FARK.com: (6919886) You can tell Valentine's Day is near, because the media has produced the first "ZOMG, PERVERTED CANDY HEARTS" story of the season

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(Some Guy)		You can tell Valentine's Day is near, because the media has produced the first "ZOMG, PERVERTED CANDY HEARTS" story of the season (kcra.com)		44
		More: Amusing, zomg, Valentine's Day, North Highlands

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5626 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2012 at 9:13 AM | Favorite | share:

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44 Comments (+0 »)

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Rufus Lee King

2012-02-03 09:15:04 AM

Why, this has never happened before!

Bit'O'Gristle

2012-02-03 09:16:49 AM

"Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest.

/Well..did she have nice tits?

BurnShrike

2012-02-03 09:18:52 AM

While he was shocked, Deanda said he doesn't have any plans to sue.

Only in the US would you have to actually say this. "Someone said TITS to my daughter! SUE!"

6502programmer

2012-02-03 09:19:04 AM

Maybe they just like birds?

JNowe

2012-02-03 09:19:10 AM

Posted Feb 2, 2011.

Fromageball

2012-02-03 09:20:26 AM

Don't care what is written on the things...has Necco gone back to their original recipe yet? When they changed it my yearly candy consumption levels went down like 1/3.

6502programmer

2012-02-03 09:21:04 AM

The REAL story here is someone was eating those things. To quote Cleveland, "Oh that's nasty!"

BurnShrike

2012-02-03 09:21:29 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: "Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest.

/Well..did she have nice tits?

She's 12 for fark's sake!

Of course she has nice tits. No time to sag yet.

miss diminutive

2012-02-03 09:23:41 AM

WilsBadKarma

2012-02-03 09:27:19 AM

FTFA ""Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest."

I certainly am glad they clarified that.

Coming on a Bicycle

2012-02-03 09:27:30 AM

6502programmer: Maybe they just like birds?

[img62.imageshack.us image 480x383]

Those are really nice tits !

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion

2012-02-03 09:27:48 AM

6502programmer: The REAL story here is someone was eating those things. To quote Cleveland, "Oh that's nasty!"

It was a 12-year old girl. They're not real people.

chappy62

2012-02-03 09:28:19 AM

Old news is old.

hillary

2012-02-03 09:29:16 AM

So here we have the only 12-year-old in America that has never seen an R rated movie, apparently.

12 years old = 7th grade.

If I was in 7th grade and had something like this, I would be showing and sneaking it around school laughing my ass off.

Pants full of macaroni!!

2012-02-03 09:31:37 AM

Hay guize, are we in the right thread?

hillary

2012-02-03 09:34:30 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: [img.photobucket.com image 486x400]

Hay guize, are we in the right thread?

Nice boobies.

ten foiled hats

2012-02-03 09:34:55 AM

WilsBadKarma: FTFA ""Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest."

I certainly am glad they clarified that.

You mean "tits" isn't another term for "eyes?"
This whole time I thought "tits" meant "eyes."

"My eyes are up here."
"You mean down there, yes, I see them."

RichPoorBoy

2012-02-03 09:38:18 AM

Maybe tonight?

Gordon Bennett

2012-02-03 09:38:56 AM

BurnShrike: While he was shocked, Deanda said he doesn't have any plans to sue.

Only in the US would you have to actually say this. "Someone said TITS to my daughter! SUE!"

Only in the US is it newsworthy that someone wouldn't sue over something like this.

OneNightStand

2012-02-03 09:39:10 AM

Well, did she?

SurfGirl69

2012-02-03 09:43:32 AM

So, how long will it take for this to turn into a thread devoted to examples of what "nice tits" might look like?

tacks

2012-02-03 09:45:10 AM

It's call conversation candy? Well then I think mission accomplished kind sir.

Abe Vigoda's Ghost

2012-02-03 09:46:33 AM

fruitloop

2012-02-03 10:01:06 AM

"I thought it was kinda shocking," said Ciara Bush

ZOMG!!!!1!

Kirzania

2012-02-03 10:04:40 AM

Fromageball: Don't care what is written on the things...has Necco gone back to their original recipe yet? When they changed it my yearly candy consumption levels went down like 1/3.

