FARK.com: (6926514) I don't normally believe in conspiracy theories, but the Labrador retriever, the golden retriever, the dachshund, and the Chihuahua have never taken Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show

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		I don't normally believe in conspiracy theories, but the Labrador retriever, the golden retriever, the dachshund, and the Chihuahua have never taken Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (mnn.com)		103
		More: Asinine, Labrador Retriever, Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, conspiracy theories

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AverageAmericanGuy

2012-02-07 04:49:25 AM

Really, this is like saying a Chenin Blanc has never gotten a 98 or above in Wine Spectator. There's an upper limit when it comes to these things, and those pedestrian dogs (and the pedestrian wines) just don't have Best in Show value.

Which isn't to say that they aren't great. A nice Chenin Blanc goes great with a creamy seafood linguine, and Chihuahuas go great with Daddy's Princess types in pink miniskirts and white stockings.

GreenSun

2012-02-07 05:22:14 AM

Oh no what now, breedists? lol!

ethics-gradient

2012-02-07 05:25:22 AM

So Labs and Goldens have been discriminated against all these years? Nice guys really do finish last.

dready zim

2012-02-07 05:26:19 AM

There is a simple reason. Those are stupid dogs.

madgecko13

2012-02-07 05:38:41 AM

And the inbreeding award goes to....!

gmoney101

2012-02-07 05:40:27 AM

Labs smell like shiat, so that might account for things...

// Dogs suck
/Cats FTW!

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo

2012-02-07 05:41:23 AM

Yeah, the hand of the Illuminati has never been more visible.

Snapper Carr

2012-02-07 05:41:25 AM

You can add Rottweilers to that list (I only know this because my stepmother used to show ours)

/And drag me along with her for company and dog sitting.
//I love dogs but I came to loathe dog shows.

ArtosRC

2012-02-07 05:41:25 AM

dready zim: Those are stupid dogs.

Goldens and Labs are stupid.

I just want to make sure that I am reading this erroneous statement correctly.

blutendesherz

2012-02-07 05:44:38 AM

The only good thing about dog shows is watching that one fat fark owner trying to run around the course with the dog. Then getting pissed when it takes more than .2 of a second to get through a tunnel he couldn't could get through with 2 gallons of lard and someone poking his arse with a branding iron.

Pockafrusta

2012-02-07 05:46:34 AM

Came here for Eugene Levy pics with 2 left feet... and leaving sad.
/YOU PEOPLE! (shakes fist)

Link (new window)

wumpus

2012-02-07 05:48:50 AM

A beagle finally just won for the first time a few years ago. Dachshunds are amazingly clever, I have 2 longhairs.

mikefinch

2012-02-07 06:01:51 AM

The Westminster Dog shows pretty much breed utility straight out of the animal so im not surprised about labs and goldens.

Im pretty set on border collie crosses - my wife had one when she grew up and i had one when i was growing up. If you live in a city dont even think about the black and white dog of the gods. Border collies and their half breed children deserve farms and to never have to put up with conforming to a breed standard.

Border collies -- you know their a great breed when they cant be entered in Westminster

Jynxed

2012-02-07 06:05:19 AM

wumpus: A beagle finally just won for the first time a few years ago. Dachshunds are ~~amazingly clever~~ evil and obnoxious little shiats, I have 2 longhairs.

FTFY

mikefinch

2012-02-07 06:07:43 AM

wumpus: Dachshunds are amazingly clever, I have 2 longhairs.

They are also dense as hell at times - my sister has a dach and my mom has a beagle dach cross and they both suffer in the brains department.

Not nearly as bad as her rottweiler (i like them usually this one is frightened of me though)

My other sister has a pocket beagle and a golden retriever and they are much brighter.

Nogale

2012-02-07 06:09:04 AM

mikefinch: The Westminster Dog shows pretty much breed utility straight out of the animal so im not surprised about labs and goldens.

