FARK.com: (6914319) The hell with pizza, you can have a sex toy delivered to your residence in 60 minutes or less

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		The hell with pizza, you can have a sex toy delivered to your residence in 60 minutes or less (brooklynpaper.com)		109
		More: Spiffy

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9119 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2012 at 8:35 PM | Favorite | share:

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Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends!

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109 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Ed Finnerty

2012-01-31 08:05:30 PM

Is it pre-lubed? These things are important.

markie_farkie

2012-01-31 08:21:00 PM

I really don't feel comfortable knowing some pimply kid driving a 93 Sentra knows I just decided to spend my evening discovering the wonderful, prostate stimulating feeling of fullness that my new inflatable butt-plug is expected to provide.

davidphogan

2012-01-31 08:33:09 PM

I'd rather get a pizza.

tortilla burger

2012-01-31 08:36:30 PM

davidphogan: I'd rather get a pizza.

No reason you can't get both

calbert

2012-01-31 08:37:22 PM

tips for tips?

Rufus Lee King

2012-01-31 08:38:00 PM

An electric-cooled party harness with fuel injection?

KarmicDisaster

2012-01-31 08:39:21 PM

Only if they warm it up.

BMFPitt

2012-01-31 08:39:23 PM

This could make for some really fun gag-gifts. Literally. And at perfectly timed awkward moments.

Thisbymaster

2012-01-31 08:39:44 PM

Still faster then the police.

TheGreatGazoo

2012-01-31 08:40:09 PM

Imagine the eyefuls you'd get doing that job.

just passing through

2012-01-31 08:41:53 PM

Nice that you get free delivery on Valentine's Day. What about anniversaries? Or 'we're making up from a horrific fight' sex days?

Tenchiro

2012-01-31 08:42:52 PM

You can get ANYTHING delivered in the city in less than 30 minutes.

Plant Rights Activist

2012-01-31 08:43:33 PM

I think pranking people in NY just became a whole lot more fun

wambu

2012-01-31 08:43:36 PM

God Bless America!

Ed Finnerty

2012-01-31 08:43:46 PM

"Hey! This dildo only has one dong! I ordered the double-dong!"

Ikahoshi

2012-01-31 08:45:17 PM

Satisfaction guaranteed.

srewolf

2012-01-31 08:45:52 PM

This is what I miss about NYC the most - delivery of pretty much anything you could possibly want to buy at any time of day...without having to be a VIP or have special connections.

Speedofdarkness

2012-01-31 08:46:58 PM

Do you have to tip the bike messenger? or do you have to give them the whole thing?

djkutch

2012-01-31 08:49:13 PM

I'd like a Sybian with anchovies (for the smell).

trappedspirit

2012-01-31 08:50:43 PM

If your sex life is so haphazardly organized as to not know when a sex toy may or may not be needed within the next 60 minutes, you just procured the services of a hooker. Otherwise, live by the boy scout motto.

davidphogan

2012-01-31 08:51:16 PM

srewolf: This is what I miss about NYC the most - delivery of pretty much anything you could possibly want to buy at any time of day...without having to be a VIP or have special connections.

You can in almost any city. Call a cab company with your shopping list.

My friend once got pocorn delivered at 3 am in Portland. It cost $25, but he got his popcorn.

Rufus Lee King

2012-01-31 08:51:36 PM

Look, I'm not a groupie. I told Robert Planet, I told Elton John, all those big guys...

farm1.static.flickr.com

"Robert Planet"?

Loucifer

2012-01-31 08:52:09 PM

Extra cheese. Extra sauce.

Rat

2012-01-31 08:53:02 PM

Can I get the Super Stretch Beaded delivered right to my door? I wore out the last one and well, you get my drift.

© Was that out loud?

Seth'n'Spectrum

2012-01-31 08:53:11 PM

/because it was on my computer

Forgot_my_password_again

2012-01-31 08:55:22 PM

Theres a lot of buzz about this story

Cup_O_Jo

2012-01-31 08:55:33 PM

YES!

