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(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 25
More: Florida, hospital gown, De Land, leg irons, grand larceny, jails  
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3133 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2012 at 11:42 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



25 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
mitchcumstein1 [TotalFark]
2012-02-08 10:07:46 AM
Zihuatanejo...
 
busy chillin'
2012-02-08 11:43:37 AM
Run florist, run
 
cgraves67
2012-02-08 11:48:47 AM
"uttering a forged check"

Wat?
 
inflatedKarma
2012-02-08 11:49:10 AM
"uttering a forged check"?

/sounds painful.
 
Sum Guye
2012-02-08 11:49:11 AM
bill37mccurdy.files.wordpress.com
 
inelegy
2012-02-08 12:08:39 PM
www.smbtraining.com
"Yeah . . . whatever."
 
neversubmit
2012-02-08 12:09:01 PM
encrypted-tbn3.google.com
 
Uchiha_Cycliste
2012-02-08 12:10:33 PM
but..but...but.. I never go anywhere without my heart-rate monitor
 
jdjoker
2012-02-08 12:19:29 PM
Are hair nets OK?

upload.wikimedia.org


/Damn, we're in a tight spot!
 
brantgoose [TotalFark]
2012-02-08 12:24:57 PM
It also helps if you don't travel in threes, and don't wear a striped uniform, Domino mask and a little cap with your prisoner number on it.

That's what always gave the Beagle Boys away. I could always tell the Beagle Boys from civilians instantly.

Fun fact: In the UK, prisoners wore uniforms with arrows on them, as seen in the movie Gandhi. The arrows pointed out good places to hit the prisoners to prison guards, thus making pounding the daylights out of prisoners much easier.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark]
2012-02-08 12:28:52 PM
"Utter" is one of those archaic legal usages that you sometimes run across.

It means in a general way, "to issue", which is what "utter" means in the more usual sense of "speak or say", but in legal language you can "utter" a forged check or a threat as well as words. I assume that waiving a weapon around would be uttering a threat, even if you were silent while you did it. Officials can "utter" as well, for example, by posting rules and regulations.
 
g4lt
2012-02-08 01:47:39 PM
I dunno, for the gown, it kind of has a built-in story, "I said, you want to put the tube WHERE? And I stone cold started running" Either they'll understand and let you keep running or they'll be wincing so hard, you'l get a headstart...
 
JeffreyScott
2012-02-08 02:12:27 PM
When my client escaped from prison he was wearing shackles.

To remove the shackles, he drove up to a Home Depot, with a blanket concealing his prison uniform, and caught the attention of a store employee who was gathering carts. He told the employee that he was handicapped and couldn't walk. He talked the employee into going into the store and purchasing a hacksaw with money he provided. The employee returned with the hacksaw, change and receipt.

I have always wondered what the employee's response was when he learned he was duped by a prison escapee who was being sought for murder.
 
fireclown
2012-02-08 02:43:52 PM
The thing is, if you are wearing a heart monitor, you will fall prey to the sonic batarang.
 
MBooda
2012-02-08 02:55:11 PM
#4 - the bathroom sink

media.salon.com

/mm, juicy fruit
 
A Screaming Man with Two-Toned Shoes
2012-02-08 03:10:39 PM
A Heart t-shirt, on the other hand? Darrrn spiffy.

img.photobucket.com
 
Lt. Cheese Weasel
2012-02-08 03:11:49 PM
inelegy: [www.smbtraining.com image 453x364]
"Yeah . . . whatever."

'Luke, what's your dirt doin in Boss Keanes ditch?'
 
Fano
2012-02-08 03:26:04 PM
Gotta do what you gotta do when trying to clear your name by catching the One-Armed Man
 
Virulency
2012-02-08 04:07:37 PM
C !

/wait what was the question
 
Vacation Bible School
2012-02-08 04:20:04 PM
Uchiha_Cycliste: but..but...but.. I never go anywhere without my heart-rate monitor

Exactly. I need to know if I am in my zone while I am running away from the police. If you fall out of your zone you are no longer doing any beneficial cardio work and you may as well pack it in.

/they give you time to stretch first, right?
 
Mr. Shabooboo
2012-02-08 05:55:19 PM
Obviously he didn't have his mind right...

/yet another Cool Hand Luke ref..
//One of my fave movies too..
 
DarkSoulNoHope
2012-02-08 06:01:48 PM
It's been tried. Though you need a female outfit to trick the guards.

whysoblu.com
 
LindLTaylor
2012-02-08 06:02:55 PM
If he hides in the marshes he can wait for Pip and terrorize him into stealing some pork pies and a file from Joe's blacksmith forge. It worked out well for Pip. No not really. I mean was Pip really happy? I guess in the end he was so it's all good.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-02-08 06:06:45 PM
brantgoose: It also helps if you don't travel in threes, and don't wear a striped uniform, Domino mask and a little cap with your prisoner number on it.

That's what always gave the Beagle Boys away. I could always tell the Beagle Boys from civilians instantly.

Fun fact: In the UK, prisoners wore uniforms with arrows on them, as seen in the movie Gandhi. The arrows pointed out good places to hit the prisoners to prison guards, thus making pounding the daylights out of prisoners much easier.

If your guards are that stupid, well...guess that's why we haven't got a British Empire any more, huh?
 
Mandapants
2012-02-09 07:03:16 AM
daicynotdaisy.files.wordpress.com
 
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