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(Deadline)   Russell Crowe may be floatin' round the world as Darren Aronofsky's Noah   (deadline.com) divider line 54
    More: Spiffy, Darren Aronofsky, Russell Crowe, WME, Noah's Ark, L.A. Confidential, period drama, Liam Neeson, American accents  
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1972 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Feb 2012 at 4:21 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-02 02:30:38 AM
Will this wash away the blight that was Robin Hood? I hope so.
 
2012-02-02 03:38:56 AM
 
2012-02-02 04:50:04 AM
Be better if he was floatin' round the world as Aubrey again...
 
2012-02-02 05:02:59 AM
So he fights animals two at a time?

i1127.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-02 05:03:28 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk
Sounds great.
 
2012-02-02 05:19:53 AM
For some reason I read that as Russel Brand and was like what the fark...
 
2012-02-02 05:34:36 AM
www.demotivationalposters.org
Master & Commander: The Saga Begins
 
2012-02-02 05:35:25 AM
Not a fan of "Bible" movies, but I like Aronofsky.

So, this is a maybe.
 
2012-02-02 05:47:55 AM
How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.
 
2012-02-02 05:54:01 AM
Finally got around to seeing Black Swan for the first time (Dish had free Premium Channels all week). Other than the hot masturbating and lesbian sex scenes, that movie was predictable and awful. It made an assload of money, and garnered Portman an Oscar, so I realize I am in the minority on this issue. IMDb gave it 8/10 so obviously it was well received. But if we judged everything by how popular it was, then Justin Bieber is the world's greatest singer, McDonald's is the worlds greatest restaurant, Wal-Mart is the best place to shop and I-phone will one day feed the poor and bring about world peace.
 
2012-02-02 06:15:14 AM
Dahnkster: Finally got around to seeing Black Swan for the first time (Dish had free Premium Channels all week). Other than the hot masturbating and lesbian sex scenes, that movie was predictable and awful. It made an assload of money, and garnered Portman an Oscar, so I realize I am in the minority on this issue. IMDb gave it 8/10 so obviously it was well received. But if we judged everything by how popular it was, then Justin Bieber is the world's greatest singer, McDonald's is the worlds greatest restaurant, Wal-Mart is the best place to shop and I-phone will one day feed the poor and bring about world peace.

So I think we can conclude that a Noah flick also needs hot masturbating and lesbian sex scenes.

\In fact, forget Noah
\\bender.jpg
 
2012-02-02 06:45:35 AM
Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

Yet 2 billion human beings believe it hook, line, and sinker.
 
2012-02-02 06:46:40 AM
Confabulat: Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

Yet 2 billion human beings believe it hook, line, and sinker.


Oh and I forgot the Jews. Do the Muslims believe in Noah? I forget.
 
2012-02-02 06:54:28 AM
The Silver Mullet: Be better if he was floatin' round the world as Aubrey again...

THIS goddamnit!
 
2012-02-02 07:01:22 AM
Confabulat: Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

Yet 2 billion human beings believe it hook, line, and sinker.


Many human civilizations besides the Western Judeo-Christian one had flood myths. Sumeria, for example. In those days there was no line between myth and history. I imagine if you were to try to explain to someone of that time, "You know this is all just fantasy pulled out of some guy's ass, right? It's not possible that it's literally true," they would be baffled by your claim to know what is and isn't possible, and they woud see no use in your distinction between historian and myth-maker. Everything is possible in that worldview, and there is no certainty except in revealed truths.
 
2012-02-02 07:35:19 AM
B.L.Z. Bub: Many human civilizations besides the Western Judeo-Christian one had flood myths

It's almost as though any civilization that was able and had any sense would build near a water source and many of these bodies of water would flood at some point in their history. So when these civilizations finally got together to compare notes, they concluded that they all had similar flood stories and therefore there must have been one Great Flood that covered the world at one point. Doesn't explain the thing about gathering millions of animals and getting them to fark on a boat though.
 
2012-02-02 07:46:18 AM
Oy!
 
2012-02-02 08:12:48 AM
Will christians flock to this movie like Passion of the Christ? Declare Crowe/Aronofsky the next messiah like they did Gibson?

/snarky comment, but I am really wondering.
 
2012-02-02 08:14:56 AM
Confabulat: Do the Muslims believe in Noah?

Yep, they do.
 
2012-02-02 08:21:41 AM
Apos: Will this wash away the blight that was Robin Hood? I hope so.

You didn't like Robin Hood? I declare you to be...an OUTLAAAAAAAAAAAW!
 
2012-02-02 08:22:26 AM
I would go just to hear him say "what's a cubit?" with an Aussie accent.
 
