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(Some Guy)   Woman receives Facebook friend request from the man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She gets the hero tag for how she handled it   (moxiebird.com) divider line 1264
    More: Hero, rape victims, Facebook, electronic publishing, friend request  
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66117 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2012 at 10:49 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-05 06:41:07 AM
That was hard to read- but bravo to her for confronting him when she had the chance.

I'd think about doing that myself, but I'd probably just tell the guy he's a waste of flesh and resources.

People: No means no.
 
2012-02-05 07:29:21 AM
Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.
 
2012-02-05 07:55:27 AM

AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.


Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.
 
2012-02-05 08:05:13 AM

LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.


I'm glad she got closure.
 
2012-02-05 08:30:38 AM

AbbeySomeone: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

I'm glad she got closure.


Yeesh, but I couldn't make it through that. It's been harder for me to watch or read stuff like that since having two daughters.
 
2012-02-05 08:33:07 AM

LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.


Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.
 
2012-02-05 08:34:09 AM

ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.


Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.
 
2012-02-05 08:39:02 AM

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.


I'm not saying it's not the crimes are similar, I'm saying the situations are.
 
2012-02-05 08:56:22 AM
Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.
 
2012-02-05 08:59:37 AM
Stomach turner.
 
2012-02-05 09:01:22 AM

PizzaJedi81: AbbeySomeone: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

I'm glad she got closure.

Yeesh, but I couldn't make it through that. It's been harder for me to watch or read stuff like that since having two daughters.


Teach them to be aware and avoid situations that aren't safe.

shivashakti: Wow. As someone who has raped, that really hit home with me. I admire her bravery in confronting him.


You're a rapist?
 
2012-02-05 09:04:04 AM

PizzaJedi81: Gang raping a 14 year old girl


TFA doesn't specify how old the dude was at the time. I mean, I'm not saying it justifies anything, but a 15 year old raping a 14 year old isn't quite as bad as a 25 year old raping a 14 year old.

Also, this article is a repeat.
 
2012-02-05 09:05:27 AM

AbbeySomeone:
You're a rapist?


HAHAHA! Whoops..that's a hell of a typo. No, no..someone who has BEEN raped.
 
2012-02-05 09:10:08 AM

shivashakti: As someone who has raped,


wtf am I reading?
 
2012-02-05 09:12:07 AM

shivashakti: AbbeySomeone:
You're a rapist?

HAHAHA! Whoops..that's a hell of a typo. No, no..someone who has BEEN raped.


That was most unfortunate.
 
2012-02-05 09:12:30 AM

vudukungfu: wtf am I reading?


Apparently, not the whole thread.. =^)
 
2012-02-05 09:17:03 AM

AbbeySomeone: That was most unfortunate.


Hahahaha. Yes, it was. What can I say? I'm still on my first cup of coffee.
 
2012-02-05 09:48:18 AM

ArkAngel: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

I'm not saying it's not the crimes are similar, I'm saying the situations are.


Mmmmm...still going to have to disagree, hombre. There is a scale to crimes, and property crime is always going to be lower than crimes against persons, no matter the situation.
 
2012-02-05 09:49:43 AM
06/06/2011
 
2012-02-05 09:55:20 AM

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

I'm not saying it's not the crimes are similar, I'm saying the situations are.

Mmmmm...still going to have to disagree, hombre. There is a scale to crimes, and property crime is always going to be lower than crimes against persons, no matter the situation.


Morally but not legally, and it's very wrong.
 
2012-02-05 10:20:25 AM
dtdstudios.com
 
2012-02-05 10:53:45 AM

serial_crusher: a 15 year old raping a 14 year old isn't quite as bad as a 25 year old raping a 14 year old.


How do you figure?
 
2012-02-05 10:57:13 AM
14 year old girls know everything and will talk your ear off about that fact. Everything except "don't get wasted with a bunch of horny guys".
 
2012-02-05 10:58:34 AM

AmorousRedDragon: Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.


Well, it certainly didn't take long for the Clueless Farkstick Brigade to show up.
 
2012-02-05 10:59:14 AM
FTA: "but we all know it was to clear his own conscious"

C'mon, really?

