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(Some Guy)   Woman receives Facebook friend request from the man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She gets the hero tag for how she handled it   (moxiebird.com) divider line 117
    More: Hero, rape victims, Facebook, electronic publishing, friend request  
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66117 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2012 at 10:49 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-02-05 08:56:22 AM
7 votes:
Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.
2012-02-05 11:32:55 AM
5 votes:
i43.tinypic.com
2012-02-05 09:01:22 AM
4 votes:

PizzaJedi81: AbbeySomeone: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

I'm glad she got closure.

Yeesh, but I couldn't make it through that. It's been harder for me to watch or read stuff like that since having two daughters.


Teach them to be aware and avoid situations that aren't safe.

shivashakti: Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.


You're a rapist?
2012-02-05 04:25:54 PM
3 votes:
I find myself wondering sometimes how many of the guys in these threads would spontaneously combust if every sex offender/abuser went up in flames at the same time.
2012-02-05 12:28:18 PM
3 votes:

shivashakti: Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.


I know you didn't mean to type this, and I saw your responses after, but this has to be the worst typo OF ALL TIME

www.4tnz.com
2012-02-05 12:04:59 PM
3 votes:
Reads headline:
i413.photobucket.com

Reads TFA:
Fast-forward to 2011, and Emily has struggled to make sense of what was a hazy memory of that day. Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled. Self-doubt complicated her healing process, but she was eventually able to refer to what happened as rape. Still, she had questions about what happened to her.

i413.photobucket.com
2012-02-05 12:01:01 PM
3 votes:
Dont hang out in warehouses.

0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
2012-02-05 11:55:15 AM
3 votes:

Oznog: Chinchillazilla: John Buck 41: WTH is 'penguin head'?

Yes, I also need to know this.

/too much beak?

I, too, was wondering this. Urban Dictionary says:

1. penguin head
The act of performing oral sex on a man with an ice cube in your mouth and a vibrator against your cheek to imitate the cold and pecking sensation of a penguin's beak.
"Bro, I got got some mad penguin head last night." -Man 1

"Dude, that's wicked chill!" -Man 2

I... don't see how that even applies. I mean, it's not a likely assumption that the 14-yr-old girl has a vibrator and is keeping an ice cube cold somewhere.


Only the first part of that sounds fun. I propose that, henceforth, this act will be known as the Chilly Willy.
2012-02-05 11:39:52 AM
3 votes:

John Buck 41: WTH is 'penguin head'?

Chinchillazilla: penguin head

guppyjones: penguin head




It's when your pants are around your ankles and your getting a bj. But before you finish, she gets up and walks away while you chase after her, pants still down, waddling like a penguin.
2012-02-05 11:39:52 AM
3 votes:

AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.


Maybe the whole idea of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl in some warehouse wasn't the best choice. Just throwing that out there.

/Also, a quick question to the general Fark community- is there an upper limit on the number of people you can put on your ignore list? I'd like to explore that limit.
2012-02-05 11:01:39 AM
3 votes:

ChimbleySweep: How do you figure?


I was taken aback by that statement myself. I think Mona Lisa Vito's statement about deer hunting could be altered to fit that kind of position.

Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM! A farkin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fark what kind of pants the son of a biatch who shot you was wearing?

As in, who gives a fark how old the guy was.
2012-02-05 10:20:25 AM
3 votes:
dtdstudios.com
2012-02-05 02:59:58 PM
2 votes:
This is why I always secretly videotape it anytime I have sex.
2012-02-05 02:58:38 PM
2 votes:
29.media.tumblr.com

This is why I watch My Little Pony.

The world is a horrible place. And waking up to a typical day only to see a story on Fark about tween gangrape and dog leashes and over 400 replies from boys arguing back and forth about wether she asked for it...

Yeah. I need the escape. Just for 20 minutes.
2012-02-05 02:43:54 PM
2 votes:

Troublesome Strumpet: Honestly, how can some of you defend rapists? When a victim is blamed, it's basically saying the perpetrator can't help themselves. They're base creatures who can't be trusted to function in society in that case, so why not treat known, proven rapists like animals and put them down for the benefit of society?

You come across someone raping someone else? Shoot them in the head right then and there, like a rabid animal mauling a victim.

I'm not joking, I'm not exaggerating. Put a rapist down where they stand. I intend to get a gun and learn to use it, and a CCL. If someone tries to rape me or my children, they're getting a few bullets in them until they stop moving.


you sound fat.
2012-02-05 01:48:45 PM
2 votes:

That... is not true. No has very fuzzy meanings defined in the circumstances it is uttered. To whit, "No" can mean "Do not farking stop hitting me" or "HARDER" or "Play with me" it can also be a negative response to an enquiry or signalling you do not wish to participate. It is the circumstances, intonation and possibly strength of non-verbal signals which give context to the word.

No doesn't simply mean No. Only someone with litte to no knowledge of how the world works would ever think that.


I'd pay serious money to watch you say that in court. It would be beyond hilarious.
2012-02-05 12:57:05 PM
2 votes:
2012-02-05 12:51:09 PM
2 votes:
Oh, Good! I was looking around Fark this morning and wondering if there was a thread I could go to where I could cluelessly make excuses and justifications for rapists and here it is!

I'd also like to take this opportunity to explain to women that their experiences with rape weren't 'real rape' because they were asking for it, or didn't say 'no' forcefully enough, or hey, the consent was 'implied' so being raped is your fault.

Finally, I'd like to relate to you a story of mine where I or a friend of mine was falsly accused of raping some chick (who, I might add, totally wanted it at the time but regretted it later) and so because of that situation, I've concluded that women are liars and rapes are rare.

Thanks Fark!
2012-02-05 11:57:55 AM
2 votes:
fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
2012-02-05 11:39:56 AM
2 votes:

kriegfusion:

She dealt with a guy having sex with her when she wasnt at least completely against the idea. She moved on, had sex other times. This guy probably has been tormented mentally for a long time. I would almost venture to say, it looks like it all evened out.


Won't anyone think of the poor rapist? He is the real victim here.
2012-02-05 11:24:26 AM
2 votes:
Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.
2012-02-05 11:21:48 AM
2 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: gulogulo: Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.

'No. Don't. Stop.'

'No, don't stop.'


Did she hit him upside the head? Did she scratch him? Did she try to get away?
How good was his legal representation, versus hers?


No she didn't scratch him or try to get away. She was restrained and in handcuffs.
And for all you morans who say she shouldn't have put herself in that situation: No matter where a woman (or guy) is at, they ALWAYS have the right to say "NO!" and stop. Once she said no, that should have been it. And she said no several times.
2012-02-05 11:19:22 AM
2 votes:

shivashakti: Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.


Uh, I think you're missing a word there. I hope.
2012-02-05 09:10:08 AM
2 votes:

shivashakti: As someone who has raped,


wtf am I reading?
2012-02-06 07:26:01 PM
1 votes:

thelordofcheese: KiplingKat872: [rant that relies on appeal to emotion rather than facts

She wasn't raped. She grew up and is now ashamed of her past. As a defense mechanism she has developed a delusion to cope with her emotions regarding not being the person she now hopes she could be. And she does it by slandering the people she willfully had sexual intercourse with while she was ingesting intoxicating substances. She knew what she was doing, and she knows what she's doing now, by repressing those thoughts and lying to everyone - including herself - is much easier than just admitting the truth and dealing with reality.


Has anyone told you are a waste of good carbon lately?
2012-02-06 08:04:48 AM
1 votes:

jshine: Cyrus


Wow, Troll. I'll just reply with an image instead of providing a thoughtful reply. Here it is:

images.cheezburger.com
2012-02-06 02:59:14 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: ChuDogg: Bathia_Mapes: No. Since most states have an age of consent of 16 or greater, she wasn't old enough to give legal consent.

