FARK.com: (6929563) Maximum Trolling - Man claims he actually invented the internet and sues Google, Youtube, Yahoo and Amazon for using his invention

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		Maximum Trolling - Man claims he actually invented the internet and sues Google, Youtube, Yahoo and Amazon for using his invention (wired.com)		103
		More: Amusing, YouTube, Google, Yahoo, Amazon, Tim Berners-Lee, software patents, Rent-A-Center, East Texas

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14136 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2012 at 10:53 AM | Favorite | share:

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103 Comments (+0 »)

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TF2_Pyro

2012-02-08 10:55:03 AM

Al Gore will do anything for attention these days...

HotWingConspiracy

2012-02-08 10:55:16 AM

If he gets a black turtleneck and some sycophants, he may prevail.

sure haven't

2012-02-08 10:55:21 AM

/oblig
//hot

7wolf

2012-02-08 10:59:14 AM

I don't even find stuff like this surprising anymore...

SirTanon

2012-02-08 10:59:58 AM

Amateurs..

Lt. Cheese Weasel

2012-02-08 11:01:48 AM

the "interactive web" before anyone else, while they were employed by the University of California back in 1993. Doyle argues that a program he created at UC's San Francisco

1993? Sure sure....and the earth is only 6000 years old too.

Oscar_Madisons_cleaning_lady

2012-02-08 11:02:17 AM

Al Gore changed his name and moved to Texas? If he's in witness protection, he's doing it wrong.

elev8meL8r

2012-02-08 11:03:41 AM

They said I could be anything ... so I became a PATENT TROLL

vudukungfu

2012-02-08 11:04:15 AM

OH YEAH? Well I'm his biological father, and I copywrote my DNA and any thing he invents is Mine Mine Mine by default, as I'm the parent coporation.

So there!

The Irresponsible Captain

2012-02-08 11:05:41 AM

I hope he wins, that may finally bring attention to Congress about how broken the system is!

/Fark! It's still the Do-Nothings in there, isn't it?

ultraholland

2012-02-08 11:05:45 AM

but did he ride the moon worm?

AlwaysRightBoy

2012-02-08 11:09:32 AM

Damn, I knew I should have patented my idea in 1983.

baggins2000

2012-02-08 11:14:27 AM

I wish this and 1000 more just like it upon them. I'm so tired of this patent bullshiat. MS, Google, Yahoo, Amazon ... have done nothing but squash innovation in the computer industry. Then they will go , oh patent trolls are bad, and in the next blink of an eye are whipping out their patent lawyers. Obviously the only patents they are worried about are the ones they don't own.
Die by the jab of a billion needles.

First Presidential candidate that says " We are going to install a copy machine in the patent office and all patents will be a dime a page " gets my vote.

milo79

2012-02-08 11:14:51 AM

I invented Gremlins in my bathtub on mushrooms in the late seventies. You don't see me going around suing people.

uttertosh

2012-02-08 11:16:29 AM

vudukungfu: OH YEAH? Well I'm his biological father, and I copywrote my DNA and any thing he invents is Mine Mine Mine by default, as I'm the parent coporation.

So there!

Heh, crafty! ;-)

russlar

2012-02-08 11:17:14 AM

Just remember, IBM has patented patent trolling. Seriously.

/Help us, IBM. You're our only hope.

Slartibartfaster

2012-02-08 11:22:52 AM

The Irresponsible Captain: I hope he wins, that may finally bring attention to Congress about how broken the system is!

this and

Lt. Cheese Weasel: 1993? Sure sure....and the earth is only 6000 years old too

that

JoeJitsu

2012-02-08 11:24:04 AM

TF2_Pyro: Al Gore will do anything for attention these days...

Al's moved past that and is now inventing the first cable news channel with a definite political agenda.

MythDragon

2012-02-08 11:26:35 AM

I totaly submitted this article first, AND with a better headline. I am going to sue subby.
I am seeking 23 Kajillion dollars. But if you wish to settle out of court, I will except one (1) TotalFark sponsership.

Cereal Fetish

2012-02-08 11:29:11 AM

What a difference 13 years makes.

2012: Claiming to invent the internet = maximum trolling
1999: Claiming to invent the internet = campaigning

Faddy

2012-02-08 11:29:44 AM

baggins2000: First Presidential candidate that says " We are going to install a copy machine in the patent office and all patents will be a dime a page " gets my vote.

Have you ever read a patent? They are usually around 10 pages long so that dime a page is still nothing compared to the near $10,000 you need to file and maintain a patent.

yves0010

2012-02-08 11:29:45 AM

ARPANET is not available for comment due to its sulking in the corner over the internet being so popular and getting all the girls.

stuffy

2012-02-08 11:35:57 AM

I invented air. So ether pay me or stop breathing.

