Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Woman receives Facebook friend request from the man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She gets the hero tag for how she handled it   ( moxiebird.com) divider line
    More: Hero, rape victims, Facebook, electronic publishing, friend request  
•       •       •

66167 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2012 at 10:49 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



1237 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | » | Newest

 
2012-02-05 04:34:07 PM  
html fail :(
 
2012-02-05 04:34:10 PM  

someahole: Julie Cochrane:
The next day when I complained, he got a "how do I get out of this one" expression and then told me that since I wasn't male and didn't have a penis I didn't know how difficult it was sometimes to know which orifice you were in.

I couldn't believe what the hell I just heard. "In?" I echoed. "Don't you mean at?"

"No, in." He insisted.

It took a bit for the emotional numbness to wear off and my bullshiat detector to finally override my denial, but I finally broke things off.

I'm not defending the guy you mention, but it's possible to slip into the wrong hole and not notice a difference by touch alone. That's doubly true if there is a condom involved. Again, not saying that what he did was an accident, just that it's not automatically BS (and I'm not commenting on the rape-y-ness, this is strictly off-topic.)

I would've called BS too, except it's evidently happened to me. My wife is into anal, but I make a point to always ask first and then I take it slow. One night after we finished up what I thought was vaginal sex, she says to me that she'd never been farked in the ass so hard before, but enjoyed it. At some point I slipped out and continued in the wrong hole without missing a beat or even noticing (obviously she didn't say anything). My response was "Anal? What?", and then she's confused, maintaining that it's not even the first time I've switched without asking. Evidently I don't always notice if I go in the out-door. And that's even without condoms, my wife and I don't even use them when it's just us.

If you don't slow down, I suppose both places feel about the same to a guy so long as there is enough residual KY or natural lube on him. The difference in texture gets lost once he's pounding away.


I've accidently the whole thing in the wife's pooper, too. She doesn't enjoy it at all, and I mean at all, but she hasn't thrown me in jail for "raping" her.
 
2012-02-05 04:34:56 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Debeo Summa Credo: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.

Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.


Really? I don't get that at all. Here's the critical part of the conversation for me:

"D: I do want you to know that I am so farking sorry for any pain I caused you. I did like you. There was no disrespect or ... I never saw you as a piece of meat or some biatch. You were a farked up little girl and I can see that more clearly now.

Me: Well, I was...and my background contributed....I craved that sexual attention and put myself in bad situations..."

Sounds to me like two adults looking back on events that happened 14-15 years ago and analyzing them in the context of the 28-30 year olds they are today versus the 14-15 year olds they were then. I do not in any way condone or excuse the guy's behavior, but the critical part here is what the girl is saying: she craved the sexual attention and deliberately put herself in the situation. Does that mean she deserved to be raped? Absolutely not!

I'm just curious why everyone's so quick to demonize him for clearly apologizing several times for the actions he took as a child when she didn't even once directly state, "No, what happened a decade and a half ago absolutely wasn't consensual; it was rape" even when he directly asked the question. He's no hero, but at least he did apologize (no, that doesn't make it right, but at least he's made some effort here)... but speaking as a woman who's been raped, neither is she. Confrontation isn't passive-aggressively dancing around what you need to say, which is exactly what she did. How the fark is that heroic?
 
2012-02-05 04:34:57 PM  

Valarius: Ladies of Fark

[images.blogstream.com image 455x400]


I'm sorry for the trauma you've endured. On behalf of the men who don't suck, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.


rationalmale.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2012-02-05 04:35:06 PM  

Blink: Anyway, the girl would never tell me the boy's name that did all this to her. I'd've killed him, if I learned -- which is probably, at least in a small part, why she kept it a secret. The more likely reason is just that she didn't want to talk/re-live it.

/rapists should be castrated. I could really care less if that sounds barbaric.


the horrific part of this is that the one "proven" method of treating PTSD is by reliving the memory in therapy and safely processing the event.
was it her fault? of course not
was she raped? of course
was the rapist ever held to account? of course not ...
by rationally reliving the event, they work the memory into a less visceral memory. one that can be lived with. hopefully she has gotten some help for this.

we know that the rapist is probably a politician or policeman by now ...
 
2012-02-05 04:35:41 PM  

kvinesknows: plus what the hell is penguin head?


Ctrl + F. You'll find it.
 
2012-02-05 04:36:07 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: military armrest: ExperianScaresCthulhu: KiplingKat872: This took some serious courage. I never saw the bastard who raped me again. I just wanted to run away like she said at the beginning of the article. We had been dating and he left a couple messages on my machine, pissed off that I was not returning his calls, but I never answered them and quit the place I worked at where we had met. It took me a long time to deal with what happened, and get closure on my own.

