by Luis Prada - March 12, 2008

Every single one of those is a theatrical masterpiece compared to Resident Evil on the PSX. (new window)

Someone who doesn't think that's classic Walken just doesn't understand Walken.

I just get a kick out of the fact that Esbern and Arngeir are both nominated for the same Academy Award this year.

Bukharin: by Luis Prada - March 12, 2008

Yeah, I knew something was up when the writer referred to Gary Coleman as though he were still alive.

Spread over 4 f*cking pages, amirite?

/cracked sucks

The one that always stuck with me:



Oh yes... I knew.

Was expecting this. I don't want your twisted love.

Doctaw Wowwy.

What IS this?

Whoever wrote this article has obviously never played a Resident Evil game.

Gordon Bennett: Every single one of those is a theatrical masterpiece compared to Resident Evil on the PSX. (new window)

I thoroughly enjoyed Resident Evil 2's pauses for the disc to spin. Hold your Fire, I'm a human................................................................. ...................................................................... ...................................................................... ...................................................................... ..........................................................Sorry about that.

urban.derelict: Spread over 4 f*cking pages, amirite?

/cracked sucks

Amazingly, it's all on one page. I'm sure someone will fix that soon.

Tyrone Slothrop: Amazingly, it's all on one page. I'm sure someone will fix that soon.

This article is 4 years old, so it's surprising they haven't "fixed" it yet.

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: I just get a kick out of the fact that Esbern and Arngeir are both nominated for the same Academy Award this year.

Speaking of which, they really needed to fire the guy who voiced the Whiterun wizard.

What ever happened to the Walken tag, anyways? Never seen it.

Honorable mention

Nothing for LA Noire? It's cool how that game captured actors' facial expressions and all, but they chose some crappy actors for many parts.

1. Cracked doesn't suck, it rules. You suck.
2. I've never understood the fascination with Walken. He does the same schtick in every part he plays.

These are actual recoreded videos, not just voice acting. That explains a lot.

Old article is old.

Also, video game performances are terrible because actors are very much dependent on their director. It's only been this generation that we've seen video gaming largely address this need.

However, it seems as though 50 Cent: Blood in the Sand was the modern equivalent of Duke Nukem that Duke Nukem Forever tried to be.

Damnation probably has the worst voice over acting I've ever heard. It's one of those things where you can't help but laugh and feel embarrassed for them.

The 50 Cent stuff is so bad it's actually good again. I guess the nature of his games are so ridiculous and I don't take him seriously anyway that there's a camp factor involved that allows me to forgive it.

Poor Old Man Stauf

Fano: Poor Old Man Stauf

When I was a kid I got the 7th Guest for Christmas one year. It came with a VHS tape, believe it or not, that had a "making of" video on it. In one of the scenes, one of the actresses was saying that due to the resolution of the video, actors had to overly-emote in order for it to be seen by the audience. Whenever I see one of these terrible 90's era FMV games, I always think of that.

I tried taping over the video, but the thing only had 5 minutes of actual tape inside.

/csb

Is...this...blood?

I...hope...it's...not...Chris's...blood!

I guess it was closer to 15 minutes long. Still too short a VHS tape to record the Simpsons (also relevant at the time).

Here she is at the 7:43 minute mark. (new window)

Bukharin: by Luis Prada - March 12, 2008

Other can't-miss articles "coming soon" from Cracked:

- Top 10 reasons why we should be worried about the Y2K bug
- Top 10 possible replacements for Johnny Carson
- Top 10 Reasons why Duke Nukem Forever is never coming out

/maybe it costs more to get new articles greened

OMG was that a Cracked list all on ONE PAGE?

Stay a while, and LISTEN!

Treygreen13
Anyway, any list of bad video game acting that includes Command and Conquer games is missing the point. It's supposed to be terribly cheesy.

Indeed. Came here to link this awesomeness (new window).

NobleHam: Nothing for LA Noire? It's cool how that game captured actors' facial expressions and all, but they chose some crappy actors for many parts.

LA Noire came out long after this article was written.

Two things:

1.- They read my mind perfectly: We know what you're asking yourself. "Did I just accidentally stumble onto a list of the best cutscene performances of all time?" LOL, I was thinking: "but Billy sounds awesome in this! what's the problem?" oh boy...

2.- Dana Plato was so beautiful and hot. Jeez, what a shame she ended it all. I could have given her all the tender and caring love she needed.
Damn you fate for keeping Dana and me apart :(

Night Trap. My god I haven't thought about that game in a long time. It was great when you were 8 years old. Got to stalk teenage girls and watch them have pillow fights. Good stuff.

/Off to find a rom and relive the cheesy glory

Carl Weathers, LA Noir

Uh, the worst acting in Tiberium Wars was, by far, Jennifer Morrison. She was just beyond atrocious. I actually thought Billy D played the "corrupt, cowardly politician" role pretty well.

/pours one out for Westwood.

Wayne 985: Gordon Bennett: Every single one of those is a theatrical masterpiece compared to Resident Evil on the PSX. (new window)

Oh, jeez... I may have to revise my complaint about Skyrim. Sure, some of it is really stiff, but I'd forgotten how downright cornball some of those older games were. I guess I was 10 or 11 when Resident Evil first came out, so my memory of it isn't crystal clear, but... wow.

The funny thing is that at that same time there was some superlative voice acting in point and clicky adventure games. Discworld was perhaps the best, with Rob Brydon, Jon Pertwee, Tony Robinson and Eric Idle doing multiple voices. Chris Barrie was every bit as snide in Simon the Sorceror as he was in Red Dwarf.

Lucasarts always had excellent voice acting and sound design in their games. Sam and Max Hit the Road is my personal favourite.

Then right in the midst of that Capcom dropped a massive audio turd in Resident Evil. Really quite a pity as it's otherwise a remarkably atmospheric game, particularly in retrospect given the visual limitations of the PSX and the relative lack of history in the survival horror genre. Before Resi there was Alone in the Dark, D and... erm... Clock Tower on the SNES?

'Ira" your first recruit from Jagged Alliance 2. An entire character who's dialogue is so painful I turned off the voice acting for the entire game just to not have to listen to her.

Goldman from House of the Dead 2 is the most laughably bad acting i've ever seen, skip to a minute in for his Oscar worthy preformance.

Link (new window)

Huh......Radio.