Haha, dumbass.

Pro tip guys: You have to meet a woman more than once to consider yourself in a relationship

Pfft..whatever! Tell that to my girlfriend, Marissa Miller!

Holy crap she's hot. I don't have cancer, but there is a malignant lump in my pants.. Call me, baby.

He said he was diagnosed with bladder cancer and given an 87 percent chance of survival.

That's rather.. specific. No decimal points in the chances of survival though?

Daily Mail, this is your fourth greenlight today. Settle the fark down or people will think you're paying Drew under the table like Bleacher Report and TPM.

What a frickin' loser. What's his FARK handle?

Seemed kind of odd. No woman cares about the Superb Owl that much.
I imagined a much huskier, hirsute woman that might have played OLB in junior college.

What a drama king

From the comments:

Everything about this story is ridiculous. I don't believe any of the names in this story are real people. I don't think Fox is a real tv station. I have my doubts that Tennessee is even a state.

I laughed.

Jake Havechek: What a frickin' loser. What's his FARK handle?

Gingrinchian Twunt

Pro Tip: The "Pro Tip" Meme hasn't been entertaining in years. Game pro nostalgia can only last so long.

Good god, I fuc(king hate liars.

Hate. Hate. Hate.


beerrun: From the comments:

Everything about this story is ridiculous. I don't believe any of the names in this story are real people. I don't think Fox is a real tv station. I have my doubts that Tennessee is even a state.

I laughed.

Me, too. :)

Maybe he can bring his Canadian girlfriend. You know, they met at Niagara Falls.

Even if she's really hawt, and we want it to be so??

mistersnark: All's I want to is - why is the Daily Mail, a British newspaper, covering so much American news (or "news" in this case)? The last three greenlights on the main page from the Mail have been U.S. stories. What, is nothing going on in the UK?

They're increasing their market sure in the US, as is the Guardian - so at least you're getting one decent news outlet.

Truth of the matter is that there's something that appeals about right wing media noise boxes that a US audience wants to consume.

Not our (UK) fault, honest!

*sure = share

Well, that's a lawsuit.

Good thing the dude has bladder cancer, since at least his wages won't be garnished for a long time.

Good troll job. +1.

No, you don'. Hell you don't even have to meet her once for her to become your fiance. That is how I know my future wife Kate Upton loves me so much, we haven't even met and she already wants to bear my children,

Considering that I'm yet to forgive my aunt for dumping her fiance after he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, I want to kick this guy in the nutsack. Hard.

/RIP, Uncle Spencer.
//Ridiculous name, awesome guy.

"Meet"?

\www.russianbride4u.ru promises otherwise

I doubt this is true. People lie all of the time in attempts to escape embarrassment. And the frequency at which women do it is staggeringly excessive.

1. if he doesn't have tickets, we'll know in no more than 5 days
2. If he really is draggin her name through the mud, she'll likely sue for defamation/slander/etc
3. Of course she'll deny it, who wants to be known as THAT chic?
4. He's an attention whore and doesn't realize people can unfollow just as quick as follow on Twitter.

ratagorda: No woman cares about the Superb Owl that much.

Superb Owls need the most love.

Sybarite: Jake Havechek: Maybe he can bring his Canadian girlfriend. You know, they met at Niagara Falls.


Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned...step by step...inch by inch...

Ha! Excellent!
Thank you.

You people clearly don't understand modern society - whoever gets the most Twitter followers wins.
Time to hit the gym.

ihatedumbpeople: 2. If he really is draggin her name through the mud, she'll likely sue for defamation/slander/etc

He's said it wasn't her and that he "meant a different ex-girlfriend", but he named her Twitter account and certainly didn't take any steps to correct people. So, yeah, he's really dragging her name through the mud, and she's got an easy, easy case.

Loser's probably angry that she wouldn't date him more than once.

thelordofcheese: I doubt this is true. People lie all of the time in attempts to escape embarrassment. And the frequency at which women do it is staggeringly excessive.

Excessive relative to what? The frequency with which men lie? In which case, do you have a citation for that?

ihatedumbpeople: 1. if he doesn't have tickets, we'll know in no more than 5 days
2. If he really is draggin her name through the mud, she'll likely sue for defamation/slander/etc
3. Of course she'll deny it, who wants to be known as THAT chic?
4. He's an attention whore and doesn't realize people can unfollow just as quick as follow on Twitter.