Are you one of those biatches who tells the same sob stories (different names) to the new White Knights in your life, leaving shiat out, and when your Bipolarism kicks in again, you start trying to 'recreate' history with the new White Knight who thought he was trying to help you and Be A Better Man Than The Ones Who Hurt You Before?


What the fark is wrong with you, I don't understand why you hate your fellow women so much. Do you think this will make the men on this site like you better? What did she say that has you spewing the vemon? She is relating a painful experience and how it related to the story. My question is what happened in your past to hate all woman and to act like rape never ever happens. Do you think that it can't happen to you? That if you follow the "rules" that you won't ever be attacked, cause honey I have bad news for you. I followed the rules and I still had an attempted, I got lucky and someone stopped it. But that was pure dumb luck, not all women have luck on their side.

- I hate being lied to.
- I hate when somebody tells such a lie in order to manipulate me, and manipulate others, through sympathy.
- Men want to be respected, not confronted.
- Her being lionized -- when I find her to be an unreliable narrator -- makes me spew venom.
- Emmitt Till happened, to make me distrust
- What makes you think it didn't? (It didn't.)
- I do not -- and can not allow myself -- to depend upon others to stop bad shiat for me.


So not only is the writer of the artitcle a liar, I'm a liar too? Do you have any proof that either of us are lying that justifies such a foaming at the mouth rant, when one survivor praises another for not wallowing in fear and hatred, but having the courage to confront a horrific event in her past head on?

Because I "confront" men you think in opposition to "respecting" them I deserve to be raved at thus?

I guess that answers the "do you think it will make you popular with the guys" question.

"Respect" does not equal "capitulation."

Does your cult leader know you are on the intertubes with people who live in the real world? Or did he put you on here to troll for new recruits?
 
2012-02-05 04:37:51 PM  
Since I know very little about the subject of rape having never been a raper or a rapee; and there seem to be experts on the subject in this thread, I have a question involving rape. I have been married for a number of years. Over time the sex crests and ebbs. when we are out of sync with our desires ie. I want it 4 times a week and she wants it twice a month: I have 2 choices 1. cheat. (not for me I care about my wife) 2. Hand sand the deacon. I pick #2. With kids wife and work It is tough to squeeze in a load without speed and stealth. Stealth I got but speed gets hampered by random thoughts that involve rape. I need reality in my masturbatory fantasies or I get sidetracked by the details. For example I cant punch the clown while imagining sex with Kate Bekensdale. First she would not have me, second I cant figure on a way that the two of us would be in the same room together. Even if all that can be worked out I still have the nagging issue of cheating. My fantasy must start with some reason why I am no longer married. I really dont want my wife to meet an untimely death or to run away and leave me with a filthy carnie you know small hands and smell like cabbage. So the time wasted on these "set up" details ruin the few moments I have to make a bowl of man chowder. The solution is painfully obvious. I get raped by a average looking woman. I used to go with the standard "bi-curious lesbian biker gang needs a boy toy for the evening" but it has morphed into "Lesbian Island". I am near the ocean in a warm setting, Florida perhaps. I am on the dock. Two good looking, but not too good looking, women are struggling to load the boat. I offer to help. Next thing I know I am on an island and am being explained that the island is inhabited by 30 lesbians. They want to have children. I have 3 days to impregnate all of them or they will kill me. They have no fertilization equipment so we need to use the natural method. 10 a day for three days. after a few batches of chud I come up less than able to perform but these are clever lesbian kidnappers who realize that if they put on a show with each other I could be rejuvenated. .............

The question is precisely how much can I enjoy the 30 lesbians before it becomes cheating and not rape?
 
2012-02-05 04:39:55 PM  
Women and men should be able to walk anywhere they want, in any state of intoxication, wearing anything or nothing--AND NOT BE RAPED.

Anyone who shrugs their shoulders at the disparity between that fact and our lived reality is a rape-apologist farkwit, and a HUGE part of the problem.

There is no excuse, EVER, for hearing "No, stop" out of the mouth of a 14-year-old girl, and continuing to fark her anyway. It doesn't matter how "ok" she seems to be.

People are willing to believe the horny drunk guy accurately perceived genuine "okayness" in her with what was happening to her--but they're not willing to believe the scared drunk girl, then or now, that she didn't FEEL okayness? That's a textbook case of privileging the male experience over the female one, and another huge part of the rape problem.

Repeat: drunk, emotionally confused 14-year-old girls are allowed to go ANYWHERE, and their rape is still 100% the fault of the rapist. No exceptions. Argue with this and prove your moral unfitness.
 
2012-02-05 04:40:53 PM  

gulogulo:
It doesn't offend me. Just trying to help you look less like an idiot since you're the only one using it. But, to each their own, I guess.


CRY MOAR!
 
2012-02-05 04:42:02 PM  

namatad: the horrific part of this is that the one "proven" method of treating PTSD is by reliving the memory in therapy and safely processing the event.


