ArkAngel: Note to self: when asking girlfriends to shave pubic hair, do not say "Will somebody get this walking carpet out of my way?"

SO MUCH WIN!!!!!

Does making out with my sister count for anything?

much better (new window)

I liked Star Wars ok as a kid, but for adults it's a pretty corny, ham-handed allegory. A hack got realllly rich, so there's that. Everybody's gotta believe in somethin I guess. I believe I'll have a whiskey.

/cry

CoonAce: I liked Star Wars ok as a kid, but for adults it's a pretty corny, ham-handed allegory. A hack got realllly rich, so there's that. Everybody's gotta believe in somethin I guess. I believe I'll have a whiskey.

The first movie is for kids and adults. It is a good movie.

The second movie is for adults. It is a great movie.

The third movie is for kids. It is a mediocre movie.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth movies are for nobody. They are terrible.

TFA: I first saw Star Wars when I was around six years old, and upon my first viewing (old school, on VHS), I remember immediately being terrified of Darth Vader. He must have stood 20, 30 feet tall in my mind, even though he was just inches on my screen. His presence was overwhelming, alarming even, and everything - from how he talked to the way he moved - fascinated and frightened me. I envied his power, as any kid would, and knew that there was something extraordinary (in the truest sense of the word) about him - and yet I knew that this was not a person (was he even one?) I wanted to be.

"Old school" is not watching it on VHS, it's watching it in the theater when it first came out. That aside, I had pretty much the same experience. My dad took me to see it for my seventh birthday; as we left the theater, he asked me if I liked it. I said I loved it, "especially Star Fader". Fast-forward to my 20s and...

CoonAce: I liked Star Wars ok as a kid, but for adults it's a pretty corny, ham-handed allegory. A hack got realllly rich, so there's that. Everybody's gotta believe in somethin I guess. I believe I'll have a whiskey.

This. I'm hanging on to the DVDs for our sons (I want them to see the original versions) but it's not like SW is the end-all be-all of cinema.

The Larch: The fourth, fifth, and sixth movies are for nobody. They are terrible.

Well, as they center around that Luke brat, I tend to agree.

The Larch: The fourth, fifth, and sixth movies are for nobody. They are terrible.

Fifth movie was the best of them all IMO for no other reason then just before Han is frozen....Leigh says "I love you", without missing a beat and like a pimp Han says "I know".

Most 'pimp' line in any movie ever.

From the comments:

Not ALL criticisms. At least no one ever said the word "yippie" in the original trilogy. Or lines like "I WISH I could just WISH away my feelings!" (though it's not really fair to bring up Attack of the Clones right now). Of course none of them are perfect. None of them are anywhere NEAR perfect. I've never seen a perfect movie. Have you?

I'd go for:

A Clockwork Orange (almost all Kubrick films)
12 Angry men
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
The Good, the Bad and the ugly
Young Frankenstein
All of Me
O' Brother Where Art Thou? (most Coen films)

Just a few off the top of my head.

A Clockwork Orange is a terrible movie.

I will NEVER go see Phantom Menace in a theater again...unless said theater agrees to play the Rifftrax audio along with.

Divinegrace:
Fifth movie was the best of them all IMO for no other reason then just before Han is frozen....Leigh says "I love you", without missing a beat and like a pimp Han says "I know".

Most 'pimp' line in any movie ever.

Yes, but even pimps know it's "Leia". FTFY

Divinegrace: The Larch: The fourth, fifth, and sixth movies are for nobody. They are terrible.

Fifth movie was the best of them all IMO for no other reason then just before Han is frozen....Leigh says "I love you", without missing a beat and like a pimp Han says "I know".

Most 'pimp' line in any movie ever.

It was even better at the end when he tells Leigh "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Ice cold.

If you don't know the difference between light and dark and good and evil before you stumbled into a matinee of Star Wars, you had all the makings of a sociopath. I don't know about anybody else but I learned the difference from my parents.

Fano: much better (new window)

Divinegrace: Fifth movie was the best of them all IMO for no other reason then just before Han is frozen....Leigh says "I love you", without missing a beat and like a pimp Han says "I know".

The fact that George Lucas thinks its one of the worst movies of the franchise tells you a little bit about how disconnected with his original fan base he is.

