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(NYPost)   Having solved all other crimes, Staten Island cops now cracking down on the evil malcontents who park outside the lines   (nypost.com) divider line 98
    More: Asinine, Staten Island  
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4087 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2012 at 10:22 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-04 10:13:11 AM
To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.
 
2012-02-04 10:23:45 AM
In before the meter maid hate
 
2012-02-04 10:24:08 AM
(imokaywiththis.jpg)
 
2012-02-04 10:24:25 AM
Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

Agreed. Asinine tag is for people who can't park.
 
2012-02-04 10:25:32 AM
Little known fact: everyone who lives in Staten Island is an asshole.

Okay, I'm exaggerating, just 95% of them are.
 
2012-02-04 10:27:01 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-02-04 10:27:38 AM
downtown -

You were right the first time.
 
2012-02-04 10:32:51 AM
are meter maids normally part of the crime solving process in NY?
 
2012-02-04 10:33:05 AM
Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

I agree, people who double park are arrogant pricks. Parking between the lines is not that hard. Probably was a recurring problem and the supervisors told them to go zero tolerance.
 
2012-02-04 10:33:32 AM
Jackie Pucci Approves of this Link (new window)
 
2012-02-04 10:34:14 AM
As a parking crusader I applaud their efforts

i43.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-04 10:38:49 AM
About damn time, people who cant park should be fined. As for those who double park because of their pretty car, I park reeeally close to them.
 
2012-02-04 10:38:55 AM
Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

To be fair, while I do heartily concur, there are times when the lines are too small for even a standard sedan and the car next to you has gone over the line, forcing you to go over the line as well. Also, again, for spots too small, how does one determine what the minimum "outside the lines" is for a violation?
 
2012-02-04 10:38:59 AM
Desmo: As a parking crusader I applaud their efforts

[i43.photobucket.com image 500x384]


I keep a valve stem remover for people like ....u give those little jokers 3/4 of a turn out ...on all 4 tires....makes my swell just thinking about it ....
 
2012-02-04 10:40:24 AM
imgs.xkcd.com

Alt text: Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.
 
2012-02-04 10:41:10 AM
I've heard al quaeda operatives like to park outside the lines.

/Staten Island: A hotbed of terra and awful decorating taste.
 
2012-02-04 10:42:04 AM
bedspread: Desmo: As a parking crusader I applaud their efforts

[i43.photobucket.com image 500x384]

I keep a valve stem remover for people like ....u give those little jokers 3/4 of a turn out ...on all 4 tires....makes my swell just thinking about it ....


They pull straight out with needle nosed pliers. It's harder to fix that way.

thirdful: About damn time, people who cant park should be fined. As for those who double park because of their pretty car, I park reeeally close to them.

I used to do this, when my car was a piece of junk and I didn't care what they did. I had to climb out through the back window once.
 
2012-02-04 10:43:41 AM
Desmo: As a parking crusader I applaud their efforts

[i43.photobucket.com image 500x384]


I would welcome the "learn to park or be towed , this means YOU" signs
 
2012-02-04 10:44:42 AM
bedspread: I keep a valve stem remover for people like ....u give those little jokers 3/4 of a turn out ...on all 4 tires....makes my swell just thinking about it ....

Tire deflators, now in handy keychain style:

sunperformanceusa.com

/letting the air out isn't 'vandalism' the way removing valve stems is
 
2012-02-04 10:46:03 AM
Probably the same kids who couldn't color worth a damn
 
ows
2012-02-04 10:46:24 AM
rev-en-ue

like the lord of the rings guy saying po-ta-tos
 
2012-02-04 10:47:16 AM
Desmo: As a parking crusader I applaud their efforts

[i43.photobucket.com image 500x384]


One time in college I couldn't find parking and their was an asshole doing this. I used the claws of my framing hammer to "key" his car. Just about stripped one side in about 15 seconds
 
2012-02-04 10:48:16 AM
 
2012-02-04 10:58:32 AM
m.chanarchive.org
 
2012-02-04 11:05:26 AM
Don't park like an asshole. How'bout that?
 
2012-02-04 11:06:55 AM
fredklein: bedspread: I keep a valve stem remover for people like ....u give those little jokers 3/4 of a turn out ...on all 4 tires....makes my swell just thinking about it ....

Tire deflators, now in handy keychain style:

[sunperformanceusa.com image 350x230]

/letting the air out isn't 'vandalism' the way removing valve stems is


That is why i said turn it about 3/4 of a turn ..that way the air will come out slowly ..they will have the flat on the side of the road..which adds stress and money to the bill ....plus u get the added bonus of not having to squat next to a car for 20 min with the sides of air rushing from a tire ....a quick turn of the wrist and u are away ..no visible tampering..and u are long gone when the deal goes down ..
 
