Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Woman receives Facebook friend request from the man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She gets the hero tag for how she handled it   ( moxiebird.com) divider line
    More: Hero, rape victims, Facebook, electronic publishing, friend request  
•       •       •

66167 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2012 at 10:49 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



1237 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | » | Newest

 
2012-02-05 03:04:09 PM  
I pretty much stop believing either side of any story that begins with "so, we were getting drunk and high in this abandonded warehouse." More so, when it was fifteen years ago, more so still if that puts the supposed participants in high school. Glad they both seem to have cleaned up as adults. Beyond that, nothing...
 
2012-02-05 03:05:24 PM  

Garble: Pro Tip: If you have to think about it after the fact and eventually decide that it was rape. It wasn't rape.


Protip: You don't have a clue what you're talking about and have no experience with the psychology of trauma. Nothing written in the article, if it is exactly as it is described, indicates after-sex regret.
 
2012-02-05 03:05:47 PM  

stonelotus: Troublesome Strumpet: Honestly, how can some of you defend rapists? When a victim is blamed, it's basically saying the perpetrator can't help themselves. They're base creatures who can't be trusted to function in society in that case, so why not treat known, proven rapists like animals and put them down for the benefit of society?

You come across someone raping someone else? Shoot them in the head right then and there, like a rabid animal mauling a victim.

I'm not joking, I'm not exaggerating. Put a rapist down where they stand. I intend to get a gun and learn to use it, and a CCL. If someone tries to rape me or my children, they're getting a few bullets in them until they stop moving.

you sound fat.


Only sort of. The rest is baby.
 
2012-02-05 03:06:42 PM  

punistation: [29.media.tumblr.com image 385x383]

This is why I watch My Little Pony.

The world is a horrible place. And waking up to a typical day only to see a story on Fark about tween gangrape and dog leashes and over 400 replies from boys arguing back and forth about wether she asked for it...

Yeah. I need the escape. Just for 20 minutes.


Oh you poor thing! You should totes give hugs to the little girl upthread who needed therapy when a tard stole a kiss from her.
 
2012-02-05 03:07:06 PM  

morgantx: My rapist tried to friend me on Facebook. I just ignored & blocked.

I ran into him about 3 years after the incident at a ballet class. I was TERRIFIED! He just said, "Are you still mad about what happened a few years ago? That wasn't any big thing." And that was it. That was the closest to an apology that I ever got.

Look, I'm not saying that what this guy did was right. It wasn't. But the fact is that he does actually seem remorseful about it, and he's apologizing about it, and that's more than most of us will ever get.


Ballet?

Not the hobby I expect from a rapist.
 
2012-02-05 03:07:47 PM  

serial_crusher: TheShavingofOccam123: How bad is it over at Google? I tried to do a custom-range search for a rape thread on LAST YEAR'S Super Bowl Sunday morning--you know to see whether trolling rape victims on Super Bowl Sunday has become an annual thing on Fark.com. I click on Custom range and Google takes me back a page. That's it. Nothing more.

Jeebus.

Hmm, I tried it too and it just did nothing.
If you click on one of the other date ranges (well,l clicked "past 24 hours"), then the custom range button works. this is the closest to a rape thread I could find.


It works now for me on Firefox. I reported the problem to Google and it stopped. God, I'm good.

And I take back every malicious accusery I made towards an annual rape troll thread on Super Bowl Sunday. There wasn't one last year.

I do humbly apologize.
 
2012-02-05 03:08:56 PM  

theurbanpagan: blondski: All of these comments from women make me wonder if any woman makes it through life with out some sort of creepy ass touching them with out consent.

Nope. Happened to me too.

It was the middle of the day about ten years ago. I was selling cell phones at a kiosk in Sam's Club. A man I had just finished chatting with about a phone grabbed my ass when I turned to put the phone back on the shelf. I put him in an armbar and dropped him to the ground. I remember that I told him "There is one man in this world that can touch me without my permission. You are not that man. Now apologize." It was right at that moment that his wife returned to the kiosk and was freaked to see her husband on the ground. She asked what was going on. I told her and said I was still waiting for an apology. He apologized and I let him go.


I how often it happens to men also? I had a female co-worker who would playfully grab my ass frequently. I told her once that it was unwelcome, then had to tell her twice so I used a more serious tone of voice. She got the message that time. I never really considered it that big of a deal...
 
2012-02-05 03:09:29 PM  
Rape is a really, really unfortunate issue.

There seems to be a break in most folks' minds, though; I'm a pretty major self-defense kinda guy, I teach handgun safety classes and tell folks what sorts of things they should look into carrying when they take the defensive handgun course, but the thing I tell them the most is that they really shouldn't be doing stupid things because they have guns.

Really, they shouldn't be doing stupid things at all. Dark alleys are not where you belong. Trashed as fark in a roomful of guys is not where you belong.

I'm not sure how she got there, trashed already. I have no interest in protecting people who have perpetrated rape, but it is such a huge issue that some very black-and-white shiat starts coming out, and black and white is -never- how it actually works.

If someone walks down the street in a crappy neighborhood with a thousand-dollar wad of twenties, counting while they walk and whistling to themselves and wearing expensive clothes, they're making themselves a target. If they got robbed and shot, then told you they were walking down the street counting their thousand dollars in a nice suit, you'd ask them what the fark they were doing walking down the street counting their thousand dollars.

Does it mean they deserve to get shot? No. No one should get shot or robbed or anything else. But doing stupid things makes a victim out of you. Yes, you're still the victim; a crime was perpetrated against you. Rape is an attack like any other; it usually has little or nothing to do with sex, it's all power, power, power. People don't rape because they're aroused, generally speaking, they rape because they're angry and they feel the need to hurt somebody.

