so you don't have to click every farking slide:

1) Milwaukee's Best
2) Keystone Light
3) Budweiser
4) Busch
5) Schlitz

oh hamburgers!

Only domesticated animals should be kept as pets. Domestication is not just a big word, it's an important concept.

The trade in wild animals often damages the natural environments that these animals are taken from and poses risks to the rest of society. Risks such as the environmental damage that released pythons are doing to the Florida Everglades right now, devastating indigenous local fauna as in this link from earlier today. IMHO the importation or possession (by someone other than a licensed professional) of any non-domesticated species as a pet should be illegal under federal law.

Yawn. Yet another veteran who claims he's special and the rules don't apply to him because he was in the military. If you wanted your opinion to count, you should have gone to college and made something of yourself. Believe it or not, people in authority tend to be more concerned with what affluent people who actually accomplish things have to say more than ditch diggers who had no options after high school than joining the military.

It's true, kids. We fought the Vietnam War over monkeys. Don't bother to look it up, the man won't tell you the truth. But it was all about the monkeys.

says disabled Vietnam veteran who lives in fear of the authorities taking away his monkeys 40 years in the past.

Was it this guy?

I'll never forget my fateful trip down the Mekong in 71. NVA had just moved to reclaim some jungle about 10 klicks south of our firebase, hoping to disrupt the precious, precious flow of monkeys into Saigon. Whatever you've heard about the things that happened to folks in 'Nam (and I've seen them all), it all pales in comparison to what happens when you're holed up in some god-forsaken hut, checking and checking the rounds in your sidearm to make sure you've got one left for yourself, and you realize that there's NO GODDAMN MONKEYS.

Anyway, we had orders from some guys in suits to escort a convoy of life-sustaining monkeys down the river. We had to march 70 miles in a day and a half, riding point on a bunch of rafts stacked a mile high with barrels (barrels being the preferred storage containers for monkeys). We put some grass and shiat around them to conceal their true nature, but Charlie knew. Charlie always knew.

About halfway there, during which time we had already lost five men to Marlon Brando's ever-hungering supply lines, they got the drop on us. 500 men in black pajamas and pointy triangle hats popped out of the ground and hit us with rocket-propelled punji sticks, which had been tipped with dog poo.

To escape, I had to leap from raft to raft, grabbing on to rythmically swinging vines, jumping over alligators, electric eels, and barrels from the rafts up ahead, which were being flung at me from a fifty-foot tall Ho Chi Minh. I barely had the strength to warn command after I escaped, but not before losing three limbs and an eye. I still need fifteen helper monkeys to get around after that god forsaken day.

In short, stay out of my booze.

Pray for Mojo...

Nothing should be allowed to come between a man and his monkey. Especially if he's a Vietnam Nam vet with access to firearms. Just one question because I missed it in the article - what gives Louisiana animal cops the right to confiscate animals being kept in Texas?

Aw fark all you farkers. These people, for all you know, could be providing an awesome home, family and environment for their adopted pets. They seem to see it as a right, like to be left alone, as they are not hurting anyone else, sort of like I see using marijuana or other chemistry of my choice.

Plenty of laws exist to protect or provide restitution to anyone I or they may harm in the process. Yeah, wild animals should generally not be kept as pets, specifically because of the danger they may pose to humans.

OTOH Plenty of historically domesticated animals have disfigured, killed or infected human beings over the years. It is sufficient to proscribe against exotic pet ownership exempting classes of existing owners without jackbooted interventionism.

And what is it that makes any of you so sure that humanity has fark all even one clue about what is best for anyone except the human that decides?

Regulation may be necessary, occasionally if the boundaries of what affects the greater good are transgressed. Regulation that protects the 'Cheeldren' or the innersent fuzzy animals often fails to meet the needs of all.

This case, knowing how the "law" has been enforced in the past in Loozyanne, might well be overstepping. FTFA it's impossible to tell. Railing away at people that feel they're being oppressed is lame. Welcome to Fark?

yeah sure right. too bad so many laws exist because people like you are idiots.

look at the ten commandments. you actually have to tell someone that killing someone else is wrong, make it a biggie, post a reminder? yes, they did. because so many are so stupid.

I read this article the other day. These people strike me as just another over-reactionary, melodramatic couple of Tea-Baggers who haven't the slightest real understanding of the Constitution that they're always screeching about. And that bullshiat about "this isn't what I fought for..."?!?! Give me a freaking break dude, you were in Vietnam. You fought for a bunch of rice paddy-squatting dinks, most of whom couldn't be bothered to summon the courage to fight for their own damn freedom.

/wanna buy a case of ARVN rifles?
//they've never been fired and only dropped once ;)

You would be surprised what they do without a warrant, for starters; not what they can do, but what they do, every single day. It may be a little unrelated, but this is why I haven't flown on an airplane in over fifteen years and have no intention of starting again anytime soon. It's not based on what they can do.

Other than that...monkeys? oh the irony...

/here we come...walking down the street
/obscure? as I am shamefully aware

So keeping the animals cooped up in RVs and hidden away is good for them? I understand they love their pets, but are they really thinking about what's best for the animal, or is it "they're MINE!!"