It's also been proven that therapy sessions can implant false memories.

/Or rather, that false memories can be implanted, and there have been several court cases where therapists implanted false memories.
 
2012-02-05 04:43:58 PM  

sarah_t_s: gulogulo:
It doesn't offend me. Just trying to help you look less like an idiot since you're the only one using it. But, to each their own, I guess.

CRY MOAR!


You're not convincing anyone.
 
2012-02-05 04:44:53 PM  
Ok, I'm honestly confused. The guy seems like he has a better understanding of the situation than he did when he was a kid. He also seems to feel regret for what happened. Maybe he doesn't believe he did rape the girl, that it was some kind of play acting.

Also, she's the one who let the exchange go on, as if she was trying to figure out the details herself.

Rape is wrong, I just don't know if he knew he was part of one when it happened.

/my head hurts.
 
2012-02-05 04:45:25 PM  

supageil: Women and men should be able to walk anywhere they want, in any state of intoxication, wearing anything or nothing--AND NOT BE RAPED.

Anyone who shrugs their shoulders at the disparity between that fact and our lived reality is a rape-apologist farkwit, and a HUGE part of the problem.

There is no excuse, EVER, for hearing "No, stop" out of the mouth of a 14-year-old girl, and continuing to fark her anyway. It doesn't matter how "ok" she seems to be.

People are willing to believe the horny drunk guy accurately perceived genuine "okayness" in her with what was happening to her--but they're not willing to believe the scared drunk girl, then or now, that she didn't FEEL okayness? That's a textbook case of privileging the male experience over the female one, and another huge part of the rape problem.

Repeat: drunk, emotionally confused 14-year-old girls are allowed to go ANYWHERE, and their rape is still 100% the fault of the rapist. No exceptions. Argue with this and prove your moral unfitness.


I should be able to leave my front door unlocked as well. Saying that doesn't mean I'm agreeing with the guy. It means that I have no reason to believe the girl over the guy without real tangible evidence.

People SHOULD be skeptical about any accusation, particularly one where the social punishment is worse than the legal punishment. You realize that many employers do social media/internet searches as part of their background checks for employee hiring(same goes for landlords and renting as well)? If my name shows up on some unsubstantiated accusation, I could be unemployable and unable to find shelter. Unless there is a preponderance of circumstantial evidence, there is no reason to believe either party.
 
2012-02-05 04:46:01 PM  
there are way too many responses to read through them all... so here is this.

remember the guy with super bowl tickets and how that ended up all fake as hell and blown out of proportion?

did you guys stop to think that maybe this story might also be blown out of proportion. maybe it happened just like she said, maybe it didn't. if she was really raped, why didn't she tell someone other than a girl she knew who then decided to tell it to everyone on the planet. maybe the guy really felt bad about everything and wanted to make amends.

also this. (FTA) "And I have these memories, but a lot of it is hazy and there are pieces that are missing and some new pieces have come back to me since I got sober. And about this incident in particular with you and M*** and C*** and a group of guys who forced me to do some things."

was she baiting him by getting him to admit something or what? because if i can't even remember a setting, i sure as hell won't remember who all was there and their names.

im gonna just say this, if you are a guy and your banging a girl, and she just up and says "NO STOP!" you stop. you can be pissed and all but ya need to stop. but reading the article twice and taking a few minutes to think about what i read, i feel like im being trolled.
 
2012-02-05 04:47:17 PM  

Aigoo: PizzaJedi81: Debeo Summa Credo: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.

Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.

Really? I don't get that at all. Here's the critical part of the conversation for me:

"D: I do want you to know that I am so farking sorry for any pain I caused you. I did like you. There was no disrespect or ... I never saw you as a piece of meat or some biatch. You were a farked up little girl and I can see that more clearly now.

Me: Well, I was...and my background contributed....I craved that sexual attention and put myself in bad situations..."

Sounds to me like two adults looking back on events that happened 14-15 years ago and analyzing them in the context of the 28-30 year olds they are today versus the 14-15 year olds they were then. I do not in any way condone or excuse the guy's behavior, but the critical part here is what the girl is saying: she craved the sexual attention and deliberately put herself in the situation. Does that mean she deserved to be raped? Absolutely not!

I'm just curious why everyone's so quick to demonize him for clearly apologizing several times for the actions he took as a child when she didn't even once directly state, "No, what happened a decade and a half ago absolutely wasn't consensual; it was rape" even when he directly asked the question. He's no hero, but at least he did apologize (no, that doesn't make it right, but at least he's made some effort here)... but speaking as a woman who's been raped, neither is she. Confrontation isn't passive-aggressively dancing around what you need to say, which is exactly what she did. How the fark is that heroic?


The funny thing, I've been on this thread, and other than a couple "rapists need to strung up" comments in the beginning, no one is really demonizing him. In fact a number of people have pointed to the friend ("M") that set it all up as the real culprit.

