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(Ohio.com) Dumbass A new frontrunner for Douche of the Year emerges as a 20-year-old steals a 6-year-old's lunchbox. At gunpoint   (ohio.com) divider line 89
More: Dumbass, Douche of the Year, lunchbox, douches, bench trial, frontrunners, guilty verdicts  
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11697 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2012 at 12:06 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:02:17 AM
Well, was it at least a really cool lunchbox?
 
libranoelrose [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:08:37 AM
Farking dart player.
 
Don't Troll Me Bro! [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:09:06 AM
Sounds like a really tough guy.
 
shanrick [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:09:25 AM
What's his fark handle?
 
unicron702
2012-02-04 12:10:04 AM
It's Akron, the lunchbox has 2 keys of blow in it.
 
JasonOfOrillia
2012-02-04 12:10:05 AM
... was a 6-year-old boy's lunch box.

... after Nurse and three accomplices

Quite the criminal organization there.
 
Fista-Phobia
2012-02-04 12:11:01 AM
libranoelrose: Farking dart player.

This. That dude is instant hall of fame material. 6 pages?
 
zez
2012-02-04 12:13:15 AM
He was being a cocksucker, and you can quote me on that
 
KilaKitu
2012-02-04 12:13:36 AM
It's outrageous that any Nurse would do such a thing....what's the world coming to??
 
fusillade762
2012-02-04 12:16:07 AM
20 + 6 minutes to the gym...
 
belhade
2012-02-04 12:16:24 AM
Hellooooo nurse!
 
evaned
2012-02-04 12:17:43 AM
To be fair, it's not like he pointed a gun at the kid and stole it. He robbed a house and that was just one of the things he took -- from the sound of the article, the kid wasn't even there.

Not that he's not a douche, but this sounds pretty much like your typical, run-of-the-mill armed robber to me. Maybe with strange tastes, but whatever.

We see plenty of robbery stories here on fark about copper thieves, or wasn't there a story about an Einstein who stole a rare coin collection and put it in a Coinstar or something? Those are way more douchy.
 
Slartibartfaster
2012-02-04 12:17:52 AM
zez: He was being a cocksucker, and you can quote me on that

Love that quote, enjoyed and know the context

but .... Im failing to see how that is an insult (Ive never been anything other than grateful or mildly annoyed and advising to said group of people, those that cocksuck should be celebrated and enjoyed)
 
libranoelrose [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:18:13 AM
Fista-Phobia: libranoelrose: Farking dart player.

This. That dude is instant hall of fame material. 6 pages?

zez: He was being a cocksucker, and you can quote me on that

Heh.
 
Greystoke
2012-02-04 12:21:34 AM
shanrick: What's his fark handle?

If I had to guess... "Terrell D. Nurse"
 
elbows_deep_silent_queef
2012-02-04 12:22:41 AM
It's the gas company.
 
Valarius
2012-02-04 12:25:28 AM
I can't be bothered to read the article.

If this was just a regular robbery (in a legal term, meaning a burglary when people are home) then he takes his chances and might get shot.

If this was a guy who actually pointed a gun at a kid that was no threat to him in any way, then kill him.
 
umad
2012-02-04 12:27:49 AM
6 years for armed robbery? Gotta keep room for the druggies I guess.
 
four95
2012-02-04 12:31:09 AM
If it was one of these, I would give the guy a pass.

But only if the thermos came with it...

p2.la-img.com

images1.fanpop.com

www.dukesonline.com
 
DarkSoulNoHope
2012-02-04 12:32:10 AM
FirstNationalBastard: Well, was it at least a really cool lunchbox?

It was a Captain Picard lunchbox, finger point and "Engage" all on the box. As awesome as it could be.
 
zez
2012-02-04 12:34:49 AM
four95: If it was one of these, I would give the guy a pass.

But only if the thermos came with it...

[bunch of lunchboxes.jpg]

Why don't they make things like that anymore? I hate picking out the years lunchbox with my kid because they all suck. All insulated bags and stuff. I never brought an icepack when I was a kid and my deviled ham and strawberry milk was fine every day.

