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(Some Guy)   Woman receives Facebook friend request from the man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She gets the hero tag for how she handled it   (moxiebird.com ) divider line
    More: Hero, rape victims, Facebook, electronic publishing, friend request  
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66149 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2012 at 10:49 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-05 11:13:18 AM  
commented on by one 'Bloughmee'

/all i got
 
2012-02-05 11:13:39 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: /not reading the article


Yet, you feel comfortable saying it was just her getting drunk and regretting it later. The guy admits she said no. Several times.
 
2012-02-05 11:14:00 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: AmorousRedDragon: Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Well, it certainly didn't take long for the Clueless Farkstick Brigade to show up.


People get way too black and white about certain subjects, like rape. The people saying it was a bad idea to be 14, high and drunk and alone with a bunch of (14 year old?) guys are NOT saying she asked for it, or deserved it, or that the guys are less to blame - they are saying it was a bad idea to be 14, high and drunk and alone with a bunch of (14 year old?) guys.

My mother had a bad habit of crossing the street without looking, and when I called her on it, she would say "I'm in a crosswalk, it will be their fault if they hit me." Well, great - you'll be dead, but totally in the right.
 
2012-02-05 11:14:40 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: 06/06/2011


I know this article is older, but I first heard the story on a Pittsburgh public radio station yesterday. They interviewed her. It was absolutely riveting. i was stunned at the way she handled it. I talked about the story to my co-workers and their reaction was like mine. She is a better person than I am. I am male, so I can never completely understand, but I think I would have never been able to do what she did when responding to the friend request. She was definitely my person-of-the-day yesterday.

/Subby
 
2012-02-05 11:15:16 AM  

blondski: I would have never called that guy up to talk. A guy just forced a kiss on me before I kicked him the groin and ran away and even thinking about him makes feel sick to my stomach.


I had one of those, too. Dude was special needs and I felt like I couldn't slap him like I would otherwise. Later I found out he did it a lot and used his disability as a reason you couldn't do anything to him.

I know you can't know how you would react if you haven't been there, but I think if I was raped and the guy friend-requested me, it would end with one or both of us dead. Not in a fairly civil conversation.
 
2012-02-05 11:15:18 AM  

Annoyance: FTA: "but we all know it was to clear his own conscious"

C'mon, really?

/I know this is a 'rape thread', but that caught my eye, and I don't feel like talking about rape.


Yeah, the writer lost me there. This is a farked up story though, I don't really know what to say other than if I had daughters they wouldn't be anywhere near some warehouse.
 
2012-02-05 11:15:25 AM  

AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.


She was 14, maybe the older males made a bad choice in raping a child. Oh,and fark you.
 
2012-02-05 11:15:35 AM  
The rapist deserves some credit for owning up and apologizing.

His side of the story makes sense to me. He really wanted to believe it was consensual, and he convinced himself it was.

That doesn't lessen his guilt.
 
2012-02-05 11:16:24 AM  
It sounds like he got exactly what he wanted out of that conversation. And she got gruesome details of that night.
/now i have to listen to stupid girl by garbage.
//they got a new album coming out in a few months, yay
 
2012-02-05 11:16:35 AM  

gulogulo: Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.


'No. Don't. Stop.'

'No, don't stop.'


Did she hit him upside the head? Did she scratch him? Did she try to get away?
How good was his legal representation, versus hers?
 
2012-02-05 11:16:38 AM  

KiplingKat872: The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.


Sorry, but the world isn't black and white. Too bad so sad that life doesn't fit your simplistic world view.
 
2012-02-05 11:16:42 AM  
3 guys bringing an intoxicated, messed-up 14 year old girl to an isolated area (warehouse), forcing her to give them all oral sex and then one of them raping her vaginally - sounds like gang rape to me.
 
2012-02-05 11:17:04 AM  

KiplingKat872: Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.

The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.

How was this incident not "real rape?" She said "No. Stop." A couple times.