2012-02-02 08:33:24 AM
stuhayes2010: Will christians flock to this movie like Passion of the Christ? Declare Crowe/Aronofsky the next messiah like they did Gibson?

/snarky comment, but I am really wondering.


No, because it's not about Jesus. And why single Christians out? Noah's Ark was Old Testament.
 
2012-02-02 08:45:21 AM
Everyone Sucks But Me: Apos: Will this wash away the blight that was Robin Hood? I hope so.

You didn't like Robin Hood? I declare you to be...an OUTLAAAAAAAAAAAW!



Heh. Most memorable performance in an otherwise forgettable flick.

Did it in Sucker Punch and Drive as well.
 
2012-02-02 08:59:57 AM
mechgreg: I would go just to hear him say "what's a cubit?" with an Aussie accent.

Win!
 
2012-02-02 09:12:22 AM
If he calls the animals testicles, vaginas, and scrotums, I'm in.
 
2012-02-02 09:17:20 AM
Everyone Sucks But Me: Apos: Will this wash away the blight that was Robin Hood? I hope so.

You didn't like Robin Hood? I declare you to be...an OUTLAAAAAAAAAAAW!


This. I enjoyed it
 
2012-02-02 09:29:18 AM
Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

You'll be okay once they start loading up the dinosaurs.
 
2012-02-02 09:59:20 AM
Crewmannumber6: Everyone Sucks But Me: Apos: Will this wash away the blight that was Robin Hood? I hope so.

You didn't like Robin Hood? I declare you to be...an OUTLAAAAAAAAAAAW!

This. I enjoyed it


It was OK. It brought some interesting new-ish ideas to the legend, but overall? Meh. And I say this as an archer.
 
2012-02-02 10:11:11 AM
Make another Aubrey-Maturin movie, damn it!
 
2012-02-02 10:22:31 AM
mechgreg: I would go just to hear him say "what's a cubit?" with an Aussie accent.

Riiight...

/zhhvoobah, zhhvoobah, zhhvoobah...
//*DING!*
 
2012-02-02 10:36:54 AM
dittybopper: Crewmannumber6: Everyone Sucks But Me: Apos: Will this wash away the blight that was Robin Hood? I hope so.

You didn't like Robin Hood? I declare you to be...an OUTLAAAAAAAAAAAW!

This. I enjoyed it

It was OK. It brought some interesting new-ish ideas to the legend, but overall? Meh. And I say this as an archer.


Do you know how awesome the original concept of the film was? It was going to be told from the Sheriff of Nottingham's perspective. That is, it was going to show the sheriff as the good guy, and Robin as kind of a dick and a thief (although being framed for murder). It was going to show the Sheriff using real 12th Century investigation techniques... it could have been farking fantastic, but instead we got that.
 
2012-02-02 10:39:19 AM
The Silver Mullet: Be better if he was floatin' round the world as Aubrey again...

images.nymag.com

I like her performance better.
 
2012-02-02 11:32:04 AM
Dahnkster: Finally got around to seeing Black Swan for the first time (Dish had free Premium Channels all week). Other than the hot masturbating and lesbian sex scenes, that movie was predictable and awful. It made an assload of money, and garnered Portman an Oscar, so I realize I am in the minority on this issue. IMDb gave it 8/10 so obviously it was well received. But if we judged everything by how popular it was, then Justin Bieber is the world's greatest singer, McDonald's is the worlds greatest restaurant, Wal-Mart is the best place to shop and I-phone will one day feed the poor and bring about world peace.

I respectfully disagree. There was a lot I liked about that movie. And predictability? Well, OK... but the same can be said for Swan Lake itself, no?

Portman's performance was outstanding. She played that role exactly right, IMO.
 
2012-02-02 11:36:02 AM
Should be interesting when they get to the bit where Noah's son molests his old man. Awkward!
 
2012-02-02 11:54:17 AM
Interestingly enough I Just got around to watching "Casino Jack" the other day and in one of the final scenes as Abramoff knows his lobbying career is finished and he tries to go back to being a Hollywood producer (he'd produced some Dolph Lundgren movie in the 1980's). In the pitch meeting with one of the studio heads, this is almost exactly the movie he pitches: A biblical epic, with action movie overtones, with Russel Crowe as the lead
 
2012-02-02 11:55:05 AM
Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

You could set it in space and cast Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid...oh, wait, That didn't go over so well the first time.
 
2012-02-02 12:55:51 PM
Wasn't Noah a drunk? Seems fitting.
 
2012-02-02 01:11:45 PM
Lee's_Austin: Wasn't Noah a drunk? Seems fitting.

Yea but I am not sure they had any phones back then that he could Noah could throw at people. Maybe he can throw around scrolls or stone tablets.
 