^THIS hopefully after the Superb Owl or the day of, some news outlet (other than the Daily Fail) will be watching with interest ready to see if there is any truth to this at all.

He probably doesn't have cancer. Or tickets. Or even a real ex of any kind.

I wonder what his Fark handle is.

thelordofcheese: I doubt this is true. People lie all of the time in attempts to escape embarrassment. And the frequency at which women do it is staggeringly excessive.

Maybe it would have just been better if this guy texted her several times after she brushed him off, posted her angry responses to face book, then denied being clingy.

Okay, so now the media has repeated TWO sides of the story, without making any effort to verify a single allegation from either version.

And editors wonder why more and more people are content to get their news from Reddit and The Daily Show.

Doesn't it depend on the type of relationship? I suspect we've all had plenty of one night meaningful relationships.

But no, the biatch can't have my superbowl tickets. If i had any.

Theaetetus: Well, that's a lawsuit.

Good thing the dude has bladder cancer, since at least his wages won't be garnished for a long time.

You know what though? Big deal. That's a major pain in the ass. Time meeting with lawyers, days in court, cash out of pocket upfront for legal bills, and for what? You have to prove how much damage was done, which if you aren't a special case won't be all that much, then he has to have assets you can seize, IF he hasn't found a way to hide them, which a lot of people do. No matter what, it costs you time and money just to bring a suit, and there are ways to circumvent damages.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like there is a better solution in a civilized society, but it's still not "justice", IMNSHO.

Now, say the media who ran the story were to be forced to run a retraction, and also run a story about false accusations with him as the poster boy, that would be better than a few thousand dollars. It might have more impact on keeping liars in check, as well.

Hey, I thought this is where we would all claim that we knew from the very beginning that the story was made up. Fark, I am disappoint!

mistersnark: All's I want to is - why is the Daily Mail, a British newspaper, covering so much American news (or "news" in this case)? The last three greenlights on the main page from the Mail have been U.S. stories. What, is nothing going on in the UK?

Because of this: (new window)

"The Daily Mail has overtaken the New York Times to become the world's most visited newspaper website, according to online tracking service Comscore. The biggest increase in readers has been in the US"

And you know what. Fark is to bloody blame I reckon.

Tell that to all the crazy biatches I've dated over the years.

No, really... please tell them. I'm running out of places to hide.

Fluorescent Testicle: Considering that I'm yet to forgive my aunt for dumping her fiance after he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, I want to kick this guy in the nutsack. Hard.

/RIP, Uncle Spencer.
//Ridiculous name, awesome guy.

wow dude....I gotta take your side on that one.

Your aunt's one hardcore biatch if that's really what happened.

You have to meet a woman more than once to consider yourself in a relationship

You know of course this is FARK and there are people here that have been in long term relationships with woman they have never spoken to...

thelordofcheese: I doubt this is true. People lie all of the time in attempts to escape embarrassment. And the frequency at which women do it is staggeringly excessive.


Elia is standing by his story. In an e-mail to Mail Online he said the woman he was referring as his ex-girlfriend was not Miss Sen.

However, he declined to name the woman who he accused of dumping him over cancer.

She's not lying, he probably named her not thinking it would get this big and she'd never know.

This could not just be an elaborate scheme to get both of them 15 seconds of fame, because people NEVER do anything like this....

And if it's true, do people REALLY think that she would admit it?

Speaking as someone who still doesn't really "get" Twitter -- why are so many people obsessed with having as many followers as possible? Does it affect SEO in some way, your Twitter page gets higher Pagerank the more followers you have, or something? Or is it purely an ego thing?

cmcl: Speaking as someone who still doesn't really "get" Twitter -- why are so many people obsessed with having as many followers as possible? Does it affect SEO in some way, your Twitter page gets higher Pagerank the more followers you have, or something? Or is it purely an ego thing?

People are attention whores.

beerrun: From the comments:

Everything about this story is ridiculous. I don't believe any of the names in this story are real people. I don't think Fox is a real tv station. I have my doubts that Tennessee is even a state.

I laughed.

Me too. Then I laughed even harder when I noticed that comment was made by "Steve B."

/Immediately assumed a farker had posted it, though I suppose it could be a coincidence.