So much this. They announced back in October of 2011, they would return to the original recipe but that distributors still had the 'new' recipe in their warehouses from the previous year. I have yet to find any of the originals.
/at least Target has Easter stuff out too
//nom nom some Reese's PB eggs.

Rufus Lee King

2012-02-03 10:06:19 AM

fruitloop: "I thought it was kinda shocking," said Ciara Bush

i1041.photobucket.com

JackieRabbit

2012-02-03 10:06:55 AM

I heart yur snatch!

Gabrielmot

2012-02-03 10:22:35 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: "Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest.

/Well..did she have nice tits?

I think we'll need to see pictures of nice tits to know exactly how to feel about this story.

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf

2012-02-03 10:52:50 AM

You bought the candies at a discount store. Things sold in those stores is discounted for a reason. What did you think was going to happen?

sulco

2012-02-03 10:55:30 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Hay guize, are we in the right thread?

I almost choked on my carrot after seeing that... so to speak.

/eating lunch at desk
//typical IT lunch

thelordofcheese

2012-02-03 11:32:43 AM

sulco: Pants full of macaroni!!: Hay guize, are we in the right thread?

I almost choked on my carrot after seeing that... so to speak.

/eating lunch at desk
//typical IT lunch

Does not compute.

/vegetarian noodle soup here
//spinach and feta omelet with potato wedges fried in olive oil with wheat bread and water for breakfast

Jixa

2012-02-03 12:06:59 PM

Did she GTFO?

cryinoutloud

2012-02-03 12:28:37 PM

"I am appalled at this!" she exclaimed, as she paid for her daughter's new sweatpants that had Hot and Juicy written across the butt.

o.onionstatic.com

Concerned Mother

Abe Vigoda's Ghost

2012-02-03 01:19:27 PM

cryinoutloud: "I am appalled at this!" she exclaimed, as she paid for her daughter's new sweatpants that had Hot and Juicy written across the butt.

Concerned Mother

i44.tinypic.com

wants to know how long before she can spit it out.

offmymeds

2012-02-03 01:23:35 PM

hillary: So here we have the only 12-year-old in America that has never seen an R rated movie, apparently.

12 years old = 7th grade.

If I was in 7th grade and had something like this, I would be showing and sneaking it around school laughing my ass off.

You and I weren't raised by 'helicopter' parents.

RedHoodie

2012-02-03 02:34:10 PM

I might be alone here, but I'd pay good money for a bag that was nothing but filthy conversation hearts. I was disappointed when they updated them for the digital age - "TXT ME" means nothing without "DICKPIX PLS" on the end of it.

hillary

2012-02-03 02:42:59 PM

offmymeds: hillary: So here we have the only 12-year-old in America that has never seen an R rated movie, apparently.

12 years old = 7th grade.

If I was in 7th grade and had something like this, I would be showing and sneaking it around school laughing my ass off.

You and I weren't raised by 'helicopter' parents.

Cuz 12-year-olds are totally innocent snowflakes, which would explain why the movie Stand By Me rang so true, and that was supposed to take place in a much more innocent age.

Speaking of that, -- Hey Wheaton -- where the f are you?

quantum_jellyroll

2012-02-03 03:25:54 PM

quantum_jellyroll

2012-02-03 03:32:20 PM

Here's another one the basement dwellers can stockpile for use at some future date...

reneau.smugmug.com

uncoveror

2012-02-03 04:14:50 PM

Dirty hearts aren't nearly as upsetting as these.
http://despair.com/bittersweets.html

enthralledgeishagirl

2012-02-04 01:59:12 AM

Some people just can't take a compliment

brantgoose

2012-02-04 06:24:29 PM

All of my candy hearts say "Bite me" on them. I buy in bulk for Valentine's Day. It's cheaper if you mix a few chalk ones in. Nobody notices the difference.

Optimal_Illusion

2012-02-04 09:30:49 PM

Could be worse. How? Take it away, Joel and the 'Bots! (new window)

thisbirdhasflown

2012-02-05 03:33:55 PM

Hey Subby!! Check the date on that there article... this happened LAST YEAR and LAST YEAR it was posted on FARK as well...

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