Thanks a lot farkwit, welcome to my ignore list of rape-apologists.


I don't think they should blame the victim. And I do think this was "real rape". BUT... I also believe the guy when he says that he didn't know that at the time. He was probably under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time and not thinking clearly. She was obviously doing this with these other guys as well, and any resistance she provided wasn't very forceful, probably as a direct result of the drugs & alcohol she had. And frankly, when this guy says she was a "messed up kid", he's speaking the truth. A 14-year-old girl getting drunk & high with three guys is a "messed up kid".

He deserves to feel like shiat for what happened, and it WAS clearly a rape. But just because he committed the rape doesn't make him a "rapist". If he did this while not in his right mind (which is what this sounds like), that's an entirely different order of magnitude from what the other two guys were doing. It sounds like THEY were the ones filling her with drugs and dragging her around as a sex slave. He shouldn't have gone along with it. He should've stopped it, or at the very least walked out and refused to participate. But he doesn't bear the same level of guilt as the other guys who were engineering the entire situation.
 
2012-02-05 11:17:10 AM  

morgantx: My rapist tried to friend me on Facebook. I just ignored & blocked.

I ran into him about 3 years after the incident at a ballet class. I was TERRIFIED! He just said, "Are you still mad about what happened a few years ago? That wasn't any big thing." And that was it. That was the closest to an apology that I ever got.

Look, I'm not saying that what this guy did was right. It wasn't. But the fact is that he does actually seem remorseful about it, and he's apologizing about it, and that's more than most of us will ever get.


I think what both those guys need is three years in prison, especially the guy who said it was no big thing.

Hopefully there is less stigma so more girls and women will go to the police. Even if the rapist is not convicted, the more public accusations there are, the more would-be date rapists will think twice. Something to think about.
 
2012-02-05 11:17:23 AM  

Honest Bender: Just a trashed girl with emotional problems


a trashed under age girl....

"was that wrong ? should I not have done that ?"

NO, you SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT, ya freaking RAPIST

Newsflash:
It is not consensual if the person is deemed to not be able to give consent
pretty sure a drugged up under age teen in a warehouse being gang banged is ... a hint that you MIGHT not be doing the right thing.
Sure she made a bad decision - maybe charge her for underage consumption of intoxicants (and seek out where she got it and charge them too). But the guys involved did wrong, should have known better, and should not be allowed/enabled to repeat it.
 
2012-02-05 11:17:56 AM  
This took some serious courage. I never saw the bastard who raped me again. I just wanted to run away like she said at the beginning of the article. We had been dating and he left a couple messages on my machine, pissed off that I was not returning his calls, but I never answered them and quit the place I worked at where we had met. It took me a long time to deal with what happened, and get closure on my own.
 
2012-02-05 11:18:26 AM  

GoodyearPimp: 14 year old girls know everything and will talk your ear off about that fact. Everything except "don't get wasted with a bunch of horny guys".

rapists.
 
2012-02-05 11:18:34 AM  

KiplingKat872: Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.

The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.


Exactly who's the victim, though?

Women are not always victim. It is not the default setting, just as it isn't the default setting for domestic violence cases, IN SPITE of how the law treats it.

Man is not always victimizer. Same deal.

/too many fake claims means i don't automatically buy the status quo
 
2012-02-05 11:19:03 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: If it was a bunch of kids hanging out with one another, and they were all drunk together, that's a different kettle of fish from some chick who got drunk with someone 20 years older than her who could better handle his liquor.


What does this have to do with being raped?

Hanging out with kids one's own age who are also drunk is 'lesser' than hanging out with some older dude who's supposed to know better.

What the hell does this have to do with being raped?

And those two are both different from true stranger rape where someone was abducted and forced, not this 'regretting drunken sex' crap.

Whether or not that is the case, you didn't read the article so you are just making some pretty big assumptions, I'm sure the victims of rape will be glad to know that if they are raped by someone they know, it's not as bad.

because it's all legally rape if you're underage

No it isn't.
 