Im pretty set on border collie crosses - my wife had one when she grew up and i had one when i was growing up. If you live in a city dont even think about the black and white dog of the gods. Border collies and their half breed children deserve farms and to never have to put up with conforming to a breed standard.

Border collies -- you know their a great breed when they cant be entered in Westminster

I've heard that border collies will also manage your household accounts. Of course, that raises concern of possible embezzlement.

GBB

2012-02-07 06:11:34 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Really, this is like saying a Chenin Blanc has never gotten a 98 or above in Wine Spectator. There's an upper limit when it comes to these things, and those pedestrian dogs (and the pedestrian wines) just don't have Best in Show value.

Which isn't to say that they aren't great. A nice Chenin Blanc goes great with a creamy seafood linguine, and Chihuahuas go great with Daddy's Princess types in pink miniskirts and white stockings.

Moar, Please!!

blutendesherz

2012-02-07 06:12:58 AM

Nogale: mikefinch: The Westminster Dog shows pretty much breed utility straight out of the animal so im not surprised about labs and goldens.

Im pretty set on border collie crosses - my wife had one when she grew up and i had one when i was growing up. If you live in a city dont even think about the black and white dog of the gods. Border collies and their half breed children deserve farms and to never have to put up with conforming to a breed standard.

Border collies -- you know their a great breed when they cant be entered in Westminster

I've heard that border collies will also manage your household accounts. Of course, that raises concern of possible embezzlement.

They'll also service the wife and report poachers to relevant authorities, can't make a souffle for shiat though.

GBB

2012-02-07 06:13:15 AM

Also:

mikefinch

2012-02-07 06:20:31 AM

Nogale: I've heard that border collies will also manage your household accounts. Of course, that raises concern of possible embezzlement.

They always round up the numbers?

Sprint111

2012-02-07 06:20:40 AM

The shows are set up so that the dogs are only judged against the criteria for their breed. Is this followed by every single judge for every single show? Bloody likely not, but the good judges try to stick to it to prevent personal feelings from making the call.

If you go to the official breed descriptions for each dog, there is a dizzying number of specifications. A popular, common dog has just as many points of comparison as a flashier dog.

Also, given the number of Best in Shows awarded and the number of breeds that compete, it's more statistically likely for some dogs to have never won than for all dogs to have won. Too lazy to do the actual math, but my PhD in Couch Potato Science says I'm right.

Finally, I'm glad to see the Norwegian Lundehund allowed in the show! I've been a fan of these dogs for years. They can close their ears to keep water out, have six toes on each foot, can bend their head so the top touches their back, and can splay their legs straight out. Too bad they are notoriously hard to potty train...

ronaprhys

2012-02-07 06:36:10 AM

Golden Retriever = dog
Labrador Retriever = dog
Dachshund = long rat
Chihuahua = taller than normal rat

If you're going to have a dog show, it should involve all aspects of what the dog was bred to do. Hunting, foxing, ratting, finding, guarding, etc. If they can't do that and then hold up to the breed standard, too damned bad.

Gdalescrboz

2012-02-07 06:45:58 AM

mikefinch: The Westminster Dog shows pretty much breed utility straight out of the animal so im not surprised about labs and goldens.

Im pretty set on border collie crosses - my wife had one when she grew up and i had one when i was growing up. If you live in a city dont even think about the black and white dog of the gods. Border collies and their half breed children deserve farms and to never have to put up with conforming to a breed standard.

Border collies -- you know their a great breed when they cant be entered in Westminster

FFFUUUUUUUUU

dryknife

2012-02-07 06:49:35 AM

tommyl66

2012-02-07 06:50:58 AM

Sprint111: The shows are set up so that the dogs are only judged against the criteria for their breed. Is this followed by every single judge for every single show? Bloody likely not, but the good judges try to stick to it to prevent personal feelings from making the call.

