FARK.com: (6924968) Ke$ha: "When I'm depressed I make my assistant put on a penis outfit and dance around"

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		Ke$ha: "When I'm depressed I make my assistant put on a penis outfit and dance around" (digitalspy.com)		52
		More: Strange, one-night stands, kinetic energy, Super Bowl XLVI, things, Cee-Lo, cannibals, Vampire Diaries

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4642 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Feb 2012 at 1:41 PM | Favorite | share:

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52 Comments (+0 »)

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Jamdug!

2012-02-06 11:57:39 AM

Take a shower and hit the gym, ugly.

NowhereMon

2012-02-06 12:19:24 PM

Can't she just kill herself like everybody else?

give me doughnuts

2012-02-06 12:35:13 PM

Dateline: Los Angeles

The entertainment word was ~~shocked stunned~~ mildly annoyed to hear the tragic news that pop "singer" Ke-dollar sign-ha was found dead in her Hollywood home.

She was found in bed having been stabbed 87 times. A large kitchen knife, a blood-stained penis costume, and a signed confession note were found nearby.

Police are not seeking any leads, have no suspects, and have gone off to get more doughnuts. When asked about his departments lack of effort, an LAPD spokeman said, "Dude, have you ever been forced to listen to 'We R Who We R'?. What did you expect?"

xanadian

2012-02-06 01:26:27 PM

What a dick.

xanadian

2012-02-06 01:27:12 PM

No, wait, sorry. What I meant to say was:

What a di¢k.

Diogenes

2012-02-06 01:28:56 PM

As Sara Bareilles said, "Ke$ha is scary."

Mike_LowELL

2012-02-06 01:35:08 PM

ur just mad i make it glitter make it rain go insaen goinsane make it gitler amke it riannnnnn

MightyPez

2012-02-06 01:47:46 PM

Admittedly, if someone dressed up in a penis costume and danced around for me it would cheer me up too.

Millennium

2012-02-06 01:49:52 PM

What ever happened to brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack?

Porous Horace

2012-02-06 01:49:56 PM

Don't we all?

DD44Dostivei

2012-02-06 01:50:29 PM

Agreed, high living at its finest.

My respect for Kesha just shot up 900%

That coward David Lopan

2012-02-06 01:56:46 PM

DD44Dostivei: Agreed, high living at its finest.

My respect for Kesha just shot up 900%

Mine too. Which makes her go from "Hopes she is standing directly under the next nuclear bomb to drop" to "Hope she is riding on top of the next nuclear bomb to drop".

Splinshints

2012-02-06 01:58:41 PM

Mike_LowELL: ur just mad i make it glitter make it rain go insaen goinsane make it gitler amke it riannnnnn

Tom Waits?

cgraves67

2012-02-06 01:58:52 PM

So, instead of taking Xanax and drinking a fifth of Jack to sooth her depression, she humiliates her assistants, who then take Xanax and a fifth of Jack.

Saborlas

2012-02-06 01:59:22 PM

Well, she's in the ballpark...

LewDux

2012-02-06 02:01:12 PM

Who?

Schroepnuts

2012-02-06 02:04:52 PM

I really cannot look at pictures of this chick, I feel like i will get herpes of the eyes

mat catastrophe

2012-02-06 02:05:07 PM

Still better than Gaga.

bottsicus

2012-02-06 02:10:05 PM

Man, she's obnoxious as f*ck...

Freakin Rican

2012-02-06 02:11:20 PM

so i guess were back to greenlighing kesha links again?

it was so nice without her around

Abe Vigoda's Ghost

2012-02-06 02:11:22 PM

Such a sex symbol.

IXI Jim IXI

2012-02-06 02:17:49 PM

For those of us who have received tickets to hell through the years...

i2.cdnds.net

This is your captain speaking...

MysticSavage

2012-02-06 02:19:34 PM

We have now found a worse job than assistant crack whore.

IXI Jim IXI

2012-02-06 02:21:41 PM

I think we should reserve judgement until we find out the going rate is for someone whose job duties include dressing up like a giant penis in front of a vapid twunt.

IXI Jim IXI

2012-02-06 02:23:07 PM

Since when is causing an autotuner to explode "pushing boundries"?

Patterson

2012-02-06 02:26:44 PM

"Tee hee. *casually mentions sex*...I'm such a liberated, modern woman!"

Hit the road toots. You ain't even attractive.

johnny queso

2012-02-06 02:55:33 PM

She sounds charming.

M0nkeyp0x

2012-02-06 02:57:56 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [static.poponthepop.com image 480x720]
[theskinnywebsite.com image 560x840]
[pics.hollywoodrag.com image 367x550]
[belieber.files.wordpress.com image 480x720]

Such a sex symbol.