/no air-conditioning in the school back then either
 
CtrlAltDelete
2012-02-04 12:35:52 AM
unicron702: It's Akron, the lunchbox has 2 keys of blow in it.

Not since LeBron left :(
 
RogermcAllen
2012-02-04 12:35:57 AM
JasonOfOrillia: ... was a 6-year-old boy's lunch box.

... after Nurse and three accomplices

Quite the criminal organization there.

What Nurse and 3 accomplices might look like:
img213.imageshack.us


/gis for hello nurse, although mostly related, is not very sfw

belhade: Hellooooo nurse!
Dang, you beat me when Fark ate my image the first time and I had to rehost it
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:36:34 AM
DarkSoulNoHope: FirstNationalBastard: Well, was it at least a really cool lunchbox?

It was a Captain Picard lunchbox, finger point and "Engage" all on the box. As awesome as it could be.

Are there four thermoses?
 
Dogsbody
2012-02-04 12:39:08 AM
Clearly, this guy wasn't thinking. If you really need Oreos, Lunchables and a juice box and are prepared to get all armed robbery over it... Just hit a 7-11. They have all those items AND cash (which can be used for the future purchase of Lunchables, etc). Unless he was after the lunch box itself, in which case I totally understand.
 
Mikey1969 [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:40:15 AM
Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...
 
Gnarwhal
2012-02-04 12:40:32 AM
Is that the one with the Darth Maul thermos? Sick dawg -- snatch that shiat.
 
batcookie [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:43:31 AM
Now, now, let's not judge to harshly - they didn't say what kind of lunchbox it was. For an A-Team lunchbox, I might be tempted to do the same. And I would pity the fool who did not give it to me.
 
Bazinga In My Pants
2012-02-04 12:44:14 AM

Jesus, subby... take it easy on the poor guy....



1.bp.blogspot.com



That's just how he rolls.

/Come on, subby... get happy!

//Cheers!
 
bmihura
2012-02-04 12:45:07 AM
Terrell
 
batcookie [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 12:48:39 AM
batcookie: Now, now, let's not judge to harshly - they didn't say what kind of lunchbox it was. For an A-Team lunchbox, I might be tempted to do the same. And I would pity the fool who did not give it to me.

DAMMIT, *too.

I don't always correct my typos, but I HATE that one.
 
culebra
2012-02-04 12:51:54 AM
Mikey1969: Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...

Is that you, Terrell? How are you posting from jail?
 
KrispyKritter
2012-02-04 12:53:12 AM
Pepper Jack loves Fraggle Rock!
 
XplodedSynapses
2012-02-04 12:54:08 AM
Dino M. Zaffina still takes the cake. It's a long year, but i think he's a sure lock.


/The 'M.' stands for 'Massive biatch'.
 
TheCore
2012-02-04 01:04:49 AM
Looks at the name...

"Terrell"

Yup that's totally not a black name
 
four95
2012-02-04 01:06:53 AM
XplodedSynapses: Dino M. Zaffina still takes the cake. It's a long year, but i think he's a sure lock.


/The 'M.' stands for 'Massive biatch'.

i9.photobucket.com
 
Spuddy345
2012-02-04 01:07:05 AM
*fap*
 
Neondistraction
2012-02-04 01:10:50 AM
XplodedSynapses: Dino M. Zaffina still takes the cake. It's a long year, but i think he's a sure lock.


/The 'M.' stands for 'Massive biatch'.


Oh you are so sued for that.

/ should have left the 'm' out, no need to give that asshat what he wants
 
NobleHam
2012-02-04 01:12:25 AM
To be fair he didn't steal it FROM the 6-year-old.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 01:15:10 AM
NobleHam: To be fair he didn't steal it FROM the 6-year-old.

Either way, he stole a lunchbox.

How pathetic is that?
 
Sim Tree [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 01:17:55 AM
libranoelrose: Farking dart player.

Good omni-fark ref there.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 01:21:55 AM
Have you seen the prices they're charging for fake 70s lunch boxes in novelty stores? or real ones? Probably the most valuable thing in the house.

When I was a kid, the TV show characters on your lunch box were as important as your iPhone, your iPod, your iPad and your ultra-thin Air laptop are to kids today.