Where are you finding out the ages of these boys? Everything in the article suggests they were peers.

Please advise.

I'm not referring to the ages of those who assaulted her, I'm talking about her age. She was legally below the age of consent. Is that so difficult to understand?


Not difficult at all. But perhaps you are having difficulty with the fact that many states also have laws that have a lower age of consent when the "partner" is also of a lower age? So that a 15 yr old and 14yr old could have consentual sex, where a 25yr old and 14yr old could not?
2012-02-05 09:27:40 PM
1 votes:

anotar: Holy Cow, 820 comments and it is still on topic- is that an internet record or something?


I'm a little shocked that in 847 comments, we've all managed to remain fairly civil. Not saying we haven't had a couple of heated debates, but for the most part this thread has been largely troll-free.

What's up, Fark? Are we all turning into mature adults all of a sudden?
2012-02-05 09:01:11 PM
1 votes:
Holy Cow, 820 comments and it is still on topic- is that an internet record or something?
2012-02-05 07:23:16 PM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: Guidette Frankentits: DreamSnipers: It seems like so many people are ignoring her age. She was 14! If she says "OMG yes, I want to do all of you!" It is rape. If she says 'No!" it is even worse. She said no.

Where are her 'attackers' ages in TFA?

Why is that relevant? She said NO.

Once more...NO MEANS NO!!!


In my experience, "no" usually means, "yes, just wait five minutes."
2012-02-05 07:08:48 PM
1 votes:

AndreMA: boobsrgood: Three guys handcuff, leash, and gang rape a 14 year-old girl

Nobody outside this thread, as far as I can see, is claiming that both handcuffs and leash


D: I don't remember handcuffs. I remember a collar and a leash.
Me: [crying] Oh my god.
D: For any part that I played in this, I am so farking sorry.
Me: I remember handcuffs.

My charity work helping douchebags learn to read is over for the day.
2012-02-05 06:27:22 PM
1 votes:

AndreMA: Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: I'm not giving an opinion on the story as it was told.
[...]

Rape apologist! Misogynist!

BURN HIM!


I'm convinced he has raped at least 50% of the women posting in this thread.
2012-02-05 06:25:17 PM
1 votes:

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: I'm not giving an opinion on the story as it was told.
[...]


Rape apologist! Misogynist!

BURN HIM!
2012-02-05 06:20:56 PM
1 votes:

Valarius: Ladies of Fark




I'm sorry for the trauma you've endured. On behalf of the men who don't suck, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.


You pussy.
2012-02-05 06:02:25 PM
1 votes:
Meh. This is farked up peoples problems.

I can't rape less than zero - end of story. And I don't need to be some super-anti-rapist, turning up to slutwalks and chanting "go girls" to show how progressive I am. I just don't rape, and that is all that is required.

It's not even hard either. It required no education, lecturing of convincing. It's normal to not want to rape.

F - "No means no!"
M - "Who cares, I'm not after sex. I am just drinking my coffee"
F - "That's not the approved party line, you must be some rape-apologists..."
M - *puts on headphones like a boss*
2012-02-05 05:56:29 PM
1 votes:

residentgeek: Just wanted to say thank you to the people sharing their stories in here.

I don't know if I'd have the courage.


Considering that mist of them are fabricated/embellished, I'd say yeah, you could muster the "courage."
2012-02-05 05:49:58 PM
1 votes:
So when you ask your wife if something is bothering her and she says "no", does it always mean "no"?
2012-02-05 05:24:36 PM
1 votes:
This one girl I used to date was a screamer, and she would sometimes shout out NO NO NO ! during sex. Scared the crap out of me the first time it happened and I stopped immediately. She looks back and yells, 'WHY DID YOU STOP?!!'

So confusing.

The neighbors downstairs said they sometimes thought we were performing exorcisms, and that their dogs would get scared.

/not complaining
2012-02-05 05:11:14 PM
1 votes:
Speaking as a guy who actually stopped when his date said "no," you'd be surprised how little a difference it makes in the stories she tells the next day.
2012-02-05 05:05:47 PM
1 votes:

huskerdu: retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.

HA HA you banged a fat chick.



HA HA, a fat chick made you bang her.
2012-02-05 04:53:23 PM
1 votes:
Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.
2012-02-05 04:32:03 PM
1 votes:

sheilanagig: I find myself wondering sometimes how many of the guys in these threads would spontaneously combust if every sex offender/abuser went up in flames at the same time.


We're all rapists. And not just us Fark members. All men. Your dad, brother, co-workers, signifcant other. Guy behind the counter at McDonald's? Rapist. Cute guy in accounting? Yep. Guy walking out of the gym? He just raped someone in the stretching area. So watch your back ladies.
2012-02-05 04:21:53 PM
1 votes:

tblax: MoronLessOff: tblax: bhcompy: Valarius: Ladies of Fark

[images.blogstream.com image 455x400]


I'm sorry for the trauma you've endured. On behalf of the men who don't suck, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.

Only girls can be raped? I'm a male. By the textbook definition, I was raped by a female(and she stole my virginity). I said no, she said yes, then she sat on it. I told her to stop and she didn't.

Clearly something about that aroused you or it wouldn't have been possible.
Not rape
Troll or fool, cannot tell

I've been aroused with out wanting to go all the way. I don't see your point.

[img.photobucket.com image 400x300]


The reason this is a troll image is because that doesn't make any sense.
Boner= you're into it


Obviously your wife/girlfriend never used sex to end an argument.
2012-02-05 04:07:32 PM
1 votes:

Memnoch: Fact:

The only consent is enthusiastic consent.


I think that's the only safe path.
2012-02-05 04:07:03 PM
1 votes:
I have to add, I'm actually REALLY impressed with Fark today.

Not everybody agrees that the situation in the original article was "rape rape", and not everybody agrees on the level of culpability that the guy from TFA actually has. But the attitudes I'm seeing - even from those accused of being "rape apologists" - are refreshing. So many of you guys are absolutely horrified at the idea of rape, and many of you have expressed that you will NOT go along with a woman "playing hard to get" because you don't enjoy non-consensual sex.

It's not often that I feel inspired and impressed with Farkers. Don't know what you guys have been drinking today, but thank you!
2012-02-05 03:57:01 PM
1 votes:

gulogulo: it's womyn.


It's a bullshiat word, I give it no countenance and spell it however I wish.

That this offends you pleases me greatly.
2012-02-05 03:40:39 PM
1 votes:

ChuDogg: No, it's not normal. Get out of Texas.


Oh, and I read this comment before looking at your handle and or profile, and my first thought was "She has to be from Texas... "
2012-02-05 03:39:35 PM
1 votes:

morgantx: blondski: All of these comments from women make me wonder if any woman makes it through life with out some sort of creepy ass touching them with out consent.

Honestly, many of us just get to the point where we barely even notice that sort of thing anymore.

I remember being out with my husband one day at a family buffet restaurant with our three kids. Some 40-something-year-old Mexican dude came up behind me on the line, put both of his hands on my hips, and thrust his groin into my butt. I just brushed his hands away and went on about my business, and my husband happened to look up to see me walking away from the guy with an angry look on my face while the guy was chuckling. So when I sat back down he asked me what happened, and I told him. And I was SHOCKED to see the look of rage in his face. I think he would've killed the guy if I hadn't stopped him.

Didn't make it much better when I told him that sort of thing happens a lot, but it does. I've had my breasts, butt, and even crotch grabbed while filling up the car with gas, shopping for groceries, or standing in line at a fast food place. I never really thought much of it until I saw my husband's reaction to it; I always just kind of thought that was normal male behavior.