/personally think it was his ex-wife who was the real soul of the original franchise
//hell of an editor she was

The Larch: CoonAce: I liked Star Wars ok as a kid, but for adults it's a pretty corny, ham-handed allegory. A hack got realllly rich, so there's that. Everybody's gotta believe in somethin I guess. I believe I'll have a whiskey.

The first movie is for kids and adults. It is a good movie.

The second movie is for adults. It is a great movie.

The third movie is for kids. It is a mediocre movie.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth movies are for nobody. They are terrible.

ohyou.jpg

I've kept mum so far, but I've noticed that, for quite a while now, there's been a Star Wars related link every single day. A day may go by without a Star Wars greenlight, but it's generally followed by a day in which we have three or four greenlit Star Wars links at once, spread amongst the tabs.

Not making a statement; just find it... curious that we're acknowledging, EVERY SINGLE DAY, a movie franchise that was spawned 36 years ago. Make no mistake: I'm the sort of geek that can quote the whole damn trilogy and hum the soundtrack from start to finish. I just find it odd.

highbrow45: A Clockwork Orange is a terrible movie.

Hey, how are things on your planet?

Samwise Gamgee: I've kept mum so far, but I've noticed that, for quite a while now, there's been a Star Wars related link every single day. A day may go by without a Star Wars greenlight, but it's generally followed by a day in which we have three or four greenlit Star Wars links at once, spread amongst the tabs.

Not making a statement; just find it... curious that we're acknowledging, EVERY SINGLE DAY, a movie franchise that was spawned 36 years ago. Make no mistake: I'm the sort of geek that can quote the whole damn trilogy and hum the soundtrack from start to finish. I just find it odd.

Star Wars is the secret religion of generation X. Learn to cope.

- Elites have an inherent right to arbitrary rule; common citizens needn't be consulted. They may only choose which elite to follow.
- "Good" elites should act on their subjective whims, without evidence, argument or accountability.
- Any amount of sin can be forgiven if you are important enough.
- True leaders are born. It's genetic. The right to rule is inherited.
- Justified human emotions can turn a good person evil. (new window)

Mad_Radhu: - Elites have an inherent right to arbitrary rule; common citizens needn't be consulted. They may only choose which elite to follow.
- "Good" elites should act on their subjective whims, without evidence, argument or accountability.
- Any amount of sin can be forgiven if you are important enough.
- True leaders are born. It's genetic. The right to rule is inherited.
- Justified human emotions can turn a good person evil. (new window)

That was a good read.

I will say this about Ep1: It is about 1/3 awesome fan service, 1/2 complete Barney the Dinosaur, and 1/6 typical boring/bleh Lucas. And that 1/3 is worth it, somewhat. I just wish they left MacGregor alive for another movie or two, because he was definitely the only anchor other than McGregor holding it together

I used to be about as deeply geeked for Star Wars as any child of the 70's can be. Maybe I changed a little, but I think Star Wars changed more. It lost the magic for me and that is kinda sad.

The things that will never change for me, even at nearly 40 years old: I still have a thing for feisty brunettes, fast hunks of junk, and the imperial march.

/oh and for small exhaust ports, right below the main port
//not really, the wife always says "But I poop from there!"

highbrow45: A Clockwork Orange is a terrible movie.

if you didn't "understand" the movie you should try and read the book without moving your lips.

A Clockwork Orange is considered a masterpiece on a number of levels, whether you "like" it or not.
your opinion is, sadly for you, just that.

and quite worthless

bhcompy: I will say this about Ep1: It is about 1/3 awesome fan service, 1/2 complete Barney the Dinosaur, and 1/6 typical boring/bleh Lucas. And that 1/3 is worth it, somewhat. I just wish they left MacGregor alive for another movie or two, because he was definitely the only anchor other than McGregor holding it together

nooo you mean Liam Neeson who was in Dark Tide Man..He played Kee Gong Gin Rummy..

MacGregor is a fast food chain in Scotland where Yewan Megleggerd is frum...He played Oldi Wab Kenolti...

MacGregor is also what you call pushing over a drunk non Scot who gets drunk and wears a kilt to any event you invite him to..

I wish there was more MacGruber in the Empire Strikes Gold too...

.

highbrow45: A Clockwork Orange is a terrible movie.

Your mother is a terrible person for not aborting you.

