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(Log Cabin Democrat)   Man beats ex unconscious, sticks around to discuss repairing their relationship   (thecabin.net) divider line 99
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8715 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2012 at 1:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-31 03:06:12 PM

FarkinHostile: Need Help Soonish: Drama Queens/Kings are a different sort of villain and I have NO pity to spare them. They make messes of their lives specifically so they can biatch and moan about it. Ungh.



I see you know my Ex-wife.


I know many, MANY like her. My brother is married to one... She starts physical fights with him, and then calls the cops when he pushes her away, or has the audacity to try and stop her from hitting him.

I have a very special loathing for people like that :/
 
2012-01-31 03:08:56 PM

Need Help Soonish: FarkinHostile: Need Help Soonish: Drama Queens/Kings are a different sort of villain and I have NO pity to spare them. They make messes of their lives specifically so they can biatch and moan about it. Ungh.



I see you know my Ex-wife.

I know many, MANY like her. My brother is married to one... She starts physical fights with him, and then calls the cops when he pushes her away, or has the audacity to try and stop her from hitting him.

I have a very special loathing for people like that :/


Lived with an abusive ex. The day I saw her drive away in her U-Haul will always be one of the best days of my entire life.
 
2012-01-31 03:09:03 PM

Need Help Soonish: FarkinHostile: Need Help Soonish: Drama Queens/Kings are a different sort of villain and I have NO pity to spare them. They make messes of their lives specifically so they can biatch and moan about it. Ungh.



I see you know my Ex-wife.

I know many, MANY like her. My brother is married to one... She starts physical fights with him, and then calls the cops when he pushes her away, or has the audacity to try and stop her from hitting him.

I have a very special loathing for people like that :/


"You're a man, you can take it", is not an excuse.
 
2012-01-31 03:16:21 PM

elkraf: Didn't want to be arrested for "hit and run".


I wanted to boo this at first but then got angry i didn't think of it.

Well played.
 
2012-01-31 03:17:11 PM
Lived in Conway several years. Wish the article had some names!
 
2012-01-31 03:18:21 PM

Need Help Soonish: FarkinHostile: Need Help Soonish: Drama Queens/Kings are a different sort of villain and I have NO pity to spare them. They make messes of their lives specifically so they can biatch and moan about it. Ungh.



I see you know my Ex-wife.

I know many, MANY like her. My brother is married to one... She starts physical fights with him, and then calls the cops when he pushes her away, or has the audacity to try and stop her from hitting him.

I have a very special loathing for people like that :/


Yeah. It's hard as hell to leave---but the abused spouse has got to go, because the abuser won't stop, it will just get worse. It doesn't matter what she says, or how she apologizes, or how sorry she says she is or how different she seems or how much she says things are going to change or how long it's been since she's done it.

Or what she says to convince him it's his fault. Or, more usually, "At least partly" his fault.

He needs to leave.

It won't stop. Leaving is hard, it's hell, and it will only get harder, because abusers manipulate the situation to trap you and make it harder and harder to leave them. You have to just take the situation you've got and go.

Just be there for him if he gets up the will to leave. Let him know you're there for him. Abuse hits you emotionally no matter whether you're a man or a woman.
 
2012-01-31 03:21:54 PM

Julie Cochrane: I'm using "skills" in the sense that they use them in DBT for treating Borderline Personality Disorder


I get what you're saying, and I've actually read up on using DBT for victims of domestic violence. Though I do take issue (not with you, by any means) that because you have been a victim of domestic violence, you are automatically on the same mental page as BPD. These two are just not synonymous in my mind.

But as I stated earlier, everyone's experiences are vastly differential...
 
2012-01-31 03:23:40 PM
I had a friend whose wife beat him. Then one day she pulled a loaded gun on him and stuck it against his head and said she'd rather shoot him than live with him for one more minute.

The next day she apologized and he told her he didn't want to be married to her anymore, and they got a divorce, finally.

He's dead now from cancer, but he lived quite a few years after the divorce. He remarried a lovely woman. Beautiful, sweet disposition, they were very happy for the rest of his life.