No, it's not normal. Get out of Texas.
2012-02-05 03:01:25 PM
1 votes:

mgshamster: No means no. I've always lived by that. Here's a situation where she apparently didn't:

She comes over for a dinner date (this is our 5th or 6th date). After dinner, we move to the hot tub, and things start to get a little hot and heavy. As the situation progresses, she says that she's not comfortable going any further. I stop immediately, and back off. After another hour of just talking, she says she wants to leave. I grab her a towel, and she gets dressed and leaves.

A week later, I was at a friend's house just hanging out, drinking a beer, watching a movie. About half way through the movie, she walks out of his bedroom. She looks at me, looks at my friend, and that dawning realization of, "oh shiat, they know each other" appears in her eyes, and she quickly packs up and leaves without saying a word. Neither of us hear from her again. So I told him my story, and asked him his.

Here's what he told me (paraphrased): "She came over for lunch, and then we started getting a little hot and heavy. We make it back into the bedroom, and then as we're about to take it to the next level, she tells me she's not comfortable and she wants to stop. So I stop, and start to get out of bed. Then she asks out of frustration, 'What is wrong with people? Doesn't anyone want angry sex?' I realized that she wanted me to get mad at her for telling me no, and then have angry sex with her. I said fark it, I'm going to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, she was still there, asleep on my bed. A bit later, you came over."

Doesn't matter for me, doesn't matter for my friend. No still means no, and we're not falling for your tricks.


What you are describing is a "freeze out " among the pickup artists. Think about, guys that routinely debate the best was to casually score chicks with no romantic involvement: have a word for it.

It takes a comfortable and self assured man to resist the advances of a woman like that. Most guys are not that confident and self secure, if they have a cute girl in their bed sending mixed messages they naturally assume: "If I can turn her on, she'll change her mind". Plus, most guys only have a few experiences like that in their life, so they have a flood of expectations and emotions going through their head.

Yes, women are confusing. The book was just released:

i43.tinypic.com
2012-02-05 02:58:39 PM
1 votes:

Troublesome Strumpet: So people are either animals that can't control themselves (in which case, as I posted earlier, they should be put down as such), or they can't EVER be held responsible if they've taken a mind-altering substance of some kind (which I'd love to see you try in a court of law after being caught driving drunk).


When you capitalize a conjunction like that, you make it painfully obvious that you're engaging in black and white thinking.

Troublesome Strumpet: You're just unable to think outside of a binary mindset.


Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot.
2012-02-05 02:43:19 PM
1 votes:
I'm going to teach my daughters that "No" means "Maybe" and "Get the fark off off of me or I'll farking kill you!" means "No"
2012-02-05 02:38:09 PM
1 votes:

omgwtfetc: serial_crusher

/ Dammit, now I've got that Seinfeld bit stuck in my head. "When I was a kid, I thought Gun Point was an actual place in a bad neighborhood where crimes happened. I kept hearing on the news, 'woman raped at Gun Point', 'three people robbed at Gun Point', and I just kept asking myself, 'why do people even go there?'"

LOL, you just inadvertently outed yourself as someone who watched Friends.

/then again so did I. Dammit.


Could I have been any more wrong about which show that was from?
2012-02-05 02:29:56 PM
1 votes:

F42: Troublesome Strumpet: People: No means no.

I was kissing a girl, she says (feebly) "no, stop" and pushes me away; I stop; she goes (angrily) "why did you stop!?!?!!" and pulls me back.

So, no, "no" doesn't always mean no, and lying about that is preventing 0 rapes.


No. . . in that case, the girl was crazy and you should have farking run. The rest of that sentence. . . I can't even tell WTF you're trying to get at.
2012-02-05 02:28:10 PM
1 votes:
serial_crusher

/ Dammit, now I've got that Seinfeld bit stuck in my head. "When I was a kid, I thought Gun Point was an actual place in a bad neighborhood where crimes happened. I kept hearing on the news, 'woman raped at Gun Point', 'three people robbed at Gun Point', and I just kept asking myself, 'why do people even go there?'"

LOL, you just inadvertently outed yourself as someone who watched Friends.

/then again so did I. Dammit.
2012-02-05 02:23:51 PM
1 votes:
Fascinating this article is listed as 06.06.2011 but appears on Super Bowl Sunday morning.

I'm amazed there wasn't a link to a 5 year-old article about abuse of women increasing on Super Bowl Sunday.

Trolling means trolling, buster.
2012-02-05 02:16:26 PM
1 votes:

olddinosaur: Hmmm, let's see:

She showed up at a place where low-life guys hang out.;
She was blasted to the gills on dope of some kind;
She was so blasted she does not remember what happened, but she says it was rape;
There are no details as to what they were charged with, where the trial took place, or whether they were convicted;
She cannot recall simple details even to this day;
She doesn't do what any sensible person would do, which is hunt down the bastards and kill them.


The whole thing does not ring true to me. I think there was a party, everyone was stoned to the armpits, and the whole thing got totally out of hand.


-She did remember details, just not all of them. Trauma has a funny way of farking with someone's memory
-Not a lot of victims go to the police because they fear backlash and being blown off, by the cops and others, and because it's very, very painful to have to go over what details they have over and over again
-Your definition of "sensible" scares me. Also, some people might have something to lose by going to prison for murder, like me for example. If I went and offed the shiatsack who raped me, I'd get thrown in prison and not get to watch my kids grow up, and it won't allow me the chance to move on and get my life together

How about you shut the fark up and not pull bullshiat out of your ass? You obviously have NO IDEA what trauma can do to a person; they're not always going to act how you think they should, people being individuals and not having the same life experiences that you do and all that.
2012-02-05 02:07:31 PM
1 votes:

Pert: Troublesome Strumpet: When a victim is blamed, it's basically saying the perpetrator can't help themselves.

I agree with you entirely and it's the biggest issue for me in the whole "argument" (if you can call such utter nonsense an argument).

I don't give a flying fark if the woman walked naked through the park at midnight, the point is that each and every man who walks past her can either rape her or not.

As a man I am extremely indignant about the idea that only some of us can hold our rapey urges in check. Most men don't have rapey urges at all. We are NOT fighting a constant battle against raping the next girl who walks past in a miniskirt, it's just not something we want to do.

Those who commit rape do so because they want to and they will do it when they get the opportunity.

Of COURSE there is a good, practical argument for not walking through the park at night naked (you are putting yourself in a position where you are more likely to be attacked by a rapist) but being naked in a park at night does NOT CREATE A RAPIST.

"Oh man, I only went out to walk the dog but then this girl walked past naked and the next thing I knew I had attacked her........"

That's NOT HOW IT WORKS.


I realize that this is a RAPE RAPE thread and I am not supposed to laugh. but I did.

my first thought when I see a naked women walking the streets at midnight, is "ARE YOU OK, I AM CALLING 911 to get you HELP!"
"NO, I am not listening to you say that you dont need help"

she gets my jacket, I go with her to the hospital and answer what I can to the police ...

/then again, there are people who are CERTAIN that porn turns all men into rapists ... sigh
2012-02-05 02:05:32 PM
1 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: pgh9fan: ExperianScaresCthulhu: gulogulo: Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.

'No. Don't. Stop.'

'No, don't stop.'


Did she hit him upside the head? Did she scratch him? Did she try to get away?
How good was his legal representation, versus hers?

No she didn't scratch him or try to get away. She was restrained and in handcuffs. And for all you morans who say she shouldn't have put herself in that situation: No matter where a woman (or guy) is at, they ALWAYS have the right to say "NO!" and stop. Once she said no, that should have been it. And she said no several times.

Her transcription of the phone call:

Me: You know, I got sober a couple years back-

D: Congratulations.

Me: And I have these memories, but a lot of it is hazy and there are pieces that are missing and some new pieces have come back to me since I got sober. And about this incident in particular with you and M*** and C*** and a group of guys who forced me to do some things.