It's annoying that this has to come up this way. Hearing that any kind of sexual injustice has occurred just turns off brains and turns on self-righteous bullshiat. I've been victimized by absolutely inaccurate, one-hundred-percent false rumors that I molested a kid; some asshole parent started said rumor while I ran an Internet cafe in my town, and it was basically the beginning of the end for the place. The lady being pissed at me and saying 'oh he's just some farkin' pedophile' was enough for one parent to tell another parent and then more until suddenly no kids ever come into my place anymore. I used to have to turn them around because all three of my XBoxes had four middle-school kids screaming at it already. Business was doing awesome at one point.

I was never accused, never had to go to court, never had to hear what bullshiat evidence there was behind this... yeah, I ran a business. Yeah, there were kids there, it was a video game place. But people turned that into 'dangerous pervert' with absolutely no substance to the claims, and that shiat got around like wildfire until no kid was allowed in the place anymore.

Rumors of sexual crime were enough to shut my business down, and me along with it. I've been good and broke for a while now, but I like the town and I don't feel like skulking away because someone made up a vicious rumor. That said, I also kinda understand what the accusation, or even the rumor, can do to someone who wasn't at fault. Was this guy at fault? Yeah, it sounds like he did a dumb thing. It also sounds like he was a young guy in a group of other young guys, which is basically the recipe, historically speaking, for dumb things to happen.

Maybe his buddies were the assholes and he was kind of along for the ride, and he liked this farked-up (on drugs, not emotionally) girl that seemed perfectly happy to go along with their bullshiat at the time. Maybe he was not equipped by his parents or by the startling lack of sexual education in this country to understand what the fark was going on. Maybe he was an asshole that did awful things to a girl and is trying to get out from under it now.

You don't know, and neither do I. The girl regretted it afterwards and that sucks, but you don't walk down dark alleys counting your thousand bucks in cash and you don't go to warehouses with a bunch of guys in them high and drunk. Was she a dumb kid? Yes. He probably was also. People get in shiatty situations all the time, but it happens extra when everyone involved is a dumb kid, which it sounds like they all were. I'd be much less sympathetic if it came out that the guy was in his twenties at the time, but it doesn't sound like that was the case.

Anyway. I'm going to quit ranting. Articles like this annoy the piss out of me because they have nothing to do with the reality of the situation. I've had some traumatic shiat happen in my life (like my Dad's roomie shooting his head off with a shotgun in our oven, and some pretty weird, wrong-place/wrong-time sexual stuff being done to me) but dealing with it, educating myself, and helping others not get into those situations is my medicine of choice.

In closing, I guess I think everyone involved owns a piece. The guy did something he shouldn't have done in sexing up a presumably-younger girl who was out of it at the time, and the girl did something she shouldn't have done by being in such a high-and-drunk farked-up haze that she couldn't so much as remember all the details to the event. Was it a mistake on both ends? I think so. Was it a malicious attack? It doesn't really sound like it, but I don't have enough information to be sure.

I can't be pissed at the guy.

Blaming the victim is usually not on the level, but the reality of the situation is that there are things you can do to prevent violence of any kind from happening to you. Not showing up trashed at a warehouse full of guys when you're a fourteen-year-old girl is a great start.

Flame on, I guess. I'm gonna get farkin' eviscerated for saying all that.
 
2012-02-05 03:10:08 PM  

liam76:
Ballet?

Not the hobby I expect from a rapist.


Say no more. (new window)
 
2012-02-05 03:10:09 PM  

serial_crusher: I wonder how often it happens to men also?


ftfm
 
2012-02-05 03:10:31 PM  

gulogulo: Protip: You don't have a clue what you're talking about and have no experience with the psychology of trauma. Nothing written in the article, if it is exactly as it is described, indicates after-sex regret.


Except for the fact that she admitted she had no recollection of the event, and now she's merely relaying what he might have said during a conversation but we don't really know since we don't even know who he is or if he exists, or what he might have said to defend himself, or what his side of the story even is.

But yeah besides all that, the article is crystal clear exactly what happened.
 
2012-02-05 03:11:06 PM  

badhatharry: This is why I always secretly videotape it anytime I have sex.


thats kinda hot.

lohphat: punistation:

The world is a horrible place. And waking up to a typical day only to see a story on Fark about tween gangrape and dog leashes and over 400 replies from boys arguing back and forth about wether she asked for it...

No one's saying she asked for it. That's just projection.

Being in a foolish location with other foolish kids is the key catalyst.


for gods sake why!!??? this makes its worse as far as I'm concerned. Its at least one person she knew already. Are you going to be on guard with every friend, or aquaintance? Or friends of friends? You are invited out somewhere with a friend and he's like, oh hey therell be a couple other of my friends there. and then youre like.. oh I guess I cant go cause you all might be plotting to rape me.

So, at least according to fark we are damned for assuming everyone's a rapist. yet if we don't its our fault for asking for it when we do get raped?

for the love of god I cant believe how stupid this thread is and why I am even responding to such ridiculous assertions.

I have a sneaky feeling I've just been trolled. to add insult to injury.

gettin too ragey, time to watch my little pony indeed.
 
2012-02-05 03:12:36 PM  

serial_crusher: theurbanpagan: blondski: All of these comments from women make me wonder if any woman makes it through life with out some sort of creepy ass touching them with out consent.

Nope. Happened to me too.

It was the middle of the day about ten years ago. I was selling cell phones at a kiosk in Sam's Club. A man I had just finished chatting with about a phone grabbed my ass when I turned to put the phone back on the shelf. I put him in an armbar and dropped him to the ground. I remember that I told him "There is one man in this world that can touch me without my permission. You are not that man. Now apologize." It was right at that moment that his wife returned to the kiosk and was freaked to see her husband on the ground. She asked what was going on. I told her and said I was still waiting for an apology. He apologized and I let him go.