2012-02-05 11:19:22 AM  

shivashakti: Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.


Uh, I think you're missing a word there. I hope.
 
2012-02-05 11:19:25 AM  
Oh, hey, I just noticed this thread went live. God, I'm not on my game today. So...who wants to start a pool about how many posts will be in this thread? Side bets about how long until the "She was asking for it" arguments start, and when it will get Godwin'd.
 
2012-02-05 11:19:26 AM  
FTFA: "Aside from the awfuldetails about what happened that day, what was hardest for me to stomach was the part where Emily stands up for herself and reminds this man that she said no, and that she said it repeatedly, and yet he passively tells that she didn't do enough to get him to stop."

What actually was said (also FTFA:) "I said no, but I didn't scream or bite or kick because that's not what I knew how to do. I just asked you nicely to stop."

"When I think of my own personal history, and that of my closest friends, I'm reminded of just how prevalent the does-NO-really-mean-no? mindset it with American males."

Too much hyperbole, too much manhate for me to take seriously, and it wasn't the author of this piece, the one so enraged, that was raped. Oh, and her quip about "American males", because of course we invented rape.

Olawdy, that's what I hate with these sorts of articles- the manhate. Always the manhate. It may not have happened to a woman, but there's always a close friend that was (and usually a dubious story, unlike this one), and now said woman will use this incident to attack men.

Then, if you don't come out and scream at the top of your lungs "rape is bad!" and question the situation, or the attitudes of people, folks will ask you "Why do you like rape? Don't you see how bad rape is bad? Rape rape rape rape rape bad". It's so old, so tired.
 
2012-02-05 11:20:07 AM  

morgantx: His judgment wasn't as strong as it should've been, either


That generally does not stand up in court.
"hey judge, Im sorry for taking off my trousers and dancing in the street singing "never gonna give you up, but I was drunk at the time, s'all good right ?"
 
2012-02-05 11:20:33 AM  
I guess she didn't want to go the Lisbeth Salader route. Invite him to a warehouse party. Surprise him with a tazer, his own dog collar and some rape.
 
2012-02-05 11:21:37 AM  

Honest Bender: gulogulo: Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive?

No, I mean the part where she said, "No, let's stop." but then they agreed to keep going. To be honest, based on the extremely sparse "details" of TFA, both our interpretations are plausible.


That's like the chick who claimed some dude raped her............ and at the trial, she said she gave him her phone number! but then she tried to claim she only gave him her phone number because she was scared. Some old bullshiat.

If you want to stop, you need to show you want to stop. Not the passive aggressive mixed signals bullshiat. And definitely not the body language acting in a way counter to 'bare minimum'/legal minimum/plausible deniability mouthings.
 
2012-02-05 11:21:48 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: gulogulo: Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.

'No. Don't. Stop.'

'No, don't stop.'


Did she hit him upside the head? Did she scratch him? Did she try to get away?
How good was his legal representation, versus hers?


No she didn't scratch him or try to get away. She was restrained and in handcuffs.
And for all you morans who say she shouldn't have put herself in that situation: No matter where a woman (or guy) is at, they ALWAYS have the right to say "NO!" and stop. Once she said no, that should have been it. And she said no several times.
 
2012-02-05 11:22:17 AM  

medius: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Hey, dude. It's a Corvette.

Wait...what year?


Why? Are you worried it could be too old?
 
2012-02-05 11:22:38 AM  
I've seen that show a few dozen times over the years.

Emily: I'm a Vick-Tim
Oprah: You go, girl
 
2012-02-05 11:22:52 AM  
WTH is 'penguin head'?

www.penguins.cl
 
2012-02-05 11:24:12 AM  

John Buck 41: WTH is 'penguin head'?


Yes, I also need to know this.

/too much beak?
 
2012-02-05 11:24:19 AM  

morgantx: KiplingKat872: Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.