He's lucky he didn't go out of the abusive marriage feet first.

Spousal abuse by women is no joke. A wife who beats can kill you just as dead as a husband who beats.
 
2012-01-31 03:29:07 PM
What do you say to a battered woman?....
 
2012-01-31 03:29:47 PM

JackieRabbit: What do you say to a battered woman?....


Pass the tartar sauce?
 
2012-01-31 03:29:51 PM
Was it the second time that he was meeting the woman?
 
2012-01-31 03:30:36 PM

Julie Cochrane: Need Help Soonish: FarkinHostile: Need Help Soonish: Drama Queens/Kings are a different sort of villain and I have NO pity to spare them. They make messes of their lives specifically so they can biatch and moan about it. Ungh.



I see you know my Ex-wife.

I know many, MANY like her. My brother is married to one... She starts physical fights with him, and then calls the cops when he pushes her away, or has the audacity to try and stop her from hitting him.

I have a very special loathing for people like that :/

Yeah. It's hard as hell to leave---but the abused spouse has got to go, because the abuser won't stop, it will just get worse. It doesn't matter what she says, or how she apologizes, or how sorry she says she is or how different she seems or how much she says things are going to change or how long it's been since she's done it.

Or what she says to convince him it's his fault. Or, more usually, "At least partly" his fault.

He needs to leave.

It won't stop. Leaving is hard, it's hell, and it will only get harder, because abusers manipulate the situation to trap you and make it harder and harder to leave them. You have to just take the situation you've got and go.

Just be there for him if he gets up the will to leave. Let him know you're there for him. Abuse hits you emotionally no matter whether you're a man or a woman.


The main problem is she is BiPo, wont take meds, and my brother is a dumb ass.

Every couple of years she starts a physical fight with him, and gets him thrown in jail over it.

I figure it will take hard time over her ass to straighten him out... if that would even work.

She has Jerry Springer Show syndrome... Makes me stabby.

///and yes, my brother is a dumb ass for being with her, and allowing her to goad him into situations where he has to get physical to escape.
 
2012-01-31 03:36:49 PM
The two happiest days of a mans life. When he first meets his bride to be, and when the divorce is final! Oh, the wedding day? No, I said happy...
 
2012-01-31 03:40:35 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Julie Cochrane: I'm using "skills" in the sense that they use them in DBT for treating Borderline Personality Disorder

I get what you're saying, and I've actually read up on using DBT for victims of domestic violence. Though I do take issue (not with you, by any means) that because you have been a victim of domestic violence, you are automatically on the same mental page as BPD. These two are just not synonymous in my mind.

But as I stated earlier, everyone's experiences are vastly differential...


With my PTSD I had some of the symptoms of borderline, but not enough to meet the diagnostic criteria. There was room available in the DBT-derived group and it was worth trying to see if it helped. I don't know the diagnoses of the other people in it. They don't necessarily have borderline. Some may, some may not.

My history is complicated. The psycho-stalker ex-bf who threatened to kill me was actually back from HS and is so long ago that it counts as a small makeup bag tucked away in my carry-on luggage.

Meh.

Complicated history, increasingly less complicated reality, thank god. But still too high a drama quotient for my tastes.
 
2012-01-31 03:41:22 PM
So she's going to get a protection order against this guy. Smart move lady. Somehow I don't think he's the type who would obey one.
 
2012-01-31 03:50:35 PM

Need Help Soonish: ///and yes, my brother is a dumb ass for being with her, and allowing her to goad him into situations where he has to get physical to escape.


Ended a 15 year marriage over this bullshiat four years ago. She tried this "physical" bullshiat on me twice after I filed for divorce, called the cops on me once while I out running errands and once she came to the house after I filed for divorce and had her kicked out. Luckily, both times they left b/c there was no evidence to back her claims (in other words, she was a coward for not slamming her own head against the wall, etc, and I followed my lawyers' instructions the second time and prevented her from entering the locked house).