2012-02-04 11:08:37 AM
Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.
 
2012-02-04 11:12:18 AM
iheartscotch: Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.


or ..sense u are the one with the nice truck and wants to keep it that way ..park in all those empty spots a mile from the store entrance ...why are u so special that u need 2 spots close to the front ? WTF do u think u are ?
 
2012-02-04 11:14:02 AM
I hate headlines like this.

Why are the cops going after rapists when there are murderers on the loose amirite?
 
2012-02-04 11:15:10 AM
I used to live at an apartment complex where one of the people living there owned a really nice, fancy sports care. He always double parked so no one would scratch his car. However, I never minded it because there was plenty of parking in the lot for the complex and he always took the farthest two spots away.

Never met the guy/gal, but I figured they must be pretty awesome.
 
2012-02-04 11:15:40 AM
Im a traffic engineer and I can honestly say that yes those limit lines and t's are there for a reason. Tickets are deserved on this one.
 
2012-02-04 11:16:21 AM
iheartscotch: Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.


Because Jesus took America away from the brown people for your right to be an asshole!

Amen.
 
2012-02-04 11:17:12 AM
Having just been blocked in by a douchetard parking over their line, an inch from my mirror, I applaud this.
 
2012-02-04 11:17:42 AM
Desmo: As a parking crusader I applaud their efforts

[i43.photobucket.com image 500x384]


People that park like that need to have their douchemobiles turned into metal cubes.

[not so csb]
Saw one of those douchemobile pick-up trucks (full 4 door cab, extended wide bed, 4 rear wheeled monster, slightly lifted) parked at Home Despot once. It was parked across SIX parking spaces. As I was getting ready to leave, the owner (a woman) puts a single bag of potting soil in the truck's bed. When you have a tiny penis, you need something big. So, I guess that when you have NO penis, you need something even bigger. I was quite amazed that she didn't run into or over anything as she pulled away.
[/nscsb]

/you now have 10 minutes to move your metal cube
 
2012-02-04 11:18:40 AM
Heh. My first gripe when i work at our downtown location, because I usually end up having to park on the upper levels due to all the dumbasses who can't properly fit their Escalades and suburbans into the "compact parking only" spaces, or have to double space their "antique" 78 Regals to avoid getting their doors dinked by other inconsiderate parkers.

On the flip side, I had popped out to lunch only to discover that my spot had been taken when I returned. Not wanting to use the parking garage (got a nice 15" scratch down the side of it on my 3rd day of ownership parking there), and having a relatively tiny car, I found a spot where I could parallel park in front of two supply cubicles that had been taking up 4 parking slots for months. With a little fanaggling I was able to squeeze my car in perfectly (enough so that my car was out of traffic and cleared the cars on either side)- it was truly a masterpiece both in parking and usage of available space.

This was not to be the case, however when as I was to return to my car later that evening.

It seems that in my absence, the workcrew that had been working on our hospital had packed up all their gear (including the two aforementioned cubicles) and had moved on. What they left in their wake was appearntly some asshat that had obviously been making some sort of political statement by parking his little rice burner across two spaces, perpendicular no less, in what would be normallyconsidered an over crowded parking lot.

And flapping in the breeze was a pink parking ticket, for all the departing staff to see, were these four words boldly written in Sharpie marker "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!"

/csb
//we had a good laugh about it down at the security office
//not so much with upper level management
 
2012-02-04 11:19:26 AM
God hates war
And God hates crime
But he really hates people
Who park outside the lines

/apologies to the dead milkmen
 
2012-02-04 11:21:09 AM
bedspread: iheartscotch: Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.

or ..sense u are the one with the nice truck and wants to keep it that way ..park in all those empty spots a mile from the store entrance ...why are u so special that u need 2 spots close to the front ? WTF do u think u are ?


I do park further away; I live in what you may call flyover country, so there really are 100 spots closer. I'm so special because I'm not a mouth breathing, knuckle dragging troglodyte; unlike some people.
 
2012-02-04 11:26:29 AM
crab66: iheartscotch: Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.

Because Jesus took America away from the brown people for your right to be an asshole!

Amen.


I never said I wasn't an asshole; Jesus taking America away from brown people? I'm pretty sure that Jesus had nothing to do with that. In fact; I'm pretty sure it was white Anglo-Saxon Protestants that are responsible for that.

/ still taking up 2 spots
 
2012-02-04 11:31:52 AM
iheartscotch: bedspread: iheartscotch: Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.

or ..sense u are the one with the nice truck and wants to keep it that way ..park in all those empty spots a mile from the store entrance ...why are u so special that u need 2 spots close to the front ? WTF do u think u are ?

I do park further away; I live in what you may call flyover country, so there really are 100 spots closer. I'm so special because I'm not a mouth breathing, knuckle dragging troglodyte; unlike some people.


