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(Daily Mail)   England soiling its collective pants as temperatures may drop to 12°F. What ever happened to "keep a stiff upper lip"?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 118
    More: Stupid, Iceland, Met Office, Winter Wonderland, care homes, England, Hampshire, health department, Britain  
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6444 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2012 at 9:25 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-31 04:20:43 AM
What's that in metric?
 
2012-01-31 04:21:55 AM
Yeh, ok, being prepared for weathers we aren't usually used to isn't soiling anything. The only thing soiled is your mums vagina.

Ooh, cold snap!
 
2012-01-31 04:35:17 AM
That's 'warm' where I live usually this time of year.
 
2012-01-31 04:44:57 AM
acanuck: What's that in metric?

About a quid, I reckon!
 
2012-01-31 05:02:12 AM
If all those para gliders are soiling themselves, then shiat will be raining from the sky.
 
2012-01-31 05:05:45 AM
robmilmel: acanuck: What's that in metric?

About a quid, I reckon!



Ok...once more for you slow learners.

1 Kilogram = 2.3 degrees.

1.4 degree = .5 litres.

2.9 litre = 1.2 stone.

.34 stone = 15.3 gills.

2.7 gills = 61kilometres.

7.1 kilometres = .29 fortnights.

6.5 fortnights = 1.8 hectares.
 
2012-01-31 05:52:06 AM
Well it's easy to keep a stiff upper lip when it's encased in frozen snot.
 
2012-01-31 06:55:14 AM
I thinks it's "Close your eyes and think of England"..
 
2012-01-31 07:10:19 AM
Didn't these people have an empire that spanned the globe while their navy ruled supreme over the seas? When did they become such pansies?
 
2012-01-31 08:04:36 AM
miss diminutive: Didn't these people have an empire that spanned the globe while their navy ruled supreme over the seas? When did they become such pansies?

Starting some time around 1920. There was a bit of a decline in the 1920's and 1930's, then they found their testicles when they needed to in 1939. After that, though, it has been a long slide downward. It's interesting to note that the PM with the biggest balls in the last 60 years was a woman.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-01-31 08:12:33 AM
The little kids seem to be enjoying it.
 
2012-01-31 08:22:17 AM
reading the article, it does not look that cold and/or devastating for everybody. -12 while cold is not the end of the world.
 
2012-01-31 08:40:55 AM
orange storm: reading the article, it does not look that cold and/or devastating for everybody. -12 while cold is not the end of the world.

Around here, that's about when we start wearing long sleeves.
 
2012-01-31 09:29:03 AM
I'll bet they deal with the cold better than when it gets into the upper 80s.
 
2012-01-31 09:29:31 AM
Cor blimey, guv!
 
2012-01-31 09:30:23 AM
Err, is snow that rare in England? Reading Dickens makes me believe it's just winter.
 
2012-01-31 09:30:34 AM
I thought the big problem was lack of central heating in a lot of old houses over there. Some of my mother's family there certainly didn't have that luxury. That might make things a little less pleasant.

/ -12 was a pretty normal temperature where I grew up, but we had a nice toasty warm house with heat in all the rooms.
 
2012-01-31 09:30:57 AM
Of course, it's caused by global warming. And if it were unusually warm, that too would be caused by global warming.
 
2012-01-31 09:31:00 AM
jacksonville.typepad.com

I say old chap, my yarbles seem to have frozen solid and rolled down the leg of my pantaloon.
Be a good fellow and fetch them, won't you?
 
2012-01-31 09:33:45 AM
Call Mr. Plough
that's my name
That name again is Mr. Plough.

/translated for the UK.
 
2012-01-31 09:35:03 AM
Its just the Mail flailing around for stories. I went to the petrol station earlier and saw this story had actually made the front page. Nobody, I repeat nobody that I interact with in the UK gives a shiat if its going to be a tad colder for awhile.

/keep calm
//its only a drop in temprature
 
2012-01-31 09:37:17 AM
I'm soiling myself too: it is going to be 60 in Chicago today! WTF?

All the dog poop from the last three weeks is melting!
 
2012-01-31 09:37:45 AM
Since when has the Daily Fail's trademark wharrgarbl been synonymous with what anyone with an ounce of common sense in the UK thinks?

Is this where Americans are getting all their ideas about us Brits from? You know that conclusive is about as accurate as assuming the wingnuts that populate Fox News are representative of the entire US. Rule #1 of Daily Mail journalism: keep 'em scared.
 
2012-01-31 09:38:25 AM
Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Of course, it's caused by global warming. And if it were unusually warm, that too would be caused by global warming.

You mean like how its supposed to hit 60 in Maryland today?

I know, I know. Climate change is all sciencey and you don't believe in none o that fancy book lernin'
 
2012-01-31 09:38:35 AM
ThunderChild: Since when has the Daily Fail's trademark wharrgarbl been synonymous with what anyone with an ounce of common sense in the UK thinks?

Is this where Americans are getting all their ideas about us Brits from? You know that conclusive conclusion is about as accurate as assuming the wingnuts that populate Fox News are representative of the entire US. Rule #1 of Daily Mail journalism: keep 'em scared.


FTFM
 
2012-01-31 09:38:40 AM
Iceland isn't very cold...
 
2012-01-31 09:38:50 AM
It was colder than that when I was in New Hampshire on business two weeks ago. I survived and I'm from Florida.
 
2012-01-31 09:39:08 AM
eeeleeet: That's 'warm' where I live usually this time of year.

And your home is built accordingly. Their homes aren't. .
 
2012-01-31 09:39:21 AM
acanuck: What's that in metric?

Cold.

I think it's the same in the Queen's English as it is in American, too.
 
2012-01-31 09:40:46 AM
tricycleracer: It was colder than that when I was in New Hampshire on business two weeks ago. I survived and I'm from Florida.

