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(Buzzfeed)   These 24 books have actually been published   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 95
    More: Amusing, off-color humor, Elizabeth Taylor, collectors, homages  
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12987 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Feb 2012 at 6:37 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-05 03:12:03 PM  
"The Manitou" was also made into a movie with the same title. The Manitou (movie) (new window)
 
2012-02-05 03:30:01 PM  
The Penetrator sounds a bit too high-brow for my tastes.
 
2012-02-05 03:49:39 PM  
Okay, The Madam as Entrepreneur is now on my wish list.
 
2012-02-05 04:03:24 PM  

Apos: The Penetrator sounds a bit too high-brow for my tastes.


I prefer the prequel: The Thruster.
 
2012-02-05 04:08:21 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Apos: The Penetrator sounds a bit too high-brow for my tastes.

I prefer the prequel: The Thruster.



The final book in the trilogy The Spouter is the best.
 
2012-02-05 04:10:20 PM  

Apos: PizzaJedi81: Apos: The Penetrator sounds a bit too high-brow for my tastes.

I prefer the prequel: The Thruster.


The final book in the trilogy The Spouter is the best.


Yeah, it does go out with a high note.

E above High C, I think it was.
 
2012-02-05 04:34:28 PM  
Three by the same author!
http://www.amazon.com/Lorraine-Peterson/e/B001K8DFXK
 
2012-02-05 04:58:57 PM  
If you like this, you will LOVE ALB:

Awful Library Books (pops)
 
2012-02-05 05:48:05 PM  
Some I have run across

i568.photobucket.com



i568.photobucket.com



i568.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-05 06:10:23 PM  
I used to sell The Manitou. It was a bestseller back in the day. The movie was horrible. There's also a sequel that was geared towards the Lovecraft crowd that must've been inspired by the X-Men comic books.

You can buy the Excrement in the Late Middle Ages book for almost $100 on Amazon or download it for free on MediaFire. If we go balls out libertarian in this country, this is the sewage system we're going to get.
 
2012-02-05 06:43:51 PM  

Coelacanth: You can buy the Excrement in the Late Middle Ages book for almost $100 on Amazon or download it for free on MediaFire. If we go balls out libertarian in this country, this is the sewage system we're going to get.


I hate to say it, but it sounds like an interesting read, anthropologically speaking.

Speaking of which, I worked at a bookstore in the late 80s and flipped through the copy of "How to Shiat in the Woods" for funsies. It's actually a pretty good resource on how to make sure you don't leave stinkbombs in the unsullied wilderness for other hikers to find. Or spread giardia. Or how to properly spread 'em so you don't wind up crapping all over yourself and your pants ten miles away from a laundromat.
 
2012-02-05 06:45:22 PM  
I'm not even gonna try and figure out how this makes any sense.

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-02-05 06:57:48 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: "The Manitou" was also made into a movie with the same title. The Manitou (movie) (new window)


i was going to bring that up

i thought i had forgotten that movie, but it decided to revive itself
 
2012-02-05 07:04:35 PM  
i452.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-05 07:07:57 PM  
images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-02-05 07:12:31 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: If you like this, you will LOVE ALB:

Awful Library Books (pops)


Good Show Sir (new window) specialized in bad sci-fi and fantasy covers.

Of all the covers posted there, The Wayfarer Bilbabalbabul (new window) is my favorite.

/Yes, Bilbabalbabul
//Say that five times fast
 
2012-02-05 07:17:45 PM  
This, inexplicably, has also been published.

upload.wikimedia.org

And anyone remember that one that promised improved health by flexing your sphincter? It had a long Engrish-y title, like "Happy Anus Funtime Improve Health".
 
2012-02-05 07:22:16 PM  
s3-ak.buzzfed.com

Are they taking advice from John Tesh?
 
2012-02-05 07:25:13 PM  

theorellior: Coelacanth: You can buy the Excrement in the Late Middle Ages book for almost $100 on Amazon or download it for free on MediaFire. If we go balls out libertarian in this country, this is the sewage system we're going to get.