Have you had the courage to talk to your rapist about what happened like that? Healing and closure are not about screaming and vengence, they are about forgiveness and letting go. It is easy to hang onto the anger. Its takes a lot of time and work to put it behind you like she did.
 
2012-02-05 04:47:26 PM  

RoyBatty: My Issue


I agree I tacked that on to you and it wasn't necessarily applicable to you. For that I apologize. Yet, that was stated in this thread, but it hasn't been the 'agenda' in my posts. I just have a problem with it.

You and others insist that this is comparable to other women ruining other people's lives with false accusations. In the very Boobiess people were calling it 'regret' sex implying that she was lying. A.) we have no proof that she is lying or not. B.) No one's life is being ruined.

I can only assume that this stems from that 10%=100% attitude that the minute a woman brings up rape it should be assumed she's lying and going to ruin someone's life. If I missapplied that logic to you, again, mea culpa.
 
2012-02-05 04:48:03 PM  

Jack Kerras: My roomie's uncle's dad did some things to him that weren't so good, sexually speaking.

Statute of limitations passes, uncle cuts dad out of his life, moves on, whatev's. Has his own kids, does his own thing, deals with rape-as-child the best that he can.

He finds out his Dad is back to his old tricks, and has done something to roomie's cousin.

Shoots his Dad through the throat with a thirty-ought-six.

Two years in prison.

Justice enough, says I. Statute of limitations is well past. Uncle figures the jail time was well worth ridding the world of his dad.


Sucks your uncle had to go to jail. One of the guys who stopped my would-be rapist got a little too punchy and spend some time in jail. I always felt bad he spend time in lockup on behalf of me but he said it was a justifiable price to pay to teach that rapist S.O.B that breaking into our home and trying to rape me had dire consequences.
 
2012-02-05 04:48:49 PM  

gulogulo: sarah_t_s: gulogulo:
It doesn't offend me. Just trying to help you look less like an idiot since you're the only one using it. But, to each their own, I guess.

CRY MOAR!

You're not convincing anyone.


Mmmmm tasty raperape.
 
2012-02-05 04:50:18 PM  

s2s2s2: RoyBatty: Me: Well, I was...and my background contributed....I craved that sexual attention and put myself in bad situations. And I didn't know how to ... I said no, but I didn't scream or bite or kick because that's not what I knew how to do. I just asked you nicely to stop.

At least Emily took some personal responsibility. Probably why she isn't seeking prosecution.


That is good. At least she is somewhat rational about it and not getting into the mindset that her actions have no consequences. But still:

Me: I remember saying no, D****.

D: At least at one point, you said, 'No, let's stop.' Maybe a couple of times. But then everything would be OK. I remember afterward you were really emotionally unresponsive, not talking. You left in a hurry. When I heard that you were in a bad place, that's the first thing I kind of thought of.


This may legally constitute rape. But it isnt rape in the sense that it was about power and violence. Rather he lacked self control. I wouldnt demonize an intoxicated teenager for making this mistake to the point of calling him a sexual predator. But the other two guys in the story maybe. Its difficult to come to a fair assessment of something that is half sided from a drug/drunken haze over 10 years ago from kids.
 
2012-02-05 04:50:19 PM  

supageil: Women and men should be able to walk anywhere they want, in any state of intoxication, wearing anything or nothing--AND NOT BE RAPED.

Anyone who shrugs their shoulders at the disparity between that fact and our lived reality is a rape-apologist farkwit, and a HUGE part of the problem.

There is no excuse, EVER, for hearing "No, stop" out of the mouth of a 14-year-old girl, and continuing to fark her anyway. It doesn't matter how "ok" she seems to be.

People are willing to believe the horny drunk guy accurately perceived genuine "okayness" in her with what was happening to her--but they're not willing to believe the scared drunk girl, then or now, that she didn't FEEL okayness? That's a textbook case of privileging the male experience over the female one, and another huge part of the rape problem.

Repeat: drunk, emotionally confused 14-year-old girls are allowed to go ANYWHERE, and their rape is still 100% the fault of the rapist. No exceptions. Argue with this and prove your moral unfitness.


This is just silly. Humans, especially adolescents, express desire and complicity in numerous ways... One of which is verbally, but there's also context,.body language, other verbal cues, etc... Not to mention the fact that if you have two drunk/high teens, one's "No stop" could easily be percieved as "Don't stop" especially if the body language indicated consent. It may sound harsh, but unless the victim is screaming "Stop raping me! Stop!" While fighting back, its not rape*.

