Caught subtard Caught not got

Javacrucian: [img.photobucket.com image 477x261]

You never leave a man behind!

I for one think it would be worth a couple decades in prison to be able to say that and mean it.

eas81: Caught subtard Caught not got

Don't shoot the messenger. It was a direct quote from the bank robber. Tell him about it.


/not subby

"You'll nevah take me alive coppah, nyahhhh..."

I hope he's ready for his PUN-ishment.

/I'm so sorry.

well I guess you need to have a sense of humor about the situation

They make you pay that shiat back after prison? Aren't banks insured? I could see getting money out of the guy for their insurance rates going up after the fact.

Aside from the funny, what if the man had actually had a chance to become an honest, working citizen?

Too much stigmatization keeps convicts locked in a negative cycle, even though they did their time behind bars.

In a case like this, one simply can't help but pun-der.

So you could say, (puts sunglasses on) he dyed for his sins... YYYYEEEAAAAAH!!

"What color are his hands now?"

Oh. Oh, right.

"I have no assets to speak of except my 1998 Chevy Cavalier (which I am planning on sleeping in for a while)," Shivers wrote. "... I would like to start over with a clean slate, putting this whole dilemma behind me as I continue my quest to become a productive member of society again."

Yeah, I bet you would. It really sucks being held accountable for your actions, doesn't it?

Awesome.

Teen Wolf Blitzer: "I have no assets to speak of except my 1998 Chevy Cavalier (which I am planning on sleeping in for a while)," Shivers wrote. "... I would like to start over with a clean slate, putting this whole dilemma behind me as I continue my quest to become a productive member of society again."

Yeah, I bet you would. It really sucks being held accountable for your actions, doesn't it?

I agree, but there comes a time when your debt should be paid. If we never allow people to start over, after doing their time and paying their fines, then we can't really expect they become anything different than criminals.

Guess they didn't stick to his loose bills request. Hah.

I would think after 16 times he would be better at it. Guess not.

"This is a robbery. No silent alarms - no dye packs!"

So how'd that work out for you?

LeroyBourne: They make you pay that shiat back after prison? Aren't banks insured? I could see getting money out of the guy for their insurance rates going up after the fact.

Oh no of course not. They usually let you keep whatever you stole. It's only fair after all that work you went through to get it.

nytmare: LeroyBourne: They make you pay that shiat back after prison? Aren't banks insured? I could see getting money out of the guy for their insurance rates going up after the fact.

Oh no of course not. They usually let you keep whatever you stole. It's only fair after all that work you went through to get it.

Well, if you get caught there's a good chance you didn't spend it all, or at least sell all the shiat you did buy. I guess if the bank doesn't want to go through the work of selling merchandise......that's what I was getting to.

Dye packs and electronic tracing devices are about the stupidest things the banks have done to "prevent" robbers. The only reason they work is because the bank robbers are even more stupid than the bankers. Just sitting here, I have thought of more than half a dozen ways of potentially defeating them:

1. Medium tech option: Buy a $10 metal detector and wave it over the cash before leaving the bank. If it goes "zeeeeeeeeeWOOOP!eeeeeOOOP!OOP!eeeeeee" as it passes over the cash, tell 'em you want some cash without dye packs or tracers. Or else.
2. High tech option: Put a five-gallon cooler of water in the getaway car. Wrap it in aluminum foil. Ground the foil to the car's chassis. Stick a cell phone in it to see if gets service (call it- if it rings, it has service). When you have the cooler shielded enough to prevent service, fill it 1/2 full of sand. After robbing bank, throw the cash on top of the sand and dump more sand on top until the cooler is full. Put the (also shielded) lid back on. If there's a dye pack, the sand will stop it from blasting you. If there's a tracer, the shielding will prevent it from transmitting.
3. Low tech option: Give the bank teller a 5-lb rubber mallet. Step back about 10 feet. Make the teller smash each stack of cash repeatedly. Hard. If there's a dye pack in there, you'll end up with a purple teller. If there's a electronic tracker, it will be crunched.
4. Brutal option: Bring something that looks asplosive (doesn't have to actually BE asplosive). Show it to the teller and explain that when you leave it will be attached to him via handcuffs with the keyhole blocked with epoxy, and if it doesn't receive a cell phone signal within 15 minutes of you leaving, he will be a fine red mist. And make sure he knows you won't be making that call if you're in jail, being chased by cops, or covered in purple dye.
5. Simple option: make the teller remove the band from each stack of cash and "make it rain" into the bag (that you provide). If anything that looks like a dye pack or electronic tracer rains into your bag, remove it.
6. High Tech Solution #2: Bring a portable electronic postage scale and weigh each stack of cash. Dye and electronics are probably more or less dense compared to paper money. The weight of a stack of money is probably a fairly constant figure. If one of the stacks weighs too much or too little, throw it away and keep the rest.
7. Man's Best Friend's Solution: Train a dog to sniff out anything but cash in a stack of cash. Don't ask me how- I'm not a dog trainer. Pretend to be a blind guy when you go in. Get the dog to sniff the cash. Discard anything the dog barks at.
8. Inside Solution: Make friends with a teller and get to give you cash without dye packs or electronic tracking devices in it.
9. Low Tech Option #2: Make the teller flex and fan every stack of cash while you watch from a safe distance. Dye packs would probably go "poof!" and tracers would probably go "crack!" Adjust strategy accordingly.

