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(Yahoo) Repeat The most polite "Fark you, you S.O.B." letter it's ever been subby's pleasure to read   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 259
More: Repeat, Houston, Texas, Toronto, Canada, Pleasanton, pleasures, Hugh Hewitt  
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32729 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2012 at 7:24 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



259 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-01-31 05:35:03 PM
My favorite part of the whole letter:


Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.


Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the former master was reading this masterpiece!
 
2012-01-31 05:40:05 PM
Did the term "pwnage" exist in the 1860s, because that's what we're reading here? Pure, 100%, unadulterated, glorious pwnage.
 
2012-01-31 05:55:25 PM
bamph: Did the term "pwnage" exist in the 1860s, because that's what we're reading here? Pure, 100%, unadulterated, glorious pwnage.

I think they were trying to phase that word out by then.

/full of what modern day pwnage has come to mean, +1
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2012-01-31 06:05:23 PM
Just.... beautiful.
 
2012-01-31 06:08:35 PM
Oh wow ...

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy,-the folks call her Mrs. Anderson,-and the children-Milly, Jane, and Grundy-go to school and are learning well

....

Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

....

we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor's visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams's Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future


This man is my personal hero.
 
2012-01-31 06:15:19 PM
img826.imageshack.us

Never in the history of this image has it ever been more appropriate.
 
2012-01-31 06:27:31 PM
That was goddamned beautiful.
 
2012-01-31 07:28:26 PM
He's so well-spoken.
 
2012-01-31 07:28:48 PM
Quite authentic.
 
2012-01-31 07:30:02 PM
My God, its full of stars.

1.bp.blogspot.com

/That was awesome.
//Thanks, subby.
 
2012-01-31 07:31:17 PM
(it'sbeautiful.jpg)

They should've sent a poet. Oh snap, they did.
 
2012-01-31 07:31:21 PM
Fark needs an 'uppity' tag
 
2012-01-31 07:31:49 PM
logruszed: He's so well-spoken.

Clean and well spoken. He should run for president.
Joe Biden
 
2012-01-31 07:31:54 PM
Farking brilliant!
 
2012-01-31 07:31:57 PM
Well, that's what you get for teaching them to read...they get all uppity and forget their station!

/ugh, I feel slimy typing that.
 
2012-01-31 07:33:12 PM
Oh snap indeed.
 
2012-01-31 07:33:39 PM
nekom: bamph: Did the term "pwnage" exist in the 1860s, because that's what we're reading here? Pure, 100%, unadulterated, glorious pwnage.

I think they were trying to phase that word out by then.

/full of what modern day pwnage has come to mean, +1


I read that in Richard Pyror's voice and added "PS: Kiss. My. Black Ass, Honkey
 
2012-01-31 07:34:45 PM
Heavily edited or not written by a slave.
 
2012-01-31 07:38:04 PM
Fake!
 
2012-01-31 07:39:04 PM
A violent slave-owner who murdered a Union soldier and wanted to have his former slave move back South to work for him like in the good old days, on the promise that he won't beat him as much as he used to, with a "Hey, just because Lincoln freed you doesn't mean you can't be my property again, right?" attitude.

I just KNOW this guy has to be some republican Sentator's ancestor! No doubt about it!
 
jvl
2012-01-31 07:40:07 PM
Shenanigans.
 
2012-01-31 07:40:41 PM
calbert: Fark needs an 'uppity' tag

That way, the politics tab would only need two tags. (Hero being the other one)
 
2012-01-31 07:40:59 PM
logruszed: He's so well-spoken.

Indeed. Remarkably eloquent. I didn't know slaves got such good educations in those days. You'd be hard pressed to find a modern day teenager who knows what the word "recompense" means.
 
2012-01-31 07:41:08 PM
bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

The link to the real article mentions the letter was dictated. I presume the actual writer was an educated man who translated the former slave's vernacular into then-current American English.
 
2012-01-31 07:42:26 PM
Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

So Jourdon was obviously really great, but this George guy deserves some props too.
 
2012-01-31 07:42:27 PM
9beers: Fake!


Seconded.
 
2012-01-31 07:42:57 PM
bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

I was thinking the same. Did the slave master give him classes in prose?
 
2012-01-31 07:44:04 PM
pdieten: bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

The link to the real article mentions the letter was dictated. I presume the actual writer was an educated man who translated the former slave's vernacular into then-current American English.


That makes much more sense.
 
2012-01-31 07:44:04 PM
Guy sounds like he was a badass.
 
2012-01-31 07:44:29 PM
civil war troll thread!
 
2012-01-31 07:44:42 PM
It makes mention of pdieten: bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

The link to the real article mentions the letter was dictated. I presume the actual writer was an educated man who translated the former slave's vernacular into then-current American English.