The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.

How was this incident not "real rape?" She said "No. Stop." A couple times.

Thanks a lot farkwit, welcome to my ignore list of rape-apologists.

I don't think they should blame the victim. And I do think this was "real rape". BUT... I also believe the guy when he says that he didn't know that at the time. He was probably under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time and not thinking clearly. She was obviously doing this with these other guys as well, and any resistance she provided wasn't very forceful, probably as a direct result of the drugs & alcohol she had. And frankly, when this guy says she was a "messed up kid", he's speaking the truth. A 14-year-old girl getting drunk & high with three guys is a "messed up kid".

He deserves to feel like shiat for what happened, and it WAS clearly a rape. But just because he committed the rape doesn't make him a "rapist". If he did this while not in his right mind (which is what this sounds like), that's an entirely different order of magnitude from what the other two guys were doing. It sounds like THEY were the ones filling her with drugs and dragging her around as a sex slave. He shouldn't have gone along with it. He should've stopped it, or at the very least walked out and refused to participate. But he doesn't bear the same level of guilt as the other guys who were engineering the entire situation.


As a guy, Ihave to disagree somewhat. A man who commits any rape is a rapist.

The only doubt comes in when the man may have thought it was consensual and the woman didnt say no. We all know drugs and alcohol can lead to these situations. Rhis sounds like a rape that the guy is trying to rationalize 'you didnt protest enough'
 
2012-02-05 11:24:26 AM  
Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.
 
2012-02-05 11:25:01 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: KiplingKat872: Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.

The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.


Exactly who's the victim, though?

Women are not always victim. It is not the default setting, just as it isn't the default setting for domestic violence cases, IN SPITE of how the law treats it.

Man is not always victimizer. Same deal.

/too many fake claims means i don't automatically buy the status quo


WTF does any of that have to do with this incident other than you grasping at straws to defend rapists?

RTFA.
 
2012-02-05 11:25:51 AM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere:

My mother had a bad habit of crossing the street without looking, and when I called her on it, she would say "I'm in a crosswalk, it will be their fault if they hit me." Well, great - you'll be dead, but totally in the right.


Funny you mention that. I know an acquaintance who feels the same way about other drivers. I was too pissed to laugh when he ended up in an accident. Sure, he was 'in the right'...but his car was also totalled.

--------------------------------

gulogulo: ExperianScaresCthulhu: /not reading the article

Yet, you feel comfortable saying it was just her getting drunk and regretting it later. The guy admits she said no. Several times.


Yeah. It's Fark.
 
2012-02-05 11:26:42 AM  
That's a real sad story. Now what this "penguin head" she speaks of?
 
2012-02-05 11:26:46 AM  

Dafatone: Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.


Yeah. And it's too early for me to start drinking.
 
2012-02-05 11:26:48 AM  
I'm glad she is living a sober life now. She gets the Chuck Norris Award for confronting this low-life. I have represented many alleged rapists. A common thread is they often claim that the girl wanted it. I had one case that I distinctly remember where the girl who "wanted it" was 6 years old. The perp insisted that he didn't have a prior criminal record. I literally stood on my chair and let the printout of his record unfurl-it hit the floor. Some of his prior convictions included animal cruelty. Upon further research I learned that he used to have relations with the family German shepherd. At one point he put the dog's head on a stake a la Vlad the Impaler.

There are some real nut jobs out there who don't belong in society and frankly don't deserve to live.
 
2012-02-05 11:26:53 AM  

Animatronik: morgantx: My rapist tried to friend me on Facebook. I just ignored & blocked.

I ran into him about 3 years after the incident at a ballet class. I was TERRIFIED! He just said, "Are you still mad about what happened a few years ago? That wasn't any big thing." And that was it. That was the closest to an apology that I ever got.

Look, I'm not saying that what this guy did was right. It wasn't. But the fact is that he does actually seem remorseful about it, and he's apologizing about it, and that's more than most of us will ever get.