The ex was/is bipolar/bpd/drug addicted and I am generally passive. I was a codependent fool, took my son to wake me up. He turns 18 next month and he told me that getting custody of him was the best thing I ever did for him.

She never took her meds either, unless you count 20-30 vicodin a day at her worst "taking meds". She's moved on to meth now, I hear, from her daughter.
 
2012-01-31 03:50:40 PM

Need Help Soonish:

The main problem is she is BiPo, wont take meds, and my brother is a dumb ass.

Every couple of years she starts a physical fight with him, and gets him thrown in jail over it.

I figure it will take hard time over her ass to straighten him out... if that would even work.

She has Jerry Springer Show syndrome... Makes me stabby.

///and yes, my brother is a dumb ass for being with her, and allowing her to goad him into situations where he has to get physical to escape.


Oh, yikes. One of the "bad" nuts (no meds).

I'm really sorry for your situation.

My sister has been unwilling to be convinced that she needs a psychiatrist and meds. Her behavior is more painful for other people than it is for her, so she has little incentive. Fortunately she hasn't done anything to get my brother-in-law thrown in jail or to hurt my nephew, but she's gotten herself pretty close to being single a time or two.

Sometimes I'm ashamed of the selfish little voice that tells me I look so sane and well-behaved by comparison.


/I'm one of the good nuts---see my pdoc and tpist, take the meds
 
2012-01-31 03:51:00 PM

BurnShrike: JackieRabbit: What do you say to a battered woman?....

Pass the tartar sauce?


Yea, I lol'd
 
2012-01-31 03:52:28 PM

Julie Cochrane: He needs to leave.


I did.

Julie Cochrane: Spousal abuse by women is no joke. A wife who beats can kill you just as dead as a husband who beats.


Yup, and I think that there are many, many more female on male DV then we think. If you think it is hard for a woman to admit being abused by a man, try walking a mile in the shoes of a man who has been physically/mentally abused by a woman.

Like me.

It's not easy to admit such a thing in the first place. Its makes you feel like a punk, like you are less of a man, your very manhood is threatened by such a thing. Oh, you laugh at first "How cute. She hit me." But it progresses to more extreme violence, and even though she was unable to physically injure me, it did still injure my psyche.

I wonder if this is because some women have lost all fear of men physically defending themselves, or is just how it's always been and we just hear about it now. I'm leaning toward a little of both. I think women are just as violent as men, but because back in the day they would get hit back they didn't dare do it. Now, with the DV laws favoring women, and many men like me unable to defend themselves against a woman due to being civilized, some feel they have a free pass to assault their partner.


Domestic violence, no matter who does it, no matter what the reason, is horrible, horrible, horrible.
 
2012-01-31 03:53:33 PM

Julie Cochrane: My sister has been unwilling to be convinced that she needs a psychiatrist and meds. Her behavior is more painful for other people than it is for her, so she has little incentive. Fortunately she hasn't done anything to get my brother-in-law thrown in jail or to hurt my nephew, but she's gotten herself pretty close to being single a time or two.


Tell him to run like hell.................it may be one of the most painful things he does, but he will be happy later. I am, sure as hell.

Had forgotten what a life without chaos was like. Being debt free is nice too...................
 
2012-01-31 03:54:23 PM
farm5.static.flickr.com
 
2012-01-31 03:56:54 PM

FarkinHostile: Oh, you laugh at first "How cute. She hit me." But it progresses to more extreme violence, and even though she was unable to physically injure me, it did still injure my psyche.


Yup....took me a long time to quit playing the mental tapes. Glad that my current wife is patient and understanding.

The ex called me yesterday for the first time in about a year, trying to play "mom". I was cordial, but I felt like I had to take a shower afterward.

She had that unnatural up-beat lilt to her voice that I recognized from the past as being fscked up on pain pills.

Felt icky and wanted to take a shower afterwards. At least she remembered that my name isn't motherfarker.
 
2012-01-31 03:57:51 PM

noreallythatsmyname: The two happiest days of a mans life. When he first meets his bride to be, and when the divorce is final! Oh, the wedding day? No, I said happy...