It makes mention to send the eleven thousand dollars to a lawyer. It was probably a lawyer that was helping former slaves send letters to their masters for a cut of the back pay.
 
2012-01-31 07:45:11 PM
jingks: bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

I was thinking the same. Did the slave master give him classes in prose?


Weren't their people employed to write down what people told them to do? I mean for those who could not read or write, they would pay someone to read or write the item for them.

Else perhaps the slave was a house slave that helped with day to day things.
 
2012-01-31 07:45:46 PM
Nice.
 
2012-01-31 07:47:20 PM
jingks: bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

I was thinking the same. Did the slave master give him classes in prose?


Notice the mention that the wages should be sent to a lawyer? I would guess that the specifics were dictated to this (quaker?) lawyer who just dressed it up but let it stand as the monument to man who did very well for himself using very little.
 
2012-01-31 07:47:45 PM
hoho19: It makes mention of pdieten: bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.

The link to the real article mentions the letter was dictated. I presume the actual writer was an educated man who translated the former slave's vernacular into then-current American English.

It makes mention to send the eleven thousand dollars to a lawyer. It was probably a lawyer that was helping former slaves send letters to their masters for a cut of the back pay.


Imagining a Jacoby and Jacoby style lawyer involved makes chuckle. I wonder how much lemonade the ol Colonel spat when he read the letter.
 
2012-01-31 07:48:52 PM
I'm glad to see there were snarky sob's with great senses of humor way back then.
 
2012-01-31 07:49:25 PM
It's real. Here it is printed in the New York Tribune:

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-01-31 07:49:30 PM
I'm confused. I've been led to believe by Teabaggers that slavery wasn't a big deal, and that the Civil War was a states rights/property rights issue, which is why they want it edited out of the history books. Surely if that were true, letters like this wouldn't exist, as all those African-Americans needed to do was use their bootstraps to find a well-paying job, and stop being such a welfare drain on their poor owners? What's a poor Canadian to believe?
 
2012-01-31 07:49:56 PM
I'm just going to mention,yet again, the win in this phrase : Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

Win win WINNING win win.
 
2012-01-31 07:51:03 PM
Nadie_AZ: jingks: bob_ross: Heavily edited or not written by a slave.with

I was thinking the same. Did the slave master give him classes in prose?

Weren't their people employed to write down what people told them to do? I mean for those who could not read or write, they would pay someone to read or write the item for them.

Else perhaps the slave was a house slave that helped with day to day things.


another former slave who was a tolerable hand with a pen:
 
2012-01-31 07:51:04 PM
That was goddamn awesome. Even if the letter had been written using the language Mr. Anderson was comfortable using, rather than the more eloquent words the person who took the dictation used, it still would have been goddamn awesome. I don't know if I was in Mr. Anderson's position, using whatever English I knew, I could have been that gracious, despite what I had to live through for 32 years.

I gotta say, that's major brass balls on the former slave owner's part to actually request that a freed man come back and go back to being a slave.
 
2012-01-31 07:51:32 PM
tl; dr
 
2012-01-31 07:51:39 PM
Nadie_AZ: Weren't their people employed to write down what people told them to do? I mean for those who could not read or write, they would pay someone to read or write the item for them.

Scriveners.

/Also, what do you mean, THEIR people?
 
2012-01-31 07:51:55 PM
I have to wonder if he ever got any response. Something tells me he didn't.
 
2012-01-31 07:52:24 PM
Just awesome!
 
2012-01-31 07:53:03 PM
Coco LaFemme: I gotta say, that's major brass balls on the former slave owner's part to actually request that a freed man come back and go back to being a slave.

My guess he was asking him to come back to work for wages, but that still takes an awful lot of chutzpah.
 
2012-01-31 07:53:11 PM
Cletus from Canuckistan: It's real. Here it is printed in the New York Tribune:

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 640x717]


Printed in the newspaper? It MUST be true! No paper would ever fabricate a story!
 
2012-01-31 07:55:32 PM
Gen. Patton Harvey Oswalt: I'm confused. I've been led to believe by Teabaggers that slavery wasn't a big deal, and that the Civil War was a states rights/property rights issue, which is why they want it edited out of the history books. Surely if that were true, letters like this wouldn't exist, as all those African-Americans needed to do was use their bootstraps to find a well-paying job, and stop being such a welfare drain on their poor owners? What's a poor Canadian to believe?

Are you actually an idiot, or do you just play one on Fark?
 
2012-01-31 07:55:56 PM
according to the tennessee tea party, slavery was a good thing, so this letter is immaterial.
 
2012-01-31 07:55:58 PM
jagec: Well, that's what you get for teaching them to read...they get all uppity and forget their station!

/ugh, I feel slimy typing that.


Frederick Douglas wrote that his owner said much the same when he found out his wife taught Frederick to read. "Once they learn to read, they will never be satisfied as slaves."
 
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