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(Daily Mail)   88-year-old former Marine reveals his life as a Hollywood rentboy. Nailed Katharine Hepburn and had orgies with every celeb of the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's. Semper Fi bro, you're now my hero times two   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, Hollywood, Rock Hudson, tracy, Cole Porter, Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Rita Hayworth, King Edward VIII  
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24756 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2012 at 4:51 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-01-30 06:20:11 AM  
10 votes:
We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught herpes in Hollywood. I needed 150 new girls for Katherine Hepburn, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called The Valley in those days. So I tied an onion to my cock, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a shilling, and in those days, shillings had pictures of King Edward VIII on 'em. Gimme a bisexual three-way for Eddie, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my cock, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
2012-01-30 03:35:52 AM  
8 votes:
You know what the difference between a Marine and a homosexual is? Four beers.
2012-01-30 05:24:15 AM  
7 votes:

EatenTheSun: I used to bang Morgan Fairchild.

And by "Fairchild" you mean "Freeman"
2012-01-30 08:17:05 AM  
3 votes:
Oh yeah? Well I also slept with Spencer Tracy and Vivien Leigh, and I banged Katherine Hepburn and Rita Hayworth too; in a foursome with Nefertiti, in my time-machine, no less. Furthermore, I once squired the Queen of Venus around the United States on a royal visit -oh, the nights of that peregrination were positively humid with inter-species fornications- and have fathered no less than 3 Norls upon the Grand Synlax of the Moon which, what with the bramble of paralytic mating spines surrounding the Uterine Conveyance, is quite an achievement let me tell you. But hey, his sex stories are cool too, I guess.
2012-01-30 05:18:06 AM  
3 votes:

88-year-olds are sometimes confused about the past.
2012-01-30 05:03:55 AM  
3 votes:
2012-01-30 04:55:46 AM  
3 votes:

EatenTheSun: I used to bang Morgan Fairchild.

You bastard! That's my wife!
2012-01-30 12:54:54 AM  
3 votes:
I used to bang Morgan Fairchild.
2012-01-30 12:13:01 AM  
3 votes:
Hero times two for taking it up the sh*tter? If you say so, Subby.
2012-01-30 11:51:44 AM  
2 votes:
What, all this and no mention of a more recent example?

Of course, he only claimed to be a Marine.
2012-01-30 09:22:10 AM  
2 votes:
To all the haters:

Seriously, what's your problem? People never lie about sex.
2012-01-30 07:12:21 AM  
2 votes:
First I did Katharine Hepburn then Hedy Lamarr..
Yeah that's the ticket...

Or was it Hedley Lamarr
2012-01-30 05:26:05 AM  
2 votes:

EatenTheSun: I used to bang Morgan Fairchild.

So that's where my wife Morgan Fairchild was spending our hard eraned money.
2012-01-30 05:19:42 AM  
2 votes:
Did I ever tell you about the time Barbara Eden went full Genie on my bottle?

I promise you it happened. I was farking Dawn Wells at the time but also Barbara Feldon. She was the one who almost ripped my dick off. And that was before she found out I cheated.
2012-01-30 12:36:43 AM  
2 votes:
I used to nail Anna Nicole, Barbara Billingsley and Farrah Fawcett all the time... just ask 'em.
2012-01-30 09:58:52 AM  
1 vote:
Ewww! Ewwww! Ewww! I watched their movies!
2012-01-30 09:30:10 AM  
1 vote:
headline Nailed Katharine Hepburn rtfa: had sex with a bunch of men never mentions having sex with women. I can understand why he is subby's hero. Subby is a giant homo.
2012-01-30 08:24:23 AM  
1 vote:
Is there a group more full of shiat then ex marines ?
2012-01-30 08:08:00 AM  
1 vote:

sweater_pups: "former marine" ??

submittard is not familiar with the US Marines.

Nice work, subby. Very old bait, but you hooked a couple. And you didn't push it by calling him a former soldier of the Marine Core.

/know your memes
2012-01-30 07:50:11 AM  
1 vote:

Pert: Nobody else spot the uncanny similarity between Scotty Bowers and another man in uniform?

I was kinda thinking he bears a strong resemblance to Matt Damon. Is Matt really sure he knows who his daddy is?
2012-01-30 07:44:40 AM  
1 vote:
No wonder Katherine Hepburn's head shaked like a bobblehead.

/too much pussy juice...
2012-01-30 06:27:47 AM  
1 vote:
Nobody else spot the uncanny similarity between Scotty Bowers and another man in uniform?
2012-01-30 06:24:37 AM  
1 vote:

blackheart666: EatenTheSun: I used to bang Morgan Fairchild.

And by "Fairchild" you mean "Freeman"

He's Freemans granddaughter?
2012-01-30 06:04:47 AM  
1 vote:
I invented the question mark.
2012-01-30 05:45:59 AM  
1 vote:

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: And if a woman did the same thing, she'd be ridiculed as a slut


and a slut.
2012-01-30 05:26:12 AM  
1 vote:
I was doing Carol and Mike Brady back in the day. They couldn't fit me in those squares with the rest of the Bunch though.

/Hooked up Jan with Danny Partridge once.
2012-01-30 12:20:57 AM  
1 vote:
Nailed Katharine Hepburn

And nowhere in TFA is that indicated. He just hooked her up with chicks, supposedly. Unless he took pics or something, that is not heroic.
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