I hate to say it, but it sounds like an interesting read, anthropologically speaking.

Speaking of which, I worked at a bookstore in the late 80s and flipped through the copy of "How to Shiat in the Woods" for funsies. It's actually a pretty good resource on how to make sure you don't leave stinkbombs in the unsullied wilderness for other hikers to find. Or spread giardia. Or how to properly spread 'em so you don't wind up crapping all over yourself and your pants ten miles away from a laundromat.


You can get that on MediaFire for free too.
 
2012-02-05 07:34:52 PM  
...I spent six years researching a book on one of the greatest historical mysteries of the Civil War, came up with a good solid answer, and and can't get the book sold to save my life.

On the other hand, I shall sleep better nights knowing that Down Home Gynecology has been published.

/slams head against the wall because it feels so GOOD when I farking stop
 
2012-02-05 07:35:42 PM  
"How to Avoid Huge Ships" - Second Edition.

What I want to know is what happened after the first edition was published that required an updated version. Did the author collide with a huge ship in a previously unanticipated manner?
 
2012-02-05 07:36:10 PM  

hbk72777: [s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 500x769]

Are they taking advice from John Tesh?


Notice the cool guy is the White guy. So I'm guessing the first piece of advice is "be White".
 
2012-02-05 07:38:23 PM  

Ivo Shandor: "How to Avoid Huge Ships" - Second Edition.

What I want to know is what happened after the first edition was published that required an updated version. Did the author collide with a huge ship in a previously unanticipated manner?


"Oops, I meant turn port."
 
2012-02-05 07:44:53 PM  
This is my favorite. It's just giant pictures of poop from different species with captions in German, English, and French.

i18.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-05 07:46:40 PM  
"Prince of Dogs" is actually a pretty good fantasy novel.
 
2012-02-05 07:47:03 PM  
in case you were wondering about the manuscript on the cover of Excrement in the Late Middle Ages it is about the Temple of Anus where they collect the turds. Just like the illustration. I have a book about profane pictures on manuscripts and wood cuts.
 
2012-02-05 07:49:56 PM  

platedlizard: "Prince of Dogs" is actually a pretty good fantasy novel.


i'll second that.
 
2012-02-05 07:52:57 PM  

howlinmadmurphy: platedlizard: "Prince of Dogs" is actually a pretty good fantasy novel.

i'll second that.


One of the sad things about being a paperback writer is that you never get to choose your cover.
 
2012-02-05 07:53:30 PM  

howlinmadmurphy: platedlizard: "Prince of Dogs" is actually a pretty good fantasy novel.

i'll second that.


I need to get around to finishing that series.
 
2012-02-05 07:56:15 PM  
What, exactly, is supposed to be the issue with "Bombproof Your Horse?"

A "bombproof" horse is a horse so desensitized and sensible that you can pretty much take him into the majority of situations that would freak out most other horses. A damned good thing if you're a member of a mounted posse, ride parades, or want a quiet, safe, horse for your child or if you're a new rider.
 
2012-02-05 07:58:09 PM  
If you can't open your locker, you're not cool or awesome, and god doesn't love you. Read the awesome book and learn to open your locker with a single bump of your fist. You'll be awesome, and god will love you.
 
2012-02-05 07:58:18 PM  

ZydrateZombie: What, exactly, is supposed to be the issue with "Bombproof Your Horse?"

A "bombproof" horse is a horse so desensitized and sensible that you can pretty much take him into the majority of situations that would freak out most other horses. A damned good thing if you're a member of a mounted posse, ride parades, or want a quiet, safe, horse for your child or if you're a new rider.


Probably because they're going for a more literal interpretation, i.e., a horse that won't explode.
 
2012-02-05 07:58:20 PM  

Coelacanth: howlinmadmurphy: platedlizard: "Prince of Dogs" is actually a pretty good fantasy novel.

i'll second that.