/I know this is a 'rape thread', but that caught my eye, and I don't feel like talking about rape.
 
2012-02-05 11:00:45 AM

Annoyance: FTA: "but we all know it was to clear his own conscious"

C'mon, really?

/I know this is a 'rape thread', but that caught my eye, and I don't feel like talking about rape.


I have a clear conscious. My conscience is party cloudy, though.

/You said "rape" twice
 
2012-02-05 11:00:57 AM
Anyone have a TL;DR of that article? I think the writer had an epileptic seizure while typing it.
 
2012-02-05 11:01:39 AM

ChimbleySweep: How do you figure?


I was taken aback by that statement myself. I think Mona Lisa Vito's statement about deer hunting could be altered to fit that kind of position.

Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM! A farkin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fark what kind of pants the son of a biatch who shot you was wearing?

As in, who gives a fark how old the guy was.
 
2012-02-05 11:02:07 AM

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.


Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.
 
2012-02-05 11:02:17 AM
Good for her. I'm glad she got some closure. It can be important for things like this. I didn't react the same.

However, my situation was a little different. I can clearly remember everything, and it wasn't a one-off thing like hers was. He contacted me after I got back in town. I remember telling him I had forgiven him for everything he'd done (considering the last few years of my life, that's actually one of the easier things I've dealt with), but that I was simply too swamped with life to explore a friendship with him. I haven't heard from him since, and I hope I don't. I've made the decision to be welcoming and friendly to him, even if he steps foot in my church, though I may have a word with a few of the parents.
 
2012-02-05 11:02:57 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Well, it certainly didn't take long for the Clueless Farkstick Brigade to show up.


Seems to take less and less time each month.
 
2012-02-05 11:03:02 AM

LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.


No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.
 
2012-02-05 11:04:11 AM
I would have never called that guy up to talk. A guy just forced a kiss on me before I kicked him the groin and ran away and even thinking about him makes feel sick to my stomach.
 
2012-02-05 11:04:59 AM

PizzaJedi81: AbbeySomeone: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

I'm glad she got closure.

Yeesh, but I couldn't make it through that. It's been harder for me to watch or read stuff like that since having two daughters.


yea... I used to be pretty emotionally detatched from things that didn't happen to someone i actually knew, but now that I have a daughter... I had to skim most of that.
 
2012-02-05 11:05:26 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Yeah, if that's what happened. Not clear from the call and the recollections that's what happened. At least not with the guy she's talking to.


Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.
 
2012-02-05 11:06:01 AM

Honest Bender: No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.


Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive? His regret and ignorance doesn't mean he is in the clear either.
 
2012-02-05 11:06:39 AM

Peki: Good for her. I'm glad she got some closure. It can be important for things like this. I didn't react the same.

However, my situation was a little different. I can clearly remember everything, and it wasn't a one-off thing like hers was. He contacted me after I got back in town. I remember telling him I had forgiven him for everything he'd done (considering the last few years of my life, that's actually one of the easier things I've dealt with), but that I was simply too swamped with life to explore a friendship with him. I haven't heard from him since, and I hope I don't. I've made the decision to be welcoming and friendly to him, even if he steps foot in my church, though I may have a word with a few of the parents.


This is one of the stupider things I've ever read.
 
2012-02-05 11:07:24 AM
My rapist tried to friend me on Facebook. I just ignored & blocked.

I ran into him about 3 years after the incident at a ballet class. I was TERRIFIED! He just said, "Are you still mad about what happened a few years ago? That wasn't any big thing." And that was it. That was the closest to an apology that I ever got.

Look, I'm not saying that what this guy did was right. It wasn't. But the fact is that he does actually seem remorseful about it, and he's apologizing about it, and that's more than most of us will ever get.
 
2012-02-05 11:08:09 AM
She's the one with bigger balls in that conversation. Hero tag is earned here.
 
2012-02-05 11:08:41 AM

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.


What if someone raped the car?
 
2012-02-05 11:08:51 AM

PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.


Hey, dude. It's a Corvette.

Wait...what year?
 
2012-02-05 11:08:55 AM
I can't imagine talking with or forgiving a rapist if it had happened to me. Maybe just to get enough information to damage his life somehow.

