FARK.com: (6924361) Paging Dr. Zaius to the Denver Zoo

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		Paging Dr. Zaius to the Denver Zoo (denverpost.com)		48
		More: Hero, Denver Zoo, Sumatran, Lucille Ball, operating rooms, Diana Boon, Dr. Zaius, Ruben Alvero

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14600 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2012 at 6:04 AM | Favorite | share:

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48 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Cyno01

2012-02-05 11:26:54 PM

Cool story, but i get the feeling this thread will devolve into a healthcare flamewar...

Remember, humans outnumber orangutans 700000:1.

Bathia_Mapes

2012-02-05 11:37:56 PM

vudukungfu

2012-02-05 11:39:38 PM

Cyno01: Remember, humans outnumber orangutans 700000:1.

We're not endangered.
We can afford to cull out herd.

AverageAmericanGuy

2012-02-06 12:01:38 AM

Got your hands off me, you damned, dirty man!

bighasbeen

2012-02-06 12:03:37 AM

violentsalvation

2012-02-06 12:12:07 AM

That story made me happy. Good luck Sally.

John_Denver_Lives

2012-02-06 01:25:48 AM

/this picture always makes me laugh

Car_Ramrod

2012-02-06 03:39:57 AM

Can I play the piano any more?

Of course you can!

Well I couldn't before!

ka1axy

2012-02-06 06:13:03 AM

That's a great story to read first thing. Great docs, great people and a great outcome.
Good luck, Sally.

farkingismybusiness

2012-02-06 06:16:15 AM

Stop the Planet of the Apes. I Want to Get Off!

chaddsfarkprefect

2012-02-06 06:17:22 AM

FTFA: She's a strong, stubborn woman

No, it's a female orangutan and they're referred to as Gingrapes.

Day_Old_Dutchie

2012-02-06 06:27:08 AM

chaddsfarkprefect: FTFA: She's a strong, stubborn woman

No, it's a female orangutan and they're referred to as Gingrapes.

As a apposed to a philandering old ape known as Gingrich.

farkingismybusiness

2012-02-06 06:36:48 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: chaddsfarkprefect: FTFA: She's a strong, stubborn woman

No, it's a female orangutan and they're referred to as Gingrapes.

As a apposed to a philandering old ape known as Gingrich.

I hate all apes. From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.

Mock26

2012-02-06 06:51:34 AM

farkingismybusiness: Day_Old_Dutchie: chaddsfarkprefect: FTFA: She's a strong, stubborn woman

No, it's a female orangutan and they're referred to as Gingrapes.

As a apposed to a philandering old ape known as Gingrich.

I hate all apes. From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.

Know who else hates apes?

thursdaypostal

2012-02-06 07:21:38 AM

Orangutans are probably my favorite great apes.

/i guess that's all i had to say

topcon

2012-02-06 07:23:49 AM

I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpam-Z.

fatimcgee

2012-02-06 07:26:57 AM

Bathia_Mapes: [theforbidden-zone.com image 320x240]

Done in two...

dittybopper

2012-02-06 07:31:17 AM

Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

Loud_Mouth_Soup

2012-02-06 07:48:05 AM

dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

So he wasn't a Doctor of Love?

dr.zaeus

2012-02-06 08:08:36 AM

Great, now everyone knows that I can't spell.

DarthBrooks

2012-02-06 08:10:43 AM

Right turn, Clyde.

Clash City Farker

2012-02-06 08:12:27 AM

Loud_Mouth_Soup: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

So he wasn't a Doctor of Love?

Why, yes he was!

Link (new window)

Great_Milenko

2012-02-06 08:13:40 AM

Clash City Farker

2012-02-06 08:15:36 AM

Clash City Farker: Loud_Mouth_Soup: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

So he wasn't a Doctor of Love?

Why, yes he was!

Link (new window)

For some reason the link won't post on Fark. Just google 'Love advice dr zaius'.

Chinchillazilla

2012-02-06 08:18:40 AM

Ook!

/that means "thanks for helping the orangutan... and not using the m-word"

puckrock2000

2012-02-06 08:24:50 AM

dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

Right - who they really needed was Dr. Zira.
images.wikia.com

LoneWolf343

2012-02-06 08:33:40 AM

TFA:

Dr. Monique Spillman, gynecologic oncologist

Dr. Kian Behbakht, gynecologic oncologist

Dr. Henry Galan, maternal and fetal specialist

Dr. Ruben Alvero, reproductive endocrinology and infertility specialist

Dr. Julia Embry, gynecologic oncology fellow

Dr. Geoffrey Lane, anesthesiologist

Dr. Mark Thompson, anesthesiologist

I'm going to assume that it was a stroke.

