate wears off, and they are overpriced. Oh, and idiots tend to steal them 'cause "L@@K it's a CROSS!!!" Finally, they are overpriced.

I own my own company and pull down decent money. I don't have to impress anybody. I use Office Depot Foray pens at about 50 cents each. they don't skip and seem to last forever. If I lose one I shrug and grab another from my desk.
 
2012-02-08 05:28:22 PM

Grandemadaca: FTFA: Some executives carry upscale pens, such as Cross Pens

Cross pens upscale? Bwahahahaha!

I farkin' HATE cross pens. Cheap shiat.

/I always carry a pen


Yeah, I wouldn't really call Cross an "upscale" pen. Mont Blanc, maybe. Cross? No.
 
2012-02-08 05:28:46 PM

Teen Wolf Blitzer: A much better list:

1. Mini-leatherman
2. Flask
3. Business card
4. Condoms
5. Shamwow


This is how you troll Douglas Adams fans.
 
2012-02-08 05:28:47 PM
Since so many of you are advocating a knife to carry, do you have any good recommendations? My Swiss Army knife is getting old and beat up. No Leatherman/SOG/Gerber multitools, please. Just a simple, fairly small knife. Lock-blade nice, but optional.
 
2012-02-08 05:29:00 PM
all I need is a piece of cold steel and my balls
 
2012-02-08 05:30:14 PM

ChubbyTiger: Since so many of you are advocating a knife to carry, do you have any good recommendations? My Swiss Army knife is getting old and beat up. No Leatherman/SOG/Gerber multitools, please. Just a simple, fairly small knife. Lock-blade nice, but optional.


You want a knife that can gut a man with a single swipe
 
2012-02-08 05:30:23 PM

TravisBickle62: JesseL: gweilo8888: Real men kill with their hands, you p*ssy.

Those are for giving to my enemies so that they might have a fighting chance before I rip out their throats with my teeth.

Teeth are for wimps, I let my nails grow long and tear out their hearts with a single swipe.

Dude came at me with a Leatherman tool, I bit it in half and then tore out his spleen and showed it to him while he was dying.

"THIS IS YOUR SPLEEN, biatch!"


Nails? Have you got them done up in French tips there, little Sally?

My fingernails have been too worn down prying apart skulls for that to ever work.
 
2012-02-08 05:30:35 PM

ArcadianRefugee: While the article was completely stupid, can anyone recommend a good (style of) wallet? I actually am in the market for a new one.

/before the seams on this one vanish completely


I have a nice Columbia-brand bifold wallet that has a unique feature. it has a third section, not unlike a trifold, but it is located in the middle. all three sections hinge from the same point, so that if you view it from the top it would look like three fingers. I really like it. Unfortunately for you, I can't find a link to it on Columbia's website nor does it appear in a GIS for Columbia Wallet.
 
2012-02-08 05:30:38 PM
pffffffffft...this is me commuting this morning. Guns, knives, long finger nails? Sheeeit

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-02-08 05:30:57 PM

czei: GoBadgers: A man should also carry a comb, in order to be well groomed at all times.

/Thanks dad!

This guy disagrees:

[www.vindieselbiography.com image 340x425]


he still has to comb the crabs out
 
2012-02-08 05:31:02 PM

ultraholland: all I need is a piece of cold steel and my balls


There are easier ways to start fires.
 
2012-02-08 05:31:23 PM

nytmare: Yeah, no, I'm not spending $1000 a year to write down phone numbers.


i'm fairly old fashioned, acquiring my first cell phone in 2005, but i'm pretty sure that the smart phone i bought for 240$ (which also earned a reduction in my cell phone bill to the tune that i am really only spending 50$ to get the smart phone) will function for at least one year, if not several. so while you may not need to acquire a smart phone, you probably want to live to a lower cost living area.
 
2012-02-08 05:31:34 PM

theorellior: Who knew that a crap article about wallets and stuff would bring out all the ITGs?

I carry a Stinger missile rig in my back pocket, because I'm just so awesome I bend spacetime and the pocket is really an interdimensional rift. The rig sits right next to my flamethrower and portable harem.


Wtf? Where all "all these ITG's"?
 
2012-02-08 05:31:52 PM

NkThrasher: Wallet - No shiat.
Sunglasses - They live in my car for the most part, but I'll accept this one.
Pen - No shiat.
Messenger Bag - Only if you're carrying a laptop and papers with you wherever you go. Otherwise, no.
Phone - If you have a mobile and find it important to have available, sure.


Glaringly missing from any "men's pocket items" guide:

Pocket knife / multi-tool - If you don't find daily uses for these you aren't paying attention to the world around you.
Kerchief or similar cloth segment - Also frequently helpful for more than just blowing your nose.