I think what both those guys need is three years in prison, especially the guy who said it was no big thing.

Hopefully there is less stigma so more girls and women will go to the police. Even if the rapist is not convicted, the more public accusations there are, the more would-be date rapists will think twice. Something to think about.


I have learned over the years to forgive. And in fairness, it's more about ME than it is about THEM. They don't deserve to be forgiven, but I deserve to have peace, and I'm not going to have that if I don't forgive.

So for me, part of that forgiveness has been a matter of acknowledging that there are some mitigating circumstances. Not everybody who raped me (and there were several) was truly a "rapist". Several of them were told by multiple friends, "She likes to play hard to get, but once you get going, she's all into it." And being stupid teenage boys, they believed it. There's a big difference between THAT and between the guy who held me down and raped me despite the fact that I was actively fighting back (THAT'S the guy I ran into in my ballet class).

Frankly, we need to educate men and boys that NO ALWAYS MEANS NO. But - and this is a note to the ladies - we ladies need to be absolutely consistent in enforcing that. And that means that we need to quit playing all these stupid little games. We need to quit "playing hard to get" and just be honest about what we want. And THAT means that we need to stop shaming sexually active women as "sluts" and "whores" just because they openly admit what they want instead of playing these stupid little games in order to get laid.

And once I realized that, I've always made it my policy to address my sexuality openly and encourage others to do the same. So if I see a guy in a bar that I want to fark, I have no qualms about approaching him and saying, "You want to go have a one-night stand?" (Most guys are THRILLED at the openness.) But likewise, when I tell a guy, "No, I'm not interested," I don't sit there are keep flirting with him and making him think he still has a chance. I'm nice. I'm polite. But I'm HONEST about what I want and what I don't want. And if every woman was as open and honest, then we could make it MUCH easier for men to tell the difference between a woman who's truly saying no and a woman who's "playing hard to get".

But men? Err on the side of caution. If you want women who will openly address their sexual desires with you, you have to stop rewarding women for playing these stupid little games. So if she says, "No," and you're 99% sure that she's just playing hard to get, walk away. Boycott manipulative women, and train women to be open about their sexual desires. Then maybe in our children's generation, we won't have this problem, because "no" will REALLY mean "no" 100% of the time, and there will be no confusion about what a woman wants, and then everybody can get laid happily, consensually, and frequently!
 
2012-02-05 11:27:39 AM  

Chinchillazilla: Yeah. And it's too early for me to start drinking.


It's Super Bowl Sunday. That makes it mandatory to start drinking early.
 
2012-02-05 11:27:52 AM  
Welcome to my ignore list with the note "rape apologist, hope he's trolling", HonestBender. I don't know why you feel compelled to white knight for a rapist.

When someone is saying "No, stop", how can you not respect the fact that they're not consenting to whatever you're doing? No means no.

Additionally, when someone is intoxicated, it becomes even more important to establish consent. It doesn't lessen the responsibility of the other person. It increases it.

So yes, this was "real rape".
 
2012-02-05 11:28:14 AM  
I just ignored my first Farker. Never thought it would happen. Way to go Jojo!
 
2012-02-05 11:28:22 AM  

Slartibartfaster: Honest Bender: Just a trashed girl with emotional problems

a trashed under age girl....


Her age has nothing to do with whether or not it was consensual. And I don't mean legally consensual because bla bla bla, she's underage, can't legally consent.

What I meant was she was trashed (maybe contributed to her making some bad decisions, such as having sex with these obvious losers) and emotionally unstable (maybe later came to regret what she did so now it's "rape").

But, like I mentioned up thread, TFA is sparse on details. So it's hard to tell where exactly on the spectrum of reality this all falls on. Was this a poor innocent 14 y/o girl who was tragically taken advantage of? Or was this a 14 y/o girl who decided to get trashed, timidly allowed herself to be taken advantage of, and then decided she didn't like it after the fact?