If you go to the official breed descriptions for each dog, there is a dizzying number of specifications. A popular, common dog has just as many points of comparison as a flashier dog.

Also, given the number of Best in Shows awarded and the number of breeds that compete, it's more statistically likely for some dogs to have never won than for all dogs to have won. Too lazy to do the actual math, but my PhD in Couch Potato Science says I'm right.

Finally, I'm glad to see the Norwegian Lundehund allowed in the show! I've been a fan of these dogs for years. They can close their ears to keep water out, have six toes on each foot, can bend their head so the top touches their back, and can splay their legs straight out. Too bad they are notoriously hard to potty train...

Excuse me if this is off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!

Pimple

2012-02-07 06:55:57 AM

A dachshund has never won best in show.

A dachshund doesn't care either.

zato_ichi

2012-02-07 06:57:41 AM

ArtosRC: dready zim: Those are stupid dogs.

Goldens and Labs are ~~stupid~~stubborn.

I just want to make sure that I am reading this erroneous statement correctly.

Fixed.

Basily Gourt

2012-02-07 07:03:50 AM

madgecko13: And the inbreeding award goes to....!

Yep, and that's why your golden retriever will probably end up with hip displasia. These bastid show dog breeders have little regard for the animals they produce, other than their ability to win a blue ribbon.

Want a healthy dog? Get a mutt!

aearra

2012-02-07 07:08:57 AM

Of course. They want dogs that have been bred into genetic freaks. Crazy dogs and crazier owners.

manimal2878

2012-02-07 07:15:10 AM

dready zim: There is a simple reason. Those are stupid dogs.

This is what I was thinking; they lack dignity.

Khazar-Khum

2012-02-07 07:17:06 AM

Basily Gourt: madgecko13: And the inbreeding award goes to....!

Yep, and that's why your golden retriever will probably end up with hip displasia. These bastid show dog breeders have little regard for the animals they produce, other than their ability to win a blue ribbon.

Want a healthy dog? Get a mutt!

Um, no. Mutts are just as likely to have problems. Good breeders breed away from things like displasia, which is nowhere near as common now as it used to be.

KrispyKritter

2012-02-07 07:19:53 AM

tommyl66: Sprint111: The shows are set up so that the dogs are only judged against the criteria for their breed. Is this followed by every single judge for every single show? Bloody likely not, but the good judges try to stick to it to prevent personal feelings from making the call.

If you go to the official breed descriptions for each dog, there is a dizzying number of specifications. A popular, common dog has just as many points of comparison as a flashier dog.

Also, given the number of Best in Shows awarded and the number of breeds that compete, it's more statistically likely for some dogs to have never won than for all dogs to have won. Too lazy to do the actual math, but my PhD in Couch Potato Science says I'm right.

Finally, I'm glad to see the Norwegian Lundehund allowed in the show! I've been a fan of these dogs for years. They can close their ears to keep water out, have six toes on each foot, can bend their head so the top touches their back, and can splay their legs straight out. Too bad they are notoriously hard to potty train...

Excuse me if this is off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!

honk honk! 'scuse me, but we have to be at the gym in 26 minutes...i'll tell you about my Leonberger on the way...

Khazar-Khum

2012-02-07 07:21:40 AM

mikefinch: The Westminster Dog shows pretty much breed utility straight out of the animal so im not surprised about labs and goldens.

Im pretty set on border collie crosses - my wife had one when she grew up and i had one when i was growing up. If you live in a city dont even think about the black and white dog of the gods. Border collies and their half breed children deserve farms and to never have to put up with conforming to a breed standard.

Border collies -- you know their a great breed when they cant be entered in Westminster

Guess again.

Link

One won Herding Group a few years ago.

exatron

2012-02-07 07:26:24 AM

GBB: Also:

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

Wicked Chinchilla

2012-02-07 07:26:56 AM

Labs and Dachsunds are great. It is frankly surprising they have never won. Chihuahuas have never won because they aren't dogs. They are a result of terrible interbreeding between massive sewer rats and a terribly horny terrier.