I how often it happens to men also? I had a female co-worker who would playfully grab my ass frequently. I told her once that it was unwelcome, then had to tell her twice so I used a more serious tone of voice. She got the message that time. I never really considered it that big of a deal...


Male nurses are assaulted in this manner FAAAAR more often than females.

I get grabbed, or someone attempts to grab me multiple times per week.

/yes. Really.
 
2012-02-05 03:13:28 PM  

morgantx:
Frankly, we need to educate men and boys that NO ALWAYS MEANS NO. But - and this is a note to the ladies - we ladies need to be absolutely consistent in enforcing that. And that means that we need to quit playing all these stupid little games. We need to quit "playing hard to get" and just be honest about what we want. And THAT means that we need to stop shaming sexually active women as "sluts" and "whores" just because they openly admit what they want instead of playing these stupid little games in order to get laid.

And once I realized that, I've always made it my policy to address my sexuality openly and encourage others to do the same. So if I see a guy in a bar that I want to fark, I have no qualms about approaching him and saying, "You want to go have a one-night stand?" (Most guys are THRILLED at the openness.) But likewise, when I tell a guy, "No, I'm not interested," I don't sit there are keep flirting with him and making him think he still has a chance. I'm nice. I'm polite. But I'm HONEST about what I want and what I don't want. And if every woman was as open and honest, then we could make it MUCH easier for men to tell the difference between a woman who's truly saying no and a woman who's "playing hard to get".

But men? Err on the side of caution. If you want women who will openly address their sexual desires with you, you have to stop rewarding women for playing these stupid little games. Boycott manipulative women, and train women to be open about their sexual desires. Then maybe in our children's generation, we won't have this problem, because "no" will REALLY mean "no" 100% of the time, and there will be no confusion about what a woman wants, and then everybody can get laid happily, consensually, and frequently!.


You get favorited just for that (and you should win 1 Internet).

It infuriates me to see the same women who chant "No means No!" and participating in Take Back the Night marches getting stupidly drunk, rewarding men for loutish behavior, and generally playing stupid games that do, in part, leave everyone confused about how to act. Are there sociopaths out there who going to be violent and aggressive no matter what women do? Yes, and that's cause for strong laws (and having every woman who's capable carrying concealed, but that's another topic). If men need to learn how to behave, so do women. The ways in which men and women behave in intimate relationships, or even in casual ones, are intertwined, and women who think their gender should carry no responsibility for male behavior don't get this.

Screaming about how we can't blame the victim doesn't accomplish much. Teaching our daughters to value themselves, act in self-defense when necessary, understand their own sexuality, and understand male psychology/sexuality and their influence on it does much more good for the world. Sex is not evil, men are not pigs, and women are not powerless.

"So if she says, "No," and you're 99% sure that she's just playing hard to get, walk away." - I'd pay money to sit in a college bar and watch that happen. Anything to stop the games and the encouragement of loutish behavior for the sake of attention.
 
2012-02-05 03:13:43 PM  

Troublesome Strumpet: Honestly, how can some of you defend rapists? When a victim is blamed,


I've been the victim of false accusations of domestic violence and sexual abuse repeatedly from my ex-wife. None of it was ever substantiated with the least bit of evidence from teachers, doctors, neighbors, relatives, shrinks, police, the kids, ....

Regardless, her behavior was never punished by courts, and only rewarded "Ms. Batty has no evidence to support her claim, but her claims are so strong we recommend continuing with the current visitation plan and looking again in six months."

My ex would probably describe herself as a feminist, and has multiple graduate degrees and is gainfully employed in a professional role with her Ph.D in a school district.

Her lies and the court reactions to it have pretty much devastated my life.

So no, I just don't take the accuser's word for it.

This does not mean I apologize for rape, regardless of how much you insist it must in order to bully the thread.
 
2012-02-05 03:14:06 PM  

serial_crusher: serial_crusher: I wonder how often it happens to men also?

ftfm


I don't know. I know my husband hasn't had anything like this happen to him. Nor my brother. I'll ask my friends the next time I see them. I'd be interested to know.
 
2012-02-05 03:15:21 PM  

serial_crusher: theurbanpagan: blondski: All of these comments from women make me wonder if any woman makes it through life with out some sort of creepy ass touching them with out consent.

Nope. Happened to me too.

It was the middle of the day about ten years ago. I was selling cell phones at a kiosk in Sam's Club. A man I had just finished chatting with about a phone grabbed my ass when I turned to put the phone back on the shelf. I put him in an armbar and dropped him to the ground. I remember that I told him "There is one man in this world that can touch me without my permission. You are not that man. Now apologize." It was right at that moment that his wife returned to the kiosk and was freaked to see her husband on the ground. She asked what was going on. I told her and said I was still waiting for an apology. He apologized and I let him go.

I how often it happens to men also? I had a female co-worker who would playfully grab my ass frequently. I told her once that it was unwelcome, then had to tell her twice so I used a more serious tone of voice. She got the message that time. I never really considered it that big of a deal...


Wow - it wasn't until just now that I even realized it but.....

When I was in high school I was friends with a guy who was the token 'nerd'. We used to program our TI-86s together. I was a nerd too, but next to him, I was captain of the football team. There was a girl, one girl in particular and her two friends that used to joke around with him. I don't know how it all got started, but she took to professing her love for him, in a very fake/over the top way. But I swear, for six months or so, during junior year, she'd do all sorts of inappropriate stuff - including grabbing his junk. I mean, if you reverse the genders; it would be straight out of a Lifetime special.