D: So what do you want from me?

Me: I just want to know if all this really happened. Cause sometime s it feels like I'm going crazy.

D: OK. I remember. You're not going insane. You're not delusional. It happened. I remember. I was there.

My interpretation of this part of the transcript is that the man remembers that something happened..... but where the chick puts the emphasis on 'force', the man doing the remember does not, as evidenced in the following part of her transcription:

D: I was in the far corner from the door. Somebody told me that you wanted to come over and hang out. It was me and you and M*** and C***, J***. and S***. I was in the far corner from the door. I associate the song "Stupid Girl" by Garbage with the scene, so maybe it was playing. Somebody brought you over and told me you were going to give me head. I thought you were hitting on me. I had no idea there was anything non-consensual going on. After you left, they all gave me shiat about it. Said I was hogging all the head.

Me: I remember handcuffs, do you remember that?

D: I don't remember handcuffs. I remember a collar and a leash.

But that's all moot, because this woman -- and subby's title, as Chudogg as unsuccessfully tried to point out multiple times in this thread -- is an unreliable narrator. There is an awful lot missing. We don't know how much of the call was relayed, and how much was cut out. We don't know if she got his permission to tape record him (because if she got that permission, she would have included it in her transcript, yes? and if he gave that permission, I wonder if he would have been a lot more careful in his answers. As it stands, he sounds like someone who still thinks he's talking to a friend, not an accuser who's still angry at him and has an axe to grind with him).


She's unreliable, to me, because of this graphic:



It makes it look like she contacted him first. Why would she contact him first? Were there other contacts between them that didn't make this article? And regardless of who contacted who first........................ there's a lag of at least 3 and a half months between her saying she wanted to ask him something privately via google on September 20, 2010........ and what the article describes as a 'fast forward to 2011'.

There was no fast forward to 2011. The picture shows a date of 2010. When was the transcript of the recorded phone call made? If the phone call was made in 2011, exactly what types of conversations were going on between the September 20, 2010 conversation.............................. and when this article breathlessly proclaims that her rapist dared to send her a friend request in 2010?


I don't buy this biatch's story, and I sure as hell don't buy her presentation. If anything, the way this story is presented in the article, I believe that 'people don't change' comes into play, here. If she is pulling this crap, with the help of some baby feminists, on a blog site, why are we to believe that she was on the up and up as a 14 year old?

She gets to claim statutory rape. But lurid shiat trying to turn herself into some brave hero for confronting her rapist? I don't think so.

There's a motive here, and it has to do with the caption to this photo:


Emily McCombs, left, is now managing editor at xoJane.com. She also created the web series, "A Woman's Perspective" and has previously worked at LemonDrop.com and Asylum.com


Eww, that's her on the left? Gross. Who would rape that?
2012-02-05 01:51:17 PM
1 votes:
If a man can't keep his dick in his pants, why shouldn't we keep him in a cage?

Emotional rollercoaster of female hormones != horny guy raping because he's horny.

There are so many rationalizing somersaults in this thread. I love how a lot of men think that they have no mental issues or flaws. Clearly there are mental triggers that can cause illogical thoughts and send their minds to go careening down the wrong track.

Example: a woman not wanting you to open the door for her in an obnoxiously chivalric way (running in front of her and making a show out of it) means that woman is a total biatch and you are justified to treat her horribly from now on.

Example: a woman wearing a skirt and high heels deserves to get raped because clearly she's asking for non-consensual sex when she dresses up for a date.

But in some men's minds, only women have illogical thought processes. Or really pressed on this, they'll say women cause the thoughts. In either case, it's women's fault.

Our fault for being labeled with the wacko combination of dumb, cunning, subhuman, oppressive, prudish, slutty, overemotional, hard-hearted, lazy,gold-digging, over ambitious, job-stealing Others.
2012-02-05 01:38:14 PM
1 votes:
I have to say that these threads have been VERY USEFUL for me.
I have been off the dating scene a few years for medical reasons.
Looking at going back and given everything which I have learned ....

Hard to get = run the fark away
cries during sex = run the fark away
sex the first 10 times, no alcohol, no pot. sure it is a great social lubricant, but if we cant fark without it, we are not going to fark with it.

was thinking that I would need to get her to sign a consent agreement before sex, but if I follow the first 3 rules, I shouldnt have any problem ...
shouldnt ....

sigh
2012-02-05 01:30:15 PM
1 votes:

namatad: AndreMA: namatad: good friend was raped by 3 different boyfriends over the last 5 years. she did not report any of them. she isnt even close to getting better and suffers from massive PTSD.

It sounds like your friend is either the unluckiest person on earth, has a new relationship every month, is a very poor judge of character in her potential boyfriends, or is inappropriately labeling "sex i regret later" as "rape"

Perhaps there's a fifth alternative, but I don't see it.

she has been abused since she was about 5. by her parents, brother, therapists, pretty much ever single person in her life. welcome to PTSD and abuse victims.

she told me the greatest, saddest, most horrific story while she was staying at my house for a few months, in hiding.

I told her that I would never, ever hit her. ever. (I have never hit a woman, and never will. the door is always open. I will always walk away. no matter what. before hitting anyone.)

she told me the most insane story about her last BF(?) of 3 years.
she moved in.
he promised that he would never hit her.
over and over
he promised that he would never hit her.

then he hit her.
and he promised that he would never hit her again.
time would pass and it would repeat.

in the end, he would promise that he would never hit her, while punching her


do I believe this? yes. truth is infinitely stranger than fiction. there are things which you can not fake. you can fake SWEATING >... run in place, work up a sweat
but the sweat of fear? of terror ??? that you can not fake.

so yes, she ONLY dated abusers. abusers have GREAT skills at picking out victims.
they are so nice and helpful and then BOOM ... back to the same old story ..

thank god I found the best shrink ever who taught me all I need to know
"it is not my problem"
you can help
you can be supportive
but in the end, it is her problem
and she will or will not fix it

/alas and thank god - she moved on so she really isnt my problem.


This, so much this.

I grew up in an abusive family myself, so being targeted by other abusers and rapists wasn't real difficult. A lot of people don't think about that. That's often WHY abusers pick the people they do: their self-esteem is already in the dirt so manipulating them is easier, less time spent wearing them down.

If being treated like shiat is all you've known from childhood, it's going to seem normal on some level when it happens to you. When you're treated as a nonentity by your own family, it's not that hard to blame yourself when you're assaulted in some way by others.

I'm still trying to crawl out of that hole myself. It's damn near cost me my husband and daughter, and I'll be damned if I end up doing to her and her sister (on the way) what my parents did to me.
2012-02-05 01:20:42 PM
1 votes:

Akbar the Trappiste Monk: MoronLessOff: John Buck 41: WTH is 'penguin head'?

Chinchillazilla: penguin head

guppyjones: penguin head

It's when your pants are around your ankles and your getting a bj. But before you finish, she gets up and walks away while you chase after her, pants still down, waddling like a penguin.

I am actually crying from laughing so hard.


I'm glad I could bring some joy to such a tragic thread.
2012-02-05 01:13:35 PM
1 votes:

ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.


May I make a suggestion?

Show this post to the woman you're dating or married to, or the next woman you intend to date. Tell us how they react.
2012-02-05 01:01:44 PM
1 votes:
I was only sixteen when I "lost" my virginity and yes, some pot use was involved and maybe I shouldn't have been up in that treehouse on that warm summer night and, yeah, I know I'm a dude and she was only fourteen but she was a very aggressive fourteen, *SOB*
2012-02-05 12:49:50 PM
1 votes:
Honestly, how can some of you defend rapists? When a victim is blamed, it's basically saying the perpetrator can't help themselves. They're base creatures who can't be trusted to function in society in that case, so why not treat known, proven rapists like animals and put them down for the benefit of society?