James Scameron: highbrow45: A Clockwork Orange is a terrible movie.

if you didn't "understand" the movie you should try and read the book without moving your lips.

A Clockwork Orange is considered a masterpiece on a number of levels, whether you "like" it or not.
your opinion is, sadly for you, just that.

and quite worthless

Who would like a movie about clocks? I mean, Hook was okay, but seriously?

vrax: highbrow45: A Clockwork Orange is a terrible movie.

Hey, how are things on your planet?

[i39.tinypic.com image 278x278]

Things are quite queer on his planet

There's no shame in being a virgin at age 30.

I hope.

bhcompy: I just wish they left MacGregor alive for another movie or two, because he was definitely the only anchor other than McGregor holding it together

What?

bhcompy: I will say this about Ep1: It is about 1/3 awesome fan service, 1/2 complete Barney the Dinosaur, and 1/6 typical boring/bleh Lucas. And that 1/3 is worth it, somewhat. I just wish they left MacGregor alive for another movie or two, because he was definitely the only anchor other than McGregor holding it together

Actually the fan service is at the heart of every bad decision in the prequel trilogy. Jango Fett? The Clone Troopers being the source of Storm Troopers? Yoda as a whirling dervish swordsman? Chewbacca as a general on Kashyyk?

I can imagine Lucas being frustrated saying "I gave these nerds everything they wanted... what went wrong?"

Also, I couldn't get behind MacGregor because he was always so mean to that nice rabbit that just wanted some cabbages to eat. I mean, stealing his shoes and coat to use for a scarecrow?

hollowmoon: bhcompy: I just wish they left MacGregor alive for another movie or two, because he was definitely the only anchor other than McGregor holding it together

What?

Robert Roy MacGregor

Fano: bhcompy: I will say this about Ep1: It is about 1/3 awesome fan service, 1/2 complete Barney the Dinosaur, and 1/6 typical boring/bleh Lucas. And that 1/3 is worth it, somewhat. I just wish they left MacGregor alive for another movie or two, because he was definitely the only anchor other than McGregor holding it together

Actually the fan service is at the heart of every bad decision in the prequel trilogy. Jango Fett? The Clone Troopers being the source of Storm Troopers? Yoda as a whirling dervish swordsman? Chewbacca as a general on Kashyyk?

I can imagine Lucas being frustrated saying "I gave these nerds everything they wanted... what went wrong?"

Also, I couldn't get behind MacGregor because he was always so mean to that nice rabbit that just wanted some cabbages to eat. I mean, stealing his shoes and coat to use for a scarecrow?

Later on, maybe, but the lightsaber fights, Darth Maul, and Qui Gon/Obi Wan were perfect.

There is only one movie (in the series) that is completely unwatchable for me and that is AOTC. The last 45 minutes is CGI overload and it has the only terrible light sabre battle in the series.

If you take out one line, the last hour of ROTS is about as good as it could be (starting right after the turn).

TPM has good parts and not so good parts.

ANH is REALLY slow in parts. Pretty much nothing happens for long chunks of time.

TESB is the best of the lot.

ROTJ is amazing on a technical level and has some amazing sequences. If the ewok portion was significantly trimmed it could be the 2nd best in the series.

mjbok: ROTJ is amazing on a technical level and has some amazing sequences. If the ewok portion was significantly trimmed it could be the 2nd best in the series.

ROTJ gets hate, but it does have some great scenes and definitely has the best space battle(by FAR)

ladyhawk: I will NEVER go see Phantom Menace in a theater again...unless said theater agrees to play the Rifftrax audio along with.

Divinegrace:
Fifth movie was the best of them all IMO for no other reason then just before Han is frozen....Leigh says "I love you", without missing a beat and like a pimp Han says "I know".

Most 'pimp' line in any movie ever.

Yes, but even pimps know it's "Leia". FTFY

Han was 'pimp'....me, not so much. You are right, it is indeed Leia. Good catch ladyhawk

An interesting set of articles on Star Wars. (new window)

I'd skip to the end of the article, because the link goes to the 6th part in the 6 part series and it has links to all the prior ones at the end. Basically it's a long time fan who is showing his sons, aged 7 and 3 Star Wars for the first time. He showed them in this order :4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6, which I thought was an interesting chronology.