Magorn

2012-02-08 11:38:51 AM

Having spent some time this summer employed inthe patent troll wars, I've come to the conclusion that tech patents, in particular, software and "business method" type patents need the following, immediate reforms

1) They need to be shorter than regular patents: No more than 5 years. 5 years is a full generation in the tech world, the patents shouldn't be for longer than that absent some truly special circumstances

2) The need to have a "use it or lose it" clause. Unless you are actively trying to market the idea or implement it on a commercial basis somehow, you patent expires as soon as someone else does.

3) There needs to be a "burden of notice" similar to the one for Copyrights. You have a reasonable duty of Due Dillegence relating to your patent and if you become aware that someone is using/selling something you have to notify them IMMEDIATELY or you either a) lose the patent altogether or b) are forced to license it to them at set, standard rates; none of this waiting until years later when billion-dollar industries now depend on your "patent" to sue

Ace25

2012-02-08 11:41:32 AM

So does this mean I invented a time machine since I connected my High School to the internet back in 1989 to participate in newsgroups (connected via dialup to Cal Poly SLO, Gopher was so much fun before www came out).

Sandsnake

2012-02-08 11:46:42 AM

Isn't there a clause in the patent system that allows the judge to declare that enforcing the patent would cause significant harm to society and thus is invalidated?

imashark

2012-02-08 11:47:06 AM

Magorn: Having spent some time this summer employed inthe patent troll wars, I've come to the conclusion that tech patents, in particular, software and "business method" type patents need the following, immediate reforms

1) They need to be shorter than regular patents: No more than 5 years. 5 years is a full generation in the tech world, the patents shouldn't be for longer than that absent some truly special circumstances

2) The need to have a "use it or lose it" clause. Unless you are actively trying to market the idea or implement it on a commercial basis somehow, you patent expires as soon as someone else does.

3) There needs to be a "burden of notice" similar to the one for Copyrights. You have a reasonable duty of Due Dillegence relating to your patent and if you become aware that someone is using/selling something you have to notify them IMMEDIATELY or you either a) lose the patent altogether or b) are forced to license it to them at set, standard rates; none of this waiting until years later when billion-dollar industries now depend on your "patent" to sue

I scanned quickly through the patent, and it literally is a claim to have invented the internet as it exists today in its entirety, including the basic interaction between browsers and servers and the inner workings of how browsers handle requests for information.

My mind is boggled that such a broad patent was granted. Was the patent office sleeping on the job? Or is this just an indictment of how the patent system is flawed?

Sandor at the Zoo

2012-02-08 11:49:04 AM

There will be no further misuse of this channel. You are disturbing others who are using it to serious purpose. Access will be restored when you understand what it is for.

dandude28

2012-02-08 11:50:34 AM

This is actually a good thing, it will bring more attention to how stupid and abused software patents can be.

LOTN

2012-02-08 11:52:36 AM

/ this man has it
// doing away with software patents completely is also an acceptable position

escherblacksmith

2012-02-08 12:16:59 PM

Ace25: So does this mean I invented a time machine since I connected my High School to the internet back in 1989 to participate in newsgroups (connected via dialup to Cal Poly SLO, Gopher was so much fun before www came out).

Ah, gopher, good times.

\\I like green screens
\interactive web pissant.

germ78

2012-02-08 12:26:38 PM

I should consider patenting the wheel...

mantidor

2012-02-08 12:33:40 PM

sure haven't: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x426]

/oblig
//hot

holly crap, until know I hadn't noticed the maximum trolling meme had a England map on it.

squirrel_spam

2012-02-08 12:37:29 PM

I invented the question mark!

Fark will be hearing from my lawyers as I file for $1,000,000,000 in damages for each of the 14 uses on this page alone.

I too will settle out of court for a TF membership.

//I will also sell my patent for 'captioning photographic images of felines using questionable grammatical and spelling skills' for a subscription to UtraF.......carrier lost

Loki-L

2012-02-08 12:41:53 PM

The government should just size these patents under some eminent domain like thing and put them in the public domain. They can size land to build a highway than surely they can size IP to keep the internet highway going. The damage that these patent trolls could do to the economy is so great that simply declaring any IP necessary for the basic function of the Web to be in the public domain should be justified.

Linoleum_Blownapart

2012-02-08 12:42:10 PM

Cereal Fetish: What a difference 13 years makes.

2012: Claiming to invent the internet = maximum trolling
1999: Claiming to invent the internet = campaigning
1991: High Performance Computing and Communication Act of 1991 (HPCA) = Legislating

offmymeds

2012-02-08 12:44:32 PM

Foundling

2012-02-08 12:45:53 PM

Before reading it, I'm going to assume that he was born after I'd started using the Internet.

nickerj1

2012-02-08 12:46:40 PM

I was about to say: "Meh, I'll find something and submit an OA to CRE within the week".

But holy mother of god, it's already been re-examed.