*infants, people not able to fight back etc... Not withstanding
 
2012-02-05 04:50:46 PM  
Sure is rapey in here

/Implying you can be "asking for" something that is by definition unwanted
 
2012-02-05 04:51:16 PM  

YouSirAreAMaroon: How old was he? Perhaps she is a rapist


perhaps
your point ?

rapists dont normally put themselves into restraints during the rape, but could be her thing

He does remain a rapist - assuming what she has documented is true. Since no alternate story is being offered by anyone involved, what else is there to go on ?
 
2012-02-05 04:53:23 PM  
Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.
 
2012-02-05 04:53:43 PM  

KiplingKat872: Aigoo: PizzaJedi81: Debeo Summa Credo: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.

Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.

Really? I don't get that at all. Here's the critical part of the conversation for me:

"D: I do want you to know that I am so farking sorry for any pain I caused you. I did like you. There was no disrespect or ... I never saw you as a piece of meat or some biatch. You were a farked up little girl and I can see that more clearly now.

Me: Well, I was...and my background contributed....I craved that sexual attention and put myself in bad situations..."

Sounds to me like two adults looking back on events that happened 14-15 years ago and analyzing them in the context of the 28-30 year olds they are today versus the 14-15 year olds they were then. I do not in any way condone or excuse the guy's behavior, but the critical part here is what the girl is saying: she craved the sexual attention and deliberately put herself in the situation. Does that mean she deserved to be raped? Absolutely not!

I'm just curious why everyone's so quick to demonize him for clearly apologizing several times for the actions he took as a child when she didn't even once directly state, "No, what happened a decade and a half ago absolutely wasn't consensual; it was rape" even when he directly asked the question. He's no hero, but at least he did apologize (no, that doesn't make it right, but at least he's made some effort here)... but speaking as a woman who's been raped, neither is she. Confrontation isn't passive-aggressively dancing around what you need to say, which is exactly what she did. How the fark is that heroic?

The funny thing, I've been on this thread, and other than a couple "rapists need to strung up" comments in the beginning, no one is really demonizing him. In fact a number of people have pointed to the friend ("M") that set it all up as the real culprit.

Have you had the courage to talk to your rapist about what happened like that? Healing and closure are not about screaming and vengence, they are about forgiveness and letting go. It is easy to hang onto the anger. Its takes a lot of time and work to put it behind you like she did.


I mean, once she said, "No, we should stop," twice (which he admits to) and he kept going, he became a rapist. There is no way around that.

And no one, least of all the writer of the article, is saying that she made bad choices.

But the real scary a-hole is the friend who set it all up. Yeah, she was drunk and stoned, but no one deserves to be exploited and voilated like that.
 
2012-02-05 04:54:41 PM  
Lots of people still characterizing this as post sex change of heart.

I suppose that is possible.

Equally possible that there are a lot of men on here who refuse to believe that forcing a "slut" to have sex with you is rape, even when she says no.

We are approaching a "it isn't rape when I do it" line, which is indicative of a greater problem.
 
2012-02-05 04:55:44 PM  

retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.


HA HA you banged a fat chick.
 
2012-02-05 04:56:33 PM  

retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.


Yup. That's rape by coercion. It's more common to see that type of rape in a boss/employee relationship; "Do this sexual act or be fired" type of thing.
 
2012-02-05 04:56:35 PM  

retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.


You are. You were threatened into having sex against your will. That's rape.

The body respinse is automatic, you were raped.
 
2012-02-05 04:57:37 PM  

mgshamster: namatad: the horrific part of this is that the one "proven" method of treating PTSD is by reliving the memory in therapy and safely processing the event.

It's also been proven that therapy sessions can implant false memories.

/Or rather, that false memories can be implanted, and there have been several court cases where therapists implanted false memories.


Getting a false memory from therapy via "recovered memories" and hypnosis is a lot more complicated than going to a therapist for treatment for PTSD, talking about your traumatic experiences, and processing your feelings about the trauma and how it has affected you.

You're making it sound like just walking in the door of a therapist's office for treatment makes everything ever after that you "think" you remember suspect.

It doesn't work that way.
 
2012-02-05 04:58:52 PM  

KiplingKat872: KiplingKat872: Aigoo: PizzaJedi81: Debeo Summa Credo: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.

Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.

Really? I don't get that at all. Here's the critical part of the conversation for me:

"D: I do want you to know that I am so farking sorry for any pain I caused you. I did like you. There was no disrespect or ... I never saw you as a piece of meat or some biatch. You were a farked up little girl and I can see that more clearly now.

Me: Well, I was...and my background contributed....I craved that sexual attention and put myself in bad situations..."

Sounds to me like two adults looking back on events that happened 14-15 years ago and analyzing them in the context of the 28-30 year olds they are today versus the 14-15 year olds they were then. I do not in any way condone or excuse the guy's behavior, but the critical part here is what the girl is saying: she craved the sexual attention and deliberately put herself in the situation. Does that mean she deserved to be raped? Absolutely not!