The problem with the prequels is mostly that the context they provide completely reverses who the good guys and the bad guys are in the original trilogy. The "evil empire" is actually run by the duly-elected representatives of the galactic republic, and the emperor is actually the chancellor of said assembly, granted emergency powers in an entirely legal and acceptable faction to deal with the very real threat of domestic terrorists.

The Jedi aren't on the run and outlawed because they're the good guys, they're outlawed and on the run because they attempted to "arrest" and murder the duly-elected chancellor of the republic and stage a goddamned coup. They're also revealed to be creepy religious zealots that use methods eerily reminiscent of Scientology to kidnap, isolate, and brainwash children of a very young age. Whereas the Sith gained their unnatural and sinister influence by the devilish method of running for and being voted into public office. ooooooh, the perfidy.

The evil clone exploitation was started by the Jedi, and they came to serve the Republic (i.e. the empire) when the Empire took them on as part of their emancipation.

Tarkin, admittedly, is still a villain, with the planet-exploding and so on, but in the context of being the last Jedi loyal to the actual republic things like Vader's disapproval of the weapon in general, the reluctance of stormtroopers to actually kill things in lieu of suppressing fire, and Vader's super-jedi piloting skills "failing" at the end of episode 4 sort of have a different light shining on them. As does the contrasting fact that the heroes calmly murder their way through hundreds of those reluctant soldiers even when it's not strictly necessary.

Basically, it annoys me that starting at Episode 4 gives you one story, and starting at Episode 1 gives you an entirely different story with the heroes and villains flipped around and the tragedy bumped up a notch by the sinister brainwashing cult murdering the president and the last loyal Jedi at the end. Thanks, George. Thanks.

- Elites have an inherent right to arbitrary rule; common citizens needn't be consulted. They may only choose which elite to follow.
- "Good" elites should act on their subjective whims, without evidence, argument or accountability.
- Any amount of sin can be forgiven if you are important enough.
- True leaders are born. It's genetic. The right to rule is inherited.
- Justified human emotions can turn a good person evil.



Agreed

ArkAngel: Note to self: when asking girlfriends to shave pubic hair, do not say "Will somebody get this walking carpet out of my way?"

You came in that thing? You are braver than I thought.

Excerpt from Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs:

Everything said about GenXers-both positive and negative-was completely true. Twenty somethings in the nineties rejected the traditional working-class American lifestyle because (a) they were smart enough to realize those values were unsatisfying, and (b) they were totally farking lazy. Twenty somethings in the nineties embraced a record like Nirvana's Nevermind because (a) it was a sociocultural affront to the vapidity of the Reagan-era paradigm, and (b) it farking rocked. Twenty somethings in the nineties were by and large depressed about the future, mostly because (a) they knew there was very little to look forward to, and (b) they were obsessed with staring into the eyes of their own self-absorbed sadness. There are no myths about Generation X. It's all true.

This being said, it's clear that Luke Skywalker was the original GenXer. For one thing, he was incessantly whiny. For another, he was exhaustively educated-via Yoda-about things that had little practical value (i.e., how to stand on one's head while lifting a rock telekinetically). Essentially, Luke went to the University of Dagobah with a major in Buddhist philosophy with a minor in physical education. There's not a lot of career opportunities for that kind of schooling; that's probably why he dropped out in the middle of the semester. Meanwhile, Luke's only romantic aspirations are directed toward a woman who (literally) looks at him like a brother. His dad is on his case to join the family business. Most significantly, all the problems in his life can be directly blamed on the generation that came before him, and specifically on his father's views about what to believe (i.e., respect authority, dress conservatively, annihilate innocent planets, etc.).

Man, Chuck Klosterman sure is attaining Kevin Smithian/Joss Whedon levels of "for the win"

Mad_Radhu: - Elites have an inherent right to arbitrary rule; common citizens needn't be consulted. They may only choose which elite to follow.
- "Good" elites should act on their subjective whims, without evidence, argument or accountability.
- Any amount of sin can be forgiven if you are important enough.
- True leaders are born. It's genetic. The right to rule is inherited.
- Justified human emotions can turn a good person evil. (new window)

Star Wars isn't the greatest series ever, but that review is shiat.

There is nothing supporting "arbitrary rule". In fact the trebels fightingt he empire say it is wrong.

Darth was forgiven by luke because he was his dad and saved him, the rest fo the universe still hated him.

No idea where he gets the rest of the garbage.