2wolves

2012-02-08 12:47:04 PM

Linoleum_Blownapart: Cereal Fetish: What a difference 13 years makes.

2012: Claiming to invent the internet = maximum trolling
1999: Claiming to invent the internet = propaganda by the GOP
1991: High Performance Computing and Communication Act of 1991 (HPCA) = Legislating

Mangoose

2012-02-08 01:29:24 PM

vudukungfu: OH YEAH? Well I'm his biological father, and I copywrote my DNA and any thing he invents is Mine Mine Mine by default, as I'm the parent coporation.

So there!

Your patent expired when he turned 18.

Aquapope

2012-02-08 01:31:41 PM

Cereal Fetish: What a difference 13 years makes.

2012: Claiming to invent the internet = maximum trolling
1999: Claiming to invent the internet = campaigning

Apparently, 13 years makes no difference at all:
1999: Saying Al Gore claimed he invented the internet _{(new window)} = willful ignorance or partisan propagandizing
2012: Saying Al Gore claimed he invented the internet = willful ignorance or partisan propagandizing

downstairs

2012-02-08 01:33:09 PM

Eliminate software patents. Software is nothing more than a recipie for your device to use to- as an analogy- "cook" something on its own for your personal consumption.

Oznog

2012-02-08 01:37:14 PM

LOTN: Magorn: Having spent some time this summer employed inthe patent troll wars, I've come to the conclusion that tech patents, in particular, software and "business method" type patents need the following, immediate reforms

1) They need to be shorter than regular patents: No more than 5 years. 5 years is a full generation in the tech world, the patents shouldn't be for longer than that absent some truly special circumstances

2) The need to have a "use it or lose it" clause. Unless you are actively trying to market the idea or implement it on a commercial basis somehow, you patent expires as soon as someone else does.

3) There needs to be a "burden of notice" similar to the one for Copyrights. You have a reasonable duty of Due Dillegence relating to your patent and if you become aware that someone is using/selling something you have to notify them IMMEDIATELY or you either a) lose the patent altogether or b) are forced to license it to them at set, standard rates; none of this waiting until years later when billion-dollar industries now depend on your "patent" to sue

[i.imgur.com image 288x288]

/ this man has it
// doing away with software patents completely is also an acceptable position

You speak of Adverse Possession, aka Squatter's Rights, a facet of the Doctrine of Laches (new window). Note: "Eminent Domain" is often a misapplied term confused with Adverse Possession, never mix these up. Eminent Domain is the government's right to condemn/seize property for public good.

Laches is more of a course of argument for a defense against a claim, rather than a codified element in civil law. It CAN BE, though.

Note the bizarre case of the Submarine Patent (new window): "In the United States, patent applications filed before November 2000 were not published and remained secret until they were granted. Analogous to a submarine, therefore, submarine patents could stay "under water" for long periods until they "emerged" and surprised the relevant market."

LOL. It's freakishly like some kind of quirky card game. You play for 45 min then one player says "Well I got the Submarine Patent card for that back in the second hand... you never could have won, and all this has been me waiting for the moment to drop that bomb, I win!" and everyone else goes "this game sucks!"

Buckyballs

2012-02-08 01:40:26 PM

MythDragon: I totaly submitted this article first, AND with a better headline. I am going to sue subby.
I am seeking 23 Kajillion dollars. But if you wish to settle out of court, I will except one (1) TotalFark sponsership.

Err, I can't afford $5 / month!

TheAbstractor

2012-02-08 01:53:14 PM

I was actually working on a case a few months back where some fly-by-night company claimed to have invented Voice-Over-IP back in the early 90s, which at this stage of the game is like claiming you've invented fire. Still didn't stop the defendant (a major telecom company) from having to hire 80 lawyers to review hundreds of thousands of documents for two months.

I can't wait until someone sues 4chan or it gets investigated by the DOJ or something. That would be the greatest or worst doc review job ever, depending on your point of view.

cannotsuggestaname

2012-02-08 01:53:44 PM

Gopher predates his patent claim. If he is specifically only talking about interactive graphics within a browser window then Mosaic predates him by a lot.

Violawww and Arena also predate his claim.

exactly three days

2012-02-08 02:07:09 PM

mantidor: sure haven't: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x426]

/oblig
//hot

holy crap, until now I hadn't noticed the maximum trolling meme had a map of the UK on it.

I see it now too.

mayIFark

2012-02-08 02:07:48 PM

so he suied Google and youtube?

landimal

2012-02-08 02:11:34 PM

cannotsuggestaname: Gopher predates his patent claim. If he is specifically only talking about interactive graphics within a browser window then Mosaic predates him by a lot.

Violawww and Arena also predate his claim.

I can think of at least 5 things that would predate this claim, even the phrasing of the protocols involved. The issue is that they picked the best spot to file this claim where prior art will mean less than "Playboy paid us because our patent was valid"

I wish we could patent products only and not just vague ideas.

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