I'm just curious why everyone's so quick to demonize him for clearly apologizing several times for the actions he took as a child when she didn't even once directly state, "No, what happened a decade and a half ago absolutely wasn't consensual; it was rape" even when he directly asked the question. He's no hero, but at least he did apologize (no, that doesn't make it right, but at least he's made some effort here)... but speaking as a woman who's been raped, neither is she. Confrontation isn't passive-aggressively dancing around what you need to say, which is exactly what she did. How the fark is that heroic?

The funny thing, I've been on this thread, and other than a couple "rapists need to strung up" comments in the beginning, no one is really demonizing him. In fact a number of people have pointed to the friend ("M") that set it all up as the real culprit.

Have you had the courage to talk to your rapist about what happened like that? Healing and closure are not about screaming and vengence, they are about forgiveness and letting go. It is easy to hang onto the anger. Its takes a lot of time and work to put it behind you like she did.

I mean, once she said, "No, we should stop," twice (which he admits to) and he kept going, he became a rapist. There is no way around that.

And no one, least of all the writer of the article, is saying that she made bad choices.

But the real scary a-hole is the friend who set it all up. Yeah, she was drunk and stoned, but no one deserves to be exploited and voilated like that.


...sorry. I meant "No one, least of all the writer of the article, is DENYING she made bad choices."
 
2012-02-05 04:59:03 PM  

Slartibartfaster: YouSirAreAMaroon: How old was he? Perhaps she is a rapist

perhaps
your point ?

rapists dont normally put themselves into restraints during the rape, but could be her thing

He does remain a rapist - assuming what she has documented is true. Since no alternate story is being offered by anyone involved, what else is there to go on ?


Remain a rapist to who? You? If you call him a rapist, he'll sue you for defamation and win.
 
2012-02-05 05:00:27 PM  

retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.


The ultimate question is, was it good?
 
2012-02-05 05:00:47 PM  

huskerdu: retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.

HA HA you banged a fat chick.


Yup. That was precisely the reaction of my housemates.
 
2012-02-05 05:00:57 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: So: girl gets drunk and does drugs = not responsible for her actions...right?


Not responsible for the rapists actions.

There is a subtle difference.

Actually it's nite that subtle.
 
2012-02-05 05:02:58 PM  
bhcompy:I should be able to leave my front door unlocked as well. Saying that doesn't mean I'm agreeing with the guy. It means that I have no reason to believe the girl over the guy without real tangible evidence.

Someone entering your house without your permission is not the same as being raped. I can't believe that's even the tack you took.

Far more people (women AND men) are raped, than ever go to the cops. Far more people who report being raped are actually raped, than are lying. And yet every single farking time, we doubt the victim, or hear someone encouraging us to do so. EVEN WHEN THE RAPIST CONFESSES.

Why attempt to push public opinion counter to the odds like that, except to hold up an unnatural system? What do you personally have to gain by that? It doesn't make you look impartial and fair. It makes you look stubbornly immune to facts and probability, as well as massively lacking in human feeling.

Not to mention, in many places, you CAN leave your door unlocked. I'm sorry for you that you can't--and that you and your neighbors haven't manned up and taken action about that yet.

This isn't a rant against men. Half of the rape victims I know have been straight guys. I just can't believe this thread is full of people that have concluded that, since a rape victim can be civil to her rapist, and accept an apology, that must mean her rape was "less real" on some imaginary spectrum than the few victims that scratch and claw and never forgive--EVEN THOUGH THE GUY CONFESSED.

You are morally warped. Are you voting for Ron Paul?

"If it's an honest rape," Paul replied, "that individual should go immediately to the emergency room, I would give them a shot of estrogen." He claimed, however, that if a woman is "seven months pregnant" and says that she was raped, "It's a little bit of a different story."

Fark that noise.
 
2012-02-05 05:03:08 PM  
Did anyone else find this thread much more palatable after they had put Troublesome Strumpet on ignore and then refreshed their browser?
 
2012-02-05 05:04:08 PM  

retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.


You're not a rape victim. You're doing a disservice to actual victims of rape.
 
2012-02-05 05:05:47 PM  

huskerdu: retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.

HA HA you banged a fat chick.



HA HA, a fat chick made you bang her.
 
2012-02-05 05:06:38 PM  

Molavian: someahole: I'm not defending the guy you mention, but it's possible to slip into the wrong hole and not notice a difference by touch alone. That's doubly true if there is a condom involved. Again, not saying that what he did was an accident, just that it's not automatically BS (and I'm not commenting on the rape-y-ness, this is strictly off-topic.)

I've accidently the whole thing in the wife's pooper, too. She doesn't enjoy it at all, and I mean at all, but she hasn't thrown me in jail for "raping" her.


I wasn't commenting on the rape aspect, I'm staying out of that one. Talking about rape on the internet is straight-up tic-tac-toe.

