If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(UPI)   College student sues fraternity for negligence because he fell off a deck after a bottle rocket went off in another student's rectum   (upi.com) divider line 43
    More: Silly, bottle rockets, GOP White House, Michael Sheen, Courthouse News Service, Marshall University  
•       •       •

4451 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2012 at 10:16 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-02-03 08:25:37 AM
A stupid jock expects stupid fraternity members to protect him from harm? What is this, the 21st century?
 
2012-02-03 09:15:13 AM
Gee. He's going to be super popular around the chapter house now!
 
2012-02-03 09:19:49 AM
Ah those fraternity boys...

It's always about things going up their asses, usually put their by other frat brothers. Why don't they just declare gay orgy night and get it over with?
 
2012-02-03 09:21:03 AM
I've always wondered why fireworks come with warnings about holding them with your hands, but nothing about shoving them up your ass. This accident was inevitable, and preventable.
 
2012-02-03 09:26:19 AM
rectum? Damn near killed him.
 
2012-02-03 09:40:27 AM
I think what's brilliant about this is that the plaintiff was at the party, apparently aware (a) of the underage drinking and (b) of the unsafe porch. He chose to remain, drinking, on that porch.

When someone pulled out firecrackers, he didn't leave.

When someone's pants came down, he didn't leave.

When someone , he didn't leave.

When someone lit those firecrackers, he didn't leave.

Yet, when he was startled by the result, it's someone else's fault he didn't leave.

Great lesson those parents are teaching this kid.
 
2012-02-03 09:46:24 AM
Didn't see the video?! Do they not have the inter-tubes at that fine university??
 
2012-02-03 10:20:55 AM
Weird, the headline that was greenlit yesterday said the guy suing is the one who had the bottle rocket go off in his a$s.

/repeat
 
2012-02-03 10:24:18 AM
126 results for "bottle rocket anus" on Youtube.

Maybe the Mayans weren't that far off after all...
 
2012-02-03 10:27:43 AM
WE ARE

sticking things in our butts.
 
2012-02-03 10:27:57 AM

mattharvest: I think what's brilliant about this is that the plaintiff was at the party, apparently aware (a) of the underage drinking and (b) of the unsafe porch. He chose to remain, drinking, on that porch.

When someone pulled out firecrackers, he didn't leave.

When someone's pants came down, he didn't leave.

When someone , he didn't leave.

When someone lit those firecrackers, he didn't leave.

Yet, when he was startled by the result, it's someone else's fault he didn't leave.

Great lesson those parents are teaching this kid.


Doesn't that sound like an exam question for a 1l torts class? I'd expect at least two paragraphs analyzing "assumption of risk" and one one "Unreasonably dangerous activities and strict liability" in an "A" answer
 
2012-02-03 10:28:02 AM
Meh. No big story here. Just another asshole shooting off fireworks.
 
2012-02-03 10:34:25 AM
What the hell did I cram in my anus last night? (new window)

/Link pops. Written comedy, probably SFW but who knows?
 
2012-02-03 10:35:29 AM
While I read the article I thought, oh what if the bottle rocket blew up in the other guy's...GAH!
 
2012-02-03 10:35:29 AM

Magorn: mattharvest: I think what's brilliant about this is that the plaintiff was at the party, apparently aware (a) of the underage drinking and (b) of the unsafe porch. He chose to remain, drinking, on that porch.

When someone pulled out firecrackers, he didn't leave.

When someone's pants came down, he didn't leave.

When someone , he didn't leave.

When someone lit those firecrackers, he didn't leave.

Yet, when he was startled by the result, it's someone else's fault he didn't leave.

Great lesson those parents are teaching this kid.

Doesn't that sound like an exam question for a 1l torts class? I'd expect at least two paragraphs analyzing "assumption of risk" and one one "Unreasonably dangerous activities and strict liability" in an "A" answer


Does West Dakota have contributory negligence, pure comparative fault or modified comparative fault?
 
2012-02-03 10:36:55 AM
All bets are off when the gunpowder hits the anus.
 
2012-02-03 10:37:03 AM
Photoshop challenge: Design a warning label to prevent future rectal interactions with bottlerockets.
 
2012-02-03 10:38:28 AM
This dumbass concept is a repeat from a 2006 fark thread.

That thread had pictures.

Enjoy the derp:

(I'm not linking directly to them though, as side-views of a buttocks with fireworks burns may be deemed NSFW in some places...)

http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/3149/81895202.png

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/5403/50945025.png

http://img802.imageshack.us/img802/3323/16971834.png

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/7388/53164005.png
 
2012-02-03 10:42:51 AM
Well all in all here's the things this kid will have to prove in court if he has a case at all that is;

1.) That the defendant owned or leased or occupied or controlled the property on which she was harmed;
2.) That the defendant "was negligent" with respect to the property's use or how it was maintained;
3.) That the plaintiff sustained an injury or property damage; and
4.) That the "defendant's negligence" was a legal cause of that injury or property damage.

Now mind you its upon the kid to prove all four of these things in regards to the property laws and the negligence claim.

Just because a lessor/occupier/owner/controller was negligent does not mean that the plaintiff prevails. The plaintiff still has to show that the negligence contributed to her injuries such as to impose legal liability for the same. One can be negligent, but if does not harm anyone, there is no liability.

So it looks like this lil sparkler has his work cut out for him since even if the guy is negligent in shoving something up his rectum but said firework didn't actually harm him, that's going to be a leap to prove liability. It's like saying that I'm not responsible for driving my car into a pole because someone's tire blew out and scared me.
 
2012-02-03 10:43:21 AM
In my arbitrary universe, people who file lawsuits like this would be immediately air-dropped into Iran. Or maybe Somalia.
 