You come across someone raping someone else? Shoot them in the head right then and there, like a rabid animal mauling a victim.

I'm not joking, I'm not exaggerating. Put a rapist down where they stand. I intend to get a gun and learn to use it, and a CCL. If someone tries to rape me or my children, they're getting a few bullets in them until they stop moving.
2012-02-05 12:49:35 PM
1 votes:
img.photobucket.com

In all seriousness, I dont think this was a good approach.
Confronting the guy only makes him feel better... like, "we talked it out, it's cool"... and from the conversation, she is very wishy-washy about it, like "did that really happen? was I raped? I don't even know?" well if you don't know, then WTF. In the end of the conversation, it sounds like neither of them could decide if she was raped or not.
2012-02-05 12:44:10 PM
1 votes:
mongbiohazard:
Reads headline:
i413.photobucket.com

Reads TFA:
Fast-forward to 2011, and Emily has struggled to make sense of what was a hazy memory of that day. Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled. Self-doubt complicated her healing process, but she was eventually able to refer to what happened as rape. Still, she had questions about what happened to her.

i413.photobucket.com


 

i5.photobucket.com
Bears Repeating
2012-02-05 12:42:27 PM
1 votes:

Troublesome Strumpet: Honest Bender: serial_crusher: I've been trying to figure out what he meant when he said "At least at one point, you said, 'No, let's stop.' Maybe a couple of times. But then everything would be OK". Like maybe she would tell him to stop and then change her mind and want to keep going?

This is kind of the point I've been trying to make. But every time I suggest that maybe they BOTH decided to keep going and she merely regretted it after, I get bombarded with comments about how I'm an asshole and NO MEANS NO!

Well, does no still mean no if she then says yes? And, again, I feel like I need to point out that I'm also against rape. I just have separate categories for the rapist that violently forces himself on a woman and the "rapist" who has sex with a woman who isn't sure she actually wants to have sex. It's kind of like the difference between murder and manslaughter.

READ. THE. farkING. ARTICLE.

He ADMITTED she said no, but kept going anyway. And she was BOUND and couldn't easily fight and get away.

Look, even as a rape victim, I know the difference between making a drunk mistake and being taken advantage of while intoxicated. But you're still trying to stand up for the rapist WHO ADMITTED HE HEARD HER SAY NO AND KEPT GOING ANYWAY.

You're looking like the biggest asshole in the world right now.


It's cool, he pointed out that he's anti-rape. And has a black friend, so he's not racist either.

images.wikia.com
2012-02-05 12:36:27 PM
1 votes:
Note to those that have brought up male rape / sexual assualt victims. I have seen no one on this thread denying they exist. They certainly do and we are just starting to get a look at the real numbers because of the social pressures that make it difficult for them to admit what happened, come forward, and process it. It is the same violation, but the cultural ideas that, "real men are not victimized that way" and "if you are gay, you must have been asking for it" make it more difficult for men to come to grips with it.

For more info, I suggest googling, "1 in 6 org" (on mobile, can't link).

However that reality does negate the reality of this article. This woman was chemically and physically restrained, out numbered at the hands of a controlling bastard, and she still said "no." A number of times.

She was raped.
2012-02-05 12:13:19 PM
1 votes:

JesusJuice: Dafatone: Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.

Unless it means "convince me".


This sounds more like the "Sure, I'll suck all of your dicks and fark you, too. Of course I'm eighteen, let me snort some more coke and drink another beer first." definition of no.
2012-02-05 12:11:50 PM
1 votes:
Wow, more than the usual number of jerkwad rape apologists out here than usual.

No means no. And she said no. Several times. Stop victim-blaming.
2012-02-05 12:10:59 PM
1 votes:
...and why is she recording this phone call with the guy? Is it to inspire and empower women to face their attackers? Or an utterly captivating grandstanding story of good vs. evil to generate blog hits?
2012-02-05 12:05:10 PM
1 votes:

Dafatone: Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.


Unless it means "convince me".
2012-02-05 11:59:25 AM
1 votes:

morgantx: Troublesome Strumpet: morgantx: But just because he committed the rape doesn't make him a "rapist".

So just because someone broke into your house and stole your TV, doesn't make them a burglar, right?

/WTF?



No. But if your friend says, "Hey, give me a ride to my ex's place. I need to pick my TV up from her apartment," and you're driving and helping him carry the TV out and you THINK (honestly believe) that the TV is his and that he's totally telling you the truth, then you're not a burglar. You could still be convicted of burglary (depending on the jury), but that doesn't make you a "burglar".


Except HE HEARD HER SAY NO. There was no "honestly believing it was consensual" about it. He's lying to himself.
2012-02-05 11:58:24 AM
1 votes:

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Anyone have a TL;DR of that article? I think the writer had an epileptic seizure while typing it.



Promiscuous girl raped at 14 by a 15 year old. Then she goes out with 15 year old again to abandoned warehouse with 2 other scummy guys. Apparently she wasn't farked up in the head before all this, but that's what did it. Years later culprit friend requests on Facebook.

Victim: Oh hai, did you rape me?

Rapist: Not really, maybe, yeah. Sorry.

Victim: No problem! Just don't rape again plz lol.

Quote of the article: "I craved that sexual attention and put myself in bad situations"

- - -
Sorry, 14 year olds aren't stupid nowadays, this isn't Mayberry. If you act and dress like a slut to gain men's attention, drink/drug with just men to the point of being passed out an awfully lot, and hang out with the asshole boy who raped you... then go with him to an abandoned warehouses with two other guys, um.... honestly sounds like she found the encounter she was looking for at the time, doesn't it? Would she regret it later? No doubt. Is he the scummiest creep ever for friend requesting her? Yeah. I know the whole point of the article is her confronting it head on, which is heroic, for her. Good for you lady. We all have out poor life choices to confront. But these are just another 2 a-holes on the internet with a soapbox for their stupidness. Welcome to the twisted sick sad world of buck-passing scumbags. I feel like all they're missing is the Insane Clown Posse face paint. Granted most 14 year old girls recognize the slut road isn't a rewarding road to travel down for life. You raped me but I did everything in my power to make sure you wanted to rape me. Gee, think this girl may have been farked up for years BEFORE all this? I love how rape is always the catalyst: your life definitely would have been peaches and cream if not for it.

A teen girl is always 100% too immature to recognize her surroundings and situations to be held accountable, but the double standard states that it's 100% the responsibility of 15 year old boys to have the maturity of 45 year old adults and be held 100% accountable in their decisions regarding themselves and others. No wonder in other cultures they just cut off a guy's dick and bury the girl under a pile of rocks. Nobody wants to listen to this shiat.
2012-02-05 11:58:12 AM
1 votes:
Ah, a troll thread, and I'm going to bite. See when I gave up my V card, it was in all the right ways (to my boyfriend of 2 months who really loved me, while my parents were out of town shortly after I turned 18). And while many women these days are not putting their virginity up on a pedestal, they generally don't opt to lose it like that. A bound and intoxicated 14 year old girl was raped that night and that dude in the article did it.
2012-02-05 11:57:42 AM
1 votes:
Wow, remind me to never go to a Fark party. Just blocking the rape apologists in here knocks the thread back to barely over one page.

Hey apologists, way to defend the sexual assault of a teenager. You are the definitions of 'trash'.
2012-02-05 11:57:29 AM
1 votes:
I think it's interesting that the rape apologist here are glossing right over this:

And C*** tried to give me a drag of his cigarette and he was like, "Don't give her that. She doesn't deserve anything." He was really mean and threatening. Does that ring true to you?