I was just saying: for some women it might not be obvious how it would be possible for a guy to mistake their starfish for their hooha. Given that she's going to have such a viscerally different experience, some women assume that he is too. That's not the case, and it's not an automatic lie for him to say he didn't notice.
 
2012-02-05 05:07:04 PM  

tblax: bhcompy: Valarius: Ladies of Fark

[images.blogstream.com image 455x400]


I'm sorry for the trauma you've endured. On behalf of the men who don't suck, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.

Only girls can be raped? I'm a male. By the textbook definition, I was raped by a female(and she stole my virginity). I said no, she said yes, then she sat on it. I told her to stop and she didn't.

Clearly something about that aroused you or it wouldn't have been possible.
Not rape
Troll or fool, cannot tell


Clearly a troll yourself, but for the sake of anyone else: Rape is not about arousal. It is about consent. No matter how horny you are, if you say "No," it's still rape if they continue, regardless of anyone's gender.

So, imagine this. A guy and a girl, in a committed relationship, getting hot and heavy. He's aroused, she's aroused, but she just doesn't want to have sex, so she says "No" to that. And he sticks it in anyway. Guess what that is! Here's a hint - it starts with an R and ends in an "ape," and it's not "reshape." Switch the genders around - still rape! Both men? Also rape. Both women? Again, rape. Transitioning MTF and a biologically intersex person who identifies as a straight male? Doesn't matter, still rape.

Anyone who is a male, or who knows anything about males, knows that sometimes boners happen for no reason. An erection is not a 100% reliable indicator of arousal, or of much of anything except "There is more blood in my penis." (And, just to hammer it home - even if it were, arousal =/= consent.)

Any kind of rape or abuse is utter bullshiat, no matter what shape someone's genitals are, and my condolences are with anyone who's experienced it.

/female, not that it matters.
 
2012-02-05 05:07:59 PM  

Julie Cochrane: mgshamster: namatad: the horrific part of this is that the one "proven" method of treating PTSD is by reliving the memory in therapy and safely processing the event.

It's also been proven that therapy sessions can implant false memories.

/Or rather, that false memories can be implanted, and there have been several court cases where therapists implanted false memories.

Getting a false memory from therapy via "recovered memories" and hypnosis is a lot more complicated than going to a therapist for treatment for PTSD, talking about your traumatic experiences, and processing your feelings about the trauma and how it has affected you.

You're making it sound like just walking in the door of a therapist's office for treatment makes everything ever after that you "think" you remember suspect.

It doesn't work that way.


Getting false memories is easier than you think. The majority of the memories you have in your head are false. Every time you recall a piece of information in a memory at least one aspect is forgotten, or accidentally re-written. All the treasured memories you have (the ones you think about the most) are nowhere near what it was like when they actually happened

Apply this to something traumatizing. Think about how often a rape victim must think about what has happened to them. It probably becomes impossible to remember it all clearly
 
2012-02-05 05:09:26 PM  
I'm sorry, but this situation is not what I think of when I hear the word "rape". Not saying that something wrong didn't happen, and I'm not saying it's not farked up, but this guy is not entirely to blame. She got farked up at 14 years of age, and decided to meet 3 guys at a warehouse. Personally, I think that she's making herself out to be more of a victim than she really is.

Still... if it bothered her that much, I hope she's found closure.

/Yes, I am female
//And I've experienced something similar, so don't think I'm responding without knowing.
 
2012-02-05 05:11:14 PM  
Speaking as a guy who actually stopped when his date said "no," you'd be surprised how little a difference it makes in the stories she tells the next day.
 
2012-02-05 05:13:33 PM  

MoronLessOff: The ultimate question is, was it good?


I am embarrassed to say ... yes ... it was.
 
2012-02-05 05:13:50 PM  

gulogulo: RoyBatty: My IssueI agree I tacked that on to you and it wasn't necessarily applicable to you. For that I apologize.


Thank you.

Yet, that was stated in this thread, but it hasn't been the 'agenda' in my posts. I just have a problem with it.You and others insist that this is comparable to other women ruining other people's lives with false accusations. In the very Boobiess people were calling it 'regret' sex implying that she was lying. A.) we have no proof that she is lying or not. B.) No one's life is being ruined.

There's a couple of things here:

1. Is rape as bad, more bad, or less bad than a false accusation of rape?

2. Assuming it were true, Is a 10% rate of false accusations so low as to be ignorable?

Regarding 1) I can't tell you what rape feels like, I was never raped. But I have been falsely accused, and it's resulted in a) loss of my children, b) loss of friends, c) loss of career, d) loss of community, e) incredible feelings of shame and self-doubt and suicidal tendencies. And since these accusations were only made to a court psychologist and the judge of a divorce, I've never actually had a chance to clear my name, anywhere.