2012-02-03 10:47:15 AM
Unexploded Firework in Anus? You that could quickly become a meme if we shortened it to UFIA
 
2012-02-03 11:00:23 AM
Plausible assumption of risk.
 
2012-02-03 11:03:53 AM
Well now what did you expect? You're in a frat house.
 
2012-02-03 11:08:46 AM

Magorn: Unexploded Firework in Anus? You that could quickly become a meme if we shortened it to UFIA


UBRIA?
 
2012-02-03 11:26:39 AM

Jake Havechek: Ah those fraternity boys...

It's always about things going up their asses, usually put their by other frat brothers. Why don't they just declare gay orgy night and get it over with?


Someone didn't get a bid...
 
2012-02-03 11:43:43 AM
Fire in the hole!
 
2012-02-03 11:57:49 AM

Damned In The Sand: Well all in all here's the things this kid will have to prove in court if he has a case at all that is;

1.) That the defendant owned or leased or occupied or controlled the property on which she was harmed;
2.) That the defendant "was negligent" with respect to the property's use or how it was maintained;
3.) That the plaintiff sustained an injury or property damage; and
4.) That the "defendant's negligence" was a legal cause of that injury or property damage.

Now mind you its upon the kid to prove all four of these things in regards to the property laws and the negligence claim.

Just because a lessor/occupier/owner/controller was negligent does not mean that the plaintiff prevails. The plaintiff still has to show that the negligence contributed to her injuries such as to impose legal liability for the same. One can be negligent, but if does not harm anyone, there is no liability.

So it looks like this lil sparkler has his work cut out for him since even if the guy is negligent in shoving something up his rectum but said firework didn't actually harm him, that's going to be a leap to prove liability. It's like saying that I'm not responsible for driving my car into a pole because someone's tire blew out and scared me.


No, that's actually true. You can't be sued for negligence if you believe your actions are the correct ones, even if it turns out later that your beliefs, while reasonable, were not correct.

In your example, it would be like suing the guy who owned the pole.
 
2012-02-03 11:58:34 AM

Jjaro: Jake Havechek: Ah those fraternity boys...

It's always about things going up their asses, usually put their by other frat brothers. Why don't they just declare gay orgy night and get it over with?

Someone didn't get a bid...


I don't swing that way.
 
2012-02-03 12:04:25 PM
Douche bags with report
 
2012-02-03 12:23:09 PM
Buttocks rocket.
 
2012-02-03 12:46:44 PM
did they oil it up first?
 
2012-02-03 01:22:12 PM

Jjaro: Jake Havechek: Ah those fraternity boys...

It's always about things going up their asses, usually put their by other frat brothers. Why don't they just declare gay orgy night and get it over with?

Someone didn't get a bid...


You ever notice how much hatred the socially awkward kids have for the people who actually have lives?

At my university 75% were greek. The students who either didn't have good enough grades to go greek or who were too introverted to bother making friends with human beings made up the remaining 25% of the student body. It's amazing how much that vocal few like Jake Havechek hated those of us who actually had responsibilities, social events, friends and girlfriends.

Envy is a terrible thing Havechek. You need to grow up and join society someday.
 
2012-02-03 01:44:47 PM

Leeds: Jjaro: Jake Havechek: Ah those fraternity boys...

It's always about things going up their asses, usually put their by other frat brothers. Why don't they just declare gay orgy night and get it over with?

Someone didn't get a bid...

You ever notice how much hatred the socially awkward kids have for the people who actually have lives?

At my university 75% were greek. The students who either didn't have good enough grades to go greek or who were too introverted to bother making friends with human beings made up the remaining 25% of the student body. It's amazing how much that vocal few like Jake Havechek hated those of us who actually had responsibilities, social events, friends and girlfriends.

Envy is a terrible thing Havechek. You need to grow up and join society someday.


Exactly. If I decided not to join an organization, I wouldn't seek out threads concerning them in an attempt to insult them on the internet.

But then again, I don't think I will ever be as envious of other people's social lives than Jake Havechek apparently is.
 
2012-02-03 01:55:13 PM
A rocket went up my ass!

Rectum!

Rectum? It completely destroyed 'em!
 
2012-02-03 02:21:39 PM
Came for UBRIA

/wait, i should rephrase
//instead of typing "wait, i should rephrase"
///"arrrrrrrgh"
////those responsible for excess slashies have been sacked
 
2012-02-03 02:52:18 PM
AT Ω

Asshole
Torn
Out?
 
2012-02-03 03:49:34 PM

ManateeGag: rectum? Damn near killed him.




Over in 5.


MooU sucks donkey dicks.
 
2012-02-03 05:02:43 PM
 
2012-02-03 05:10:16 PM
i believe this headline was supposed to end with...

...The Aristofrats!
 
2012-02-03 06:16:26 PM
I can't wait for the summer. With bottle rockets now legal here, we will soon see some of these stories involving UofM and MSU. We may win our bid for a Michigan tag, yet.
 
2012-02-03 10:22:41 PM
NATIONAL HUM
i believe this headline was supposed to end with...
...The Aristofrats!


No...The Sophiscates.
[Snaps fingers with arms in Caps 'L' shape]

/This would be a great case to hear in court.
 
2012-02-03 10:45:15 PM

Leeds: The students who either didn't have good enough grades to go greek or who were too introverted to bother making friends with human beings made up the remaining 25% of the student body.


It's a good thing neither one of you is painting with a broad, hate-soaked brush.
 
2012-02-04 01:30:45 AM
Reading Leeds' post I can't help but giggle as Greek is a well-known slang term for anal sex
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report