D: I can totally 100% see M*** saying that and C*** going along with it. M*** had been in a similar situation ... some really shady shiat with one of our friend' sisters. He spent an amount of time in a boy's home. He would manipulate, lie, cheat, steal. And C*** was just a flunky who would go along with whatever he said.

Me: Wow. So that would have been in character for him?

D: Completely. If you told me that you were forced, coerced, used, abused, threatened, I would totally buy it.


But she totally asked for it by not standing up to the threatening psychopath who was leading the pack of
willing rapists. God, this thread makes me weep for your future daughters.
2012-02-05 11:54:14 AM
1 votes:

Honest Bender: serial_crusher: I've been trying to figure out what he meant when he said "At least at one point, you said, 'No, let's stop.' Maybe a couple of times. But then everything would be OK". Like maybe she would tell him to stop and then change her mind and want to keep going?

This is kind of the point I've been trying to make. But every time I suggest that maybe they BOTH decided to keep going and she merely regretted it after, I get bombarded with comments about how I'm an asshole and NO MEANS NO!

Well, does no still mean no if she then says yes? And, again, I feel like I need to point out that I'm also against rape. I just have separate categories for the rapist that violently forces himself on a woman and the "rapist" who has sex with a woman who isn't sure she actually wants to have sex. It's kind of like the difference between murder and manslaughter.


READ. THE. farkING. ARTICLE.

He ADMITTED she said no, but kept going anyway. And she was BOUND and couldn't easily fight and get away.

Look, even as a rape victim, I know the difference between making a drunk mistake and being taken advantage of while intoxicated. But you're still trying to stand up for the rapist WHO ADMITTED HE HEARD HER SAY NO AND KEPT GOING ANYWAY.

You're looking like the biggest asshole in the world right now.
2012-02-05 11:52:14 AM
1 votes:

Honest Bender: I feel like I need to point out that I'm also against rape


I love how feminists have made it so that men have to go on record as being "against rape", otherwise they'll be presume to be "for rape"
2012-02-05 11:51:28 AM
1 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: gulogulo: Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.

'No. Don't. Stop.'

'No, don't stop.'


Did she hit him upside the head? Did she scratch him? Did she try to get away?
How good was his legal representation, versus hers?


There is no retard button for me to click. She didn't say "don't", the guy admits she said "no, lets stop".

You sound like a rapist.
2012-02-05 11:44:06 AM
1 votes:
She said no. That's real rape.

Also, rape isn't about what the victim did or didn't do that was "unwise."

Making it about what the victim did or didn't do, among other things, really farks with the head of those of us who "did everything right" and were in a situation where we should have been completely safe and---weren't safe.

I've been raped twice.

Both in relationships.

The first time, it was in a really farked up abusive dating relationship in high school that both my own and the guy's undiagnosed or insufficiently diagnosed and insufficiently treated mental illnesses contributed to.

Psycho boyfriend and I were in a relationship where he usually had a yes. A fairly kinky relationship. He, unbeknownst to me, "wanted to know what it felt like to rape somebody." So he waited until we were at my house and my mom was due to drive up any minute and walk right in the door, when he knew I would tell him no and absolutely not want to have sex with him, and he raped me. For him, it was just one more sexual thrill to explore. It didn't even figure in his mental or emotional radar that his "thrill" would hurt me.

I "forgave" him afterwards---see above on "crazy and untreated"---and stayed in the relationship through high school, at the end primarily because I was afraid for my life if I left. Then went away to college out of state and broke it off a few months in when I felt safe. He stalked me for two years whenever I went home to visit my parents.

A few months ago, he did try to friend me on facebook. The only way I stopped him from stalking before (it was physical and phone) was to move and to give absolutely no contact--hang my parents' phone up without saying anything at all to him. No "reward" for the behavior. So I didn't respond to his friend request. Just denied it and blocked him. A couple of years before he tried to email me.

The hazard of being a public figure. It makes you findable.


The second time was the time I did everything right. I was in a place and situation that should have been completely safe with a partner who should have been completely safe and I had said in advance, "You absolutely cannot put that appendage in that orifice that way. (dry)" He did it anyway---penetrated. It hurt like bloody hell. He pulled out when I cried out to stop. But I had told him "no" in no uncertain terms and he did it anyway. He shouldn't have been there in the first place.

I "forgave"---you don't know until you're in a traumatic situation how you'll react to it. People react to trauma in all kinds of ways that don't make sense, and immediately going on as if it didn't happen (shock, denial) is one of the more common ones.

Sure, he was stronger than me and easily could have done worse stuff--like kept going instead of pulling out. That doesn't get him off the hook for hurting me when I'd specifically and clearly told him, "No. Absolutely do not do this to my body this way."

(And before you start making rationalizations if you're tempted, this was enough to give me PTSD, because I absolutely should have been safe--I did everything right and had every reason to believe I was absolutely safe---and it turned out I wasn't safe. So that one act did a huge amount of damage. And if you want to point to my pre-existing bipolar, the guy was aware of the pre-existing condition, too. So it's a little like if you know a guy has just one kidney and you kidney punch him in a fight, or you know he has a heart condition and you slug him hard right in the sternum. You can't say, "Oh, he was already sick, it's not my fault," if you knew that when you decided to hit him anyway.)


This 14 year old girl not screaming and crying and fighting, her being drunk and doped, does not get "D" off the hook for ignoring "No."

Choosing to ignore "No" is rape rape----as soon as you penetrate. Anything beyond that is further aggravating circumstances of the base deed.
2012-02-05 11:43:25 AM
1 votes:

MoronLessOff: John Buck 41: WTH is 'penguin head'?

Chinchillazilla: penguin head

guppyjones: penguin head

It's when your pants are around your ankles and your getting a bj. But before you finish, she gets up and walks away while you chase after her, pants still down, waddling like a penguin.


Your definition is definitely funnier than the one from Urban Dictionary.
2012-02-05 11:40:04 AM
1 votes:

JesusJuice: Peki: Good for her. I'm glad she got some closure. It can be important for things like this. I didn't react the same.

However, my situation was a little different. I can clearly remember everything, and it wasn't a one-off thing like hers was. He contacted me after I got back in town. I remember telling him I had forgiven him for everything he'd done (considering the last few years of my life, that's actually one of the easier things I've dealt with), but that I was simply too swamped with life to explore a friendship with him. I haven't heard from him since, and I hope I don't. I've made the decision to be welcoming and friendly to him, even if he steps foot in my church, though I may have a word with a few of the parents.

This is one of the stupider things I've ever read.


Hey, don't say that. Peki has the right to be friendly with him and you're not who to criticize her.

That said, Peki, dear, you're way too submissive with men. I've read other things by you during the years on Fark. Try to stand up to the guys that hurt you. They'd probably stop doing it if you do.
2012-02-05 11:39:10 AM
1 votes:

serial_crusher: gulogulo: Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.

I've been trying to figure out what he meant when he said "At least at one point, you said, 'No, let's stop.' Maybe a couple of times. But then everything would be OK". Like maybe she would tell him to stop and then change her mind and want to keep going? I had an experience like that once, but after the second or third "sorry, I'm just a little nervous", I told her to let me know when she wasn't nervous.

/ No means no, but "hold on a second, I need to stretch" means you're doing it right.


You were already dead meat the moment her mind decided 'i'm a little nervous'. Sorry, Charlie. You were really dead meat the moment she mouthed it. You were vaporized the moment it happened a second time. But at least you were lucky to get away without a charge after the fact, and hopefully the story hasn't changed in her head as the years pass into you taking advantage of her/outright forcing her in spite of her 'pleas'. Because she was afraid of you.
2012-02-05 11:38:45 AM
1 votes:
What is the statute of limitations of gang rape of a 14 year old girl? We have a confession of a crime. Can this go to court even if she does not cooperate with law enforcement?

