Drop the chalupa!

"the burrito's rightful owner", your Fark band name of the day.

Hey, that's nacho cheese!

I totally thought this was going to be about something else.

Different slang, I guess

According to the criminal complaint, Sanders pistol-whipped the burrito owner.

I think you can just show the guy the gun and he'll give up the burrito. No need to pistol whip.

"You spit on my burrito. Wipe it off."

Approves.

The Onion is prophetic: If you agree to let two complete strangers have a bite from burrito, just give the whole thing to them... you don't want it back after that.

Exactly. What a disgusting thing to agree to.

Actually, a giant burrito sounds good right now. And since I woke up at the crack of noon this'll count as breakfast.

I'd only pistol-whip someone over the Sully Burrito.

Hey, do you mind if I have a, bite of your hot dog?

Ahhh yes, the moral equivalent of Latinos touching another man's burrito to touching Keith David's french fries.

We are running out of french fries and burrito coverings...But I got a solution.

This is why I always vomit on my burrito the second I unwrap it.

Come back in the morning.

/obscure

just because

When a couple of pistol-packing thugs walk off with your burrito, it's better to forget about it, because, hey man, it's gone.

Hello Seattle, my name is Inigo Montoya and we are ALBUQUERQUE BURRITO HEIST!

Two burrito-loving men are in jail tonight...

THAT sounds like a naughty video title

I want my burrito back burrito back burrito back burrito back burrito back burrito back ribs.

The Albuquerque Police Department said Anthony Sanders and Louis Vasquez reportedly approached a man on Zuni Road in Albuquerque and asked to have a bite of his burrito.

Is this like the Albuquerque equivalent of the old New Orleans scam? "I bet you five dollars I know where you got that burrito."

/if you're heading south and haven't landed by Zuni Road, you're in BIG trouble
//what is Zuni Road made of? Lead and Coal

Hardcore is when you'll pistol whip a guy to keep his used burrito.

That's one of the strangest "news" articles I've ever taken the time to read.

Burquenos get kinda weird about burritos. If it had been from Frontier/Golden Pride then a threatening asking would have gotten the burrito from me. If it had been from Monroe's then a pistol whipping would have been required.

ABQ pro-tip. The biggest, best, cheapest burritos come from Carrie Tingley cafeteria on Uni. The lady there hand rolls them like a farking cigar. A 12" tortilla wraps around once with only about 3/4" of overlap. She brings her own green chile in. Oh god I'm hungry now!

AgentBang: That's one of the strangest "news" articles I've ever taken the time to read.

It was actually stranger to hear on the local news last night. Reported with much gravity and seriousness.

FTFA: "According to the criminal complaint, Sanders pistol-whipped the burrito owner."

So how come Sanders looks like he's the one who got pistol-whipped, in the mouth? No way he came out of the womb that way! It's like his jaw is on crooked.

/Police love burritos too?

FirstNationalBastard: Wasn't that a Meatloaf song... "Life is a lemon and I want my burrito back"?

Nope. Jimmy Buffett.

Enjoy your burrito!

rudemix: ABQ pro-tip. The biggest, best, cheapest burritos come from Carrie Tingley cafeteria on Uni. The lady there hand rolls them like a farking cigar. A 12" tortilla wraps around once with only about 3/4" of overlap. She brings her own green chile in. Oh god I'm hungry now!

Another ABQ pro-tip. Stay away from the breakfast burritos on Fiesta Field.

/if you don't want to stay confined to a port-a-potty during mass ascension

This is no laughing matter! That burrito was the last of its kind.

goddammitalltohell.

Now I want a Chipotle.

MBooda: rudemix: ABQ pro-tip. The biggest, best, cheapest burritos come from Carrie Tingley cafeteria on Uni. The lady there hand rolls them like a farking cigar. A 12" tortilla wraps around once with only about 3/4" of overlap. She brings her own green chile in. Oh god I'm hungry now!

Another ABQ pro-tip. Stay away from the breakfast burritos on Fiesta Field.

/if you don't want to stay confined to a port-a-potty during mass ascension

Duly noted!

MBooda: The Albuquerque Police Department said Anthony Sanders and Louis Vasquez reportedly approached a man on Zuni Road in Albuquerque and asked to have a bite of his burrito.

Is this like the Albuquerque equivalent of the old New Orleans scam? "I bet you five dollars I know where you got that burrito."

/if you're heading south and haven't landed by Zuni Road, you're in BIG trouble
//what is Zuni Road made of? Lead and Coal

LOL. That's why I live in Edgewood, where a man's burrito is his own!