Puppy Bowl, Beyotches!

NowhereMon: My wife wants to go to a party, but I stopped paying attention to football after week 2 this year. I didn't even know who was in the Stupor Bowl until yesterday and I am not going to watch the game "for the commercials".

So your wife's the alpha in the relationship.....

Then you would have no need for the obvious option at all. I don't give a shiat about either team but I will watch because well, its football.

Lingerie Bowl?

I was expecting some creativity in that list, not just things you can do anytime.

Meh. I'll probably watch it for a little bit, but it's become so "star-studded" that I find myself less and less concerned about it each year...c'mon, a 31 minute half-time?

FTFA: The downside is you'll be all alone in the steam room, but, hey, that can be cool too.

You know how I know that you're gay?

The only suggestion here that has merit is the reservations to exclusive restaurants. I can buy that argument

AKTurkey: I know I should know this, but on fark is "the most obvious choice" 'masturbate' or 'play Skyrim'?

Wouldn't that be the most obvious choice for most Farkers every day & not just limited to Superbowl Sunday?

HaywoodJablonski: The only suggestion here that has merit is the reservations to exclusive restaurants. I can buy that argument

Yeah. To be honest I would be willing to skip a Super Bowl that doesn't interest me (like this years', although I have a nagging suspicion that it will be a pretty good game) for an easy reservation at an awesome restaurant.

NowhereMon: My wife wants to go to a party, but I stopped paying attention to football after week 2 this year. I didn't even know who was in the Stupor Bowl until yesterday and I am not going to watch the game "for the commercials".

Is your wife hot? She can come to our party. You can stay home and watch whatever's on Lifetime. Trust me... She'll have a fantastic time.

Is this the official haet thread for the super bowl where people can mention facts like how the amount of money spent on the super bowl is equal to slightly more than half of NASA's yearly budget?

/meandered into the sports tab to check

AKTurkey: I know I should know this, but on fark is "the most obvious choice" 'masturbate' or 'play Skyrim'?

done and.....and.....AND............. done

Things to do other than watch the Super Bowl. List fails without the most obvious choice

Most obvious choice, Subby's mom.

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Meh. I'll probably watch it for a little bit, but it's become so "star-studded" that I find myself less and less concerned about it each year...c'mon, a 31 minute half-time?

30+ minute halftime?

That is crazy.

Yukon Callmeal: Things to do other than watch the Super Bowl. List fails without the most obvious choice

Most obvious choice, Subby's mom.

No, no, no. That's the Super Hole.

Completely different sport.

AKTurkey: I know I should know this, but on fark is "the most obvious choice" 'masturbate' or 'play Skyrim'?

Puppy Bowl.

AKTurkey: I know I should know this, but on fark is "the most obvious choice" 'masturbate' or 'play Skyrim'?

Why not both?

I just came in here to say that I won't be watching the Superbowl because I don't own a television.

If you watch Puppy Bowl, you get a little pussy action at halftime. Just sayin'

Gonz: Also, I suspect that both you and the author are closeted homosexuals

If the article author is a closet homosexual, the out and proud ones must be marching the streets 24/7.

ftfa: List fails without the most obvious choice

As it's from Gawker I assume the most obvious choice is for you and your boyfriend to fellate each other while making snarky comments about whatever Real Housewives epi you are watching?

Gonz: NowhereMon: I didn't even know who was in the Stupor Bowl until yesterday

Between you and the author of TFA calling the game the "Stupid Bowl", let's just say you're like the guy who comes into a TV thread just to say he doesn't have a TV.

No one gives half a shiat.

Also, I suspect that both you and the author are closeted homosexuals, but that's another discussion. Wait, no, you're a TotalFarker with an account less than two weeks old. You're just a trolling alt. My bad.

Naw, the bestest name is the HyperBole.