How would the house you lived in in Florida have held up? Think that heat pump coulda kept up after the slab got cold?
 
2012-01-31 09:43:11 AM
hurdboy: tricycleracer: It was colder than that when I was in New Hampshire on business two weeks ago. I survived and I'm from Florida.

How would the house you lived in in Florida have held up? Think that heat pump coulda kept up after the slab got cold?


You're suggesting that Florida homes and British homes are built to similar weather requirements?
 
2012-01-31 09:44:08 AM
Meh, I'm kinda hoping for snow, it's fun and magical and you can throw it at your colleagues in the car park :)
 
2012-01-31 09:44:23 AM
Is it just me or are these some ridiculously good photographs for such a throw away story?
 
2012-01-31 09:44:35 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-01-31 09:44:55 AM
Blah, I'm crying for them. I got a farking sunburn this weekend in 80 degree weather. It's January for god sakes, it's supposed to be cold!!!
 
2012-01-31 09:46:36 AM
I saw this as I was hanging up the phone with my cousin in Kristiansand, Norway. So I yell "wait! what's the weather like there?" She told me it's been "nice" and in the mid to high 20's. So the UK is now officially colder than the South of Norway. Congrats.
 
2012-01-31 09:47:18 AM
A large portion of that article wasn't about England at all, Subby.
 
2012-01-31 09:48:13 AM
Until further notice the phrase will be reworded as, "Stiff upper nip"
 
2012-01-31 09:49:13 AM
England needs to grow a pair of shrivelled balls. If you look at the blue monster enveloping Europe, England might end up a bit colder than Spain.
 
2012-01-31 09:49:15 AM
"Stiff upper lip" is not the same as "frozen stiff upper lip."
 
2012-01-31 09:50:35 AM
The Englishmen who keep a stiff upper lip are the ones who give the orders that cause other Englishmen to soil their trousers. It is easy to keep a stiff upper lip fifty miles to the rear of the battle line in a modern luxury suite of the King George V Hotel unless your tea is not hot enough. -- Love, Edwin Blackadder (Capt.)

P.S. Baldrick says that his upper lip is stiff, but that is only because he has frostbite and it has turned as blubbery and black as a Haitian Voodoo Queen's arse, with nasty colours around the edges. The nasty colours have nothing to do with frostbite, however. Baldrick has oral hygeine that would appall a komodo dragon and breath that would kill one.
 
2012-01-31 09:50:47 AM
7wolf: Iceland isn't very cold...

And Greenland isn't very green.
 
2012-01-31 09:51:10 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit: I saw this as I was hanging up the phone with my cousin in Kristiansand, Norway. So I yell "wait! what's the weather like there?" She told me it's been "nice" and in the mid to high 20's. So the UK is now officially colder than the South of Norway. Congrats.

And a lot colder than Southern Ontario, Canada. Today's forecast is for a high of 6C/43F, and it's definitely above freezing already. We are still waiting for winter to arrive here - wow, we have had snow on the ground for TWO DAYS now!!! It's about to leave today. Back in my northern Ontario hometown, today's high is -2C/28F. So ya, it's colder than a good chunk of Canada as well.
 
2012-01-31 09:51:57 AM
bhcompy: Err, is snow that rare in England? Reading Dickens makes me believe it's just winter.

Dickens actually invented the whole idea if a white Xmas in the UK. They've always been rare.

This article (new window) was linked off of Fark a couple of weeks back IIRC.

We probably get 7-10 days of snow a year, at most (YMMV for Northern parts of the country, but nothing north of london counts anyway ;-P ), and mostly it's just a light dusting that hangs around for a couple of hours or maybe a day. Actual proper snowfall is a rarity for most parts of the country. The media seems to think that the Apocalypse has come and starts going on about how the country is woefully prepared and why do local authorities not have fleets of snowplows on standby (hint, it's because it ain't worth it).

What happens with the actual populace is that is snows, everyone goes "yay! snow day", gets their sledges out (or goes and buys one) and goes out and has fun for a day or 3 until it all turns to grey mush. Oh, and anyone with a 4*4 thinks they are immune to having to drive carefully and finds themselves going backwards through a hedge. Also, BMW drivers seem to realise that it actually takes some skill to drive a RWD car in icy conditions and that traction control ain't gonna save your arse ever.
 
2012-01-31 09:52:08 AM
One question which has always stumped me about Imperial measurements: How many gills are there in a perch?
 
2012-01-31 09:53:14 AM
amindtat: 7wolf: Iceland isn't very cold...

And Greenland isn't very green.


The Icelandic national anthem is "We've got steam heat". It's a Farckt.
 
2012-01-31 09:54:18 AM
Shakespeare's Monkey: [jacksonville.typepad.com image 350x454]

I say old chap, my yarbles seem to have frozen solid and rolled down the leg of my pantaloon.
Be a good fellow and fetch them, won't you?


Not my job. The officer's batman is responsible for collecting his balls.
 
2012-01-31 09:54:20 AM
62 degrees in Ohio today.
/Normal (average) would be a high of 40 and a low of 20.
//Might get the Willys out for lunch.
 
2012-01-31 09:55:28 AM
epoc_tnac: England needs to grow a pair of shrivelled balls. If you look at the blue monster enveloping Europe, England might end up a bit colder than Spain.

Aww, fark ditched my link. Here it is, for people that like cool weather prediction images. I only just found out that we had access to weather satellites directly instead of waiting for the idiots on the news to tell us what is going on.

http://www.meteox.co.uk/forecastloop.aspx?type=0
 
2012-01-31 09:56:27 AM
So, does this mean the arctic jet stream is finally bending south? Granted, with the decline in ice in the artcic, maybe its kind of a good thing for the cold air to stay up there longer.
 
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