Oldiron_79

2012-02-06 08:36:29 AM

dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

That's scientific heresy,

Warthog

2012-02-06 08:49:07 AM

Cyno01: Cool story, but i get the feeling this thread will devolve into a healthcare flamewar...

Remember, humans outnumber orangutans 700000:1.

Came to say this. There are plenty of orange-haired women living in trailer parks and preening behind their registers at Walmart who have giant infected fibroids and who will never get this level of comprehensive surgical care.

Then again, I'd say we as a culture derive more positive utility from Sally the ape than we do from a Walmart cashier. Walmart cashiers are fungible. Orangutans are endangered. And have better hygeine.

BronyMedic

2012-02-06 08:57:18 AM

Warthog: Then again, I'd say we as a culture derive more positive utility from Sally the ape than we do from a Walmart cashier. Walmart cashiers are fungible. Orangutans are endangered. And have better hygeine.

imokwiththis.jpg.

This is awesome. No, really, it is. It's farking awesome.

dittybopper

2012-02-06 09:08:33 AM

Oldiron_79: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

That's scientific heresy,

There's your Minister of Science; honor-bound to expand the frontiers of knowledge, except that he's also chief Defender of the Faith!

Magorn

2012-02-06 09:08:59 AM

Anybody else annoyed to the point of nearly being enraged that you had to scroll through half the article just to find out WTF was wrong with her in the first place? I HATE "story-telling" journalism. You are a reporter, not farking Herman Mellville. Get to the point and do it quickly.

dittybopper

2012-02-06 09:10:13 AM

puckrock2000: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

Right - who they really needed was Dr. Zira.
[images.wikia.com image 246x300]

I'd hit it.

LadyMech

2012-02-06 09:25:57 AM

I thought Dr. zoidberg actually had a doctorate in art?

\Dr. Zaius Dr. Zauis!

puckrock2000

2012-02-06 09:30:14 AM

dittybopper: puckrock2000: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

Right - who they really needed was Dr. Zira.
[images.wikia.com image 246x300]

I'd hit it.

She thinks you're so damned ugly.

Aidan

2012-02-06 09:41:19 AM

That was awesome. It's stories like these that make me wanna become a doctor or lawyer or something useful. Then I realize that stories like these are about 0.001% of all cases, and I get depressed and stick with moving 1s and 0s around.

Sir Terry Pratchett said something akin to the following: When you see what's being done to orangutans, you want to slit your throat... Or some other peoples'.

the.squid

2012-02-06 09:57:08 AM

topcon: I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpam-Z.

Oh my god! I was wrong.
It was Earth all along.
You finally made a monkey
Yes we finally made a monkey
You finally made a monkey out of meeeeeeeeeee.

I love you Dr Zaius!

dittybopper

2012-02-06 10:00:43 AM

puckrock2000: dittybopper: puckrock2000: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

Right - who they really needed was Dr. Zira.
[images.wikia.com image 246x300]

I'd hit it.

She thinks you're so damned ugly.

Ah, but to my credit, I've got bright eyes.

Zulthar

2012-02-06 10:33:41 AM

Came for all the above references and leaving satisfied.

\Dr Zaius Dr Zaius

Tyrone Slothrop

2012-02-06 10:43:47 AM

thursdaypostal: Orangutans are probably my favorite great apes.

/i guess that's all i had to say

I've heard they make great librarians.

/Or was it librarians make great orangutans?

Big_Fat_Liar

2012-02-06 10:44:24 AM

dittybopper

2012-02-06 10:52:11 AM

Big_Fat_Liar: Oldiron_79: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

That's scientific heresy,

Tell that to Cornelius.

You're a monster, Zorg.

Liese

2012-02-06 12:09:19 PM

What a cool story. ;)

Five Tails of Fury

2012-02-06 12:49:31 PM

A hearty 'ooooook' to the whole team that was involved. Great story.

WarszawaScream

2012-02-06 02:00:19 PM

My "warm and fuzzy feeling" quota for the day has been met.

Bith Set Me Up

2012-02-06 03:37:59 PM

Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right!

Oldiron_79

2012-02-06 07:01:47 PM

dittybopper: Oldiron_79: dittybopper: Wait a minute, subby. Dr. Zaius wasn't a medical doctor, he was more akin to a 'Doctor of Divinity', or perhaps along the lines of a PhD equivalent.

That's scientific heresy,

There's your Minister of Science; honor-bound to expand the frontiers of knowledge, except that he's also chief Defender of the Faith!

If you wasn't already on my favorites list I so would have added you. +1

Dr._Love

2012-02-07 03:33:36 AM