I never thought anything of it at the time....looking at it now, it seems a lot more inappropriate.
 
2012-02-05 03:15:52 PM  

Allornone: Um. The girl was, by the own guy's admission, high, drunk, leashed and collared, outnumbered three to one in a farking warehouse. And she said no. Several times. Again, those details are not in dispute because the GUY ADMITS THEM. She may have been in handcuffs as well, but he doesn't remember them. Now, I'm no expert in mixed signals, but if an underage girl is drunk, high, leashed, and collared, outnumbered three to one in a farking warehouse and says no, then stop. Just stop. Even if you think she says yes after the original no. You should have already stopped at the original no. She's not fighting back enough? Well, then, just how hard was she supposed to fight considering, again, her mental state, her FARKING RESTRAINTS, the fact she was outnumbered three to one in warehouse (where help might not exactly be readily available)?

Now I'm giving you this advice to keep your ass out of jail. Forget mixed signals. If a girl says no. Stop. Just farking stop. No matter how much you think she wants it. Stop. And then you won't go to prison for rape (and likely get raped yourself).


Neither one of them remember much of anything. Only thing truly not in question is her age. 14 is too young. HOWEVER, as pointed out by others earlier in the thread, we're not told how old the dudes she went to the warehouse were. If they were also 14 (or 13, or 15, or 16)...... that remains a different 'statutory' beast from if the three dudes were 20 or 30 or older. Also, the dude in the articles says that one of the kid's dad owned the warehouse (so not only are they all young, but oh boy! a rich boy has an interest in the low self-esteem chick! How many times has that scenario played out in wold history?

As for the restraints, children playing grown up games... games grown ups fark up, themselves, to be honest. She went willingly. There's no reason to believe she didn't also allow herself to be restrained willingly. Because that's what the boys wanted, the defense mechanism she speaks of so honestly in that link above, of being "sexually brash".

As for keeping my ass out of jail: I'm broke, and so is my family. If a prosecutor wants to put me in jail, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to wait for the DNA results to be accepted as evidence.

/a chick
//every false accusation ruins all of us
///every 'after the fact' accusation does, too
/owing your sexuality doesn't include mental gymnastics
to absolve one's self for bad decisions entered willingly
 
2012-02-05 03:17:52 PM  

serial_crusher: theurbanpagan: blondski: All of these comments from women make me wonder if any woman makes it through life with out some sort of creepy ass touching them with out consent.

Nope. Happened to me too.

It was the middle of the day about ten years ago. I was selling cell phones at a kiosk in Sam's Club. A man I had just finished chatting with about a phone grabbed my ass when I turned to put the phone back on the shelf. I put him in an armbar and dropped him to the ground. I remember that I told him "There is one man in this world that can touch me without my permission. You are not that man. Now apologize." It was right at that moment that his wife returned to the kiosk and was freaked to see her husband on the ground. She asked what was going on. I told her and said I was still waiting for an apology. He apologized and I let him go.

I how often it happens to men also? I had a female co-worker who would playfully grab my ass frequently. I told her once that it was unwelcome, then had to tell her twice so I used a more serious tone of voice. She got the message that time. I never really considered it that big of a deal...


When I was 15 I worked as a dishwasher at a restaurant. One of the waitresses walked up behind me and did a reach-under actually rubbing my a-hole. Everyone in the kitchen saw it and was laughing. The act didn't bother me, but the laughing was a bit embarrassing. If the genders were reversed, a guy would have been charged with sexual assault.
 
2012-02-05 03:18:13 PM  

Occam's Nailfile: Do women feel that they have any responsibility at all to avoid encouraging situations that could lead to them being assaulted?


Reading thread to see the answer to this...
 
2012-02-05 03:19:16 PM  

punistation: [29.media.tumblr.com image 385x383]

This is why I watch My Little Pony.

The world is a horrible place. And waking up to a typical day only to see a story on Fark about tween gangrape and dog leashes and over 400 replies from boys arguing back and forth about wether she asked for it...

Yeah. I need the escape. Just for 20 minutes.


Or you could forgo spending countless hours on Fark...but hey, it's your life.
 
2012-02-05 03:19:24 PM  

s2s2s2: I have always, ALWAYS, taken no to mean no. This angered more than a handful of potential partners who later told me they didn't mean it. I'm with Louis CK: I'm not going to rape you on the off chance you will be into it. Even if you have a safe word, I have better things to do with my time.

 
2012-02-05 03:20:19 PM  

Begoggle: [img.photobucket.com image 500x500]

In all seriousness, I dont think this was a good approach.
Confronting the guy only makes him feel better... like, "we talked it out, it's cool"... and from the conversation, she is very wishy-washy about it, like "did that really happen? was I raped? I don't even know?" well if you don't know, then WTF. In the end of the conversation, it sounds like neither of them could decide if she was raped or not.

 
2012-02-05 03:20:22 PM  

ChuDogg: gulogulo: Protip: You don't have a clue what you're talking about and have no experience with the psychology of trauma. Nothing written in the article, if it is exactly as it is described, indicates after-sex regret.

Except for the fact that she admitted she had no recollection of the event, and now she's merely relaying what he might have said during a conversation but we don't really know since we don't even know who he is or if he exists, or what he might have said to defend himself, or what his side of the story even is.

But yeah besides all that, the article is crystal clear exactly what happened.


No. She said she had spotty recollection, not "no recolleciton." You really haven't had something absolutely mind numbling horrific happen to you, have you? Our brains have ways of 'protecting itself' so that we can continue to function in the face of trauma. It wasn't rape, but I had something particularly traumatic happen to me when I was in my pre-teens. I still have spots of my memory that I can't seem to fill the blanks on. I know it was bad, and sometimes my brain tries to connect the dots and I can't always trust how it does it. Was it suggested to me by a movie? I don't know. I never will.