I dunno, turning 21 and being able to drink a bar and buy beer whenever you feel like it trumps those. I will give you second and third happiest though...
 
2012-01-31 03:58:27 PM
Pete, meet repeat.....been a long day
 
2012-01-31 03:59:01 PM

umad: venerant: This is all hearsay so far.

THIS

I learned how the law works in the false rape thread the other day. This guy hasn't been convicted of beating her up so he shouldn't be charged with beating her up because he technically isn't guilty. It is pretty confusing how this works, so we may have to wait for Whiteknightus to show up and explain it better.


What's your angle? You can charge him but he has to be guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. People have faked assaults before, and believably:

http://toshcommunity.comedycentral.com/Video/Woman-fakes-rape-so-she- c ould-move/050BFFFFF0251D874001B0176F9C0
 
2012-01-31 04:00:55 PM

FarkinHostile: Julie Cochrane: He needs to leave.

I did.

Julie Cochrane: Spousal abuse by women is no joke. A wife who beats can kill you just as dead as a husband who beats.

Yup, and I think that there are many, many more female on male DV then we think. If you think it is hard for a woman to admit being abused by a man, try walking a mile in the shoes of a man who has been physically/mentally abused by a woman.

Like me.

It's not easy to admit such a thing in the first place. Its makes you feel like a punk, like you are less of a man, your very manhood is threatened by such a thing. Oh, you laugh at first "How cute. She hit me." But it progresses to more extreme violence, and even though she was unable to physically injure me, it did still injure my psyche.

I wonder if this is because some women have lost all fear of men physically defending themselves, or is just how it's always been and we just hear about it now. I'm leaning toward a little of both. I think women are just as violent as men, but because back in the day they would get hit back they didn't dare do it. Now, with the DV laws favoring women, and many men like me unable to defend themselves against a woman due to being civilized, some feel they have a free pass to assault their partner.


Domestic violence, no matter who does it, no matter what the reason, is horrible, horrible, horrible.


I dunno, I troll the recent arrests website for shiats n grins looking for people I know and you would be surprised how many women are getting tossed in the county clink for domestic bettery. I would say, call the cops the first time. She'll stop or end up doing short stint as a repeat offender eventually. That will help you big time in the divorce to boot!
 
2012-01-31 04:02:53 PM
Sounds like a regular Farker to me.

Because beating up women is funny ...

So funny ...

She probably had it coming. Because what woman doesn't need a beatdown every now and then, amiright? It's good for them ... esp. when they lose consciousness. They get a nice rest out of it, you get a little peace and quiet, when she is no longer screaming and begging you to stop hitting her. Of course, then it stops being fun, so then you gotta wait around for her to come to so you can discuss your relationship some more.

Women. I don't understand why they don't like it when men beat the fark out of them. They must be crazy.
 
2012-01-31 04:15:11 PM

Umeraken Ideut: /bitter about 2am phone calls from my sister telling me she can't stand his drunken ass
//she's still with his drunken ass
///get the same phone calls from a good friend of mine
////ditto


What on Earth did you do to cause them all to drink?!?!
/so sorry
 
2012-01-31 04:23:57 PM

venerant: What's your angle? You can charge him but he has to be guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. People have faked assaults before, and believably


No angle. I just thought I would share what I had learned. Apparently you are wrong about charging people. You can only charge them for a crime after they have been convicted of that crime. I know it doesn't make sense, but he said it all with so much conviction, so it must be true.
 
2012-01-31 04:26:30 PM

stonicus: Need Help Soonish: FarkinHostile: Need Help Soonish: Drama Queens/Kings are a different sort of villain and I have NO pity to spare them. They make messes of their lives specifically so they can biatch and moan about it. Ungh.



I see you know my Ex-wife.

I know many, MANY like her. My brother is married to one... She starts physical fights with him, and then calls the cops when he pushes her away, or has the audacity to try and stop her from hitting him.