Not having been in that situation, though, I wouldn't presume to know what would be more fulfilling for the victim. All I can say is that if she ended up feeling like she'd won, that's good enough.
 
2012-02-05 11:09:25 AM

danvon: ChimbleySweep: How do you figure?

I was taken aback by that statement myself. I think Mona Lisa Vito's statement about deer hunting could be altered to fit that kind of position.

Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM! A farkin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fark what kind of pants the son of a biatch who shot you was wearing?

As in, who gives a fark how old the guy was.


If it was a bunch of kids hanging out with one another, and they were all drunk together, that's a different kettle of fish from some chick who got drunk with someone 20 years older than her who could better handle his liquor. Hanging out with kids one's own age who are also drunk is 'lesser' than hanging out with some older dude who's supposed to know better.

And those two are both different from true stranger rape where someone was abducted and forced, not this 'regretting drunken sex' crap. Yeah, she was underage, and that works in her favor, because it's all legally rape if you're underage, but how often was she getting blackout drunk in the first place?

/not reading the article
 
2012-02-05 11:09:27 AM

medius: PizzaJedi81: ArkAngel: Leaving the keys in the ignition of my Corvette in South Central LA doesn't mean I deserve to get my car stolen, it means I contributed to it happening by doing something unwise.

Gang raping a 14 year old girl is at least an order of magnitude greater than stealing a car, though.

Hey, dude. It's a Corvette.

Wait...what year?


Okay, I may be going to hell, but I laughed.
 
2012-02-05 11:10:56 AM
/remembering when the Palin kid accused Levi, father of her child, of raping her after drinking some wine coolers together, in her book................. and then she tried to take it back, but not really
 
2012-02-05 11:11:10 AM

gulogulo: Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive?


No, I mean the part where she said, "No, let's stop." but then they agreed to keep going. To be honest, based on the extremely sparse "details" of TFA, both our interpretations are plausible.
 
2012-02-05 11:12:09 AM

Honest Bender: LadyHawke: AmorousRedDragon: Abuse of alcohol and drugs made it difficult for her to distinctly and positively confirm what she recalled.

Maybe the whole idea of getting trashed with 3 older males alone in some warehouse wasn't the best choice.

Yes, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped.

No it doesn't. But it might mean it wasn't rape. Regret != rape. TFA makes it sound like the guy didn't really know it was rape. Just a trashed girl with emotional problems.

That said, real rape is a terrible thing. Men, I know it's difficult, but try and not switch your brain off entirely when you get hard. Ladies, try not to put yourself in these kinds of situations.


The exact "blame the victim" mentality that contributes to this crap happening.

How was this incident not "real rape?" She said "No. Stop." A couple times.

Thanks a lot farkwit, welcome to my ignore list of rape-apologists.
 
2012-02-05 11:12:47 AM

Honest Bender: gulogulo: Really? Like when he admitted she said "No, let's stop," several times and then became emotionally unresponsive?

No, I mean the part where she said, "No, let's stop." but then they agreed to keep going. To be honest, based on the extremely sparse "details" of TFA, both our interpretations are plausible.


And I hate to say it, but he was under the influence, too. His judgment wasn't as strong as it should've been, either.
 
2012-02-05 11:13:01 AM
I only have a couple problems with this article. The first is she should have outed the creep with his full name. Why protect his identity? And this is going to be a classic thread for trolls and trolling this is really the mark of a low life.
 
2012-02-05 11:13:15 AM

PizzaJedi81: Not touching on repressed memories/memory recovery, which I know is tricky and not the most reliable thing in the world, but it seemed from TFA that he all but admitted it, and, not wanting any of the blame, tried to play the "I didn't know it wasn't consensual!" card a little thick, which makes me doubt the veracity of his statements. It seemed, to me, like he was confirming her story.


Either he's not being truthful- with himself, her, maybe both of them- or he's the stupidest person who ever lived. Leashed, collared, handcuffed little girl, who says "Stop" and becomes unresponsive in the wake of her attack. In what world does any of that suggest consent? No, he knows he participated in a rape.
 
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