Why is her torso so big?

ExperianScaresCthulhu

2012-02-06 03:17:37 PM

I like Ke$ha. She produces crap, but at least she writes her own crap. That's more respectable than just singing someone else's crap.

TDBoedy

2012-02-06 03:19:18 PM

I'm in love..srsly

Adalius

2012-02-06 04:01:57 PM

I'd rain on her roof deck.

/If you know what I mean.
//And I'm sure you do.
///It means I'd ejaculate all over her.

UCFRoadWarrior

2012-02-06 04:24:41 PM

Reason # 254,671 why white girls should never use black chick names

Skr

2012-02-06 04:38:16 PM

Now with detachable penis attachments. Who would have thunk it?

BalugaJoe

2012-02-06 04:43:22 PM

steviesgirl777

2012-02-06 04:52:41 PM

oh yeah shes a great role model. i hope she dies down soon because this is not where i want my music to be when i die

vinnydoz007

2012-02-06 04:57:13 PM

I dont know shiat about this girl other than shes made like 4 terrible songs that are always on the radio. But have you ever, in such a short account, seen a person sound so proud of themselves for accomplishing nothing really in particular. "Im a ballsy person...I have more balls than most men"

No argument here tranny, but seriously, your not edgy, your not pushing boundaries. your dressing like a whore and making bad yet catchy music. Stop praising yourself. Your terrible.

blacksharpiemarker

2012-02-06 05:18:49 PM

I'm kind of happy people like her exist. They'll either keep pushing the boundaries (of being cheap talentless whores) until everyone gets sick of them and there's no market for their kind anymore, or they'll help realize the imminent destruction of human "culture" (at which point, we'll be absolutely obligated to reevaluate our priorities as a species).

Quantum Apostrophe

2012-02-06 06:05:31 PM

vinnydoz007: I dont know shiat about this girl other than shes made like 4 terrible songs that are always on the radio. But have you ever, in such a short account, seen a person sound so proud of themselves for accomplishing nothing really in particular. "Im a ballsy person...I have more balls than most men"

No argument here tranny, but seriously, your not edgy, your not pushing boundaries. your dressing like a whore and making bad yet catchy music. Stop praising yourself. Your terrible.

Pushing the boundaries of not knowing the difference between your and you're...

kmfjd

2012-02-06 06:13:21 PM

IXI Jim IXI: For those of us who have received tickets to hell through the years...

[i2.cdnds.net image 550x710]

This is your captain speaking...

Did the Captain just blow a smurf?

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

2012-02-06 06:51:37 PM

I am intrigued by Kesha, and by "intrigued" I mean "unsure how she manages to look so totally unemployable."

B.L.Z. Bub

2012-02-06 06:52:01 PM

UCFRoadWarrior: Reason # 254,671 why white girls should never use black chick names

Her name is Kesha, not Keisha.

mhd

2012-02-06 06:55:02 PM

She looks like Viva Bianca bitten by a radioactive crab louse.

Knara

2012-02-06 08:20:50 PM

Kesha is a former band geek who realized in order to make any real money in music you have to cultivate an image that people will talk about, not necessarily like, and then put out some songs to support that image.

I'm insanely jealous of her savvy.

laid back w/bud light

2012-02-06 08:22:52 PM

Her music sucks, her voice sucks ,and her body looks like she gained the "freshman 15" with no ass. Not even worthy of a hate-fark.

dramatools

2012-02-07 02:29:55 AM

Never mind that this is probably more Ke$ha's speed:
www.wataugawatch.net

Neondistraction

2012-02-07 06:02:16 AM

dramatools: [i40.tinypic.com image 540x345]
Never mind that this is probably more Ke$ha's speed:
[www.wataugawatch.net image 182x500]

I always pictured her as the Dark Eyes type.

/ just thinking about it makes me wanna hurl. Much like her 'music'...

DjangoStonereaver

2012-02-07 07:39:03 AM

Every interview with her reads like an A&R rep's canned speech.

Amurica...Fark Ya!

2012-02-07 10:00:09 AM

Make it rain? Naw...maybe hail, but not rain.

t1.gstatic.com

/hail damage

bumfuzzled

2012-02-07 10:00:49 AM

I, for one, am glad to see that someone has finally challenged the stereotype that you must be attractive to be successful in the music industry.

Looks like you just need a complete lack of shame, plus autotune.

/"successful" is very subjective

Orgasmatron138

2012-02-07 04:56:21 PM

I make an effort in every Kesha thread to point out that she looks like Jason Hervey.

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