I have a very special loathing for people like that :/

Lived with an abusive ex. The day I saw her drive away in her U-Haul will always be one of the best days of my entire life.


I gave mine the house, 90% of everything and moved across the farking country. Out of curiosity, I looked a while back at the old home on Street View. She gave it to her brother so she could run off and marry the next guy after me. Man, they let that place go to shiat and it's a dump now. So....I got mine? I guess?
 
2012-01-31 04:31:26 PM
Is that wrong?
 
2012-01-31 04:34:10 PM
"You can only charge them for a crime after they have been convicted of that crime"

cdn.hotstockmarket.com


Can't tell if you're trolling or just stupid...............
 
2012-01-31 04:42:57 PM
If you want "the bad boy" type, I immediately lose interest in you,
primarily because this sort of BS is what you'll get, and if you don't think enough of yourself to avoid situations like the one in the article, I'm not investing any energy worrying about you.
You had your chance, and you knew better. Didn't you...
DIDN'T YOU???!?!

or something....
 
2012-01-31 04:52:07 PM

Unhip1: If you want "the bad boy" type, I immediately lose interest in you,
primarily because this sort of BS is what you'll get, and if you don't think enough of yourself to avoid situations like the one in the article, I'm not investing any energy worrying about you.
You had your chance, and you knew better. Didn't you...
DIDN'T YOU???!?!

or something....


Egh, not all "Bad Boys" are this type... My BF plays in a metal band, rides a motorcycle, has long black hair, and is a professional pantie remover... He has never, ever, laid a hand on me in any violent way... In fact, It has never even crossed my mind that he might.

I had a BF in high school that everyone thought was the nicest dude ever... and more than once I was truly in fear for my well-being when we were alone.
 
2012-01-31 04:56:35 PM

Need Help Soonish: Unhip1: If you want "the bad boy" type, I immediately lose interest in you,
primarily because this sort of BS is what you'll get, and if you don't think enough of yourself to avoid situations like the one in the article, I'm not investing any energy worrying about you.
You had your chance, and you knew better. Didn't you...
DIDN'T YOU???!?!

or something....

Egh, not all "Bad Boys" are this type... My BF plays in a metal band, rides a motorcycle, has long black hair, and is a professional pantie remover... He has never, ever, laid a hand on me in any violent way... In fact, It has never even crossed my mind that he might.

I had a BF in high school that everyone thought was the nicest dude ever... and more than once I was truly in fear for my well-being when we were alone.


So....how do you get that job?
 
2012-01-31 05:00:56 PM

wildbill0712: Lived in Conway several years. Wish the article had some names!


Which of the seven last names shared by the residents of Conway, AR were you hoping to see?
 
2012-01-31 05:19:56 PM

MoronLessOff: Need Help Soonish: Unhip1: If you want "the bad boy" type, I immediately lose interest in you,
primarily because this sort of BS is what you'll get, and if you don't think enough of yourself to avoid situations like the one in the article, I'm not investing any energy worrying about you.
You had your chance, and you knew better. Didn't you...
DIDN'T YOU???!?!

or something....

Egh, not all "Bad Boys" are this type... My BF plays in a metal band, rides a motorcycle, has long black hair, and is a professional pantie remover... He has never, ever, laid a hand on me in any violent way... In fact, It has never even crossed my mind that he might.

I had a BF in high school that everyone thought was the nicest dude ever... and more than once I was truly in fear for my well-being when we were alone.

So....how do you get that job?


I remember the application process being very... sticky.

///I truly love my ol' man... Our entire relationship is based on playing video games, riding Harleys, and mind blowing sex... Its not a gig most women would be cool with LOL
 
2012-01-31 06:10:11 PM
Something tells me he didn't think his cunning plan through.
 
2012-01-31 06:25:13 PM

umad: venerant: What's your angle? You can charge him but he has to be guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. People have faked assaults before, and believably

No angle. I just thought I would share what I had learned. Apparently you are wrong about charging people. You can only charge them for a crime after they have been convicted of that crime. I know it doesn't make sense, but he said it all with so much conviction, so it must be true.