Underage drinking, contributing to the delinquency
Carnal knowledge of a juvenile
Forceable Rape, multiple counts
Sodomy
Kidnapping (leash, chain and handcuffs)

Where are this girl's parents and why are these boys not castrated or buried in the desert?
2012-02-05 11:38:19 AM
1 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: If you want to stop, you need to show you want to stop. Not the passive aggressive mixed signals bullshiat. And definitely not the body language acting in a way counter to 'bare minimum'/legal minimum/plausible deniability mouthings.


Excuse me, but what in the fark? If someone says "no, stop" that's pretty clear.

If someone is sending you "passive aggressive mixed signals" how about getting the hint that they're just not that into you? I've gotten mixed signals before but never ones I'd describe as "passive aggressive". If they're sending "passive aggressive mixed signals" and you're in bed... why would you even want to be in that situation?

mikdeetx:
My gaydar went off when I looked at the author's photo. She's a lesbian now...and this also gave her closure for a bad hetero episode with multiple men.


My gaydar's really fine-tuned, because I'm actually queer, and you're an idiot. A farking idiot. She's straight. And you're a homophobe as well as a rape apologist.
2012-02-05 11:37:14 AM
1 votes:
"Me: Thank you. Just take care of your daughters. Just love them so they value themselves. And teach your son, too. That no means no.

D: I will. I will also try to have my daughter not be a drunk drugged out girl who hangs out at warehouses late at night with strange guys and also teach her if the guy is a douchebag like me, to not simply go all deer-in-headlights and softly say no, but to yell and kick that bastard in the twig and berries to make sure he gets the point, so that years later they BOTH aren't wondering in the back of their minds if that situation was truly rape or not."


I think she was raped, for what its worth. But I think there are different levels of rape. Hers was the lighter, still bad but im a dumb girl and just go with anything type. Reading Kristine's synopsis of the whole thing just screams to me '100% guy fault' and 0% hers. Also, that she has the mammaries to say at the end "D may have taken the time to talk to Emily, but we all know it was to clear his own conscious, and not to right any wrongs here." How the FARK does she know why he did it ? Does him talking to her about it and expressing bad feelings make it ok? No it doesn't. Does it count for something?Hell yes it does. Most victims don't ever hear from that person again (maybe a good thing). But this guy seemed incredibly polite and even searched her out to make some kind of reconciliation. Obviously it has possibly haunted him for years, maybe even more than her. So I guess now even a person trying to reconcile is useless, and we should just make them out as monsters forever. People dont get better? They don't improve? Life sentence or death, that's all we accept now as a society, is it?

She dealt with a guy having sex with her when she wasnt at least completely against the idea. She moved on, had sex other times. This guy probably has been tormented mentally for a long time. I would almost venture to say, it looks like it all evened out. Theres worse things in life than having sex with someone you dont want to. Like having a farked up head the rest of your life.

I think its a wash. He got what he deserved. Case closed.
2012-02-05 11:36:21 AM
1 votes:
If what the guy did in contacting her was so bad, should he just have chosen to never speak to her again? It is pretty horrific to have to live through that again, but she seemed to appreciate the closure it brought. Would it have been better if he never provided the opportunity?

I also wonder how old he was - I don't think the article makes this clear, the article just says three males (while the headline says man). Not that rape isn't rape when the offender is a juvenile, but the story changes a little depending on whether he was 13, 14, 18, or 20.

From the article it seems like she never reported the attack to the police. I'm not sure what the statute of limitation is for an offense like this in her state, but usually they run fairly long in 1st degree criminal sexual contact cases. It was stupid of him to contact and talk to her if he even thought that she might have thought he raped her (which he did). It also would explain why he gave nonadmissions and said her thought the sex was consensual.

If he was over 18 at the time, he could still be tried for statutory rape for just admitting the act took place. He is a very stupid stupid person (along with being generally horrible for committing the act).
2012-02-05 11:36:15 AM
1 votes:

Honest Bender: TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape.


I don't believe there is an onus on a victim to inform his or her attacker of the crimes he or she is perpetrating against the victim, nor any requirement for the attacker to be aware that he is committing a crime in order to be culpable.

Moreover, I would hazard a guess that a lot of rapists are fairly convinced that they're not doing anything wrong and/or that the victim is actually enjoying it.
2012-02-05 11:35:48 AM
1 votes:

shivashakti: Wow. As someone who has accidentally raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.


ftfy
2012-02-05 11:35:03 AM
1 votes:

dosboot: I'm glad she is living a sober life now. She gets the Chuck Norris Award for confronting this low-life. I have represented many alleged rapists. A common thread is they often claim that the girl wanted it. I had one case that I distinctly remember where the girl who "wanted it" was 6 years old. The perp insisted that he didn't have a prior criminal record. I literally stood on my chair and let the printout of his record unfurl-it hit the floor. Some of his prior convictions included animal cruelty. Upon further research I learned that he used to have relations with the family German shepherd. At one point he put the dog's head on a stake a la Vlad the Impaler.

There are some real nut jobs out there who don't belong in society and frankly don't deserve to live.


Like 23 years ago, my mom represented a guy who also said a 6-year-old "wanted" him to have sex with her. She got a letter from him the other day talking about how he needs the IRS to stop harassing him about paying his taxes, because he has renounced his citizenship and, in any case, he is "not of African blood." (Apparently only black people have to pay taxes?)

Anyway, yeah. Turns out that if you think a child "wanted it," you are likely to be SUPER CRAZY.
2012-02-05 11:32:31 AM
1 votes:

Dafatone: Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.


Thank you.

Also:
Alcohol doesn't "make you" do anything you didn't already have the capacity and at least a slight inclination to do. The "I was drunk" defense doesn't make you any less of an asshole rapist.

youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com
2012-02-05 11:32:15 AM
1 votes:
ArkAngel: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.


You sound like a rapist.
2012-02-05 11:29:33 AM
1 votes:

Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.


As a male, I'd just like to point out that you're an asshole. She said no. End of story. Anything that happened after was rape. Period. Quit making excuses for a rapist.
2012-02-05 11:29:26 AM
1 votes:

morgantx: just because he committed the rape doesn't make him a "rapist"


WORST....DEFENCE....CLOSING.............EVAR!

morgantx: He was probably under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time and not thinking clearly


Don't know about the US but in the UK that's no kind of defence.

Willingly intoxicate yourself and then commit a crime? Good luck using self-intoxication as a defence.

OK, in HIS mind he might not be as guilty as the other two guys (assuming that it went down in the way you are suggesting) but he is just as much of a rapist as them and just as guilty. The reduced level of awareness just might reduce his sentence compared with what his friends received.

In the UK there was the case of DPP v Morgan, where a senior RAF officer persuaded several junior officers that his wife was into "kinky sex" and that no matter how much she said "no" it was all part of a game. It wasn't a game and she wasn't consenting. Even though the junior officers (apparently) believed that she WAS consenting and just pretending that she wasn't, they were still liable for rape.

Bottom line - doesn't matter if you're drunk or tricked or whatever, if you don't have a reasonable and honest belief that the woman is consenting then you are raping her. If you believe she consents but your mind is muddled with drugs, the belief is not reasonable.
2012-02-05 11:28:14 AM
1 votes:
I just ignored my first Farker. Never thought it would happen. Way to go Jojo!
2012-02-05 11:27:52 AM
1 votes:
Welcome to my ignore list with the note "rape apologist, hope he's trolling", HonestBender. I don't know why you feel compelled to white knight for a rapist.

When someone is saying "No, stop", how can you not respect the fact that they're not consenting to whatever you're doing? No means no.