I'm sure there are problems with every one of them (they almost all take extra time), but the point is that some careful thought and planning could lessen the chances of getting caught because of a dye pack or an electronic tracer. Of course, if you're smart enough to carefully think through and plan this sort of thing, you're probably smart enough to not chose bank robber as your career. But really- shouldn't there be an IQ requirement for graduation from bank robber school? Are we honestly comfortable with letting stupid people rob banks? With everything that could go wrong, violently, I think they should have some sort of entry exam prior to letting you hit up the local branch.

I always thought they did dye packs wrong in the first place. They shouldn't wait for the criminals to leave the bank. Instead, Immediately upon being credibly informed that a bank robbery was under way, ALL the cash in the bank should be doused in purple dye. Like it should come out of hoses in the ceiling and just be sprayed everywhere and on everything and everybody. It would be much more amusing, and after a few banks vomited purple people out into the streets, robbers would learn that it just wasn't worth the effort. Also, phoning in fake bank robberies would be a real hoot. Just watch for somebody wearing distinctive clothing to go into the bank, call up the branch and say "give that dude in the Grateful Dead tie die shirt all your cash and nobody gets hurt. And then the whole bank goes farking fuscia! Good times, man. Good times.

A dye pack exploding in your face?

It's enough to give you the

nytmare: "This is a robbery. No silent alarms - no dye packs!"

So how'd that work out for you?

Impossible! I TOLD them not to GIVE me a dye pack!

tillerman35: Dye packs and electronic tracing devices are about the stupidest things the banks have done to "prevent" robbers. The only reason they work is because the bank robbers are even more stupid than the bankers. Just sitting here, I have thought of more than half a dozen ways of potentially defeating them:

1. Medium tech option: Buy a $10 metal detector and wave it over the cash before leaving the bank. If it goes "zeeeeeeeeeWOOOP!eeeeeOOOP!OOP!eeeeeee" as it passes over the cash, tell 'em you want some cash without dye packs or tracers. Or else.
2. High tech option: Put a five-gallon cooler of water in the getaway car. Wrap it in aluminum foil. Ground the foil to the car's chassis. Stick a cell phone in it to see if gets service (call it- if it rings, it has service). When you have the cooler shielded enough to prevent service, fill it 1/2 full of sand. After robbing bank, throw the cash on top of the sand and dump more sand on top until the cooler is full. Put the (also shielded) lid back on. If there's a dye pack, the sand will stop it from blasting you. If there's a tracer, the shielding will prevent it from transmitting.
3. Low tech option: Give the bank teller a 5-lb rubber mallet. Step back about 10 feet. Make the teller smash each stack of cash repeatedly. Hard. If there's a dye pack in there, you'll end up with a purple teller. If there's a electronic tracker, it will be crunched.
4. Brutal option: Bring something that looks asplosive (doesn't have to actually BE asplosive). Show it to the teller and explain that when you leave it will be attached to him via handcuffs with the keyhole blocked with epoxy, and if it doesn't receive a cell phone signal within 15 minutes of you leaving, he will be a fine red mist. And make sure he knows you won't be making that call if you're in jail, being chased by cops, or covered in purple dye.
5. Simple option: make the teller remove the band from each stack of cash and "make it rain" into the bag (that you provide). If anythi ...

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Bravo.

What if you hand the teller a bag and say "put the dye packs in this bag now". Once that's done, pull out a second bag and get down to the business of filling it with cash.