Um, OK?
 
2012-01-31 06:57:13 PM

venerant: Um, OK?


Sorry. I have been paraphrasing a certain Fark law talkin' guy's argument on why Crystal Magnum shouldn't be charged with anything from another thread.

Call it an experiment. It worked about as well as I thought it would when applied to the unfairer sex.
 
2012-01-31 07:04:43 PM

umad: Sorry. I have been paraphrasing a certain Fark law talkin' guy's argument on why Crystal Magnum shouldn't be charged with anything from another thread.
Call it an experiment. It worked about as well as I thought it would when applied to the unfairer sex.


Poor baby. I have some advice for you--if you keep obsessing about how horrible woman are, you'll never get laid. But you'll still want to. Have a nice life.
 
2012-01-31 07:21:09 PM

Need Help Soonish: MoronLessOff: Need Help Soonish: Unhip1: If you want "the bad boy" type, I immediately lose interest in you,
primarily because this sort of BS is what you'll get, and if you don't think enough of yourself to avoid situations like the one in the article, I'm not investing any energy worrying about you.
You had your chance, and you knew better. Didn't you...
DIDN'T YOU???!?!

or something....

Egh, not all "Bad Boys" are this type... My BF plays in a metal band, rides a motorcycle, has long black hair, and is a professional pantie remover... He has never, ever, laid a hand on me in any violent way... In fact, It has never even crossed my mind that he might.

I had a BF in high school that everyone thought was the nicest dude ever... and more than once I was truly in fear for my well-being when we were alone.

So....how do you get that job?

I remember the application process being very... sticky.

///I truly love my ol' man... Our entire relationship is based on playing video games, riding Harleys, and mind blowing sex... Its not a gig most women would be cool with LOL


Don't I know it...
 
2012-01-31 07:25:20 PM

cryinoutloud: umad: Sorry. I have been paraphrasing a certain Fark law talkin' guy's argument on why Crystal Magnum shouldn't be charged with anything from another thread.
Call it an experiment. It worked about as well as I thought it would when applied to the unfairer sex.

Poor baby. I have some advice for you--if you keep obsessing about how horrible woman are, you'll never get laid. But you'll still want to. Have a nice life.


I am absolutely devastated that a woman like you wouldn't want to sleep with me. It ruins my day.

You sound like such a catch from your posts, so I hold your opinion in very high regard.
 
2012-01-31 08:45:31 PM
i172.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-31 09:10:39 PM
He's making an effort . . .
 
2012-01-31 09:26:11 PM

umad: venerant: Um, OK?

Sorry. I have been paraphrasing a certain Fark law talkin' guy's argument on why Crystal Magnum shouldn't be charged with anything from another thread.

Call it an experiment. It worked about as well as I thought it would when applied to the unfairer sex.


I usually think "troll/idiot" and move on.
 
2012-01-31 10:20:17 PM

Umeraken Ideut: If she's anything like half the women in my life, she'll wake up in the morning, pretend nothing ever happened, and if anybody tries to bring it up, tell them "I was exaggerating. We're getting married"

Or something

/bitter about 2am phone calls from my sister telling me she can't stand his drunken ass
//she's still with his drunken ass
///get the same phone calls from a good friend of mine
////ditto


Kill him, and make damn sure they never find the body.
 
2012-01-31 11:21:45 PM
Not really trying to say anything nice about the guy, but Jesse James divorced his second wife for abuse. He stated on camera while filming motorcycle mania that she was always yelling and hitting him. The last straw was getting hit with a lamp. His only divorce I can agree with.
 
2012-02-01 11:50:55 AM

lack of warmth: Not really trying to say anything nice about the guy, but Jesse James divorced his second wife for abuse. He stated on camera while filming motorcycle mania that she was always yelling and hitting him. The last straw was getting hit with a lamp. His only divorce I can agree with.


Chuck FInley (pro athlete) divorced Tawny Kitean for domestic abuse.

/Here I go
//Again, on my own
 
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