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(Mental Floss)   Six trees older than human civilization. You submitted this with a "your mom" joke   (mentalfloss.com) divider line 168
    More: Sappy, trees, Old Tjikko, long-living organisms, oldest tree, Seminoles, shade, Egyptian pyramids, Prometheus  
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33209 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2012 at 8:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-05 06:51:46 PM
Haha. Sappy.
 
2012-02-05 06:53:03 PM
Nice tag usage, Subs.
 
2012-02-05 07:49:11 PM
No Harold?

images.wikia.com
 
2012-02-05 08:31:26 PM
What about those ridiculous trees that walked in Lord of the Rings? The ones that got all pissed when they were called trees even though one of them was named "Treebeard"? They had to be pretty old.
 
2012-02-05 08:33:13 PM

unlikely: Haha. Sappy.


Agreed. Nice tag, subby.
 
2012-02-05 08:42:19 PM
[sappy] golf clap subby
 
2012-02-05 08:43:29 PM
they're missing pando. that said, pando is often mistaken for an entire forest, so make of that what you will.
 
2012-02-05 08:46:11 PM
I think this is funny because I'm smokin' trees right now.
 
2012-02-05 08:46:30 PM
"The Tree of One Hundred Horses" is the most awesome name anyone's given a tree ever.
 
2012-02-05 08:50:09 PM
Do I see an "AX Men" Special?
 
2012-02-05 08:50:37 PM
Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.
 
2012-02-05 08:52:22 PM

vodka: Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.


Seeing as the other one in America just died a burny death that may or may not have been from natural causes, I'm okay with this.

This is America. We can't have nice things here.
 
2012-02-05 08:54:08 PM
There's a tree at least 200 years old right in front of my condo.

I've seen some electric company employees doing some work putting new light posts around the hood.

I noticed they dug a hole right beside the tree.

They better not fark with my tree. I love it.

So if a FARK headline talks about a nutso who killed three electricians, well, you'll know it's me.
 
2012-02-05 08:54:28 PM

vodka: Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.


Except for the one in Chile.
 
2012-02-05 08:55:10 PM
I only see one tree that's older than any of the remaining ancient civilizations. The rest of them can't even say that they're older than, say, the ancient Chinese civilization, much less human civilization.
 
2012-02-05 08:55:35 PM
Hmm so trees can live for thousands of years? I thought they can only live up to a few hundred! Maybe if scientists are trying to find ways to prolong human life, they should check out how the trees do it.
 
2012-02-05 08:56:29 PM
Yay! I love old trees. Imagine all that they have endured.
 
2012-02-05 08:56:41 PM
[I_LIKE_10_YEAR_OLD_NEWS!.JPG]

This is the 3rd or 4th time I've seen a similar story.

OK, so it's not technically "news"
haters gotta hate
 
2012-02-05 08:57:36 PM

sprgrss: vodka: Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.

Except for the one in Chile.


Waiting for "Chile is in America" pedants.
 
2012-02-05 08:58:14 PM

vodka: Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.


Clearly it has to be protected from gay Muslim illegal Mexican immigrant terrorists.
 
2012-02-05 08:58:34 PM
Chile is in America
 
2012-02-05 08:58:54 PM
Nice to see a Mental Floss link. One of my guilty pleasures....
 
2012-02-05 09:00:09 PM
DNRTFA

But... does the list have that BS inclusion of a tree that reproduces by sending out runners and the original tree died but the runners were still alive and this somehow counts as one tree and scientists guessed its age??? That one in it?
 
2012-02-05 09:01:27 PM
I liked that. Thanks, subby. Make a point of seeing the big trees in California at least once before you die, US farkers. They are what the word "awesome" was invented for.
 
2012-02-05 09:01:52 PM
If you use widespread evidence of agriculture as point of origin for human civilization, around 12000 years ago, then none of these trees compare. Doesn't make it any less cool though.
 
2012-02-05 09:02:44 PM
The age of Ents is nearly over.
 
2012-02-05 09:04:43 PM
That was much more interesting than this football game on tv.
 
2012-02-05 09:05:04 PM
"Your mom" joke? You mean with the word "bush" - right?
 
2012-02-05 09:06:26 PM
This is great. Really makes one feel small and ultimately inconsequential. In a comforting way though.
 
2012-02-05 09:09:09 PM

freetomato: I liked that. Thanks, subby. Make a point of seeing the big trees in California at least once before you die, US farkers. They are what the word "awesome" was invented for.


Only the bristlecone pine in the article isn't one of the big trees. Doesn't make the sequoias any less awesome, though.
 
2012-02-05 09:10:20 PM

Leskay: DNRTFA...tree that reproduces by sending out runners?


Your easier option is to RTA. Anyway, along those lines:
Methuselah, a bristlecone pine tree from California's White Mountains, is thought to be almost 5,000 years old-and the oldest non-clonal tree in the world.
 
2012-02-05 09:12:02 PM

vodka: Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.