Moreover, in this situation, what happened to her, when it happened to her would be REALLY embarrassing. You'd know there'd be tons of people questioning how someone as fat as her would be raped, that she'd be antagonized endlessly over it at that age. So if she did admit to herself at that time she was raped, she'd have either have had to deal with the crushing emotional trauma that brings with it on her own, or risk telling and the backlash it would bring. Or, you can lie to yourself and tell yourself 'everything is fine.' I find it plausible that someone would tell themselves they weren't raped to save themselves from the burden that brings with it.

Lastly, I admit this is one woman reporting her experience. We have no idea if it really went down like this, either her description of the actual rape event or her conversation with said rapists. Can't say. I just hope you put all stories told by one person of their experience through the same kind of hyper-scrutiny as you are putting hers through. Wouldn't want you to be a hypocrite or anything.
 
2012-02-05 03:21:11 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Occam's Nailfile: Do women feel that they have any responsibility at all to avoid encouraging situations that could lead to them being assaulted?

Reading thread to see the answer to this...


Well...

Saying that they DONT is like going into an naacp meeting and calling everyone a certain euphamism for black people, and then claiming to have done nothing to provoke the ass-stomping.
 
2012-02-05 03:21:31 PM  

shastacola: I think it's interesting that the rape apologist here are glossing right over this:

And C*** tried to give me a drag of his cigarette and he was like, "Don't give her that. She doesn't deserve anything." He was really mean and threatening. Does that ring true to you?

D: I can totally 100% see M*** saying that and C*** going along with it. M*** had been in a similar situation ... some really shady shiat with one of our friend' sisters. He spent an amount of time in a boy's home. He would manipulate, lie, cheat, steal. And C*** was just a flunky who would go along with whatever he said.

Me: Wow. So that would have been in character for him?

D: Completely. If you told me that you were forced, coerced, used, abused, threatened, I would totally buy it.


But she totally asked for it by not standing up to the threatening psychopath who was leading the pack of
willing rapists. God, this thread makes me weep for your future daughters.


Did anyone actually give the two other people who raped this woman a bie, or any kind of pass?

I haven't read that. Frankly, M*** (the leader of the pack so it seems) was definitely a psychopath. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that he's presently in prison or have committed additional crimes. C*** is just as dangerous because it sounds like he is nothing more than a follower and can be talked into pretty much anything (i.e., submissive personality and just enough moral flexibility to justify whatever he does because a dominant personality told him to do so).

I think folks are concentrating on D***, since Emily McCombs is the subject of the article and D*** was the person she was speaking to.

That said, you make a good point, and not enough attention is being paid to the actions of all three of these bastages.
 
2012-02-05 03:21:51 PM  

ChuDogg: What you are describing is a "freeze out " among the pickup artists. Think about, guys that routinely debate the best was to casually score chicks with no romantic involvement: have a word for it.


Holy fark. That's some seriously effed up shiat.
 
2012-02-05 03:22:17 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Allornone: Um. The girl was, by the own guy's admission, high, drunk, leashed and collared, outnumbered three to one in a farking warehouse. And she said no. Several times. Again, those details are not in dispute because the GUY ADMITS THEM. She may have been in handcuffs as well, but he doesn't remember them. Now, I'm no expert in mixed signals, but if an underage girl is drunk, high, leashed, and collared, outnumbered three to one in a farking warehouse and says no, then stop. Just stop. Even if you think she says yes after the original no. You should have already stopped at the original no. She's not fighting back enough? Well, then, just how hard was she supposed to fight considering, again, her mental state, her FARKING RESTRAINTS, the fact she was outnumbered three to one in warehouse (where help might not exactly be readily available)?

Now I'm giving you this advice to keep your ass out of jail. Forget mixed signals. If a girl says no. Stop. Just farking stop. No matter how much you think she wants it. Stop. And then you won't go to prison for rape (and likely get raped yourself).

Neither one of them remember much of anything. Only thing truly not in question is her age. 14 is too young. HOWEVER, as pointed out by others earlier in the thread, we're not told how old the dudes she went to the warehouse were. If they were also 14 (or 13, or 15, or 16)...... that remains a different 'statutory' beast from if the three dudes were 20 or 30 or older. Also, the dude in the articles says that one of the kid's dad owned the warehouse (so not only are they all young, but oh boy! a rich boy has an interest in the low self-esteem chick! How many times has that scenario played out in wold history?

As for the restraints, children playing grown up games... games grown ups fark up, themselves, to be honest. She went willingly. There's no reason to believe she didn't also allow herself to be restrained willingly. Because that's what the boys wanted, the defense mechanism she speaks of so honestly in that link above, of being "sexually brash".

As for keeping my ass out of jail: I'm broke, and so is my family. If a prosecutor wants to put me in jail, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to wait for the DNA results to be accepted as evidence.

/a chick
//every false accusation ruins all of us
///every 'after the fact' accusation does, too
/owing your sexuality doesn't include mental gymnastics
to absolve one's self for bad decisions entered willingly


It the automatic assumption that all accusations are false that makes it hard for women to come foraward. Not the 10% of rape charges that turn put to be false.

This wasn't even a story about hunting the guy down to throw in jail or revenge, but her courage and maturity in dealing with her past. That's why she did not give names. It was about her healing, not destroying him.

So why are so many people ready to call her a liar?
 
2012-02-05 03:22:23 PM  

Troublesome Strumpet: Honestly, how can some of you defend rapists? When a victim is blamed, it's basically saying the perpetrator can't help themselves. They're base creatures who can't be trusted to function in society in that case, so why not treat known, proven rapists like animals and put them down for the benefit of society?