Everybody's got something to hide...

I wrap myself in the flag, so do what I want you America-hating bastards!

/sad

This isn't 'Nam, there are rules!

Speaking from personal experience, monkeys are vile, vile pets. I had two Rhesus monkeys when I lived in the Philippines. They are perpetual two year old kids. They bite, shiat all over everything, never want to be obedient, constantly challenge you, you smack them into compliance, and the next minute they're fighting you again. They are not pets.

"liebe mein affe-monkey!"

If you don't enforce the law, then it becomes a free-for-all where everyone brings home monkeys, learns the hard way that they're poor pets, and releases them into the treetops for them to be trampled by sky-elephants.

/seriously, Heineken sucks.

xl5150: Yawn. Yet another veteran who claims he's special and the rules don't apply to him because he was in the military. If you wanted your opinion to count, you should have gone to college and made something of yourself. Believe it or not, people in authority tend to be more concerned with what affluent people who actually accomplish things have to say more than ditch diggers who had no options after high school than joining the military.


Fark you. I'm not military, but I have no problem giving combat vets tax free status for life. I mean, just fark you. You piece of hipster shiat.

monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, Baboon, Baboon, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey

Even monkeys know Heineken sucks.

mongbiohazard: Only domesticated animals should be kept as pets. Domestication is not just a big word, it's an important concept.

The trade in wild animals often damages the natural environments that these animals are taken from and poses risks to the rest of society. Risks such as the environmental damage that released pythons are doing to the Florida Everglades right now, devastating indigenous local fauna as in this link from earlier today. IMHO the importation or possession (by someone other than a licensed professional) of any non-domesticated species as a pet should be illegal under federal law.

You can take my iguana, parrots, and reef aquarium from my cold, dead hands.

/all captive bred
//so fark you

Ed Finnerty: When it comes down to it, all pets are just emergency food.

Whatever. My wife has a lot more meat on her than my cats. Plus if I ate them first, I'd have to split the cats with her.

/just kidding, honey

Captain_Ballbeard: xl5150: Yawn. Yet another veteran who claims he's special and the rules don't apply to him because he was in the military. If you wanted your opinion to count, you should have gone to college and made something of yourself. Believe it or not, people in authority tend to be more concerned with what affluent people who actually accomplish things have to say more than ditch diggers who had no options after high school than joining the military.


Fark you. I'm not military, but I have no problem giving combat vets tax free status for life. I mean, just fark you. You piece of hipster shiat.

I know you're not military because you can write a passable sentence. And while I may not agree with what you said, there are plenty of low-IQ military men who will defend to their death your right to say it.

i wonder if he spanks them

"It's not what I fought for ... to be treated like this," said Jim Clark, a 60-year-old disabled Vietnam veteran, as tears streaked his face. "It's not right to think they can come into your house and do this to you with or without a warrant."

"To take these guys out of their home and throw them in a zoo? It's like taking a little child out of a mansion and throwing it into the ghetto," Donita Clark said. "It's that devastating. It's destroyed us both emotionally. We'll never be the same."

Look, I feel bad for ya, but what a couple of drama queens.

Well, we made our pets into just another consumer product, and this is the kind of stuff that happens. People can't just have a dog or a cat, they need to have a pet that no one else has, a special pet, a pet unique to them and to their values and lifestyle, and most importantly--something that makes them cooler than everyone else.

So I'm getting a patchent. Oh, they're pretty obscure--you've probably never heard of them.

/Can you imagine the diaper bill for four eternal babies?

Help! Gubmint's taking our monkey butlers!

Troll Tuesday. Is there a convention in town for you guys?

Xl5150: The individual in question was probably drafted. Because at that time (this was before the 1990s when you were born), there was a draft.

cryptozoophiliac: Xl5150: The individual in question was probably drafted. Because at that time (this was before the 1990s when you were born), there was a draft.

And college students were exempt while ditch-diggers weren't. Again, if you were on track to actually make something of yourself, you had nothing to worry about.

And you are on track to being the world's biggest troll. Not everyone got deferments, and some people were naive enough to believe in the cause, just like today. So really, you're calling patriots stupid, and that's pretty ballsy, so I guess you got that going for you.

cryptozoophiliac: And you are on track to being the world's biggest troll. Not everyone got deferments, and some people were naive enough to believe in the cause, just like today. So really, you're calling patriots stupid, and that's pretty ballsy, so I guess you got that going for you.

I think you might have gotten me all wrong. In the words of Judge Smails, "The world needs ditch-diggers too!" Some people work hard to make sure they're not the ditch-diggers, and the people who don't work hard are the ones who end up doing the dirty work because they don't have any other options. I could have screwed around during high school and then when I was 18 realized I had to actually do something with my life and had no option other than joining the military and ultimately ending up as a section manager at Wal-Mart. As it stands, I worked hard and prepared myself to get into college.

tukatz:

O... M... G... Just adopt some real children already.



Well you see, the difference is, if you beat your children they call social services, but if you beat your monkey they just ask you to wash your hands afterwards

Gyrfalcon: And how many of those five beers did your monkeys bring you, dear?

Seven.