Either extreme is a pretty messed up, illegal situation. If nothing else, her age makes any of the possible scenarios rape. All I'm trying to point out is that we don't have enough info to make much of a judgement call here and demonizing the dude as a predatory rapist is a bit premature.
 
2012-02-05 11:29:26 AM  

morgantx: just because he committed the rape doesn't make him a "rapist"


WORST....DEFENCE....CLOSING.............EVAR!

morgantx: He was probably under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time and not thinking clearly


Don't know about the US but in the UK that's no kind of defence.

Willingly intoxicate yourself and then commit a crime? Good luck using self-intoxication as a defence.

OK, in HIS mind he might not be as guilty as the other two guys (assuming that it went down in the way you are suggesting) but he is just as much of a rapist as them and just as guilty. The reduced level of awareness just might reduce his sentence compared with what his friends received.

In the UK there was the case of DPP v Morgan, where a senior RAF officer persuaded several junior officers that his wife was into "kinky sex" and that no matter how much she said "no" it was all part of a game. It wasn't a game and she wasn't consenting. Even though the junior officers (apparently) believed that she WAS consenting and just pretending that she wasn't, they were still liable for rape.

Bottom line - doesn't matter if you're drunk or tricked or whatever, if you don't have a reasonable and honest belief that the woman is consenting then you are raping her. If you believe she consents but your mind is muddled with drugs, the belief is not reasonable.
 
2012-02-05 11:29:27 AM  
ahhh what a passive aggressive way to treat the situation. Instead of yelling at this cacksucker, and tell him to stay the fark away from her, she prints this and knows that D or all of her attackers will read it.
/i'm sure that'll put em in their place
 
2012-02-05 11:29:33 AM  

Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.


As a male, I'd just like to point out that you're an asshole. She said no. End of story. Anything that happened after was rape. Period. Quit making excuses for a rapist.
 
2012-02-05 11:29:45 AM  

ChimbleySweep: serial_crusher: a 15 year old raping a 14 year old isn't quite as bad as a 25 year old raping a 14 year old.

How do you figure?


The perpetrator is at least as immature as the victim, considering that teenage girls mature sooner than boys.

Quoting an article about the Supreme Court decision that banned capital punishment for juveniles, 'An amicus brief filed by the AMA and seven others asserted that, in adolescent development, the frontal lobes of the teen brain-the region that helps curb impulses, make plans and weigh risks-are "one of the last parts of the brain to reach maturity.'"
 
2012-02-05 11:31:00 AM  
So a drug addicted girl hangs out with drug addicted guys and bad things happen?

Well color me SHOCKED.

The guy is a douche, and the girl sounds like a complete biatch, willing to blame anybody but herself for making piss poor decisions that have sure dire consequences.
 
2012-02-05 11:31:33 AM  
Take a look at TFA and think again.

I DO NOT condone rape and firmly understand NO MEANS NO. However,

The author bring the victim has illustrated in writing her slant on what happened 10 years ago while drunk and stoned.

Surely it traumatized her but I wonder how much of her trauma was caused by suggestive therapy where the therapist injects bad memories.

Shame has a way to make you feel traumatized by others talking about it after the fact.

My gaydar went off when I looked at the author's photo. She's a lesbian now...and this also gave her closure for a bad hetero episode with multiple men.

Was it rape? IF she said no, it was. IF she was fantasizing about a sausage fest in a drunken stupor, not so much. She's definitely not a prude by any means.

/on mobile..sorry if there are spelling errors.
 
2012-02-05 11:32:15 AM  
ArkAngel: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.


You sound like a rapist.
 
2012-02-05 11:32:31 AM  

Dafatone: Christ this thread is filled with assholes.

No means no.


Thank you.

Also:
Alcohol doesn't "make you" do anything you didn't already have the capacity and at least a slight inclination to do. The "I was drunk" defense doesn't make you any less of an asshole rapist.

youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com
 
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