You come across someone raping someone else? Shoot them in the head right then and there, like a rabid animal mauling a victim.

I'm not joking, I'm not exaggerating. Put a rapist down where they stand. I intend to get a gun and learn to use it, and a CCL. If someone tries to rape me or my children, they're getting a few bullets in them until they stop moving.


I saw that episode of Twilight Zone. I'm surprised feminists didn't boycott it off the air, with an ending like that.
 
2012-02-05 03:22:33 PM  

Jack Kerras:

my herniated disc:
So, at least according to fark we are damned for assuming everyone's a rapist. yet if we don't its our fault for asking for it when we do get raped?


This. I will once again refer people to the Just World theory on Wikipedia. For those who can't/won't click, it's basically the mistaken belief that if we do things just right, bad things won't happen to us, and if something bad happens to someone else, well, they either did something to deserve it or just weren't doing things right.

It's a dangerous and poisonous line of thinking, both because it causes people to take shortcuts in their thinking and not stay aware of potential dangers, and it places blame on people who, quite frankly, probably had shiatty luck or other mitigating circumstances.
 
2012-02-05 03:23:08 PM  
"Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled. Self-doubt complicated her healing process,"

so she was all farked up on drugs and booze, got gang-banged, and then sobered up and decided it was rape so she wouldnt feel like a giant whore.

typical really.
 
2012-02-05 03:24:12 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: As for the restraints, children playing grown up games... games grown ups fark up, themselves, to be honest. She went willingly. There's no reason to believe she didn't also allow herself to be restrained willingly. Because that's what the boys wanted, the defense mechanism she speaks of so honestly in that link above, of being "sexually brash".


When I was 14/15 I dated a goth for a bit and she wore a choker with one of those rings on the center. They sold them at hot topic, and not being a goth myself, I had no idea what they were. Only later one night would she show me: it was for attaching a chain to it and making it a leash.

/14 and 15 years can be alot more sexually advanced than you would think. Sometimes we forget what we were like at that age.
 
2012-02-05 03:25:02 PM  
Got to love how if you dont immediately want to console the victim and strangle everyone else in these situations then you get called evil by all the "enlightened" among us. The bottom line here is: If you dont know by age 14 that putting yourself in a situation like this is inviting bad things to happen to you then you have more serious problems than getting raped.Thats not blaming the victim. Thats calling the victims judgement and sense of awareness into serious question, and in these cases thats fair. If I left my keys in the Ferrari I was driving and the engine running as I went in to get groceries in a bad area of town, do I deserve to get my car stolen? No. But how sorry for me are you going to feel when I tell you about it?
 
2012-02-05 03:26:26 PM  

spidermilk: So sad. I cannot imagine ever having the strength to confront someone about that- sounds like a very brave woman.

Note to everyone:
Don't have sex with drunk people. Is that so hard? Wait until you aren't drunk. If you can't have sex without one or the other parties being drunk/high then deal with your problems.


Here's the problem: A LOT of people use intoxication as a way to justify their own sexual behavior. Maybe this is only a problem in conservative, Christian-dominated areas, but it's a HUGE issue where I live. I have encountered MANY women who have gone out drinking, gotten "drunk" off of a single rum and coke, and then slept with some guy (usually without protection). It's stupid. But the fact is that these women are not "drunk" - they're using alcohol as an excuse to justify the fact that they wanted to sleep with this guy.

When I would go out to get laid (back before I met the hubby), I would ALWAYS carry protection. I would find the guy I was interested in, approach him, ask him if he was interested in a one-night stand, and then go back to his place or a motel to fark. I might tell him my name, but I most certainly would NOT invite him back to my place. I wouldn't even get in his car. I would meet him at his place or a neutral location; that way, I had MY car and could leave whenever I wanted to. I always insisted on protection - it was never even up for questioning. And MY attitude makes me a "slut". Meanwhile, my friends are going out, getting drunk, getting in some guy's car (when the guy is even drunker), inviting the guy back to their place, and having unprotected sex (because if you carry condoms, you're obviously "expecting" it, which means it was pre-meditated), and (not surprisingly) contracting all sorts of STDs, and THEY'RE okay because "it just happened"? Or because, "I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing"? Bullshiat.

Now, spidermilk, I agree with you. I have actually refused to have sex with a guy because he was drunk, because I couldn't feel safe with somebody who was intoxicated and may or may not be in full control of his faculties. And being female, he was a lot bigger & stronger than me, so I didn't want to run the risk that he would drunkenly disregard my personal boundaries. But the fact is that people DO frequently use alcohol as an excuse for sex, and until people can just admit that they want to get farked without all the games, misunderstandings and confusion are going to be the norm.

liam76: morgantx: My rapist tried to friend me on Facebook. I just ignored & blocked.

I ran into him about 3 years after the incident at a ballet class. I was TERRIFIED! He just said, "Are you still mad about what happened a few years ago? That wasn't any big thing." And that was it. That was the closest to an apology that I ever got.

Look, I'm not saying that what this guy did was right. It wasn't. But the fact is that he does actually seem remorseful about it, and he's apologizing about it, and that's more than most of us will ever get.

Ballet?

Not the hobby I expect from a rapist.


He was a football player with an injury. His coach forced him into ballet class to rehab his foot. I was a little shocked to see him there myself!

/Thanks to my sponsor for TF, BTW!
//You know who you are!
///Slashies!
 
2012-02-05 03:27:03 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Thanks...i got that memo already. Perhaps a few women didnt.


