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(WPTV)   Drunk woman tells officer she cannot take DUI test because "of these big boobies" ...it almost worked until she started to dance (with mugshot goodness)   (wptv.com) divider line 38
    More: Florida, Port St. Lucie, affidavit states, double-yellow line, police officers, DUI test  
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23481 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2012 at 10:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-02-03 10:17:45 AM
Fat Rolls With Nipples =/= Big Boobies
 
2012-02-03 10:18:23 AM
"+ Large Photo"
Yes. Yes, I bet..
 
2012-02-03 10:18:33 AM
You have to be at least somewhat attractive for the "Here, officer, look at these and tell me if they look too big for me to get a DUI" to work.

Does not get ticket:
www.filmschoolrejects.com

Cited for crimes against humanity:
media2.wptv.com
 
2012-02-03 10:19:06 AM
mugshot "goodness"

marcustutt.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-02-03 10:19:37 AM
"The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."

I chuckled....
 
2012-02-03 10:20:49 AM
I am so using this excuse if I ever get pulled over!

It was strange reading "boobies" fifteen times from a newspaper article. Boy, are the times changing.
 
2012-02-03 10:21:00 AM
I find the 'alert' at the top of the page funny
 
2012-02-03 10:23:49 AM
A deputy spotted a Toyota Camry exceeding the speed limit and crossing the double yellow lines.

"She told me she was praying and that I need to relax because she is praying and God is first," the affidavit states.


Your God won't save the family you might've killed by driving drunk, you stupid biatch.
 
2012-02-03 10:24:37 AM

bikerbob59: "The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."

I chuckled....


Me too.
 
2012-02-03 10:31:43 AM

cgraves67: bikerbob59: "The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."

I chuckled....

Me too.


And this: "The deputy later stopped her when she started taking off her clothes to display her bosoms."

Fark grammar Nazis, help me here: I always thought "bosom" referred to the whole thing. Like a woman has two "breasts" but only one "bosom". Am I wrong here?
 
2012-02-03 10:32:15 AM

bikerbob59: "The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."

I chuckled....


We're probably a LOT better off not knowing. *shudder*
 
2012-02-03 10:32:54 AM
I want to see the boobies before I make an opinion.
 
2012-02-03 10:33:26 AM

morgen_benner: Fat Rolls With Nipples =/= Big Boobies


Yup. Skinny women with large breasts have big tits. Fat women with large breasts have fat tits.
 
2012-02-03 10:37:02 AM

morgantx: I always thought "bosom" referred to the whole thing. Like a woman has two "breasts" but only one "bosom". Am I wrong here?


You normally wouldn't be wrong, but when fat rolls are the same size and shape as boobs, at some point when she gives new meaning to the term "six pack" I think "bosom" can become plural.
 
2012-02-03 10:40:40 AM
media2.wptv.com

MY HUMPS
MY HUMPS
MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS!!!1!
 
2012-02-03 10:41:16 AM
I see the fat with large knockers =/= attractive angle has already been covered, so I'll just politely remind everyone - if you're ever pulled over and asked to do a field sobriety test, remember to decline. They'll do a breath/blood test regardless of whether you pass/fail the sobriety test, so do yourself a favor and don't give them more evidence (failed field sobriety test) to use against you.

This is dependent of course on local/state laws - if you are legally required to dance and walk the line like a monkey, you better do it.
 
2012-02-03 10:41:53 AM

bikerbob59: "The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."


The woman was approximately the size of a ballpark.

Done.
 
2012-02-03 10:44:04 AM

Pert: The woman was approximately the size of a ballpark.


Something tells me I don't want to see her Green Monster...
 
2012-02-03 10:50:11 AM
This article is useless without pic- nevermind.
 
2012-02-03 10:52:13 AM
Friday boobies?

/not hers of course.
 
2012-02-03 10:57:45 AM

ElStreak: This article is useless without pic- nevermind.


Well...SOMEBODY had to get this thing started.

www.pixorgy.com
 
2012-02-03 11:01:45 AM
i249.photobucket.com

Prefer these chunky cans
 
2012-02-03 11:04:51 AM

hicksfa2: ElStreak: This article is useless without pic- nevermind.