/band name?
//Hello Cleveland! We are the terribly horny terriers!

Milo Minderbinder

2012-02-07 07:53:25 AM

Who cares? I got the best dog in the world sitting next to me on the couch.

DeathByGeekSquad

2012-02-07 07:56:07 AM

Dachs are awesome, because while all of the other dogs prance around the show floor like they own the place, the Dachs are always, "FARK YOU IM HOPPIN'", and then proceed to look awesome.

Jackpot777

2012-02-07 07:56:21 AM

exatron: GBB: Also:

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

Well that's just a silly thing to say, let me look at the original image to see wha- ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

Jackpot777

2012-02-07 07:59:36 AM

Number of winners, breed

13 Wire Fox Terrier

8 Scottish Terrier

6 English Springer Spaniel

4 Airedale Terrier, American Cocker Spaniel, Boxer, Doberman Pinscher, Smooth Fox Terrier, Standard Poodle, Sealyham Terrier

3 Miniature Poodle, Pekingese, Pointer

2 Afghan Hound, Bulldog, Bull Terrier, German Shorthaired Pointer, Lakeland Terrier, Newfoundland, Norwich Terrier, Old English Sheepdog, Toy Poodle, West Highland White Terrier

1 Beagle, Bedlington Terrier, Bichon Frise, Clumber Spaniel, English Setter, German Shepherd Dog, Irish Water Spaniel, Kerry Blue Terrier, Papillon, Pomeranian, Pug, Rough Collie, Scottish Deerhound, Siberian Husky, Skye Terrier, Standard Schnauzer, Sussex Spaniel, Welsh Terrier, Whippet, Yorkshire Terrier

farm3.staticflickr.com

Sad PWC is sad.

not2bright

2012-02-07 08:01:14 AM

jpo2269

2012-02-07 08:16:41 AM

"Pimple 2012-02-07 06:55:57 AM

A dachshund has never won best in show.

A dachshund doesn't care either."

The dachshund doesn't give a fark, it just takes what it wants....

mytdawg

2012-02-07 08:19:58 AM

It's the white dogs, holding them down.

images.cheezburger.com

TNel

2012-02-07 08:27:23 AM

My great pyrenees has never won either but you don't see complaining. I will admit though he is the most stubborn dog I have ever met.

LoneDoggie

2012-02-07 08:27:30 AM

Hi guys, what's going on in this thread?

Lone Stranger

2012-02-07 08:29:09 AM

SevenizGud

2012-02-07 08:33:51 AM

All farking chihuahuas should be farking stepped on.

Chihuahua ownership is like wearing an "I'm stupid" medal.

amd1433

2012-02-07 08:37:40 AM

Not while I'm alive.

rjakobi

2012-02-07 08:39:33 AM

This is kinda like complaining that Michael Bay has never won the Academy Award even though he makes billion dollar movies.

It don't always go to the popular breeds.

OhioKnight

2012-02-07 08:41:27 AM

Guys, there are 186 breeds. Even if they made it so you could only best-in-show once per breed it would take 186 years to get everybody.

So you say Labs stink? I don't know. I have a Lab/Shepherd/Husky mix (momma was a yellow lab, daddy was a German Shepherd/Husky) and she smells like grass and dust on a cool spring evening. My wife and I love to bury our faces in her great thick ruff just for the smell.

MentalEnema

2012-02-07 08:57:14 AM

OhioKnight: So you say Labs stink? I don't know. I have a Lab/Shepherd/Husky mix (momma was a yellow lab, daddy was a German Shepherd/Husky) and she smells like grass and dust on a cool spring evening. My wife and I love to bury our faces in her great thick ruff just for the smell.

My 14 year old black lab with skin allergies smells like sugar plums and roses.

/not really, she smells like dirty socks and Denorex
//still love her though

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