Sure sound like a mouth breather. Pull that shiat in non-flyover country and don't be surprised if you get keyed on the basis of being a mouth breather.
 
2012-02-04 11:35:49 AM
APE992: iheartscotch: bedspread: iheartscotch: Javacrucian: To be fair, people who can't park inside the painted lines deserve to be curb stomped like the inconsiderate dullards they are.

Hey, I'd rather double park then have some inconsiderate tard ding up my truck. Besides, there's 100 different spots besides the 2 I'm takeing up. Maybe, you can walk a little; it won't kill you.

/ my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way
// I know; I'm a horrible person for having the nerve to suggest that walking is good for you.

or ..sense u are the one with the nice truck and wants to keep it that way ..park in all those empty spots a mile from the store entrance ...why are u so special that u need 2 spots close to the front ? WTF do u think u are ?

I do park further away; I live in what you may call flyover country, so there really are 100 spots closer. I'm so special because I'm not a mouth breathing, knuckle dragging troglodyte; unlike some people.

Sure sound like a mouth breather. Pull that shiat in non-flyover country and don't be surprised if you get keyed on the basis of being a mouth breather.


Ok; have fun with that; I hear that destruction of property is a crime; even on the coast. Give big bubba my regards when you get to hang out with him in jail.
 
2012-02-04 11:37:05 AM
the opposite of charity is justice: God hates war
And God hates crime
But he really hates people
Who park outside the lines

/apologies to the dead milkmen


I'm sure Roger Waters feelings weren't hurt to badly in the process either.
 
2012-02-04 11:37:16 AM
At Home Depot and Lowes they have spots that barely fit full sized trucks, which is kind of odd to me. It is hard to fit a sheet of plywood or drywall into a Fiat 500.

Mine is not a dually, has the factory suspension and exhaust, and has the same sized tires it came with. I did upgrade the front brake pads so they stop a little bit better.
 
2012-02-04 11:38:33 AM
Just shut up and pay up your taxes fines because we need to finance roads, schools, socially correct puppet shows, salamander nurseries, smoking cessation activities and exorbitant government employee pension/benefit plans.
 
2012-02-04 11:39:35 AM
iheartscotch: my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way

How do you keep a truck pristine?

/ You don't carry anything in it bigger than your fat ass
// "In the commercial it climbs over mountains of boulders! I NEED that!!"
 
2012-02-04 11:40:51 AM
If you park across the lines at the abandoned edge of the lot, I can't see much problem with that. I guess it's from necessity. Trying to pull that shiat with your Porsche right in front of the store is a guaranteed keying.
 
2012-02-04 11:46:23 AM
At the risk of playing Devil's Advocate, living in a northern state which receives quite a bit of frost during the winter, it isn't always easy to see painted lines of a parking lot when arriving to work during pre-dawn hours.

With that said, I intentionally park inches away from clowns who miss during their parking attempts and think their parking job was satisfactory.


/drives a beat up 80s Jeep
//won't notice another ding
 
2012-02-04 11:47:26 AM
TheGreatGazoo: At Home Depot and Lowes they have spots that barely fit full sized trucks, which is kind of odd to me. It is hard to fit a sheet of plywood or drywall into a Fiat 500.

Mine is not a dually, has the factory suspension and exhaust, and has the same sized tires it came with. I did upgrade the front brake pads so they stop a little bit better.


Real contractors steer clear of those places as they are mainly open for the convenience of the HGTV and DIY crowd- hence the hobbyist in a Fiat 500 sized parking spaces instead of the "Gotta have this 1200 sq ft deck by noon so i can get back and get enough cement to pour my footers" type proffesional sized parking spaces you so richly deserve.

I keed...sorta.
 
2012-02-04 11:50:30 AM
I hate how in the winter everyone suddenly becomes parking regarded. Omfg! There is snow on the ground! I'll just park over here in the middle of the isle!!
 
2012-02-04 11:52:29 AM
jaytkay: iheartscotch: my truck is still as nice as the day I bought it; and it's gonna stay that way

How do you keep a truck pristine?

/ You don't carry anything in it bigger than your fat ass
// "In the commercial it climbs over mountains of boulders! I NEED that!!"


You keep a truck nice by taking care of it. I regularly haul trailers, and I regularly pick up pallets of stuff. I actually use my truck for it's intended purpose. So, swing and a miss.

/ I'm pretty sure that's a jeep commercial you are thinking of; truck != jeep
 
2012-02-04 11:53:17 AM
enforcerpsu: I hate how in the winter everyone suddenly becomes parking regarded. Omfg! There is snow on the ground! I'll just park over here in the middle of the isle!!

Damnit. Aisle.
 
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