2012-02-02 01:32:53 PM
How about Noah?

bear.jpg
 
2012-02-02 01:49:37 PM
NuclearPenguins: Make another Aubrey-Maturin movie, damn it!

This
 
2012-02-02 01:53:40 PM
Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

By going realistic and making Noah a schitzophrenic who ruptures a dam/levee and floods his own town when the rains that the voices in his head promised fail to appear.
 
2012-02-02 01:58:26 PM
Much was made of the placement of the animals in the ark by Aronofsky. They came 2-by-2;

Lion 2 lion.
Elephant 2 elephant...

and

ass-2-ass......

ASS To ASS!
 
2012-02-02 02:11:01 PM
Any Pie Left: Much was made of the placement of the animals in the ark by Aronofsky. They came 2-by-2;

Lion 2 lion.
Elephant 2 elephant...

and

ass-2-ass......

ASS To ASS!


Still not as bad as ass to mouse.
 
2012-02-02 02:54:43 PM
This is why I haven't read that book - Hollywood will eventually make a movie out of anything that was good enough. That being said, please stop posting spoilers.
 
2012-02-02 04:56:24 PM
Mr_Fabulous:
I respectfully disagree. There was a lot I liked about that movie. And predictability? Well, OK... but the same can be said for Swan Lake itself, no?

Portman's performance was outstanding. She played that role exactly right, IMO.



Mr_Fabulous I respect your opinion and would buy you a beer. I watched the movie twice, but I honestly guessed the principal's characther had dreamed up/imagined her relationship with Kunis, I nailed every reaction her overbearing mother (who was vicariously living out her own dreams and 'projecting' onto Portman like a 35 mm Simplex) would have, I knew she had in fact stabbed herself instead of Kunis, it was downright eerie how I knew right where the story was headed. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Natalie Portman -- Leon: The Professional, Where the Heart Is, Garden State, and even Star Wars were all enjoyable. I may have just been a little grumpy last night when I commented. I cannot fault your feelings about this film in any way and certainly not your enjoyment of Miss Portman's performance. Again, my sincerest regards and hope your movie experiences will be positive.
 
2012-02-02 04:58:23 PM
Dahnkster: Finally got around to seeing Black Swan for the first time (Dish had free Premium Channels all week). Other than the hot masturbating and lesbian sex scenes, that movie was predictable and awful. It made an assload of money, and garnered Portman an Oscar, so I realize I am in the minority on this issue. IMDb gave it 8/10 so obviously it was well received. But if we judged everything by how popular it was, then Justin Bieber is the world's greatest singer, McDonald's is the worlds greatest restaurant, Wal-Mart is the best place to shop and I-phone will one day feed the poor and bring about world peace.

I thought Black Swan was good, but it had the same problem that Darren Aronofsky other big movie Requiem for a Dream. Both movies were very insteresting and dark and had really shocking plots but for both movies the endings, once they were over and you thought about it made not a damn bit of sense. I mean with Requiem (by the way here come some spoilers) we are supposed to believe that New York City ran out of drugs and the main characters had to drive to florida and get some, and then were arrested because one guy went to the doctors to get treatment for an infected arm (and the doctor refused treatment) even though at the time they weren't even carrying any drugs.

With Black Swan is was the whole thing with Nathalie Portman's character doing two full acts as the star of a ballet with a giant piece of glass stuck in her abdomen. And not only was she able to dance and not notice the pain, or pass out from blood loss, but she was wearing a white ballet dress and no one noticed the stab wound.

And the Wrestler was just plain retarded.
 
2012-02-02 07:02:04 PM
DonkeyDixon: Mugato: How can they make a Noah's Ark movie without it coming off as completely farking stupid? I mean suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

By going realistic and making Noah a schitzophrenic who ruptures a dam/levee and floods his own town when the rains that the voices in his head promised fail to appear.


That's actually not bad. Do you have representation?
 
2012-02-02 07:39:31 PM
I know this may come as a shock to some people but the story of Noah's Ark has some serious technical problems.
 
2012-02-02 08:43:01 PM
So we have to see a 600-year old Russell Crowe naked in front of his kid?

/mmmm Ham
 
2012-02-02 09:00:48 PM
For fark sake you Atheists are worse than the bible thumpers. I hear more shiat from Atheists spouting intolerance than any other group especially on the internet and also in person. Shut the fark up already, we get it, you don't believe in God, have fun with that but do you have to bash and belittle anyone who doesn't believe the same as you. Grow some balls and start bashing Muslims. You don't, you go after Jews and Christians, easy targets. Throw Muslims under the bus the same way pussies. And this is coming from an Agnostic.
 
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