When I think about it, we should all go out and kick some six year old ass. Well, twelve let's say. We don't want to look bad. Throw 'em back unless they weigh more than 200 pounds.

Kids nowadays. I wish I had a lawn to keep them off. One of those tiny novelty lawns that will fit in a lunch box would be nice, with a tiny lawnchair and a tiny pink flamengo.

Be the Big Man on Campus with this Bettie lunchbox:

ep.yimg.com
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot ... like a thing that is very hot.

Danger! Danger! Will Robinson! Dr. Smith is a snivelling sneak and pedophile. Your Mommy and Daddy don't love you or they'd have dropped him off on an asteroid in the first episode.
 
Mikey1969 [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 01:40:28 AM
culebra: Mikey1969: Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...

Is that you, Terrell? How are you posting from jail?

Cute. Now we know who submitted this boring shiat. I guess at least part of the blame should go to the headline writer, especially since fark submitters don't read past the headlines usually anyway...
 
sethstorm
2012-02-04 01:42:10 AM
I think Mitch Daniels has already got the award for turning Indiana into a backwards and Deep Southern state, starting with his signature of the RTW law.
 
buckler [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 01:42:52 AM
Juice box, motherfarker. Do you speak it?
 
culebra
2012-02-04 01:50:46 AM
Mikey1969: culebra: Mikey1969: Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...

Is that you, Terrell? How are you posting from jail?

Cute. Now we know who submitted this boring shiat. I guess at least part of the blame should go to the headline writer, especially since fark submitters don't read past the headlines usually anyway...

Well, though I didn't submit this headline (or any for this story), I do understand what it takes to get a greenlight. You see, Fark thrives on debate. One of the cheapest ways to get a debate going is for the headline to be factually incorrect or filled with grammar or punctuation mistakes.

You might entertain the idea that you're taking this way too seriously.

i52.tinypic.com
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 01:54:32 AM
Mikey1969: culebra: Mikey1969: Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...

Is that you, Terrell? How are you posting from jail?

Cute. Now we know who submitted this boring shiat. I guess at least part of the blame should go to the headline writer, especially since fark submitters don't read past the headlines usually anyway...

I resent that!

Some of us skim deep enough into the article to make sure we can technically claim the headline is correct.

Because that's the best kind of correct... "technically".
 
craxyd
2012-02-04 02:02:25 AM
umad: 6 years for armed robbery? Gotta keep room for the druggies I guess.


Especially with that awesome collection of charges against him.
 
Mikey1969 [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 02:08:14 AM
FirstNationalBastard: Mikey1969: culebra: Mikey1969: Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...

Is that you, Terrell? How are you posting from jail?

Cute. Now we know who submitted this boring shiat. I guess at least part of the blame should go to the headline writer, especially since fark submitters don't read past the headlines usually anyway...

I resent that!

Some of us skim deep enough into the article to make sure we can technically claim the headline is correct.

Because that's the best kind of correct... "technically".

LOL... That's more than some people try for at least.
 
Mikey1969 [TotalFark]
2012-02-04 02:10:44 AM
culebra: Mikey1969: culebra: Mikey1969: Wow, subby, did you even read TFA? The lunchbox was an incidental theft. To hear you tell it, he jumped the kid on his way to school, held him at gunpoint and stole the lunchbox. Really, he robbed the house, the lunchbox was there, and he took it with him, no mention that the kid was even in the house.


But hey, at least you got greenlit, right? I guess 'Not Reading the Article' is one of those unpublished tips...

Is that you, Terrell? How are you posting from jail?

Cute. Now we know who submitted this boring shiat. I guess at least part of the blame should go to the headline writer, especially since fark submitters don't read past the headlines usually anyway...

Well, though I didn't submit this headline (or any for this story), I do understand what it takes to get a greenlight. You see, Fark thrives on debate. One of the cheapest ways to get a debate going is for the headline to be factually incorrect or filled with grammar or punctuation mistakes.

You might entertain the idea that you're taking this way too seriously.

I merely pointed out that the headline had only a passing acquaintance with reality. You're the one who jumped to subby's defense.
 
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