The other trees besides the American and Chilean trees are not in forests. They all look to be semi-protected in other ways, whether it be a wall or being in a churchyard. No one is going to accidentally fell those trees.
 
2012-02-05 09:12:41 PM

GilRuiz1: "The Tree of One Hundred Horses" is the most awesome name anyone's given a tree ever.


That's supposed to be "Tree of 100 HOUSES" with some lumber left over.
 
2012-02-05 09:13:44 PM

vodka: Notice that the tree in America is the only one protected by secrecy.


You can bet your bottom dollar that fanatics are out hunting for Methuselah. I remember a few decades ago when hunters were getting geared up to shoot the last bald eagles until the EPA started doing something about DDT and stopped them from becoming extinct.
 
2012-02-05 09:13:50 PM
Those trees didn't have sex with all the superhot fine females like I did in college. :)
 
2012-02-05 09:14:10 PM
What a really old woody looks like

www.backroadtravelers.com
 
2012-02-05 09:16:53 PM

Danger Avoid Death: freetomato: I liked that. Thanks, subby. Make a point of seeing the big trees in California at least once before you die, US farkers. They are what the word "awesome" was invented for.

Only the bristlecone pine in the article isn't one of the big trees. Doesn't make the sequoias any less awesome, though.


I realize that. The link made me pine (heh) for home. My folks have 6' thick, 8 story tall Ponderosa Pines in their yard and those seem small compared to some of the giants in CA. There is something so...awesome about an ancient tree, large or not so large.
 
2012-02-05 09:24:31 PM

RexTalionis: I only see one tree that's older than any of the remaining ancient civilizations. The rest of them can't even say that they're older than, say, the ancient Chinese civilization, much less human civilization.


Well, two of them are older than Noah's flood, so they got that going for them.
 
2012-02-05 09:25:12 PM

GreenSun: Hmm so trees can live for thousands of years? I thought they can only live up to a few hundred! Maybe if scientists are trying to find ways to prolong human life, they should check out how the trees do it.


It's easy. Just eat nothing but water and dirt, and never move from that spot on the couch.
 
2012-02-05 09:27:49 PM

Robot Eats Towson: Leskay: DNRTFA...tree that reproduces by sending out runners?

Your easier option is to RTA.

.
.
I've read variations of the same article many times before. Which you would know because I said so in my comment before that, and you read everything.

I'm over the whole OLD TREES! stories, so I thought I'd have a bit of fun with a guess. Preeeeetty sure that list ain't gonna change much in my lifetime.
 
2012-02-05 09:30:36 PM

freetomato: Danger Avoid Death: freetomato: I liked that. Thanks, subby. Make a point of seeing the big trees in California at least once before you die, US farkers. They are what the word "awesome" was invented for.

Only the bristlecone pine in the article isn't one of the big trees. Doesn't make the sequoias any less awesome, though.

I realize that. The link made me pine (heh) for home. My folks have 6' thick, 8 story tall Ponderosa Pines in their yard and those seem small compared to some of the giants in CA. There is something so...awesome about an ancient tree, large or not so large.

-
True. Standing under the sequoias in King's Canyon is an incredible, awe-inspiring experience. I've even stared at the bristlecones around Lake Tenaya in Yosemite and marveled at the great age of such humble-looking trees.
 
2012-02-05 09:32:30 PM
I would like to find a four thousand year old tree, and sit by it..trying to suck up some of the knowledge of the ages, what it's seen...all the things and people that have passed by it, made love under it, hid, slept, and all those things that would happen after 4 k years. Then, i would attach my c4, and blow it to hell.


/Just kidding, would be neat to see. I remember one tree in particular that was on a 5 mile nature hike i took every weekend. It must have been hundreds of years old, if not more, and was all white, except for the leaves of course, and it stood out, as it was the only type of this tree in the little glade where it lived. I would always stop and have lunch by it,, and after i was done, i would walk up and press my hands to it...thinking that maybe i could get some kinda message. Silly..i know...but out there in the forest after eating wild mushrooms..god knows what i would do.
 
2012-02-05 09:40:45 PM
In 1964, a slightly older tree by the name of Prometheus was ... felled by a scientist


Religion. Of. Peace.
 
2012-02-05 09:44:28 PM
 
2012-02-05 09:44:31 PM

BigNumber12: In 1964, a slightly older tree by the name of Prometheus was ... felled by a scientist


Religion. Of. Peace.


Oh. I thought it said felled by a scientologist ...
 
2012-02-05 09:50:47 PM
YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME, TREE?!!!

www.realitydefined.com
 
2012-02-05 09:51:18 PM
Headline fail. Only one of these is older than the Pyramids. (cool trees, though)
 
2012-02-05 09:56:24 PM
The old ones are nice but I still prefer a young knotty pine.
 
2012-02-05 09:57:40 PM
Yanda.
/obscure?
 
2012-02-05 10:00:23 PM

Robot Eats Towson: "Your mom" joke? You mean with the word "bush" - right?


You're forgetting your mother's extensive involvement with old wood.
 
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