Same with the men. This thread is about a woman being raped by a group of men, so that's the direction this discussion is taking. If you don't like that, you're not being forced to read.
 
2012-02-05 03:27:21 PM  
14 year old skank gets so shiat-faced on drugs and booze that she blows 3 guys and farks one of them, but

Troublesome Strumpet: People: No means no.


And "I was too shiat-faced to remember exactly what happened" means "reasonable doubt".

Did she say no? She thinks she might have, but SHE WAS TOO FARKING STONED to say for sure. Sorry, that you're not a credible witness. Don't be a drugged out little skank, and maybe you won't wind up blowing them all and farking one of them.

Doing something when you're stoned and then regretting it the morning after isn't rape, except in the masturbatory fantasies of feminazis who want to redefine any sex involving a penis as "rape".

Of course it's easier to justify YOUR lack of judgement to say "I was raped" instead of saying "I was a drugged out little slut who'd suck guys cocks if they got me high enough". Playing the rape card is a great way to absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions.
 
2012-02-05 03:27:35 PM  

Lizardking: Got to love how if you dont immediately want to console the victim and strangle everyone else in these situations then you get called evil by all the "enlightened" among us. The bottom line here is: If you dont know by age 14 that putting yourself in a situation like this is inviting bad things to happen to you then you have more serious problems than getting raped.Thats not blaming the victim. Thats calling the victims judgement and sense of awareness into serious question, and in these cases thats fair. If I left my keys in the Ferrari I was driving and the engine running as I went in to get groceries in a bad area of town, do I deserve to get my car stolen? No. But how sorry for me are you going to feel when I tell you about it?


Does the thread get some sort prize for making the same false analogy over and over?
 
2012-02-05 03:28:55 PM  

KiplingKat872: This wasn't even a story about hunting the guy down to throw in jail or revenge, but her courage and maturity in dealing with her past. That's why she did not give names. It was about her healing, not destroying him.So why are so many people ready to call her a liar?


Her story does not ring of honesty.

It rings with yet another templated story of girl heroism about the evilness of men as told to hip, edgy, online women's zine.

In that sense it seems commercial and exploitative and a story designed to gain attention for her actions as opposed to generate insightful dialogue about what happened 15 years prior and its relevancy today.

Part and parcel of that is the continuation of threads like this where women and some men will just stand there and insist "no means no, always", "women bear no responsibility for their choices", "and if you disagree you are farking stupid and should not go outside without a handler you dumb farking rape apologizing ugly psycho."
 
2012-02-05 03:29:44 PM  

mgshamster: ChuDogg: What you are describing is a "freeze out " among the pickup artists. Think about, guys that routinely debate the best was to casually score chicks with no romantic involvement: have a word for it.

Holy fark. That's some seriously effed up shiat.


So doing exactly what a woman asks for is "seriously effed up shiat"?

Or are you just noting the irony in the way these guys talk about doing it.

Just to be clear for anybody following this convo: we're talking about a girl saying "no", and the guy listening and calling off the sexual interaction.
 
2012-02-05 03:29:59 PM  
The topic of 'rape' appears to be the 'off switch' of the human brain. Good to know.
 
2012-02-05 03:30:10 PM  
Going to a pool when u cant swim, driving a car at high speed in the rain, going to a bar and causing a fight, selling drugs, and a female who admittedly craves sexual attention going to a secluded place with a bunch of guys are all profoundly stupid.

However, only in the last circumstance are the choices made by the victim not taken into account.
 
2012-02-05 03:30:11 PM  

rubi_con_man: Julie Cochrane: The second time was the time I did everything right. I was in a place and situation that should have been completely safe with a partner who should have been completely safe and I had said in advance, "You absolutely cannot put that appendage in that orifice that way. (dry)" He did it anyway---penetrated. It hurt like bloody hell. He pulled out when I cried out to stop. But I had told him "no" in no uncertain terms and he did it anyway. He shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Wait, you think that being raped by multiple people, beaten, left for dead, bound and gagged is the moral equivalent of your boyfriend sticking the tip of his dick a quarter-inch into your arse when you've made it a no-go zone?

Wow. Yeah, um, you need to stop calling this rape. This is your BF being an ass. I know women who were drugged and left on the side of a highway naked. I know women who were impregnated by babysitters. I know women who were bludgeoned by their spouse into unconsciousness. THEY were raped. You made an error in judgement and let your BF be an arse.

// if you start calling every single thing a guy does in any way that isn't worshipful of you and your vagina 'rape'
/// you're gonna lock up a lot of men.


Don't want him locked up.

And no, not quarter inch, half his dick in my dry butt. When he had an absolutely, emphatically clear "NO."

(Just for reference, when people say "penetration" they usually mean "head inserted," not externally knocking on the door.)

He did it.

And no, it is not the moral equivalent of getting beaten, left for dead, bound and gagged, etc.

Those things are all presented to the jury in a rape trial as aggravating factors. The actual issue of fact at trial is penetration. Did it/didn't it occur. That's the crux of the act that defines the crime itself.

In my case, the matter is settled. I ended the relationship. What happens to him is between him and whatever higher power there may be.

The PTSD from not being safe when and where I should have been absolutely safe? Yeah, that lingers on. Fortunately, the treatments for PTSD have come a long way from what they used to be, but for close to two years I was afraid everywhere, all the time.
 
2012-02-05 03:30:13 PM  

clyph: 14 year old skank gets so shiat-faced on drugs and booze that she blows 3 guys and farks one of them, but Troublesome Strumpet: People: No means no.

And "I was too shiat-faced to remember exactly what happened" means "reasonable doubt".

Did she say no? She thinks she might have, but SHE WAS TOO FARKING STONED to say for sure. Sorry, that you're not a credible witness. Don't be a drugged out little skank, and maybe you won't wind up blowing them all and farking one of them.