Well...SOMEBODY had to get this thing started.


Thank you for the industrial-strength eye bleach.
 
2012-02-03 11:23:31 AM

Pert: bikerbob59: "The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."

The woman was approximately the size of a ballpark.

Done.


I wouldn't park my balls aw screw it. EIP!
 
2012-02-03 11:43:20 AM
I tried this one time....didnt work. The female officer seemed very offended that i made reference to her ample bosom.
 
2012-02-03 11:59:32 AM

annitabonghit: I see the fat with large knockers =/= attractive angle has already been covered, so I'll just politely remind everyone - if you're ever pulled over and asked to do a field sobriety test, remember to decline. They'll do a breath/blood test regardless of whether you pass/fail the sobriety test, so do yourself a favor and don't give them more evidence (failed field sobriety test) to use against you.

This is dependent of course on local/state laws - if you are legally required to dance and walk the line like a monkey, you better do it.


Also - don't drive while intoxicated.
 
2012-02-03 12:22:43 PM

GriffXX: annitabonghit: I see the fat with large knockers =/= attractive angle has already been covered, so I'll just politely remind everyone - if you're ever pulled over and asked to do a field sobriety test, remember to decline. They'll do a breath/blood test regardless of whether you pass/fail the sobriety test, so do yourself a favor and don't give them more evidence (failed field sobriety test) to use against you.

This is dependent of course on local/state laws - if you are legally required to dance and walk the line like a monkey, you better do it.

Also - don't drive while intoxicated.




Well sure, but this is Fark we're talking about.
 
2012-02-03 12:30:46 PM

morgantx: cgraves67: bikerbob59: "The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate."

I chuckled....

Me too.

And this: "The deputy later stopped her when she started taking off her clothes to display her bosoms."

Fark grammar Nazis, help me here: I always thought "bosom" referred to the whole thing. Like a woman has two "breasts" but only one "bosom". Am I wrong here?


It's like that mystical duality that is a pair of pants, and yet, a singular item.
 
2012-02-03 01:42:30 PM
Not a bookmark
 
2012-02-03 02:25:08 PM

hicksfa2: ElStreak: This article is useless without pic- nevermind.

Well...SOMEBODY had to get this thing started.

[www.pixorgy.com image 480x717]


excuse me. i need some alone time now.
 
2012-02-03 02:30:28 PM
The affidavit did not specify a size for Raymond's breasts or even give a ballpark estimate.

They didn't use the breastalyzer?
 
2012-02-03 03:01:28 PM
"ballpark estimate"... daaaaammmmn... them are some biiiig puppies....
 
2012-02-03 03:05:27 PM
Was she the inspiration for Bras on 45 (new window)
 
2012-02-03 03:21:33 PM
If you are able to make the officer throw-up or gag, you automatically get out of a ticket. It's a little known loophole called the "Lloyd Christmas" clause. I think that's what this lovely "lady" was going for.
 
2012-02-03 07:21:46 PM
She looks like Part 2 of the article about the lady who used to be a dude.
 
2012-02-03 10:37:25 PM
But if a guy says 'not with this big ole dick' he'll be wearing a head bandage in his mugshot.
 
2012-02-04 12:37:41 AM
I really do not understand America. Roadside balancing tests? Are you guys so scared of science that you are incapable of admitting a roadside breath test might give you a better indication of sobriety? It is just insane.
 
2012-02-04 01:48:10 AM

nonzero: I really do not understand America. Roadside balancing tests? Are you guys so scared of science that you are incapable of admitting a roadside breath test might give you a better indication of sobriety? It is just insane.


It's all about the evidence.

I've seen people that could pop a .2 on a breath test (ok, in the mirror, but that's beside the point), but be able to walk a line better than I could stone cold sober. Then again, if they're buzzed on Oxy's, they won't even blow .000 if that's all they've taken... So then it becomes the video evidence over the BAC meter.

Plus, it gives the cops something to hand over to "America's wildest moments caught on tape" or whatever for more revenue...
 
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