One of the sad things about being a paperback writer is that you never get to choose your cover.


I didn't even think the cover was that bad. It makes a lot of sense in context, anyway. I suppose if someone isn't familiar with the story it might seem silly, though.
 
2012-02-05 07:59:00 PM  

LeroyBourne: If you can't open your locker, you're not cool or awesome, and god doesn't love you. Read the awesome book and learn to open your locker with a single bump of your fist. You'll be awesome, and god will love you.


Aaaaayyyyyyyy!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-02-05 08:04:50 PM  
I saw a woman reading this book on the subway recently.
 
2012-02-05 08:25:14 PM  
I had the "Cooking with Pooh" book when I was little. I think it was my first cookbook. I was young, and never made the connection
 
2012-02-05 08:27:41 PM  

fusillade762: And anyone remember that one that promised improved health by flexing your sphincter? It had a long Engrish-y title, like "Happy Anus Funtime Improve Health".


Is this what you're looking for?
 
2012-02-05 08:29:34 PM  
Not a bad article, but I'm more interested in the nude picture of Elizabeth Taylor under related links. fark the Super Bowl, I'll be in my bunk.
 
2012-02-05 08:34:08 PM  
Then there was this book (new window).
 
2012-02-05 08:41:00 PM  
I was deeply religious in high school until the day I couldn't get my farking locker open - I figured God didn't love me. Wish I had that Lorraine Peterson book, then....
 
2012-02-05 08:53:53 PM  

hbk72777: [s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 500x769]

Are they taking advice from John Tesh?


Zack Morris
 
2012-02-05 08:57:25 PM  

AtlanticCoast63: ...I spent six years researching a book on one of the greatest historical mysteries of the Civil War, came up with a good solid answer, and and can't get the book sold to save my life.

On the other hand, I shall sleep better nights knowing that Down Home Gynecology has been published.

/slams head against the wall because it feels so GOOD when I farking stop


What mystery was that? Or can't you say until you get it published?
 
2012-02-05 09:02:47 PM  

Ishkur: fusillade762: And anyone remember that one that promised improved health by flexing your sphincter? It had a long Engrish-y title, like "Happy Anus Funtime Improve Health".

Is this what you're looking for?


That's it! Thanks, that would have kept me awake tonight trying to think of it.

www.blogadilla.com
 
2012-02-05 09:05:41 PM  
"How to Avoid Huge Ships" is available through Amazon, of course.

Read the reviews. (new window)
 
2012-02-05 09:09:34 PM  

Ishkur: fusillade762: And anyone remember that one that promised improved health by flexing your sphincter? It had a long Engrish-y title, like "Happy Anus Funtime Improve Health".

Is this what you're looking for?


Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Bought (at the bottom of the page)
cache0.bookdepository.co.uk
or
ecx.images-amazon.com

www.50sadchairs.com
 
2012-02-05 09:26:35 PM  

platedlizard: I didn't even think the cover was that bad. It makes a lot of sense in context, anyway. I suppose if someone isn't familiar with the story it might seem silly, though.


One of the reasons author Louis L'Amour was so successful was because his contract with his publisher guaranteed him having the final say on covers for his books.

/He and his wife also used to drive all over the United States in a motorhome visiting book distribution warehouses so they could bribe the workers with donuts and coffee to arrange his books prominently and neatly on paperback racks.
//He brought me a sack full cheeseburgers one time because I was displaying his books in my store's window.
 
2012-02-05 09:31:09 PM  
static.lulu.com
 
2012-02-05 09:37:03 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-02-05 10:00:35 PM  

cirby: "How to Avoid Huge Ships" is available through Amazon, of course.


Sadly, Amazon only has "sign up to be notified when this item becomes available". However my local library does have a copy, and I just placed a hold on it. In a few short days I will finally learn the secret to avoiding huge ships.

/the secrets of Down Home Gynecology continue to elude me
 
2012-02-05 10:03:35 PM  
Here is a good one for the hipster douche on your christmas list:

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
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