Doing something when you're stoned and then regretting it the morning after isn't rape, except in the masturbatory fantasies of feminazis who want to redefine any sex involving a penis as "rape".

Of course it's easier to justify YOUR lack of judgement to say "I was raped" instead of saying "I was a drugged out little slut who'd suck guys cocks if they got me high enough". Playing the rape card is a great way to absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions.


And there's the mysoginst's Gowin's law....
 
2012-02-05 03:31:20 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: The more you eat the more you fart: Thanks...i got that memo already. Perhaps a few women didnt.

Same with the men. This thread is about a woman being raped by a group of men, so that's the direction this discussion is taking. If you don't like that, you're not being forced to read.


No...im not. But neither are you if you dont like what i say.
 
2012-02-05 03:31:32 PM  

Flagg99: namatad: so yes, she ONLY dated abusers. abusers have GREAT skills at picking out victims.
they are so nice and helpful and then BOOM ... back to the same old story ..

thank god I found the best shrink ever who taught me all I need to know
"it is not my problem"
you can help
you can be supportive
but in the end, it is her problem
and she will or will not fix it

/alas and thank god - she moved on so she really isnt my problem.

Sorry but - it's time to take your friend's stories with a grain of salt. It really does sound like sex she regrets. People can indeed work themselves up into a frenzy with physical symptoms. In an earlier post I relayed a story of a friend of mine who was "raped" where even she didn't fully agree, and refused to cooperate with charges against the guy, because they were both drunk.

Well I have another friend who sounds a lot like yours. And between this friend, and one other girl who blatantly lied about rape to get out of admitting to cheating on her BF, it became a real eye opener as to how the word "rape" is used as a weapon.

This girl claims to have been raped - wait for it - 19 times. 19! Every time you talk to her, the number gets a little higher. Because it's pretty much the number of guys shes slept with. And every time one pisses her off, suddenly he's a rapist.

I specifically lost contact with this girl just to be safe; the friendship just was not worth it. But let me tell you - before all this happened, she was trying to get in my pants, and the same can be said of the other guys. It wasn't abusers choosing her, she was choosing guys. And one or two of them were legitimately abusive (borderline) but she would run right out and do that same thing. To the extent where, after ranting on about how she was "not a whore and no one's property" one night she tried giving me a strip tease moments after.

Beyond that, she could seem just as traumatized, and is even on meds for it. She's been to therapy, dropped out of school, and when we first met, I felt a lot of sympathy for her. Then I saw her in action. She would aggressively initiate sexual contact with guys then later claim rape when things didn't turn out the way she wanted it. She saw no problem with it, and was basically a serial victim, only it was a complete sham.

I get that there may have been an initial event that triggered this behaviour - but years or decades later, it is simple not acceptable to allow it to continue and use the past as an excuse.

So yeah, again - take that friend with a grain of salt. One thing I've noticed is that girls like this love a "nice guy" in their lives because they feed off sympathy.



bearsrepeating.jpg
 
2012-02-05 03:31:40 PM  
Fact:

The only consent is enthusiastic consent.
 
2012-02-05 03:33:09 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Occam's Nailfile: Do women feel that they have any responsibility at all to avoid encouraging situations that could lead to them being assaulted?

Reading thread to see the answer to this...


Women can't win in this regard. We're stuck-up, paranoid, non-fun having prudes or we're rape-deserving, skanky whores.

//are all men so dangerous that we should only leave the house with an escort? I know, how about a garment that covers us up completely head to toe, I bet that would stop rape.
///I need to stop reading Fark rape threads.
 
2012-02-05 03:33:17 PM  
She said, "No, let's stop" at least once. That's all that's necessary. It doesn't matter if she was drunk/stoned/whatever, she said NO!


NO MEANS NO!!!

 
2012-02-05 03:34:33 PM  

blondski: All of these comments from women make me wonder if any woman makes it through life with out some sort of creepy ass touching them with out consent.


Honestly, many of us just get to the point where we barely even notice that sort of thing anymore.

I remember being out with my husband one day at a family buffet restaurant with our three kids. Some 40-something-year-old Mexican dude came up behind me on the line, put both of his hands on my hips, and thrust his groin into my butt. I just brushed his hands away and went on about my business, and my husband happened to look up to see me walking away from the guy with an angry look on my face while the guy was chuckling. So when I sat back down he asked me what happened, and I told him. And I was SHOCKED to see the look of rage in his face. I think he would've killed the guy if I hadn't stopped him.

Didn't make it much better when I told him that sort of thing happens a lot, but it does. I've had my breasts, butt, and even crotch grabbed while filling up the car with gas, shopping for groceries, or standing in line at a fast food place. I never really thought much of it until I saw my husband's reaction to it; I always just kind of thought that was normal male behavior.
 
2012-02-05 03:34:34 PM  

RoyBatty: women bear no responsibility for their choices


Who said this? Ever?

This seems to be the logic of the "apologists." Don't condemn the rapist until you've thoroughly acknowledged that she made bad choices. In fact, maybe only give a back handed "bad boy" to the rapist while writing a soliloquy on the shiatty choices she made. No one is even remotely claiming the 14 year-old girl was not acting responsibly. Not a single person said "hey, totally reasonable she went and did that." The fact that this should in any way exonerate her attackers is really the weird thing here. And if you aren't saying that to exonerate them, why are you and others constantly bringing it up?

My issue here is that the evidence that 10% of rape accusations are false to act like now 100% of them are false. She didn't go to the cops. No one's life is being ruined.
 
Displayed 50 of 1237 comments


Oldest | « | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | » | Newest


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report