Mine keep getting confiscated by TSA assholes since I always seem to forget I've got one in my pocket.
 
2012-02-08 05:32:29 PM

nytmare: Grobbley: Who actually writes down phone numbers anymore? I have a smart phone to do that shiat for me.

Yeah, no, I'm not spending $1000 a year to write down phone numbers. The pen is mightier.


$1000 a year? You're doing it wrong.
 
2012-02-08 05:32:46 PM
1 Billfold
2. 12" black rubber dildo
3. Lucifers
4. Spurs
5. Jelly-mold
 
2012-02-08 05:34:15 PM
How am I supposed to use the pen???? On my arm? There's no "pad of paper" on this list. Is that what goes in the messenger bag? I am clearly an idiot who needs every detail of regular living explained to me.

/derp
 
2012-02-08 05:34:35 PM

ChubbyTiger: Since so many of you are advocating a knife to carry, do you have any good recommendations? My Swiss Army knife is getting old and beat up. No Leatherman/SOG/Gerber multitools, please. Just a simple, fairly small knife. Lock-blade nice, but optional.


I'm really liking the CRKT M16. You can pick up some variations for under $20 and the build quality and steel will be comparable to a lot of knives that cost five times as much.
 
2012-02-08 05:35:11 PM

Maud Dib: GoBadgers: A man should also carry a comb, in order to be well groomed at all times.

/Thanks dad!

Don't forget your pomade.
And it better not be Fop!!!!


I don't want Fop! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
 
2012-02-08 05:35:49 PM

GoBadgers: A man should also carry a comb, in order to be well groomed at all times.

/Thanks dad!


I keep a flat flea comb in my wallet. A flea comb you ask? Damned right I do. I know I don't have fleas unlike the rest of you uncivilized bastards out there.

Pen? If it's that important I'll use my own blood. If it's not, I'll memorize it. Having spent 8 years memorizing esoteric stuff helps train your mind to remember things.

Sunglasses? My farking glasses ARE sunglasses. Technology FTW biatch.

A biatch bag? biatch please.

Phone? Don't call me, I'll call you. From a landline. My cell phone comes preloaded with only a small number of minutes. I don't carry a toy phone. I quit playing with toys when I was a child. A smartphone is a toy. Grow the fark up.

List fails without a knife.
 
2012-02-08 05:36:21 PM

ChubbyTiger: Since so many of you are advocating a knife to carry, do you have any good recommendations? My Swiss Army knife is getting old and beat up. No Leatherman/SOG/Gerber multitools, please. Just a simple, fairly small knife. Lock-blade nice, but optional.


Automatic tactical. You can usually find 'em at the flea market for pretty cheap, just look for the creepy middle aged guy selling Nazi memoribilia.
 
2012-02-08 05:36:54 PM

belhade: Ignoring the advice in this article, I still managed to snag myself a wife.

CSB: when wifey and I met (at a house party) we spent the night together then the next morning she was getting a ride home. Saying goodbye at the front door, she wanted to give me my phone number. I didn't have a writing implement, or a portable medium to write on, and I can't remember shiat, so i said I'd get her number from a mutual friend of ours (the one who brought her to the party). She thought I was blowing her off since she didn't give up the coochie that night, but I did get the number and call her two days later.

She gave up the coochie then. We just had our second child last week.




I think she married you because you had enough control to not destroy the night by trying to go in. In my experience, women love that because its seen as a sign of respect.

/Good show
 
2012-02-08 05:37:20 PM

pedobearapproved: ArcadianRefugee: While the article was completely stupid, can anyone recommend a good (style of) wallet? I actually am in the market for a new one.

/before the seams on this one vanish completely

I have a leather trifold that I got at walmart. It's brown, real leather, didn't cost a lot, has lasted 5 years, and actually looks really nice.


Burn him! BUUURRRRRRNNNNN HIMMMMMMM! KILLLLLLLLLLLL!

How DARE you sully the pristine libderbiness of Fark by mentioning The Great Satan!
 
2012-02-08 05:37:41 PM
I've never worn sunglasses before, but this fashion editor says I should so I guess I'd better go buy a pair.
 
2012-02-08 05:38:16 PM
Wallet - Check (Relic)
Sunglasses - Check (Ray Ban RB 3465)
Pen - Not very often, but my favorite was an old Cross pen that I used for my checkbook until the ink ran out
Messenger bag - I'm not a messenger, laptop bag yes
Phone - Check

I'm going to share this list with everyone I know, it was very informative and well written, I feel better having read it. Thank you so much submitter, it was really refreshing to read, and thanks to Laura for not being afraid to write about such a taboo subject as this.
 
2012-02-08 05:38:24 PM
1. Wallet
2. Phone
3. Keys

The three items that a man should have on him at all times.
 
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