KrispyKritter

2012-01-31 08:56:35 PM

that bobble-head pecker on all the papa john's pizza commercials would make a good human vibrator. boing boing boing, every farkin commercial the guys head is bouncing around. makes me slightly sea sick.

/papa john's human vibrator big pepperoni roll

skinink

2012-01-31 08:56:57 PM

Hold the cockrings.

OtherLittleGuy

2012-01-31 08:58:12 PM

So, the busty blonde in the flimsy babydoll nightie invites him in, and they end up making a pizza?

ko_kyi

2012-01-31 08:59:43 PM

60 minutes seems fast, but those last 10 minutes seem like FOREVER

jingks

2012-01-31 08:59:57 PM

Sex toys for people too lazy to leave the house. Would not want to see images of their clientele.

trappedspirit

2012-01-31 09:00:35 PM

Rufus Lee King: Look, I'm not a groupie. I told Robert Planet, I told Elton John, all those big guys...

[farm1.static.flickr.com image 500x375]

"Robert Planet"?

Tahllunari

2012-01-31 09:01:43 PM

A receptionist at the shop, which is located on Bergen Street near Flatbush Avenue

Sure. Why not?

beefoe

2012-01-31 09:02:49 PM

did anyone else get the "Peach Pit" kosher deli ad with this article?

Yeah, I'll take the butt plug, astrolube, some nipple clamps some brisket and whole wheat challah.

Day_Old_Dutchie

2012-01-31 09:03:07 PM

Obligatory
img405.imageshack.us

AnotherOldFart

2012-01-31 09:03:18 PM

Good idea for a franchise but Clementine Courier does not deliver on weekends.
meowcheese.com

TexanBoy

2012-01-31 09:04:49 PM

Can't it come any quicker than that?

Degenz

2012-01-31 09:04:57 PM

Uh huh, sure. You degenerates think its just a harmless sex toy now, but where will it end? Today a dildo, tomorrow a ball gag, the day after that is a Herman Munster doll. Well, where do we draw the line? Next thing you know people will stop going to church and voting for dem-o-rats!

Ed Finnerty

2012-01-31 09:04:58 PM

Who am I kidding? I'd be calling to cancel after a few minutes.

"But I don't need it anymore."

Submitted First With a Better Headline

2012-01-31 09:05:22 PM

OtherLittleGuy: So, the busty blonde in the flimsy babydoll nightie invites him in, and they end up making a pizza?

I came here to make some similar comment, but yours was better.

Wise_Guy

2012-01-31 09:07:41 PM

"Avoid the 'Roid"

Kumana Wanalaia

2012-01-31 09:09:45 PM

Why is prostitution illegal?

Selling is legal; f*cking is legal.

Why should selling f*cking be illegal?

farbekrieg

2012-01-31 09:13:38 PM

Rufus Lee King: Look, I'm not a groupie. I told Robert Planet, I told Elton John, all those big guys...

[farm1.static.flickr.com image 500x375]

"Robert Planet"?

captain planet has the worst alter ego

jimmythrust

2012-01-31 09:14:44 PM

Kumana Wanalaia: Why is prostitution illegal?

Selling is legal; f*cking is legal.

Why should selling f*cking be illegal?

Give credit where it is due, friendo!!!

jmr61

2012-01-31 09:15:42 PM

Toy?

Hell, I can have a whole, live female here in an hour. Don't see the big deal.

steamingpile

2012-01-31 09:17:02 PM

I will get you there in less than 15 minutes.

Elvis Da King

2012-01-31 09:19:07 PM

OtherLittleGuy: So, the busty blonde in the flimsy babydoll nightie invites him in, and they end up making a pizza?

Actually he ends up locked in the spare bedroom with the other delivery men.

lennavan

2012-01-31 09:19:37 PM

Sucks to be female delivery girls.

LeroyBourne

2012-01-31 09:20:31 PM

ahh yes, for those prude boys that have a problem with 'p*ssy thumper' shopping with their gf's. I see them hanging outside VS waiting for their gf's to get done shopping.

Displayed 50 of 109 comments