Additionally, when someone is intoxicated, it becomes even more important to establish consent. It doesn't lessen the responsibility of the other person. It increases it.

So yes, this was "real rape".
2012-02-05 11:26:53 AM
1 votes:

Animatronik: morgantx: My rapist tried to friend me on Facebook. I just ignored & blocked.

I ran into him about 3 years after the incident at a ballet class. I was TERRIFIED! He just said, "Are you still mad about what happened a few years ago? That wasn't any big thing." And that was it. That was the closest to an apology that I ever got.

Look, I'm not saying that what this guy did was right. It wasn't. But the fact is that he does actually seem remorseful about it, and he's apologizing about it, and that's more than most of us will ever get.

I think what both those guys need is three years in prison, especially the guy who said it was no big thing.

Hopefully there is less stigma so more girls and women will go to the police. Even if the rapist is not convicted, the more public accusations there are, the more would-be date rapists will think twice. Something to think about.


I have learned over the years to forgive. And in fairness, it's more about ME than it is about THEM. They don't deserve to be forgiven, but I deserve to have peace, and I'm not going to have that if I don't forgive.

So for me, part of that forgiveness has been a matter of acknowledging that there are some mitigating circumstances. Not everybody who raped me (and there were several) was truly a "rapist". Several of them were told by multiple friends, "She likes to play hard to get, but once you get going, she's all into it." And being stupid teenage boys, they believed it. There's a big difference between THAT and between the guy who held me down and raped me despite the fact that I was actively fighting back (THAT'S the guy I ran into in my ballet class).

Frankly, we need to educate men and boys that NO ALWAYS MEANS NO. But - and this is a note to the ladies - we ladies need to be absolutely consistent in enforcing that. And that means that we need to quit playing all these stupid little games. We need to quit "playing hard to get" and just be honest about what we want. And THAT means that we need to stop shaming sexually active women as "sluts" and "whores" just because they openly admit what they want instead of playing these stupid little games in order to get laid.

And once I realized that, I've always made it my policy to address my sexuality openly and encourage others to do the same. So if I see a guy in a bar that I want to fark, I have no qualms about approaching him and saying, "You want to go have a one-night stand?" (Most guys are THRILLED at the openness.) But likewise, when I tell a guy, "No, I'm not interested," I don't sit there are keep flirting with him and making him think he still has a chance. I'm nice. I'm polite. But I'm HONEST about what I want and what I don't want. And if every woman was as open and honest, then we could make it MUCH easier for men to tell the difference between a woman who's truly saying no and a woman who's "playing hard to get".

But men? Err on the side of caution. If you want women who will openly address their sexual desires with you, you have to stop rewarding women for playing these stupid little games. So if she says, "No," and you're 99% sure that she's just playing hard to get, walk away. Boycott manipulative women, and train women to be open about their sexual desires. Then maybe in our children's generation, we won't have this problem, because "no" will REALLY mean "no" 100% of the time, and there will be no confusion about what a woman wants, and then everybody can get laid happily, consensually, and frequently!
2012-02-05 11:25:01 AM
1 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: KiplingKat872: Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.

The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.


Exactly who's the victim, though?

Women are not always victim. It is not the default setting, just as it isn't the default setting for domestic violence cases, IN SPITE of how the law treats it.

Man is not always victimizer. Same deal.

/too many fake claims means i don't automatically buy the status quo


WTF does any of that have to do with this incident other than you grasping at straws to defend rapists?

RTFA.
2012-02-05 11:24:19 AM
1 votes:

morgantx: KiplingKat872: Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.

The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.

How was this incident not "real rape?" She said "No. Stop." A couple times.

Thanks a lot farkwit, welcome to my ignore list of rape-apologists.

I don't think they should blame the victim. And I do think this was "real rape". BUT... I also believe the guy when he says that he didn't know that at the time. He was probably under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time and not thinking clearly. She was obviously doing this with these other guys as well, and any resistance she provided wasn't very forceful, probably as a direct result of the drugs & alcohol she had. And frankly, when this guy says she was a "messed up kid", he's speaking the truth. A 14-year-old girl getting drunk & high with three guys is a "messed up kid".

He deserves to feel like shiat for what happened, and it WAS clearly a rape. But just because he committed the rape doesn't make him a "rapist". If he did this while not in his right mind (which is what this sounds like), that's an entirely different order of magnitude from what the other two guys were doing. It sounds like THEY were the ones filling her with drugs and dragging her around as a sex slave. He shouldn't have gone along with it. He should've stopped it, or at the very least walked out and refused to participate. But he doesn't bear the same level of guilt as the other guys who were engineering the entire situation.


As a guy, Ihave to disagree somewhat. A man who commits any rape is a rapist.

The only doubt comes in when the man may have thought it was consensual and the woman didnt say no. We all know drugs and alcohol can lead to these situations. Rhis sounds like a rape that the guy is trying to rationalize 'you didnt protest enough'
2012-02-05 11:15:25 AM
1 votes:

AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.


She was 14, maybe the older males made a bad choice in raping a child. Oh,and fark you.
2012-02-05 11:14:40 AM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: 06/06/2011


I know this article is older, but I first heard the story on a Pittsburgh public radio station yesterday. They interviewed her. It was absolutely riveting. i was stunned at the way she handled it. I talked about the story to my co-workers and their reaction was like mine. She is a better person than I am. I am male, so I can never completely understand, but I think I would have never been able to do what she did when responding to the friend request. She was definitely my person-of-the-day yesterday.

/Subby
2012-02-05 11:13:39 AM
1 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: /not reading the article


Yet, you feel comfortable saying it was just her getting drunk and regretting it later. The guy admits she said no. Several times.
2012-02-05 11:13:18 AM
1 votes:
commented on by one 'Bloughmee'

/all i got
2012-02-05 11:13:15 AM
1 votes:

PizzaJedi81: Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.


Either he's not being truthful- with himself, her, maybe both of them- or he's the stupidest person who ever lived. Leashed, collared, handcuffed little girl, who says "Stop" and becomes unresponsive in the wake of her attack. In what world does any of that suggest consent? No, he knows he participated in a rape.
2012-02-05 11:13:01 AM
1 votes:
I only have a couple problems with this article. The first is she should have outed the creep with his full name. Why protect his identity? And this is going to be a classic thread for trolls and trolling this is really the mark of a low life.
2012-02-05 11:12:09 AM
1 votes:

Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.


The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.

How was this incident not "real rape?" She said "No. Stop." A couple times.

Thanks a lot farkwit, welcome to my ignore list of rape-apologists.
2012-02-05 11:09:27 AM
1 votes:

medius: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Hey, dude. It's a Corvette.

Wait...what year?


Okay, I may be going to hell, but I laughed.
2012-02-05 11:08:51 AM
1 votes:

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.


Hey, dude. It's a Corvette.

Wait...what year?
2012-02-05 11:08:41 AM
1 votes:

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.


What if someone raped the car?
2012-02-05 11:08:09 AM
1 votes:
She's the one with bigger balls in that conversation. Hero tag is earned here.
2012-02-05 11:05:26 AM
1 votes:

Debeo Summa Credo: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.


Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.
2012-02-05 10:59:14 AM
1 votes:
FTA: "but we all know it was to clear his own conscious"

C'mon, really?

/I know this is a 'rape thread', but that caught my eye, and I don't feel like talking about rape.
2012-02-05 10:58:34 AM
1 votes:

AmorousRedDragon: Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.


Well, it certainly didn't take long for the Clueless Farkstick Brigade to show up.
2012-02-05 10:57:13 AM
1 votes:
14 year old girls know everything and will talk your ear off about that fact. Everything except "don't get wasted with a bunch of horny guys".
2012-02-05 08:59:37 AM
1 votes:
Stomach turner.
 
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