I never had one of these toys growing up (yeah, I was that deprived) but isn't the whole idea that he only stretches when pulled? He never stretches of his own free will.

So how are they going to make a movie based on that?

And to be realistic the people stretching him should be much larger than he is.

Sorry, guys... Still waiting on the big-screen adaptation of the video game "Pong"

Although I think there might be an interest in this Etch-A-Sketch mini-series I've worked up.

That's good. They shouldn't have let that bastard who shot Gabby Giffords be in a movie anyway.

Honest Bender: Who?
*looks at pic in article*
...Who?

Some guy whose face is too small for his head, plays a werewolf in Twilight, I think.

Alphax: Honest Bender: Who?
*looks at pic in article*
...Who?

Some guy whose face is too small for his head, plays a werewolf in Twilight, I think.

And the most farked-up nose working in the entertainment industry. Seriously... use some of the that Twilight money and get that thing fixed.

/Can't even look at it.

LonMead: Sorry, guys... Still waiting on the big-screen adaptation of the video game "Pong"

Although I think there might be an interest in this Etch-A-Sketch mini-series I've worked up.

Sybarite: He is totally going to miss out.

[www.kitsune.fr image 500x330]

Okay, THAT should never be live action..

GreenAdder: I figured if Taylor was going to be in any movie about stretching, it would involve a goat of some sort, see? http://se.cx/?

/That's the joke?

Horrible idea of a movie with a tween studboy. Oh, and middle-aged women swoon over him too. They'll see the movie just because he's in it. In the eyes of the studio, making a profit is paramount: the movie will obviously be a turd, but a slightly polished turd.

CSASB time: I received Stretch Armstrong as a gift for Christmas 1976. My cousin and I ignored the warning to not stretch him over four feet, and stretched him across the diagonal of my bedroom - about 8 feet. Then my cousin let go of his end and I got snapped in the face.

/wasn't cool at the time it happened

I had a Stretch Armstong. I did find out that you could puncture it...

Alphax: I had a Stretch Armstong. I did find out that you could puncture it...

I had neighbors that had one that was punctured somehow (3 boys, I'm not sure to who Mr. Armstrong belonged). They all enjoyed the taste of Stretch's gooey filling and fought over who had possession of it so they could eat it.
Swear to god.

15 minutes into the movie, he should tear under the arm pit, have goo drip out of him, then have a mother with a disgusted look on her face toss him in the garbage saying "Well, that was a waste of good money." THE END.

Krymson Tyde: Alphax: I had a Stretch Armstong. I did find out that you could puncture it...

I had neighbors that had one that was punctured somehow (3 boys, I'm not sure to who Mr. Armstrong belonged). They all enjoyed the taste of Stretch's gooey filling and fought over who had possession of it so they could eat it.
Swear to god.

I hope nobody ever bought them a Happy Fun Ball.

I had the Stretch Monster, but not Stretch Armstrong. The goo inside crystallized after a few years, so he eventually became Stiff Monster.

I also had Suckerman.

/the toy only suckers buy

I can't wait for the epic undersea battle scene!


(hot, like Olivia)

Is Stretch Armstrong really one of those toys parents will say, "We're going to the theater to relive this nostalgia"? GI Joes, TMNT, Cabbage Patch dolls, I get. The were really a part of some kids childhood.

But did anyone have Stretch Armstrong sleeping bags? Or a Stretch Armstrong themed birthday party?

No, it probably can't count on the loyalty of former toy owners. So this movie only really has the plot to drive it forward. Which means it's only a movie about a stretchy guy. Who the fark cares, Mr. Producer?

Alphax: Honest Bender: Who?
*looks at pic in article*
...Who?

Some guy whose face is too small for his head, plays a werewolf in Twilight, I think.

I thought he was an alpaca.

FTFA: no less ridiculous than making a $200 million alien invasion flick based on Battleship - you know, the board game - and that thing was actually produced (it comes out in May).

Words fail me. Wow, just wow.

rebelyell2006: FTFA: no less ridiculous than making a $200 million alien invasion flick based on Battleship - you know, the board game - and that thing was actually produced (it comes out in May).

Words fail me. Wow, just wow.

I've seen the trailers. They're horrible.

This is going to be a porn movie.

This guy was waaay cooler

DecemberNitro: This guy was waaay cooler

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I had that guy.

The only way a Stretch Armstrong movie would work would be as a parody of toy-themed movies.

He's not going to be in the movie. Way to read the farking article, subby. I mean, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE HEADLINE!

noazark: I had the Stretch Monster, but not Stretch Armstrong. The goo inside crystallized after a few years, so he eventually became Stiff Monster.

Which, coincidentally, is the name I gave my penis.

/if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

Dumbest idea ever.

You want a movie about a guy who stretches? Tell DC to get off their asses and cast Bruce Campbell as Plastic Man.

Happy Hours: I never had one of these toys growing up (yeah, I was that deprived) but isn't the whole idea that he only stretches when pulled? He never stretches of his own free will.

So how are they going to make a movie based on that?

And to be realistic the people stretching him should be much larger than he is.

Wasn't there a cartoon?

It's a stretch to call him an actor.

noazark: I had the Stretch Monster, but not Stretch Armstrong. The goo inside crystallized after a few years, so he eventually became Stiff Monster.

I also had Suckerman.

/the toy only suckers buy



He's waiting his chance, working as a barista in West Hollywood

\shakes tiny, stretchable suction cup covered fist
\\hot like a welt left by an overstretched Armstrong

I watched my friends dad whack him in the head a few times with a Stretch Armstrong.