VictoryCabal: Things to Do Other Than Watch the Super Bowl

If you're anything like me, you will do absolutely anything to avoid the Stupid Bowl ... Stupid Bowl Sunday ... Stupid Bowl Sunday ... Stupid Bowl Sunday ... Super Bowl [VC - oops, he missed one]

Oooooo, isn't the author of TFA clever? He made a completely original and hilarious joke showing his disdain for the superbowl, and didn't use constant repetition to strip the joke of all meaning and impact. Clearly that j-school degree from SE-Bumfark State or some creaky old private liberal-arts school which alumni describe as the Harvard-of-some-craphole-you've-never-heard-of really paid off for Brian Moylan. Keep reaching for the stars, Bri. Why don't you write an article telling us about all the other things you're too good for.

Personally, I would have called it the "Burly Dudes in Tight Pants Piling on Each Other Gay-Off Spectacular".

NowhereMon: My wife wants to go to a party, but I stopped paying attention to football after week 2 this year. I didn't even know who was in the Stupor Bowl until yesterday and I am not going to watch the game "for the commercials".

If you do go to this party, or wine tasting, or whatever, becdure to ask yoyr wife if you can take your balls with you, they're probably in her purse next to your manhood card that's apparently expired

32oz High Life: I just came in here to say that I won't be watching the Superbowl because I don't own a television.

I'm sorry, there isn't time.

CptnSpldng: Gonz: NowhereMon: I didn't even know who was in the Stupor Bowl until yesterday

Between you and the author of TFA calling the game the "Stupid Bowl", let's just say you're like the guy who comes into a TV thread just to say he doesn't have a TV.

No one gives half a shiat.

Also, I suspect that both you and the author are closeted homosexuals, but that's another discussion. Wait, no, you're a TotalFarker with an account less than two weeks old. You're just a trolling alt. My bad.

Naw, the bestest name is the HyperBole.

Wrong it's

Going skiing is usually a good choice - it's winter time, and the slopes are generally deserted.

How is it possible that Gawker gets both worse and gayer with each passing day? Who the hell still reads this crap?

A 30 minute half time is necessary! If you were the guy in charge, do you really think you could live with yourself if you only subjected half the country to Madonna for only 25 minutes? You monsters!

Going to Poundtown? Trying to "ride the unicycle" at least once per quarter?

Go to Go daddy .com to see what happens next??

NowhereMon: I stopped paying attention to football after week 2 this year.

Yeah, the Vikings really sucked this year.

While there are new episodes of Downton Abbey (the only person I'm rooting for on Sunday is Lady Edith) and HBO's Luck there is a Jersey Shore marathon on MTV, an America's Next Top Model marathon on Oxygen, an Ab Fab marathon on BBC America, a Sex and the City marathon on E!...

What's the name of the chick that wrote this article?

Brian Moylan? I hope this is another instance of females taking over historically male names...

Scruffinator: A 30 minute half time is necessary! If you were the guy in charge, do you really think you could live with yourself if you only subjected half the country to Madonna for only 25 minutes? You monsters!

Does anyone actually watch the halftime show? I hear about these mystical beings who seem to watch that and the commercials, but I never seem to find them in reality.

Throw on a scarf and ride your fixed gear bicycle to a bar so obscure even you've never heard of it.

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Scruffinator: A 30 minute half time is necessary! If you were the guy in charge, do you really think you could live with yourself if you only subjected half the country to Madonna for only 25 minutes? You monsters!

Does anyone actually watch the halftime show? I hear about these mystical beings who seem to watch that and the commercials, but I never seem to find them in reality.

I have no idea. I try to time it so the wings are done near the start of half time. Usually by the start of the 2nd half I'm drunk enough to where the commercials are entertaining. but I'll never remember them the next day.

I used to work in a call center for Ma Bell. Superbowl Sunday was always the best day of the year because women would call up and load up their phones with extras. You could tell each one was a line in the sand for the post-game fight. (well, how much did you spend on your farking football game?)

I have a dinner party later today. Yes it was organized by a woman. I can take or leave almost any sporting event that doesn't include a local team. But women need to realize that Superbowl Sunday is a man's holiday. We play along with Valentines Day, after all. No guy likes Valentines Day. At least as a woman, your presence is not required for the Superbowl.