Oddly, my former sister-in-law(s) stick with me, because they know who their sister is.

Many people do think that a false accusation is as bad, or even worse than a rape.

How do you feel about that?

Why is it so important to you that you feel that that cannot be?

What would be the impact your thoughts regarding these sorts of stories if you felt differently about the comparative horrific outcomes of rape and false accusations?

Regarding 2)

I often read on feminists blogs that all rape is horrible. And must be stopped. And rape is severely underreported. And rapists when charged, rarely go to trial. And those who go to trial rarely are convicted.

If I said, well, rape is actually pretty rare, and if we miss a percent or two, well, I mean we try, right?

How might you perceive that?

So when, as has been done throughout this thread, I read women and false accusation apologizers saying,

"It's only 10%"

How am I to perceive that?

Also consider the Blackstone ratio. Why was it said, why did we form our justice system around the notion that it is better to let 10 guilty men go free than convict one innocent man?

How does that basic societal norm comport to how demands we convict every rapist even if 10% of rape claims are false accusations?

Finally, you think that all this condemnation of one person never identified makes it alright.

So if I had a blog post about the evils that one woman did, similar to the evils all women do, maybe she boiled my bunny because she didn't like my wife, and then I called her up on twitter and she said #lol #winning, because she is evil, because women are evil, you'd be okay with that, because no one is really being harmed. So what if it's yet another unchallengeable story about how all women are biatches and coonts, no one is being taken to court, no one's life is ruined, so why should anyone challenge it?
 
2012-02-05 05:14:50 PM  
It seems like so many people are ignoring her age. She was 14! If she says "OMG yes, I want to do all of you!" It is rape. If she says 'No!" it is even worse. She said no.
 
2012-02-05 05:15:53 PM  

retrograde: MoronLessOff: The ultimate question is, was it good?

I am embarrassed to say ... yes ... it was.


Because of the heavy, or the coercion? Coercion, I understand. Heavy? So. I've known a few gals that fit the description. A little meaty but smoking hot in the face. And I wouldn't have minded a chance at any of them. To bad I was so emo back then.
 
2012-02-05 05:16:44 PM  

tblax: Apply this to something traumatizing. Think about how often a rape victim must think about what has happened to them. It probably becomes impossible to remember it all clearly


Wait, so thinking about something a lot means you're LESS likely to remember it right?

Hope you never wasted much time studying, then.

In this story, we have a traumatized person who tried for a decade to accurately piece together what happened, dealing as well as they could with the self-doubt that our society implants in victims' heads, via people like those in this thread. Then she confronted her rapist, who validated every detail.

And you're still not so sure she remembered it right--just because she happened to try therapy?

You can learn about how the mind works from books, you know. Try it.
 
2012-02-05 05:16:48 PM  

retrograde: Here is my CSB:

I'm male. When I was in college I shared a house with some guys and we would have frequent parties. One time at one of these parties a girl, an acquaintance, came into my room and shut the door. She was one of those girls with a gorgeous face but carrying about an extra 40 pounds or so. We talked for awhile and then she leaned over and kissed me and put her hand between my legs. I had a girlfriend at the time so I pulled away. She then proceeded to undress and tell me that unless I had sex with her that she would scream and everyone would hear. So, of course, I did. I was pissed that she had threatened me so I was less than gentle with her but this just seem to excite her even more. Afterwards she got dressed, kissed me on the forehead and left. I saw her many times after this and she never once let on that anything had ever happened between us.

So, I suppose I am a rape victim.


I guess it depends on how you felt about her threat. Did you feel like it was a credible threat and have sex with her so she wouldn't scream?

That's what it sounds like, in which case yeah, that's rape.

Or did you figure her threat was a hassle you could deal with and have sex with her because you wanted to do her? I mean, if your bros were going to come in and say yeah, right and then just give you shiat and tease you and you weren't really going to have bad things happen, then that would be different from if her screaming would convince people you were a total scumbag and had the potential to ruin your life (which I see as much more likely, but I don't know that, and you do).

If her threat was credible and would have harmed you and you had sex with her to keep her from harming you, when you otherwise wouldn't have sex with her, yep, rape.

Rape has varying degrees of aggravating factors that the rapist does or doesn't do in addition to the bare fact of the act, and there are varying degrees of damage the act and or the aggravating factors do or don't do to the victim.

I don't know what you went through, but it probably at least caused you a lot of really uncomfortable feelings of guilt and shame with/around your girlfriend. Bare minimum.

And then there's seeing her and her acting like nothing even happened. At least until you figured out she was going to keep her mouth shut, that had to have tied your stomach in knots wondering what story she might make up and to who, and whether she'd come back for more.

Not to mention the anger.

So yeah, that sounds like no picnic. Some women are scum.
 
Displayed 50 of 1237 comments


Oldest | « | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | » | Newest


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report